Quietly falls the snow

by KazeRogue

Disclaimer: As always, none of this is mine, it's Marvels, I just borrow the characters without permission. I don't have any money at all, so don't dare to sue me!

Note: If you don't know it by now, I'm German, but I write in English nonetheless. This is the result, but don't blame me.
I was very depressed when I wrote this story (while a German lesson, no wonder it's that sad...), and I know you'll hate me for what I did to Rogue & Remy, but no flames please, I love them too, I was just in that mood...
By the way, it's set after #350. Anything after it has been ignored.

Thanks to:
- Cat Smith, for helping me with my stories, for encouraging me to write on English and for always being so nice to me J
- Nicole M. aka Seska, for helping me with the last part of the story, for always listening to me while I'm complaining about the struggle of writing fanfics, even though she's no Rogue fan and I'm really getting on her nerves with my fanaticism. You're really one of the best friends I ever had.
- Southern Nightingale, for always keeping me up to date concerning the X-men, for encouraging me (especially concerning 'gamble of life', another fanfic) and for being such a nice person.
- Karen Bruce, aka Roguestar, for inspiration (you have to read her stories!!!) and for being so nice, although I think I'm slowly getting on her nerves, too, concerning my fanaticism about 'matter of pryde'.

This story is dedicated to my dear friend Mirjam, who had a lots of trouble recently. I know this story ain't quite good to cheer someone up, but I hope you know how much I like you and that I'm always there for you. I'm sure it'll get better soon J

Okay that's it. Here's the story (finally):

Rogue looked out of her window and the sky mirrored her mood, grey, cloudy. Who wouldn't be depressed with all this rain during the last few days? She sighed and sipped at her cup of hot café au lait. Her thoughts wandered back to Antarctica, back to Remy - again.

She sighed again and ignored the tears burning in her eyes. They had returned from Antarctica a few days ago and she has been complete schizophrenic ever since. When she was her old self, Rogue, she didn't understand why she had condemned the man she loved to certain death and she was eager to go back to him and make everything alright again. But then, the voice that had spoken through her mouth back there, called to her and leaves her weak-willed and so endless tired.

Remy lifted his face from the floor. He has been crouching towards... towards... he didn't know which direction he headed to, but at least he had to do something. Then, he had collapsed and lain there in the snow for ... he didn't know how long. Snow laid on him like a thick white cover. He managed to extend one hand and rise on his knees. Crouching, he continued his slow, long journey towards the whatever.

What have Ah done? Ah musta been complete crazy. Ah have ta rescue him. Hope the others won't mind, but Ah have ta do this on mah own. It's calm outside, fine. At least the way to the Hangar Bay is clear. Shall Ah ask 'Ro ta join me? Better not. She wasn't really comfortable around me recently. Since Ah killed her best friend. No, shugah, no bitter thoughts anymore. You know what ya have ta do. So do it and stop thinking. There's the blackbird. C'mon girl, ya'll make. Everything's gonna be fine, jus' fine, jus' fine...

Where am I? Why's it dat cold? It has been so warm a few seconds ago, have been at the pool with Roguie. Rogue, mon amour, mon cœur, ma vie, where are ya? You were here with me just a few seconds ago! Where are ya? Why have you left me? Calm down, Remy, ol' cajun, you're dreaming 'course you're dreaming. Look around! But I'm so tired, I can't lift my head! Look around, what do you see? Snow, snow everywhere, everything's white. How should ya've come here in de snow, bête, hein? I can't remember. O' course ya can't, 'coz ya're dreaming. I remember, I was dancing with Rogue through the streets of N'awlins, she still wore her beautiful wedding dress, all white with tiny silk roses. Our marriage has been in real cajun tradition, hell, I even wore a smoking. All our family had been there and I've seen tears of joy in the corner of her brilliant green eyes when she said 'I will' and finally kissed my lips.

Oh, Remy, wake up, I don't wanna dream anymore if reality is so ... perfect. The snow ought to be cold, but I'm warm. Hypothermia! No, I'm warm, 'coz it's warm outside. The snow's just an illusion, a dream. I can't wait to wake up next to Rogue, see her curled up against my body, sleeping peacefully, smiling. Hope dawn comes soon. Why don't I wake up? I don't wanna stay in dis cauchemar any longer. Why don't I wake up? But dis can't be real! I can't remember how I came here! Dis can't be real ... can't be real ... be real ... real ... ROGUE! There she is, standing in front of me on the snow- white floor. So beautiful in her wedding dress, smiling at me lovingly. Mon dieu, how much I love her. I knew this was a nightmare. I'm so glad the memory of our wedding didn't foul me. So glad, mon cœur, so glad. So glad.

