The Games of Saberhaven
Dalkar vs. Dor-Die
        The tattooed unkempt mountain dwarf named Dalkar steps into the arena at one end. He is chanting insulting duergar comments and holds a metal bound bucket filled with rocks. At the other end of the arena, a dusky grey dwarf with black eyes, wielding a longsword walks in. The signal to begin is given and the words "Dreuger boogers yes you are, eat my bucket Har, har, har" "When your brains spill on the ground, on your corpse I'll pound and pound" echo across the arena floor from Dalkar as he continues chanting. Dalkar stays where he is, ready to hit the duergar if he comes in range of his bucket. Dor-Die, on the other hand, fades from view. A look of mischief is the last thing visible in his eyes.
        After seeing Dor-Die disappear, Dalkar hops up and down with glee and screams "I'm It!!!!! I'm It!!!!!, I'm Iarlllgggg!!??!@#$%**" As the foam starts appearing in Dalkar's mouth, and the words become unintelligible, Dalkar charges across the arena floor toward Dor-Die's starting area. His bucket is swings wildly on his way over. He arrives at Dor-Die's starting point and screams in incoherent rage as his enemy is not nearby.
        "Duregar Boogars!!!!!" Yells the incoherent dwarf, bucket of rocks still grasped in his hands as he spins in a circle. Then it happens. A large noise and a cloud of dust come from the side of the arena, about 50 feet from Dalkar's current position. In Dalkar's current state of frenzy, he runs/spins over in that direction to attack whatever made that noise. The fact that a 40' tall Dor-Die appears swinging an equally long sword down upon Dalkar does little to sway the much shorter Dalkar from his course. The sword divots the ground where the spinning Dalkar used to be, and just after the sword missed, Dalkar reaches the foot of the Dor-Die giant and hits it with his bucket of rocks. Dor-Die curses in pain as the bucket painfully stubs the toe of the giant. In retaliation, Dor-Die brings his longsword down again, and this time, the large sword takes a large piece of Dalkar with it.
        Dalkar pauses chanting long enough to exclaim "Was that suppose to hurt? Hehehehehehe" He then continues his Droogar Boogar chant and drops his Bucket. As Dor-Die swings his sword down again to finish Dalkar, the crazy chanting dwarf punches at the sword with his glove-nails to parry the blow. Just from the sheer weight of the sword, Dalkar doesn't end up deflecting the blow, rather he ends up pushing himself away from the point of impact of the sword. The ground divots where the 40' long sword strikes. Dor-Die quickly follows up with another strike, and again, Dalkar's punch moves him out of harms way. Even in Dalkar's frenzied state, he realizes that disarming a 40' sword would be a futile gesture, so instead he punches the giant duergar in the foot with his glove nail. The point of the spike on his glove sinks into the giant's foot causing a bellow of pain in an octave unusually high for one so big.
        Dor-Die, cautious of the many pins being repeatedly stuck in his foot tries to avoid the tenacious (albeit stark raving mad) Dalkar. In his haste to swing his sword down and destroy the annoying insect, Dor-Die stumbles and his foot comes out of his boot. His leg goes flying in the air, but he does manage to keep his balance. Dalkar, seeing his target still alive rushes forward and manages to plunge his glove nails into the foot he can reach. Dor-Die screams in incoherent rage.
        Again, the glove nails strike home as Dalkar's assault continues. Echoing over the cheers of crowd, the gibbering of "This little piggy went to market" can be heard from insane spinning tumbling dwarf. Dor-Die tries again and again to slash his 40' sword through the annoying Dalkar, but Dalkar's speed and skill (aided by his completely unpredictable attacking style) prevents the sword from actually hitting the crazy dwarf. Dalkar keeps punching the blade as it comes near him, and pushing himself out of the way of the force of the blow.
        "Droogar Boogars!!!!" screams the dwarf as he punches himself out of the way of yet another attack. "Droogar Boogars!!!!" he wails. This time however, Dalkar seems so caught up in screaming that he fails to position himself correctly to intercept the incoming sword swipe from Dor-Die. Dor-Die's aim however left much to be desired as the sword swipe skips off of the ground in front of Dalkar and over Dalkar's head. Dalkar swings at it in any case just to be sure it wasn't going to bite him. "And this little piggy got drunk at a bar!". Yells Dalkar as his tiny glove nails bring even more tears of pain to the mighty Dor-Die.
        The rhythm continues as Dalkar easily dances around Dor-Die's frantic swings, punching himself off the blade, out of harms way. The only thing that really changes as Dalkar moves in to strike Dor-Die's feet, is the insult which precedes Dalkar's fist. "And this little piggy ate roast beef!" is heard just before another painful yelp from the hopping Dor-Die.
        The blood is pouring freely from the feet of Dor-Die. Dor-Die's swings are ever frantic as Dalkar continues his verbal and physical assault. Twice more Dor-Die's blade is avoided, once more the glove nails of Dalkar go into the foot of the giant duergar. Dor-Die's face is looking pale as if he is on the edge of consciousness.
        Again, the massive blade does not connect with the agile dwarf. The arena will need repairs after the number of divots placed in it by the 40' duergar. The blood running freely from the wounds in his feet has made little troughs of red, like scars cutting across the arena floor.
        "One more little piggy to go!" echo across the arena as Dalkar winds up.
        The pain of another foot strike becomes too much for the duergar, and Dor-Die falls and shrinks at the same time. As Dor-Die's body falls to the dirt, Dalkar, still in his rage, leaps at the body to continue shredding it. Although this is in direct violation of the arena rules, Dalkar is in no state to remember rules. He does however strike an unseen barrier on his way to the duergar's body. This prevents him from moving closer than 3 feet from the body.
        Dalkar continues to bash his fists on the barrier between him and Dor-Die as the arena priests tend to the fallen duergar. Time passes, and finally Dalkar's rage subsides. "You guys need any help with that body?" he says with sarcastic glee. "I know a good dung heap just outside of town that takes Druegar. Like my Ma always says, the only good Druegar is a dead Druegar. And the only thing worse than a Druegar is a Derro." He then giggles psychotically and turns to the arena Clerics And says "I'll buy you guys a beer if ya' heal me up." The priests stare at you for several minutes to see if you're going to flip out again, then a man in leather armor comes up to you and lays his hands on you. Several rounds later, your damage is healed.
        Dalkar then staggers his butt off the field.
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