{{Eerie Music}}
A red haired woman is walking down a dark and sinister
looking underground corridor, at the end of it she comes
upon a door with the letters E.R.B. on the top, and a
piece of paper stuck in the middle that says 'Go away!
Nobody's in here but the Bureau's most laughed at!'.
She reluctantly opens the door to find a tall and weird
looking, but yet hadsome man standing beyond it.
MULDER: Hi Scully, come on in.
SCULLY: I got your email, you have something to show me?
MULDER: Do I ever! Have a seat and let me show you something
that will blow... you... away!
Agent Scully rolls her eyes and looks for a seat closest to
the door so she may leave as quickly as possible, and waits
while agent Mulder scrambles to set up his archaic slide
projector and turn off the lights.
MULDER: Do you remember reading about that Mars probe which was
said to have disapeared and was considered lost?
SCULLY: Yes, of course, billions of dollars in sensitive equipment
were lost in that project, it was suppose to activate
itself when it reached Mars, but it failed, it didn't
respond to any control messages sent, and it was filed
as an L.I.S.... Lost In Space.
MULDER: Well that's what they told the public, but it's not
entirely true, the truth is the probe did activate itself,
and did take a photograph before it was destroyed by some
alien life on Mars using a ray gun that made all the metal
of the probe disintegrate, and when they saw the photo
that came in, they had to cover it up in order to prevent
a world wide panic.
SCULLY: Aren't you tired of all these conspiracy theories Mulder?
Cause I sure am.
MULDER: Ah! But this time I have definite proof, look at this!
Mulder presses the button on his slide projector, and a
blurry photograph appears on the wall. Mulder adjusts the
picture with the lens of the projector to bring it to a
sharper blurry image.
SCULLY: So? It's a photo of what looks like a boat in a
red desert, are you trying to make me believe that
this was photographed on Mars?
MULDER: Exactly! But take a closer look at the picture, notice
the shadow on the ground? Acording to calculations, this
boat is hundreds of feet in the air!
SCULLY: Mulder! Listen to yourself, you're not making any sense!
A flying boat, in a desert, on Mars? What would be
keeping it up hundreds of feet in the air Mulder,
Helium? Or maybe it's Cavorite?
MULDER: Always the skeptic, hey Scully, never willing to believe,
well I had a portion of this photo enlarged and enhanced,
which proves beyond the doubt that this was not from
Earth. Now take a look at this!
Mulder presses the button on the projector once again to
show a second photograph that is even more blurry than the
last, and tries without success to focus on the photo.
Finally he gives up and with a big grin looks at agent
Scully, obviously expecting some major response.
SCULLY: Yeah, so, what's this suposed to be?
MULDER: Darn it Scully! Even when I show you some indisputable
photographs, you still don't believe it! Look at it,
this is obviously a big black man holding something that
looks like a sword, and this can't be anything else but an
alien. Look at it, it has four arms and it's all green!
SCULLY: Indisputable? Mulder this photo is so blurry that what
I see there, with a lot of imagination I might add, could
be a Mister-T action figure standing beside a modified
Gumby toy! Oh Mulder, this is even more stupid than the
time you came up with that Moon Men invasion conspiracy
theory, hell, it almost beats that hollow Earth one! or
how about that tribe of lost samu...
Mulder madly switches the projector off and the lights on,
and then goes to sit at his desk pouting. Scully, felling a
bit sorry for being so mean, sighs and approaches to sit
near him.
SCULLY: Listen Mulder, even if this was remotely true, what do you
want us to do about it, croak and hope to get reincarnated
on Mars? We don't have rocket ships to go and investigate
this you know. We could try wishing ourselves there but I
doubt very much that will work. And where did you get
that photograph anyway?
Seeing a somewhat renewed interest from Scully, Mulder
starts scambling across his desk for the file on the case.
He finds it, and pulls out an evelope.
MULDER: We received an anonymous letter a few days ago so we don't
know who sent it yet, but I had top specialist in the
field investigating and we were able to narrow it down
quite a bit. Although the stamped mark on the letter was
smudged, we were able to discover that it came from
California, and we did find a Blond hair in the letter,
and from that we discovered that it belongs to a woman.
And look, in the letter she says that this was an OFFICIAL
N.A.S.A. top secret photo. Official, Scully!
SCULLY: So basically what you're saying is that you've narrowed
it down to blond female in California who can spell the
word official?
MULDER: And who knows about NASA.
SCULLY: And who knows about NASA, yes. Now is that all you've
got Mulder, cause it ain't much to go on.
MULDER: Well I had my friends at Tarzan look into the Mars/Alien
connection...
SCULLY: Tarzan?
MULDER: Yes, T.A.R.Z.A.N., Terrestrial Anthropoids Researching
Zealous Alien Nuts.
SCULLY: I see, obvious friends of yours, go on.
MULDER: Well, they've been monitoring the Internet and discovered
that there is a group of people who talk about Mars and
aliens all the time, have you ever heard of... Erbcof?
SCULLY: Bless you.
MULDER: No, no, E.R.B.C.O.F, Extrinsic Rendezvous Bulletin for
Communicating with Outerspace Friends.
SCULLY: You just made that up!
MULDER: Did not! It an actual group, and they discuss aliens
on Mars all the time.
Mulder takes out a manila pouch from the file and pull a
thick pile of folded computer paper out of it. He lets it
drop to the floor while holding the first page, unfolding
it into a lengthy scroll.
MULDER: Here are some very incriminating transcripts Scully, look
at this word, "Kaor", it's not any word I could find on
Earth. And what about this discussion about a 'Pinback'
transaction with an elderly woman, it's obviously some
alien technology, she was even offered Barsoomian money
for it, I've checked Scully, there is no such thing as
Barsoomian money, not on 'Earth' anyway. Don't you see
Scully, this is real proof, and...
Agent Scully at this point gets up and slowly walks toward
the door while rubbing her temples. Concerned, Mulder also
get up to intercept her before she leaves.
MULDER: What's wrong Scully?
SCULLY: I have a splitting headache.
MULDER: You sure get those very often... you know, you should have
that checked out by one of our specialists, it could be an
alien implant.
SCULLY: I don't really get them very often Mulder, I only get
them when I'm around you.
MULDER: That's it! It makes perfect sense, 'they' have implanted
a device in your brain in order to prevent you from seeing
things my way by giving you pain whenever you are around
me. Don't you see how this all fits Scully, it's a
conspiracy against me!
Scully keeps on walking out the door and closes it behind
her, felling quite relieved to be out of that office and
away from agent Mulder.
MULDER: Poor Scully, if only I could make her understand. Wait
a minute... I don't think I have ever seen Scully and an
Alien at the same time! hummmm.
{{Eerie Music}}
END