Disclaimer: Star Trek and Star Trek: Voyager are the property of Paramount Pictures and Viacom. I make no money off of this story what so ever. No copyright infringement intended.
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Dedicated to Spif, whose insane ideas made this story possible.
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Together, Yet Alone
by Tamar Richardson
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"Chris? Where are you?" Natasha called. She look through the Captain's and First Officer's joint quarters. Christopher enjoyed playing hide and seek with her. In fact, he enjoyed it too much. "Christopher Thomas Chakotay-Janeway, you get get out here this minute!" she threatened. Again, nothing. There was only one option left open to her: bribery, "Okay Chris, if you want to stay up here while we go down to the planet and have fun..."
"I can always play with Owen instead," a four year old voice piped.
She made the conclusion that Chris was somewhere in the main living area. So, while Natasha began looking in the living area, she answered him, "No you can't. Owen's already on the planet."
Christopher crawled out from beneath the couch, and extended his arms (meaning that, while he was willing to be found, Chris still wanted more). Thus, Natasha did the only she could, she picked him. Younger brothers can be such nuisance at times, she thought.
**********
"I'm glad you two finally decided to join us," Kathryn mused. She was sitting on a rather large picnic cloth, surrounded by an equally large picnic lunch. The tall grass blew softly in the wind, which brought a honey sweet smell along with it. Natasha's eyes scanned the horizon, looking for the mountain Naomi had chattered about. She found it. It was huge, marvelous, and just plain wonderful. The Captain had found a magnificent place to take shore leave.
Chris ran from where they had just materialized into his mother's awaiting arms. "Were you playing with Natasha again?" she said playfully. He nodded.
Natasha picked up her hiking pack that had been transported along with them. "Where's Naomi? she asked. It was bad enough to be fifteen and lost in the Delta Quadrant. It was bad enough to have lived the life she had led so far. But to have to be apart of a family she didn't have any love for was unbearable. It had been three years since she come upon this horrid ship, had lost her mother and met the father she hadn't seen since she was three herself. Yes, she thought, it would be best if I didn't stick around.
"I believe Naomi is at the base of the mountain," Kathryn's voice interrupted Natasha's thoughts. "I believe Owen's with her," Janeway added in a wink, wink, nudge, nudge manner. It was common knowledge that Natasha had a crush on the young Torres-Paris boy. Yes, he was less than half her age, but you could never tell by looking or talking to him (least not since the incident on ZyMir that had accelerated his growth).
"Owen?" Chris chirped.
Here comes Chris to ruin the day, thought Natasha.
Chris stared at the Captain (not Natasha) with his best "cute" face and asked, "Can I go, too?"
"Of course, sweety," she replied.
"Kath," Natasha interjected, "he can't go."
"And why not?"
Because he's annoying and would just get in the way, "It's too dangerous. He's only four years old-"
"Owen's only five."
"It's not the same. Owen's different."
"Tasha," Natasha shuttered at that. She hated people who called her by that thrice-damned name. "he'll be fine," Kathryn finished. The Captain had drawn the line. There was no way out.
"C'mon," she signaled for Chris to follow her. And so, they left to climb the mountain.
**********
"Let's take a break here," Naomi suggested. They had been hiking for two hours straight. Natasha sat down on a rock (right under one of the many trees), swung her pack in front of her, and took out a hydrobag. She gulped down the water inside. It seemed to be getting more hot and humid as the day went on. Natasha didn't really care, though. It was beautiful. Somewhere in the distance, water was trickling down a waterfall. This was one of the moments Natasha felt at peace. The moments were too few and too far apart. The atmosphere on Voyager didn't permit for such tranquility.
She caught Owen staring at her. Natasha smiled at him, and he smiled back. Naomi, always the observer, took action, "C'mon, Chris, let's go see the waterfall." She took his hand led him further up the trail.
When the two of them were out of sight, Natasha turned to Owen, "They should be gone for awhile." It's so odd being alone with him, she thought. Natasha thought back to when she had first been introduced to Owen. He was two (it had been before the accelerated aging process, so he looked two). He had been so adorable then. He had come up to her, tugged on her pant leg, and asked if she was going to be living on Voyager. When Natasha had answered in the affirmative, a huge grin appeared on his face, and he said he would like. So innocent then. Now, she wasn't quite sure how to think of him. Yes, the aliens had accelerated his growth, his maturity, and his intelligence level. Yet, he was still five years old...
Natasha looked over in Owen's direction. He was staring up at the sky. His bumpy brow, hinting his Klingon heritage, was furrowed. "Whatcha doing? she asked. Immediately, she scolded herself for using such childish language. How could she make a good impression on him when she was action like a two year old?
"I'm looking at clouds," Owen responded.
She went over and laid down beside. He had told her once that, when he was stressed, he would go to the Holodeck and turn on a program that consisted totally of staring at clouds. He claimed it was quite relaxing.
"Hey," she pointed at a cloud, "that one looks like a Horta."
Owen nodded in agreement. The two of them continued to look up at the sky, occasionally pointing out a cloud that resembled something.
