Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis: Hardcore exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down
on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.
Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two
Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Squirt the Bird: To transmit a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
Tourists: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were
just tourists."
Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material, such
as books.
Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Chips and Salsa: Hardware and software, respectively: "Well, first we
gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
leave a company or department soon.
GOOD Job: A "GetOutOfDebt" job. A well-paying job people take in order
to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent
again.
Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime example.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of
an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the
operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
Yuppie Food Stamps: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere.
Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each,
but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits on
everything and then leaves.
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