Training with a Difficult Partner
(Extracted from Aikido-L)
Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 12:21:03 +0800
From: Aylwin Tan
Subject: Taking control of the mat
----- Original Message -----
> You probably aren't going to like hearing this any
> more than I did, but my shihan says the people who
> aggravate the fool out of us are the people we most
> need to work with. (Not a direct quote.)With a smile.
> Susan
Naw, that's fine. I try to practice humility so as to be able to accept
criticism from others. But it's just really hard to learn in that instance.
I can't take note of so much at my level. It'll probably be easier if I only
needed to take note of 1 more detail each time I do the technique instead of
all the details the first time I'm doing it. But I get what your shihan is
saying and there's a point to it as well.
Aylwin
"One does not need buildings, money, power, or status to practice the Art of
Peace. Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to
train." -- O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba
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Date: Mon, 29 Apr 2002 22:46:00 -0600
From: Jun Akiyama
Subject: Re: Taking control of the mat
Aylwin Tan wrote:
> Naw, that's fine. I try to practice humility so as to be able to accept
> criticism from others. But it's just really hard to learn in that instance.
> I can't take note of so much at my level.
Then don't (take note of so much). Smile to your partner and say,
"I'm sorry - I appreciate your giving me pointers, but there's just so
much to learn! Can I just practice the moves in silence for a bit?"
Jun
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Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 10:50:51 +0100
From: Ruth Mc William
Subject: Re: Taking control of the mat
--- Aylwin Tan wrote:
> There's a particular lady (6th kyu) who I sometimes
> get to practice with...
SNIP
>... I make it a point to avoid pairing up with her
> when I
> can help it. I just stay
> away from her because it makes me less judgmental on
> her personality and her
> techniques. Hmmm ... I wonder if that's Aikido??
Aylwin, she's probably doing this because she *thinks* it's what she's supposed
to do, and that
it will help others if she does it. I know, I was the world's worst at pointing
out people's mistakes
when I was 5th kyu - I was truly awful! Then I learned better thanks to some
information from my
instructors. What this lady needs is a quiet word from the instructors telling
her to stop doing it,
and why. When she has processed this new information, she'll change her
behaviour.
Nowadays I just chuckle when senior people make mistakes, and that doesn't upset
them so
much! Junior people are the responsibility of the instructor so very little help
is required from me,
I'll occasionally suggest they try something "to make it easier" rather than
pointing out their
mistakes. The only exception to this is when the mistake is dangerous and likely
to cause
damage to me or someone else, then the potential consequences (eg if you try to
throw me with
my arm at this angle it'll probably snap) need pointing out to them. If they
don't pay attention I'll
point it out again, but if they do it 3 times I'll avoid training with them as I
need my arms
functioning properly to work! (No work = no food and no roof over my head).
Fortunately I haven't
met too many of these types and have developed a "radar" for them so I can avoid
them anyway.
I suggest you have a word with your instructors and ask them to speak to this
lady as her
behaviour is annoying and not good for either her learning or anybody else's.
Hopefully this will
be put right.
Good luck!
Ruth (Going nomail for 9 days while visiting Mum in sunny Spain - any replies OL
please!)
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Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 05:35:01 -0700
From: susan dalton
Subject: Re: Taking control of the mat
I taught last night and since my knees don't
particularly like suwariwaza and the rest of me loves
jyuwaza we did about 3 minutes of suwariwaza and 20
minutes of jyuwaza. We had about 3 minutes left of
class and some people had been moving very fast and
hard and stiff, trying mightily to do an impressive
technique and get it right. My husband had dropped my
soon to be 9 year old by the dojo for the last few
minutes of class, so I asked her to come on the mat
and do jyuwaza with me. She just moves with the flow
and doesn't worry about it, or so she always has. She
just rolls and laughs and sees ukemi as play.
Anyway, when we left, she was upset because she hadn't
done everything exactly correctly, she felt like an
outsider, she wasn't sure she liked very many of the
other people, she wasn't sure they liked her, they
were probably all laughing at her when she rolled
funny that one time, they didn't think she knew what
she was doing, they think Ryan is cool and she's
stupid, etc. etc....Sigh. She was articulating the
same old stuff we all have in our heads; I just didn't
expect it to start so young.
I do think doing Aikido (and hopefully talking to
one's mother) gives us the opportunity to work some of
this out. Tanaka Shihan says we should smile at the
people we least like to work with and go up to them,
paying attention to our body language and our words.
We should extend ourselves, approach them first, go
have some tea after class. He said he's been doing
Aikido over 50 years and this is still the most
difficult part, but it's the most important part.
Doing "good" Aikido and being a "good" human being
both rely on our being centered.
Susan
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Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 05:51:17 -0700
From: susan dalton
Subject: Re: Taking control of the mat
--- Katherine Derbyshire wrote:
> From: "susan dalton"
>
> > You probably aren't going to like hearing this any
> > more than I did, but my shihan says the people who
> > aggravate the fool out of us are the people we
> most
> > need to work with. (Not a direct quote.)With a
> smile.
> > Susan
>
> Yeah, that's true. <heavy sigh>
>
> But I'm still going to avoid the person in my dojo
> who, after years of
> sporadic training, still can't take even marginally
> competent ukemi and
> still doesn't have enough situational awareness to
> keep from dropping me
> under someone else's fall.
I see your point and I have to admit I'd probably do
the same. But Tanaka Shihan would say (I think) how
will people such as the one you describe improve if
the people who could teach them all avoid them? My
teachers expect everybody to work with everybody.
Black and brown belts work with the new people and
lower belts. Any problems need to go to the sensei,
who keeps a close eye on practice. If brown belts
seem to be pairing up and leaving newbies to flounder,
Sensei will ask them to split up and work with the new
people.
Susan
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Last updated on 13 Sep 2002