Natasha, antsy for a conversation with Owen, turned to him, "Ever thought of what you'd do if Voyager doesn't get home within the next couple of years?"
"How do you mean?" His attention was still fixated on the clouds.
"Like what department you'd work in on Voyager."
"Oh," he paused, "I haven't really thought about it. I always assumed we'd find a wormhole or something beforehand." Finally, he turned to look at her with those hypnotizing, blue eyes, "Have you thought about it?"
"A little," she responded. "I was thinking about working in Sickbay. The Doctor isn't as bad as everyone claims he is. He's rather sweet. Damn, she thought, I should be directing compliments towards Owen, not the Doctor.
He picked a small, random, leafed plant from the ground and started twirling it between his fingers. "Listen," he said nervously. "I was wondering if you- I mean if you want to-" he stuttered. He took a deep breath in, "Would you like to have dinner on the Holodeck sometime?" The Holodeck was always the one, single, private place on Voyager for its children. Whether they wished to engross themselves in cloud-watching or go on a date, it was the only place free from the eyes of grown-ups.
"Of course," Natasha replied, "Tomorrow night?"
"Sure."
Natasha could hardly believe it. Their first date was tomorrow night. What would she wear? How should she act? Nervousness and sheer delight, mixed in as one emotion, flooded her system. It was ruined, of course, by Chris pouncing on top of her.
**********
"C'mon," Naomi encouraged, "I can see the summit." Several more hours had past since their first break. It was getting dark. They would have to beam up, rather than making the decent themselves.
"It's beautiful," she exclaimed. The system's soul sun had just began to duck behind the horizon. The clouds had become a marvelous blend of orange, yellow, pink, and red. No artist could have painted a more magnificent scene.
Naomi heard a beeping behind her. She spun around to find Owen with a tricorder in his hand, scanning the area. "Owen! What are you doing?!" Right now, she hated him for ruining the moment. But then, Naomi and Owen had never really gotten along well.
"While you were busy being infatuated with the sunset, I heard thunder
off in the distance." He tapped some buttons on the tricorder. "Just as I
thought," he said, "It's an electrical storm." He tapped his combadge, "Owen
to Voyager." Nothing. He tried again, and there was still nothing. "The storm
must be blocking communications.
"I saw a cave about a hundred or so meters back," Natasha interjected.
Owen nodded, "Let's go."
**********
By the time they reached the cave the ion storm was in full force. The wind was blowing Natasha's long, raven hair in all sorts of directions.
The moment they were in the cave, Naomi lit a fire. It was cold. Meanwhile, Owen tried his combadge again. "Owen to Voyager. Owen to Voyager."
"Forget it, Owen," Natasha interrupted, playfully, "We're just going to have to wait till the storm is over." She moved towards the side of the cave in order to rest her back against it. Her back hadn't been the same since the battle where Starfleet captured her and the other Maquis members.
"You can't blame me for trying," he retorted.
There was a loud burst of thunder that seemed like it was almost on top of them. A whimpering came from the back of the cave. Confused, Owen looked at Natasha. "Chris", she mouthed.
"Hey, Chris," Owen called to the back of the cave, "You scared?"
"No," he whimpered.
Not believing him (of course), Owen half-walked, half-crawled toward Chris (the cave was too small for anyone but Chris to stand upright). Natasha smiled. They were practically brothers. In fact, they were closer to being brothers than she and Chris were to being sister and brother.
Abruptly, the cave violently shook. It had been hit by lighting. Rocks fell from the ceiling. Naomi's fire was put out. Natasha was knocked forward. Towards the back of the cave she heard a yelping, but was too busy trying to keep herself from being hurt.
Eventually, the shaking stopped. A cover of dust thickened the air. Natasha coughed as it invaded her lungs. She looked over at Naomi, who was rubbing the back of her head. "Are you okay?" Natasha asked.
"Yeah," she replied, "it's just a little bump."
Seeing that Naomi was okay, Natasha crawled to the back of the cave to check on Owen and Chris. "Owen?" she called. "Chris?" There was no response from either of them. Frantically, she searched the floor with her hands. "Naomi," she yelled, "do you have an illumination band with you?"
In reply, light filled the cavern. Natasha couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't do anything. A pile of rocks lay before her. And, sticking out of that pile, was a hand. Owen's hand.
Naomi came over and started frantically digging them out. Natasha's paralysis soon stopped, and she was also able to help dig them out. It took them only a minute to free the boys, a minute that seemed like an eternity. Natasha got out her tricorder and scanned them. "Naomi, get the med-kit," she ordered. It didn't matter that it probably wouldn't be able to save them. She lack both the experience and the medical equipment that was required to help them. But that sure as hell wasn't going to stop her from trying.
The light in the cave began to change. It was no longer pure white light. There were many colors now mixed in. It was like being inside a rainbow. "Naomi, quit playing with the light," Natasha ordered.
"I'm not," Naomi replied in awe.
Natasha spun around just in time see a spinning ball of smoke transform into a humanoid form. The humanoid was female with curly blonde hair. Natasha immediately grabbed her phaser, and pointed it at the being. "What the hell do you want?"
