I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.

-Anne Frank, September 28, 1942

Aug 23, 1999 - Confusion, mild irritation, melancholy. That is how my day went.  here's how it all break's down:
-Confusion> I cannot for the life of me remember with a 100% certainty if I work tomorrow or not.
I believe I'm off but I have to go up there tomorrow and check.
-Mild Irritation> The power was off for four hours this morning and I had to adjust all the damn clocks in my house when I got up. If that wasn't enough the cable was also out an wasn't restored till about 7pm. I went a whole day without any freaking television. It will take about 4 hrs of basic cable to get the shaking to stop.
-Melancholy> In a "latter life" crisis type move, my mom picked up and left for Atlanta Friday. The why is to convoluted to go into but just know that she gave me a good two hour warning before she left and she will be back eventually cause when asked she was unsure herself when she would return. As result I'm left taking care of the house and all the bureaucracy that comes with being a surrogate homeowner. And this quiet house is now even more quiet. And I am alone in it. Other than that everything is just hunky fucking dory...

Aug 25, 1999 - I really need to get a life. I know I've been saying that since high school. And I know high school ended 10 years ago but I mean it this time. Really I mean it. This going home to an empty house shit has gotten old and stale. A guy from work and I are going to join a gym together in Sept. and start working out. I need to start something to get my self-esteem kick started. I guess the gym is a start. I hope we can get this estate shit stuff done soon. I haven't heard from either lawyer and it sort of bothers me but no news is good news. (unless dealing with lawyers).

Sept 12, 1999 - Ok we finally heard from both lawyers. The Alabama stuff is almost done. Just have to get a document notarized and mailed back Monday and that stuff could be done within 2 weeks and the Florida junk within a month. So things are slowly looking up. Now it's back to focusing on paying bills and such. Mom sent money for bills so things are ok. The friend I was going to start working out with choked on me cause he got a speeding ticket and can't afford it now. What a duffus. I have been off the last 2 days and I have accomplished very little. I did get some of the lawn cut and I am now washing clothes as I write but it will probably be a week before they get folded. Thank the gods summer is over. I know it's fun and all that but when you work in one of the busiest restaurants in Destin FL it is a pain...

Sept 15, 1999 - I haven't done anything this week. I still haven't sent the paperwork back to the Alabama lawyer. I went to a Mail Boxes Etc here in town to get something notarized and the lady wouldn't do it because I didn't have any ID that had my middle name on it. What a bitch. I haven't been sleeping well all week. let me clarify I haven't been waking up well. It takes me about a half hour to just get out of bed. A friend and I are going to Atlanta for a ball game and concert. It's the   99x Big Day Out  at Lakewood Amphitheater. We are going up Fri and leaving Sat after the concert and crashing in Montgomery AL before returning home Sun because we both have to work that night. It ought to be cool but I get whiny during these all day festival type shows. But at least the music will be almost constant so I will just deal with it...

Nov 16, 1999 - Mom came home today from Atlanta. And as expected she pretty much made me feel as about as bad as can be. She can't be happy for a minute without making me feel small. Anyway good news is she will go sign the papers to close my father's estate in the morning and she will be gone back to GA by the afternoon. I' can't wait at this point. I think I will go to Alabama on Thurs to visit relatives and either return Fri or come back the same day. All I got to say is vacation ain't what it use to be. And also  ROLL TIDE...

 Nov 24, 1999 -  OK. I have been without internet access since last weekend. I screwed up my modem up and I can't get it to work. Let me tell you it sucks. I bet one of my friends in Tallahassee emailed to tell me he could get tickets to the sugar bowl but I had to get right back to him for the deal to happen. My life happens like that. OH well tomorrow is thanksgiving and I will just enjoy the day off and the food. I will spend the day readying myself for the Christmas season and playing video games. Hopefully I will get my modem working by the first of next week and I can post this stuff and get my damn email...