Where is he? Ah can't find him. Ah'll nevah find him in this snow- desert. Ah've been searching foah hours now and Ah can't see nothin' but this damned white stuff. What have Ah done? He'll nevah forgive me.. He'll hate me. Ah'm sure he hates me already. At least if he's still alive. Ah have ta find him although nothing's gonna be the same, Ah know. He'll hate me, oh yeah, he hates me.. But Ah have ta save his life nevertheless. And then Ah'll leave the x-men if he wants me to. Ah can understand that he doesn't want ta live in the same house like me anymore. Ah know Ah jus' can't live without him, Ah couldn't deal with living without his love, but Ah have ta try. Ah can hear his voice in my head, making fun of me, telling me ta go home and leave him alone, let him die in peace, without having ta see my face again. Ah can understand him, oh yeah, Ah do. But my guilty consciousness is eating me up. Ah have ta save him, even if it's the last thing Ah do. But where is he?
There!!! There is ... something. Have ta get nearer. It's a person lying in the snow. Please, sweet Lord, please, let it be him, let it be Remy. It's him, Ah'm sure, it has to be him. Ah can see him, his reddish brown, unruly hair, contrasting with the white snow. Let it be him. He lies face down in the snow. Let it be him, let him be alive. An icy storm is shaking me, but Ah have ta get to him. There he is, let it be him. Ah'm stumbling and falling down next ta him. The snow is so cold and he laid here face down so long. He hates me, Ah'm sure. Ah have ta save him, let it be him. Ah'm looking up and turning around the body sprawled on the floor in front of me. Please, please, please ... It's him!!! Oh Lord, sweet Lord, thak you, thank you, thank you so much! But he ain't breathing! Please, be just unconscious. Ah have ta help him ta breath, even if Ah risk ta absorb him again when mah lips touch his ones, but Ah have ta help him ta breath, Ah have ta do it. Why are his lips so cold? Why don't his memories flood mah mind? No, it can't be true, you can't be dead! C'mon, honey, breath, please, PLEASE!!! Aw, Roguie, don' pretend ya care. Oh mah Lord! Again Ah hear his voice in mah head. Am Ah totally crazy? Ah could swear he just opened his eyes and looked at me accusingly. But he ain't breathing and has no pulse. He's dead! Oh yeah? 's dat so, chère? That can't be true, Ah'm just dreaming, bad nightmare, can't be true, can't be true, be true, true. But it IS true, chère, ya killed me. Ya let me die out 'ere in de cold, all's your fault, ya killed me, your fault, killed me. NO, Ah nevah wanted y'all any harm. Ah LOVE you. Ah look at his dead body, so peaceful, the face of an angel, Ah can easily imagine him - or at least his soul - sitting in heaven. But then Ah hear his voice in mah head, the voice of an angel speaking the words of the devil. But true words nevertheless, non, chère? Yeah, it's true, Ah killed you. Ah killed you. Can't live without you. But you're dead. Ah killed you. Can't live without you. Ah killed you...

Epilogue 1:

Ororo Munroe, also known as x-men's Storm, desperately flew above the white Antarctic desert, searching for her lost teammates. One hour ago, Logan and her had found the Blackbird Rogue had "borrowed" to search the man she loved. Since then, Logan searched her and Remy on the ground, using his increased senses, while Ororo used the better overview she had in the air in order to find her friends. She was about to give up, when she detected a hint of color on the otherwise complete white ground. Full of hope she landed next to the bodies of her teammates and friends. She called their names excited and kneeled down. When the didn't respond, she became frightened and called through the intercom: "Logan, I found them, but they're unconscious. Get the first aid pack and come to my coordinates. Copy?" "Copied." She heard the growling voice of her feral teammate. Once again she concentrated on Rogue and Remy, who were lying next to each other peacefully. They aren't breathing anymore. No pulse either, she thought desperately. She tried to reanimate them, but in vain. When Logan arrived with the first aid pack, she already had no need for it anymore. The clouds, mirroring the emotions of their mistress, started to pour the rain, that turned to snow before hitting the ground.

Epilogue 2

Rogue walked through a dark empty space, always in the direction of the only light she saw, a tiny little spark in front of her. She missed Remy, but she hoped she'd see him again soon on the other shore. She had always known that she couldn't live without him. And when she had seen his dead body, heard his voice accusing her, she hadn't been able to turn her back on him again. Not this time. Not being able to bear reality anymore she had lain down in the cold snow curled up against his dead body, which was stiff now and no longer as gently and soft as she remembered it to be, willing the blackness to come, embracing it. She had no hope of being together with him in the eternity to come, because she doubted that he would forgive her, even here, but maybe she'll have the chance to tell him how sorry she was. And how much she loved him. No matter when, no matter where. Unconditionally.

~End~

Note: I know most of you folks don't like it, maybe I wouldn't like it myself if it hadn't been my idea. Maybe I'll write a sequel, depends on YOUR opinion. Please tell me what you think about it: SevenRogue@aol.com