And The Winner Is...

Mulder & Scully, relaxing between cases:

"Look, Scully, I've got my finger up his nose!"

"Oh brother. I gave up cleaning my gun for this?"

From the mind of wendy
February 23, 1999


The Runners Up

Mulder impersonating Crow impersonating Skinner: "Hey! It's NOT a bald spot! It's the solar panel for a well-oiled sex machine!"

Red | February 23, 1999
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Mulder: I told you he had buck teeth!

Kate Anderson | February 27, 1999
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Who's your daddy?

kbrd | March 5, 1999
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Scully, see that shine? That's the precise light frequency that attracts large bug-like aliens...

Erin | February 21, 1999
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Mulder: That's no monkey on his back!

Scully: And no chip on his shoulder either!

Sarah Plummer | February 22, 1999
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Look out, sir, shiny surfaces enrage it!!

LCShipper | February 24, 1999
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See, Scully!!! Do you see?? I told you Skinner's office was bugged...

kingphinger | March 2, 1999
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MULDER: Watch out, Bugman! There's a Skinner in front of you!

Mr. Krazy | February 21, 1999
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Mulder: First it was Skinner with a hooker, and now this.

Allybear | February 25, 1999
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Skinner: ...And don't give me any of that "I don't know either but it's on your shoulder" crap, either!

jENNI | February 28, 1999

The Contenders
(in chronological order)

Scully is appalled at her first movie experience with Mulder...

MULDER: "hehe look Scully, he's pickin his nose!"

Shell1013 | February 21, 1999
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Mulder: Look, Scully, I told you that Skinner buffs his head! Look how shiny it is!

Scully: You're right! Look it how attracting that insect like a moth goes to porch light!

Bug: LIGHT PRETTY! I CAN'T HELP IT! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

Skinner: Where's my Raid?

Bug: I KILL YOU AND YOUR LITTLE AGENTS, TOO!

jENNI | February 21, 1999
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Look out, sir! It thinks you're a Tootsie Roll Pop!

Em | February 21, 1999
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Skinner: (talking to wife) You never told me your mother was coming over for the weekend...

Wife: She just finished unpacking her things

Skinner: (turning around) Damn, should have bought some raid.

Mother: (speaking quietly in the back ground) Who are those little green men?

Michael | February 21, 1999
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Scully: Mulder!! Quit sticking your finger in his ear!!

Mulder: But it's soooo fun!!

Scully (under her breath): Dumbass

puddlesky | February 21, 1999
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See, Scully? I TOLD you that Skinner's mother beat him when he was little.

Diana Lesky | February 21, 1999
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Scully: Mulder what are you thinking?

*Mulder whispers something in Scully's ear*

Scully: NO....

savagepatchkid | February 21, 1999
--------------------

Scully, have any bug spray?

Jinx | February 21, 1999
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Mulder: LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!

Scully: Be quiet, Mulder, I can't hear.

Frodo Underhill | February 21, 1999
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Mulder: HA HA!!! Things don't look good for Skinner!!!

Frodo Underhill | February 21, 1999
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Skinner: Is there a doctor in the house?!

Person in audience: I'm a doctor!

Frodo Underhill | February 21, 1999
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"Now, if you look at his eyes, you'll see the strong resemblence they bear to those of the strange bug-like creature behind him. This is it, Scully. Hard evidence that Skinner is de-evolving!"

Melvin F. | February 21, 1999
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Scully: You're right, Mulder! The veins in Skinner's head do mirror a map of the Amazon River.

Anne Packrat | February 21, 1999
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"Oooh! Shiny!"

Riff | February 21, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: Hey, look, it's Skinner! Hi Skinner!

Scully: No, wait-

Skinner: What have I told you about co-worker relationships outside the office?!? The...aaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andorra | February 21, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: Uh-oh! Watch out behind you baldy!

Mike Sanders | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: Mommy I'm scared. Is the monster going to eat the bald man?