Nov 28, 1999 - My friend got my modem working on Thanksgiving night so I'm back. "Thanks Ed." You are the man. Work has been busy with the whole day after Thanksgiving shopping thing and all. Joel said he would try to get me tickets for the sugar bowl. It would rock like it hasn't rocked before if he could get them. Other than that nothing new...later...WFB 

Dec 12, 1999 - ok quick update. I have no life. I still am not 100% responsible with money due to impulse buying (i.e.. new vid card, TV card, books, and the 2 games). Life is still sucky. I don't plan on killing myself anytime soon so things aren't as bad as they could be I guess. And the University Of Alabama won the SEC title and is going to the Orange Bowl for the 1st time since 1966. So I'll just muddle thru the Christmas season somehow...

Dec 22, 1999 - Mom is home again for the holidays. This reunion went better then last time. She will only be home a week so I just be a good little boy and deal. I got no feeling on Y2K. I'll just let the computer chips fall where they may. And a big shout goes to Tom. He's headed for Europe after Christmas to fornicate. "Have Fun and be safe. Avoid the crabs".     MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY ( I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE THE DAY OFF ) NEW YEAR!!!

Jan 6, 2000 - Life still sucks. My half-sister is being difficult and I am just tired of it all. I want all this estate shit done with, DAMN IT!!! On a more positive note. The employee of the year party for work is Monday. I was surprised when I found out Fri I had an invite. Apparently working for this company 8 freaking years at least gets me in the door. I got more I need to get off my chest but it is now 353am so it will have to wait.

Feb 13, 2000 - My Uncle's funeral is today. I received a call from my Aunt Edna yesterday and she told me Uncle Bud had died on Fri (2-11-00). I have nothing left. I wanted to cry but I haven't yet. I don't know how to react. I am sad but I can't vent it out. I will have to leave by 930am (it's 230am now). The viewing of the body is from 1-3pm and the funeral begins at 3pm. I guess I am also worried Brenda will be there. I don't know what I will say or how I will feel if I see her. I really can't and don't want to mess w/the legal shit while at the funeral. I have enough to deal with already...."Why can't it just be over?"...

May 7, 2000 - A lot has happened since 2/13/2000. We have sold the land in Alabama and everyone has received their share of the cash. Brenda has sent the form and it is in the hands of the att'y so hopefully she will get everything taken care of. I have money. It ain't a million dollars but I have upgraded my toys a little (check the pic's page, the jazzfest photos were done on the new digital camera). My friend Ed and I went to the New Orleans JazzFest on Saturday. I would have liked to have gone for the whole weekend since I am on vacation but Ed has a new job and he lives 3 hrs away from me so it was an effort for him to come here then drive another 3 hrs to New Orleans w/me. Anyway we had a good time spent money, at well and dicked around the quarter for a couple of hrs after the fest before we drove to Gulfport MS to crash for the night before returning today. I have this whole week off and only a couple of things on the schedule. I will just have to enjoy not working I guess...later

June 26, 2000 - Again, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote. Mom came home for a week. I drove her back to Atlanta and saw Juliana Hatfield at the Cotton Club. She is trying to buy a business with her family members from Korea in the Atlanta area. I told here I don't want to be involved but she keeps pestering me because she doesn't respect me or care for my feelings on the matter. there is other stuff but I am pissing myself off thinking about it so this will have to do for now.

Jan 6, 2001 - I don't write a whole lot anymore. I just had a galactic fight w/ my Mom. It was a big one this time. I pretty much told her how I honestly felt about things. I didn't pull any punches. I don't think it was a bad thing but I think things will never be the same. (man I love that cliché) We bought this restaurant back in Dec. Except the previous owner didn't tell us that she didn't actually own any of the kitchen equipment. It created a bit of chaos to say the least. We got that can of worms taken cared of yesterday. Big whoop!!! We get to go see the landlord about getting the lease on the building the restaurant is located in on Monday. Give me another "Big whoop!!!" I went to New Orleans last Friday (12-29-00) w/ my friend Tom. We saw Mojo Nixon at the Howlin' Wolf. If you ever get the opportunity to see Mojo,  I highly recommend it at least once in a lifetime, maybe twice. I start school on Tues. I have an 8am class. Man that will be a f 'ing hell. I got a friend (Tom) who will let me crash over the nights before and between classes (my next class ain't till 530pm, I know I'm a genius). that's all for now...I'm gonna go drink a bottle of vodka and eat a case of ex-lax before work...

