I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT AMATERASU OKASAMI HAS NOW RISEN A CERTAIN AMOUNT ABOVE THE HORIZON, BUT SINCE WE'RE BACK IN EUROPE, I SUPPOSE THE HONOR HAD BETTER GO TO APOLLO. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY GOOD LOUIS XVI (THE SUN KING) JOKES? SCENE: THE BACK SEAT OF LUCARD'S LIMOUSINE, JUST PULLING OUT OF THE MANSION GROUNDS.

Lucard: I'd like to have your word that you won't run off.

Chris: (defiantly) We're not promising you anything!

Lucard: (shrugs) As you wish. I merely thought it might be easier on you to cooperate. And perhaps less expensive to myself. This way, I'll have to pay for more gas.

SOPHIE AND CHRIS SIT, SULLENLY SILENT.

Lucard: Trust me, children. You'll enjoy today.

Sophie: I wish we could trust you.

Lucard: Have I ever lied to you?

HAS HE? I CAN'T REMEMBER.

Sophie: Probably.

Lucard: I haven't.

Sophie: What about the time you sent us on a wild goose chase, digging up treasure that wasn't even there?

Lucard: (smiles secretly) I don't believe I was even talking to you at that time, much less lying to you. You may call it deceit if you insist.

THEY CAN'T SAY THAT HE'S LYING HERE, ALTHOUGH THEY DON'T CONCEDE THE TRUTH. THEY JUST KEEP QUIET. LUCARD LETS THEM, AND THE DRIVE CONTINUES IN SILENCE. PASSAGE OF TIME. AS THEY APPROACH THE WALK LEADING TO THE DOORS OF THE LUCARD INDUSTRIES BUILDING:

Lucard: I am trustworthy in my own fashion. I always keep my promises. Try me. I will prove it to you, as long as it does not inconvenience me.

CHRIS AND SOPHIE ARE THINKING VERY QUICKLY NOW, AS THEY GET OUT OF THE CAR. THEY BOTH WANT A PROMISE TO LET THEM GO, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXTRACT ONE.

Lucard: Obviously you know what you want. So do I. Think this over: I will ask a favor of each of you. If you do this favor, then I will let you go within a week. I promise that.

Sophie: What if we don't do it?

Lucard: Then you'll be my guests until I have another favor. But I think you'll cooperate, because you want to go home to poor old Gustav as soon as possible, don't you?

LUCARD OPENS THE DOOR AND BOWS, STANDING ASIDE FOR THEM TO ENTER BEFORE HIM, COINCIDENTALLY KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM WHILE BEING POLITE.

Lucard: Don't lag, now. I am a busy man, and I have much to do today. You want to cooperate. I don't want to have to tie you up and stuff you into a closet. (he can't set the pace from behind without pushing, so he signals an employee to follow and steps in front, almost marching to the elevator) Have you the tickets, Harold?

Harold: Yes, sir.

HAROLD BRINGS THREE SLIPS OUT OF HIS JACKET POCKET AND PASSES THEM OVER LUCARD'S SHOULDER. LUCARD SECURES THEM INSIDE HIS COAT.

Lucard: Is there anything that has not been cleared from my schedule?

THEY ENTER THE ELEVATOR. ALL FACE FRONT EXCEPT HAROLD, WHO FACES LUCARD.

Harold: The Bank of America representative gave us some trouble, so we're paying hotel costs for the next week.

Lucard: I'll be sure to tell him personally how much I appreciate his troubles, going above and beyond the call of duty.

Harold: All meetings have been rescheduled, and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you what paperwork is most important.

Lucard: (smugly) No, I don't need anyone to tell me anything.

Chris: What, you do all your own spying and research? You can't be in two places at once, can you?

Lucard: No, Christopher. Remarkable I may be, but I have yet to discover this most useful talent. Until then, and even after, I know when it is wise to speak, and when it is wise to keep silent.

THE ELEVATOR ARRIVES AT THE TOP FLOOR, AND THEY DISEMBARK WITHOUT HAROLD. LUCARD NODS TO HIS SECRETARY AND RECEIVES SOME MAIL FROM HER, THEN LEADS HIS SMALL PROCESSION INTO HIS OFFICE.