Scully: Mulder, this is why I told you you need to do a better job of feeding your pets.

Mike Sanders | February 22, 1999
--------------------

"I can't believe you convinced me to see the sequel to Starship Troopers, Mulder. It's obvious he's going to slurp up his brains."

"Noooo, he's one of the good guys. As an act of good faith, he's going to lick his bald head."

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder gasped as he tried desperately to determine what disturbed him more - the fact that he had just discovered Skinner in an erotic film, or the fact that the giant, hideous insect was Skinner's love interest.

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: "WATCH OUT, SKINNER!!! He's gonna give you the ultimate WEDGIE!!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

"Look, Scully!! That jerk is putting a kick me sign on Skinner's back! How low will those bug bastards go..."

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

"I admit, the master thespian up there looks like Skinner. But for the last time, Scully, the actress with him is NOT Fowley."

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

"Observe Skinner's brilliant defense mechanism, Scully. The bug is so mesmerized by his own reflection in Skinner's shiny bald head, that he's quickly forgotten all about attacking. I love these national geographic specials!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

"Who recommended this film, Mulder?"

"Oh, I don't remember. Trambi, Shambi, Bambi... Could be anyone."

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Scully: "Damn neckcramps. We shouldn't sit so close to the screen. Mulder, do you hear me?!?"

Mulder: (lost in thought): "SUPERB. I can even see Skinner's nose hairs."

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: "Oh Scully, this is my favorite part of 'There's Something About Mantis'. Skinner struggles to remain calm in the middle of his zipper crisis, when suddenly, Mantis barges into the bathroom and she's still got that special *gel* in her antennae!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Coming in April: An Exclusive Fox Special titled, "When Radioactive Flies Attack!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
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Onscreen Dialogue: "No fly swatter can help you now, Baldo Waldo! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: Look Scully Queequeg's about to eat Skinner!

Scully: Ding Dong the Boss is Dead . . .

Steph or sumpthin' | February 22, 1999
--------------------

DR BAMBI
'nuff said

Magigie | February 22, 1999
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Mulder Sillhouette: I knew it! Skinner's been feeding information to the Syndicate in return for a chance at stardom!

Scully Silhouette: Sit down, Mulder!

Mulder: If only you'd believed me!

Scully: This has to be the most embarassing date I've ever been on.

Winter | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Mulder: Hey, lookit all that ear hair!

Scully: It's growing in the wrong place!

Wergel | February 22, 1999
--------------------

SCULLY: "Yes, Mulder, I see the darn insect already. Now quit screaming like a girl."

Cuts | February 22, 1999
--------------------

Look, it's your mum

Fugs | February 23, 1999
--------------------

"Look Scully! I can see my reflection!"

Lori | February 23, 1999
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Skinner: "Just a trim in the back and don't forget to dye the grey out. I'm not THAT old yet!"

Bug: "Trust me, Dahlin'. I would never do anything to harm that beautiful and shiny cranium of yours!"

Red | February 23, 1999
--------------------

Be gentle, it's my first time.

Dj Spacecadet | February 23, 1999
--------------------

Skinner: OH MY GOD!!...is that a nickel?!?!?

Andorra | February 23, 1999
--------------------

The giant bug on screen, as well as Mulder and Scully in the audience, notice A.D. Skinner's uncanny resemblance to Mr. Clean with his newly polished head.

SACLisaXF | February 23, 1999
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Mulder: SKINNER! Look out behind you!

Scully: Shh! *Siskel and Ebert are right behind us!

*Memorial to Gene Siskel

Michelle | February 24, 1999
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Bug Monster: "Your fly is open... HAHA, made you look!!"

Lunchlady Doris | February 24, 1999
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Mulder: Cool!! A karaoke contest!

ikagirl | February 24, 1999
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Mulder: If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: NEVER mess with Scully when she's PMS-ing! You've really made her mad THIS time!

Sweetheart | February 24, 1999

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