Jan 18, 2001 - last day of second week of classes, I have macroeconomics (cool & hard), college algebra (not cool, sort of hard in a almost as bad as macroeconomics sort of way), and micro app packages (aka Office 2000, should be cakewalk). My first class everyday is at 8am. I live about 50 miles from school which translates into a 530am wakeup call. Occasionally I crash with a friend who lives in town and that means I can sleep in till 700am. Anyway I trying to say it sort of sucks. I mean I am actually digging school just the whole getting up when I use to go to bed thing just isn't as congruent as I had hoped. it's 425pm CST right now. I just thought I'd throw that in for reference for all you time enthusiasts. that's all for now...I'm gonna go drink a bottle of everclear and eat a case of M&M's before class...

May 28, 2001 - A lot has happened since january. I passed all my spring classes. B in Col.Algebra, b-in Micro packages (office2000), and a miracle c in Macro Economics. Mom and i still fight. Yong-me and her son have arrived from korea to live here. I don't feel bad they are here, but i really am not all thrilled either. I know it will allow me to leave the restaurant. It now messes up the home life. 2 more people in our house and mom will try to force family bonding. It's gonna be sort of hard since i last saw my "sister" 23-25 yrs ago. anyway...later

Sept 5, 2001 - OK let me try this again so I don't erase it again. I did well during summer semester. I got an A- and a B-. 3 classes taking in Fall, Statistics, Bus Calc, and Java. Teachers seem cool but only Statistics has good girl count. I bought a PS2 online today. I had to sell my previous one when I was in financial crisis. I know this won't help in the long run but "DAMN" NCAA Football 2002 kicks some major ass.I gotta go. Homework and all that jazz...Later

Mar 22, 2002 - It's been a long while since I last wrote. I was academiclly suspended last semester. I still work at McGuire's. Life Still Sucks more Soon...

Sept 11, 2002 - It's the anniversary of the WTC attacks. I sit here in a computer room in the Comm Arts Buildiing at UWF and there is a framed copy of the NY Times front page from Sept 12, 2001. I think of all the things i bitch about on these pages. I think about a lot of things and realize the insignifigance of much of it and I also think of what is actually important that I take for granted. Time is a precious thing. The limits set by time should not limit our ability or desire to hope and dream for a better life, for a better world. This is all I can and will say on the matter. There's enough out there on the net to keep you all occupied on the subject. I got class in 20 minutes so I'm gonna go jack off in the library to a copy of the Att'y General's Report on Pornography ...

Dec 24, 2002 - The fall semester of 2002 has ended here at UWF. Actually it ended a week and a half ago. I got 2 A's and a B-. I am stones throw away from finally being off academic probation. For those who just tuned in, i've been on academic probation since summer 1992. Yeah that's a while to be on the schnied. I am enrolled for 15 hrs next semester. I didn't mention it before but i changed majors a while back. I'm an interdisiplinary humanities major now. Don't ask, I have no idea what I can do but I now have the desire to be either a journalist or a writer. I am going to move on campus for the semester. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm nervous and excited at the same time about it. anyway later...it's 410 am on Christmas eve so Merry Christmas and all that jazz...

Feb 6, 2004 - A year of my life has passed since we last spoke. It wasn't a bad year. I lived on-campus last spring. My roomates were alright. I was also on the Voyager staff for the fall semester as commentary editor and I FINALLY graduated.

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