The being put up her hands in a gesture of peace. "I mean you no harm," she said in a wispy voice. She was pretty small for a lifeform of her power.
"I don't have time for this," Natasha exclaimed. She put down her phaser, and went back to her desperate work of at least keeping the two boys alive, until they could get to Voyager's Sickbay. Unfortunately, their lifesigns were fading fast.
"Do you think you can save them?" she asked.
"Can you?" Natasha retorted.
"I cannot save them separately," she answered, "They can't survive alone."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Natasha," Naomi interrupted, "I think she knows something. I think she knows how to save them." She began to back away, giving the being room. Reluctantly, Natasha did the same.
The woman moved towards the boys. She kneeled down inbetween them. She placed one of her hands on Owen, and then she placed the other on Chris. She began revert into her colorful smoke-like existence. She swirled around and around them, until... *ZAP!* The smoke mysteriously disappeared, leaving a single figure.
Before Natasha could demand what had happened, a transporter beam engulfed them.
Several minutes later, another smoke-creature swirled into the cave. It materialized into a woman with long, brown hair. She called for the first woman to come out. After a while, she did.
"We have to go," the brunette said.
"They've grown so much," the blonde said, "I barely recognized Naomi. And none of them recognized me."
"Naomi was the only one who's met you, and she was too young then."
"I suppose you're right, Kaela."
"I am," she answered, "C'mon, Kes, time to go."
**********
Natasha sat and worried. She and the others were in Sickbay, waiting for some word on his condition. His. She didn't even know was in there. Chris? Owen? Both? Neither? A thousand questions bobbed in her mind, and there was not an answer to be found.
Finally, the Doctor came over and talked to them. Natasha's brain barely registered it. She only heard some key phrases: Chris and Owen's DNA, subconscious, and memories were merging; have become one being; Chris's personality is dominating over Owen's; Owen's conscious will die; not fully joined. The conversation suddenly stopped. They were all staring at Natasha. "Wha-?" she half-asked.
"Tasha," the Doctor repeated. Natasha didn't bother to correct him, though. "Chris was asking for you."
"Chris?" her brain had been slowed by the trauma.
"Yes."
It was all very slow. Janeway, Chakotay, Torres, Paris, and Naomi all left. The Doctor turned himself off. All the while, Natasha sluggishly crept toward the bio-bed where (what looked like) an eight year old boy sat. Chris's eyes were know a gorgegous blue. At least, it was suppose to be Chris.
"Hi," she greeted.
He nodded back, "Owen still exists inside me, separately. He wants to talk to you."
Tears had already begun their steady decent down Natasha's face. "You sound so grown-up, Chris," she said sadly. Grown-up, she thought, because of Owen.
"Owen was always smart," he replied. Very slowly, the boy before her changed his stance. He sat up straighter. Owen always did have good posture.
His hand came up to her cheek and brushed the tears away. "Don't cry Natasha," he cooed.
"Owen?"
"Yes?"
"I don't know what to say. I'll never be able to talk to you again."
"Chris will still be here. He'll have all of my memories."
"It's not the same," she protested. She couldn't keep the tears back any longer. Natasha was never good at hiding her feelings. Owen had constantly teased her about it.
"I guess," he said, interrupting her thoughts, "I won't be able to make our dinner date tomorrow." She chuckled. Leave it to Owen to make her smile. "But," he continued, "I would like one thing before I go." Owen pulled her chin toward him and lightly kissed her. He pulled away. "Goodbye, Natasha," he whispered. Slowly, he laid down and fell asleep. Chris was the only one who lived there now.
**********
"I thought I locked the Holodeck doors," Natasha said to the figure standing above her.
"You did," Chakotay answered, "I overrode the lock."
"Figures," she mumbled to herself.
Chakotay sat down beside her. She had stretched herself out on the Holodeck floor. She was looking up at something. What she was looking at, he couldn't tell. "Hey, kiddo, what are you looking at?"
"Clouds."
There was a long, awkward pause. She didn't want to talk, Chakotay knew that, but Natasha needed to. Owen's "death" (as it was being called) had affected her too much. "Chris has decided on a new name."
"Oh?" she said, mildly interested.
"Christopher Owen Edward Chakotay Thomas Janeway Torres Paris."
"It's long."
"He wanted to include both his and Owen's complete names."
"That's nice," she remained distant.
"Dammit, Natasha," Chakotay yelled, "You need to talk about this."
"Why?" she said, sitting up, "What's there to talk about? Do you want me to talk about how Owen was the only person I had ever loved? Do you want me to admit my anger for having to spend the next 20 years completely alone? Is that what you want?" she yelled.
"It's a start," he responded, "But I want you to know that you're not alone."
"I am, too. You have Kath. Tom has B'Elanna. Even Naomi still has Chris. I have no one. There aren't any other children onboard and the officers are all too old," she paused, "Please, just leave me alone." He complied and left. They were both right. She had the whole crew to be friends, but she pushed people away. Because of this, Natasha was alone.
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