TOP TWENTY THINGS WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO ON TREK NOW THAT IT'S A BOYS' CLUB
20. Instead of angstful yearning, Chak's trysts with all alien babes now end with him telling her "I'll call you when I'm next in your star system." 19. All heroic males suddenly develop an intense liking for role-playing games. 18. All heroic females suddenly develop an intense urge to take off their bras from underneath their shirts at the slightest provocation. 17. Someone resurrects Gene's old notion of Ferengi being incredibly well-hung. 16. Three words: Welcome back, miniskirts. 15. Sisko tells Kasidy that if she can't stick around the station to be there for him whenever he wants her she can just sod off. 14. Janeway gets a new holoprogram: French Maid Academy. 13. Seven's costume reduced to a fig leaf, two silver dollars and a piece of string. 12. Harry Kim starts taking Weight Gain 4000 and becomes a professional bodybuilder. Beefcake...beefcake!!!! 11. The Promenade finally gets that sports bar that's been sadly lacking. 10. Odo's Bajoran deputies replaced by whip-wielding Amazons. 9. All female characters ordered to wear heels and poof up their...oh, wait... 8. Overheard outside Kira's quarters: "You want the Dirk Diggler AGAIN, Nerys?" 7. A new feature of pon farr: inability to consume anything but beer and Cheetos. 6. Jake discoveres cybersex. 5. The Holodoc spends an entire episode tending to a male crewmember's groin pull while a female crewmember waits for her triple bypass. 4. Alien Sex Virus episodes at least once a month. 3. Nog scores with an underwear model. 2. Crew quarters now equipped with fooz-ball tables. AND THE NUMBER ONE THING WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO ON TREK NOW THAT IT'S A BOYS' CLUB: 1. Janeway and Seven. Catfight. Pay-per-view.


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