27-jan 2000
As i continue with the
education and the journey that is my everyday life, i am always
forced to bring the idea of God into question. Who or What is
God? While this is a question I know I'll never answer completely
i am certainly content with the little bits and pieces i pick up
each day. The most recent which i of course will share with you.
Years ago, when i was told my mother was sick and that it was
"out of our hands", I was told that all we could really
do was pray for a miracle... which i did. But deep down i didn't
really believe in what i was asking. I didn't feel right asking
for this and i didn't know why.
So when i was told another member of my family was facing the
same illness as my mother i was once again told to pray for a
miracle, but this time i flatly refused. And then it hit me...I
won't insult God with these ludicrous requests. You see, i
realize as i go through life i ask for very little. Do not
misunderstand me as so much is offered and given to me. But along
these lines i realize now i never really ask God for too much
anymore...but i thank him for everything i can.
I can honestly say there are days i wake up and smell the fresh
air of a new day; sit at the top of a mountain snowboarding; or
get a single smile from a complete stranger and i simply say
"thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over again.
There truly is so much that we are given that we are to be
thankful for and to ask for the slightest thing more from God,
let alone a miracle is simply ridiculous to me. In fact, it's
downright ungrateful. So many times it's what we don't say that is louder than any request we speak. If i ask God for this miracle am i not also saying every day i've shared with my uncle up til now wasn't gift enough? I need more God. You haven't given me enough. It's the same thing in everyday life, realize that the things you don't say often speak so much louder than those that you do.
So my uncle is sick, but i won't ask God for a miracle. But i will thank God, for the times i've shared with him, for the laughter he gave my parents, for his teaching me how to ride a bike, for being excited to see me every time i walk in, and for every day i get to share with him in the future. I'll ask god to give my family strength in these times, i'll ask him to keep my uncle from pain, but not for a miracle. I think in today's world to have an uncle like mine is a miracle in itself so i guess i got one without even asking. So again i say...
thank you
thank you
thank you
xoxo
...-g