Lucard: If it isn't completely out of your ken, Christopher, I would like you to sit (points to a chair before the desk) and keep your thoughts to yourself while I take care of some minor details. Miss Metternich, I trust to your discretion.

Chris: (under his breath) Yeah, sure you trust Sophie. Don't think I don't see what you're doing, you . . .

LUCARD GRABS CHRIS BY THE SHOULDERS, CONDUCTS HIM OVER TO THE DEEP LEATHER CHAIR, AND FORCEFULLY SHOVES HIM DOWN INTO IT.

Lucard: I devoutly hope it will not become necessary to gag you. You would look ludicrous, and I would do my best to make you feel ludicrous as well.

Sophie: This makes no sense.

Lucard: Indulge me, my dear. There is little harm you can do at the moment, and I do not want to leave you alone again, so it makes perfect sense to me. (he sits and becomes thoroughly engrossed in his work)

SOPHIE PARTS THE WINDOW BLINDS A LITTLE AND PEEKS OUT. CHRIS AND SOPHIE'S EYES MEET, THEN TRAVEL TO THE DOOR. THERE'S NO GUARANTEE IT WOULD OPEN FOR THEM, AND EVEN IF THEY GOT OUT, THEY'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH TEN FLOORS OF LUCARD'S EMPLOYEES.

Lucard: (without looking up) Running, while good for the health over the long run, might prove to be very bad for the health in immediate terms.

Sophie: We're not going to stop thinking about it.

Lucard: You may think as you wish for now. You will not, however, try again.

Sophie: (hoping for a better explanation) So . . . I guess you don't want us for the same thing as you said you wanted us last night.

Lucard: (briefly looks up, slightly puzzled, then down) . . . Ah. Conversation. I am never too busy for an intelligent, pleasant, and well-mannered conversation. The three qualifications are all very good reasons that Christopher should remain with a closed mouth or the vocal chords of a giraffe until such a time as his education has been vastly improved.

Sophie: Oh.

CHRIS MUTELY STEAMS. SOPHIE WOULD OFFER SYMPATHY, BUT SHE'S BUSY TRYING TO WORK LUCARD AROUND, AND SO HAS A CHARACTER TO ESTABLISH. WELL, TRYING TO TRY, ANYWAY.

Lucard: Sophie, do you know anything about business?

SOPHIE DOES NOT ANSWER.

Lucard: Your school covered nothing?

Sophie: I've had a couple of economics courses.

Lucard: Then tell me what you think of this. (stands and brings a paper to where she is by the window. She takes it tentatively and looks at it)

Sophie: I don't see . . .

Lucard: (moving behind her) Look closer.

Sophie: (edging away and turning to keep him from getting all the way behind her) No, really, we've never covered anything this advanced. I have no idea what these graphs mean.

Lucard: Very well. (nods and moves back to his desk) Sophie, my dear, what does it mean when a person implies mind control, but has no such abilities?

Sophie: (thinks first) Deceit? Outright lying? Maybe he has some sort of object that does it for him. But can't you . . .

Lucard: I can, under certain circumstances. I refer to another personage, which is nothing to concern you.

Chris: Are you sure about that?

Lucard: I suppose I was not clear enough in expressing my desire to work with peace from you. (presses an intercom) Please bring some duct tape.

THE DOORS QUICKLY ADMIT THE SECRETARY WITH A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE. LUCARD SMILES, THANKS HER, AND DISMISSES HER, THEN WRAPS THE TAPE SEVERAL TIMES AROUND CHRIS'S HEAD, EASILY IGNORING HIS PHYSICAL PROTESTATIONS.

Lucard: When we leave, I will remove it. Until then, you will have to decide if you want me to bind your limbs or not, and act accordingly.

Sophie: (very unnerved) Why are you letting me talk?

Lucard: You do not insult my intelligence and flout manners with such regularity, Mademoiselle. Furthermore, you are far more gratifying to talk to.

HE STARES AT HER UNTIL SHE SAYS:

Sophie: Thank you?

Lucard: You are entirely welcome.

Sophie: What now?

Lucard: Now? (sets the pen down) I have finished, so it is time for you to find out what my surprise is.

Sophie: But . . . why did you do that to Chris if we were going to leave so soon?

Lucard: To make a point. Come. Let us not waste time.

~

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