This is a vignette I came up with in the hours between 1am to 2am -- that explains the terrible title, at any rate. It probably counts as an answer to the Back to Basics challenge, but it doesn't actually take place in the Subreality Cafe. Disclaimers are at the end of the story.

I'd like to dedicate this story to Rossi and Phil. You'll soon see why. *smirk*

"That's insane!"

"Stereotypical much, Scully?"

"Is it my fault Chris Carter turned me into a skeptical parrot?" The red-haired former FBI agent grimaced as she sipped a cup of cold coffee. "My point still stands. Any reasonable person would agree you're in dire need of a sense of self-preservation."

"I was bored." Wes Janson shrugged, giving her his best devil-may-care smile. "You can take a starfighter pilot out of the cockpit, but you can't keep him away from trouble."

Dana Scully rolled her eyes. "Obviously. Should I paint Sabretooth's silhoutte on your rear? I wouldn't want to deprive you from claiming a kill," she added sarcastically.

He batted his eyelashes coquettishly. "Only if you'll show me your tattoo."

"Keep dreaming, Janson."

"Believe me, I am." A grin spread over his face, even as his eyes took on a wistful expression. "Just last night--"

"I don't think I want to hear this," she muttered. "Keep your eyes on the warehouse."

Janson's demeanor immediately turned business- like, and he trained a pair of night vision binoculars at the entrance of the large building. "No sign of activity," he reported, with more than a trace of disgust. "Looks like we got a bad tip."

"I'm beginning to think so, too," Scully agreed, glancing at her watch. "Another thirty minutes to go. Who has the next shift?"

"McQueen and Pezzini." He elaborated, "Odo transferred to the Shantytown precinct while we were working that Le Beau case. I heard the Lieutenant twisted some arms to get her into the slot."

Scully smiled, not taking her gaze off the warehouse. "That should be interesting."

"The philosopher-soldier and the Mystic Cop of New York," he snickered. Janson had been meticulous in his "research" into Earth's pop culture, much to her occasional annoyance. "Sounds like a holomovie."

"Directed by Akira Kurosawa."

"Who?"

"Never mind." Scully suddenly leaned forward, narrowing her eyes. "Heads up, Janson. Someone's trying to get into the building."

Janson was already looking through the binoculars, and moments later he nodded sharply. "It's our target," he confirmed. "Sith, he didn't even try to disguise himself."

His partner merely raised an eyebrow in response, occupied with her walkie-talkie. "Control, this is Scully," she spoke rapidly. "We have the angst dealer, send reinforcements."

"Scully, this is Control. Keep close to him, but do not engage. Reinforcements in ten minutes."

"Understood." She unholstered her gun, indicating that Janson should follow her lead. "Let's go."

He withdrew his blaster, moving stealthily behind her. "Who would sell angst on Christmas Eve?" he whispered, disbelief clear in his tone.

"You don't have much experience with Christmas, do you?" Scully asked wryly. "Ask the Writers about it sometime."

Janson grinned. "After we get the son of a Hutt."

"I'm with you."

THE END

Disclaimer: Subreality was created by Kielle. I don't know who first wrote the Subreality PD, but Phil Foster's the one who created the Angst Squad (and wrote Scully into it, too). Shantytown was discovered by Seraph.

Scully ("X-Files") belongs to Chris Carter/FOX, while Wes Janson and all Star Wars-related stuff belong to George Lucas/Lucasfilm. McQueen ("Space: Above and Beyond") is owned by Glen Morgan and James Wong, Pezzini ("Witchblade") belongs to Image Comics and Odo ("Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") is owned by Paramount. Sabretooth and Le Beau are the property of Marvel Comics. Chris Carter and the late Akira Kurosawa belong to themselves.