It isn't what you were expecting, I know. But this is how the story evolved. The characters belong to the show Xena: Warrior Princess, Renaissance Pictures and the actors who portray them. There is no insult intended, no intent to defame, deface or profit by this endeveour, except that I hope you enjoy my efforts, as much I enjoyed writing it.

They say that the myths were first devised to explain observed phenomena. In that case, this is more of a myth, than a fairy tale, as you will see.

This story is rated PG for sexual situations (m/f) I think that's all. XMP

Pinokio

by XMP

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who wanted more than anything to be a bard. She studied long and hard to learn the bardic lore and knew more stories than were in the great libraries of the hall. And this was the problem. For, when a story needed that extra something, Gabrielle knew exactly how to tell it, to the great dismay of her teachers.

When the day came to vote on whether to include the pretty little blonde girl, the debate was loud and vehement.

"What shall we do about Gabrielle?" one sour spinster got up and sang (for all their debates were in song). "She embroiders every story she tells!" Shaking a finger at the others in emphasis, she reminded them, "For you all must realize, though it's fine to fantasize, A BARD NEVER LIES!" They all nodded their heads in agreement and chorused in a minor key, "Yes, yes, a bard never lies."

"But Gabrielle tells the finest tales!" one young man protested.
"She makes me laugh, it never fails," another chimed.
"Too bad she's weak when singing scales," a third mourned. Others agreed saying (in a minor key), "She is so very weak when singing scales."

Gabrielle's advisor stood and spread his arms for attention. "I think I can safely state, without too much debate, that as a bard she could be great." With a sad sigh, he added (in a minor key) "If we could get her to tell the stories straight."

The eldest of the bards, dressed in the blue robes of his rank, shriveled and shrunk like a cricket on the hearth, rose for the first time in a decade. Nobody noticed. Accustomed to being ignored, he banged the staff of his calling on the floor. The small taps that were all his aged muscles could manage went unheard in the murmurs around him. Still calm, he raised the staff and began thumping the heads of those nearest him. It didn't hurt them, but finally someone notice and he was lifted to the center of the room.

"I say we put a spell on Gabrielle, to teach her the ways most factual. Perhaps every time she lies, her clothes could minimize, until she runs around au natureau!" An approving bass murmur repeated (in a minor key), "Gabrielle au natureau."

A vote was taken and the idea approved, and so it was decided. But, due to a typical administrative error, no one thought to tell Gabrielle of the restriction. And so, as a journeyman bard, dressed in her favorite loose blue blouse, and a long skirt, embroidered girdle and stout boots, she set off to find a hero worthy to write a bardic epic of. To her great luck, she found one, Xena the Warrior Princess. And Xena's exploits were exciting enough that only a minor amount of embroidery was necessary, mostly about the doings of her sidekick. So, Gabrielle's clothing shrunk most slowly, until one day ...

One day, Xena decided to take a vacation and go fishing, an undertaking that Gabrielle found extremely boring. When the young man who traveled with them, Joxer the Mighty, suggested that she pass the time writing stories that had never happened, Gabrielle perked up and declared that it was a great idea.

However, the great and mighty, beautious and capricious goddess, Aphrodite, was just as bored as Gabrielle. And, to liven things up, she cast a spell on the scroll the woman bard was using, that everything she wrote would come true.

This spell confused the original spell on Gabrielle's bardic calling. For on the scroll the ensorcelled woman wrote so many lies that she should have lost her clothing three times over! But the spell on the scroll caused each lie to come true, negating the original spell upon her. It did it's best to comply with the conditions set forth, so that when the young man inadvertantly created three copies of the woman (for such was his love of her and his great powers of endurance) the spell sent them forth dancing naked (to Gabrielle's great embarassment).

Finally, through a stint of writing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, Aphrodite's mischief was broken, and the scroll returned to it's normal state. The spell upon Gabrielle also reset to the previous length and the legendary journeys continued, with the woman a little more careful with her flights of fancy.

And so things stood until the day they met the Princess Alesia, a little girl who so hated her stepmother, that she had run away from home to find a fairy godsmother. The previous night, Gabrielle had promised Xena that she would awaken her early, but when morning came, the young woman forgot, making it a lie. For that offense, her top vanished.

Now Joxer, lying to all appearances asleep in their camp, observed the topless woman return. Hiding his awakening with great difficulty, he watched as she sought for something to cover her flesh, finally settling on a sack, ripping a hole for her head. The sack was dull, rough and long, reaching all the way to her calves. But it was decent.

After they had rescued Alesia from the clutches of the mischievious Aphrodite, Xena ordered Gabrielle to amuse the child with a tale. But the story as written in the scroll was not suitable for such a young girl, so the bard began to change it. To Joxer's amazement, the sack began to shrink, until, by dinner time, Gabrielle's navel was exposed.

He thought long on this happening and finally decided to put it to a test. It was his birthday, and Xena was off fishing again, leaving him and Gabrielle alone. Sidling up to her as they sat by the campfire, he asked, "Gabby, would you tell me a story?"

"Sure, Joxer, what'll it be? The time that Xena was almost driven insane by the Harpies. Or about how Hercules turned her to good. Or maybe ..."

"How about if you tell a story of one of my heroic exploits?" Gabrielle laughed gently.

"Joxer, you don't have any heroic exploits," she reminded him. He gave her a hurt look from out of his puppy-dog brown eyes and his lips pouted out. It looked like he was about to cry. Gabrielle felt her heart melt at the sight. "I'll tell you what, Joxer. I'll make something up, will that do?" With a great smile, he nodded eagerly, and Gabrielle began to tell a story about great events that had never occurred.

Caught up in her invention, she never noticed as her top shrank down until it was barely covering her up front, her skirt shrank to become a narrow belt about her hips and her pants grew smaller and smaller until they were barely there. Feeling cold, Gabrielle stood up to poke the fire higher and felt a breeze where there shouldn't be one. Looking down in dismay her eyes widened and she fell silent. Joxer stood up behind her, stopping the draft.

Putting his arms around her, he began to nuzzle her neck, his arms keeping her warm through friction, rubbing his hands over her exposed skin. Gabrielle found that did serve to make it warmer, all over. But some parts of her were much, much hotter than others. She turned around, sliding her hands up around Joxer's neck and raising her face to be kissed. After a few moments, realizing that her behind was feeling rather chilled again, she murmured, "Perhaps if we lay down ...?" And it was quickly so. As he lay down on top of her, keeping her warm, Joxer said quietly, "Lie to me some more, Gabrielle."