Disclaimer: Star Trek and its characters are
the property of Paramount/Viacom. I am just
borrowing them briefly, for fun not profit.
Synopsis: New Year's Eve on Voyager. P/T,
rated NC17 for sexual content. Do not read
if you are under 18 or averse to detailed
descriptions of heterosexual lovemaking.
This story takes place sometime between the
episodes Mortal Coil and Waking Moments, at
about the time I am randomly designating the
"holiday season" on Voyager.
_____________________________________________
_______
"New Year's Resolutions"
by Julie Evans -January 1998
"Nice party."
Tom nodded at Harry's comment. It was a nice
party. Not that he'd been here very long.
And he told himself that it was early yet.
He tipped the glass he was holding to his
lips and took a sip of the champagne.
Synthenol, but a pretty authentic replication
of Dom Perignon 2341, which had been an
excellent year.
"This is pretty good stuff," Harry said,
tipping his own glass. "I think Neelix
outdid himself this time."
"Have you tried the hor d'oeuvres yet?" Tom
asked, his mouth curving into a wry smile.
"Hmmm, no. I'm still working up the
courage."
Tom chuckled, and sipped his champagne. He
would have been surprised to know that Harry
was looking at him with more than a hint of
exasperation. But then he hadn't looked at
Harry for several minutes. Or at the marble
pillars and gold leaf that lined the faux
ballroom, also known as holodeck 2. Or the
chandeliers that hung from the ceiling, their
dozens of crystal teardrops reflecting
dancing prisms of light off their surface.
Or at the white linen covered tables laden
with hor d'oeuvres and champagne bottles. Or
at the dozens of crewmembers already gathered
around him, outfitted in their dressiest
attire. All the time he'd been carrying on a
casual conversation with Harry, his attention
had been focused on the door.
"Tom, are you trying to burn a hole in that
door by staring at it?"
"Huh-no..." Tom turned to look at his friend
sheepishly. "Sorry, Harry."
"I'm sure she'll show up soon," Harry said.
Then he looked at Tom searchingly. "Unless
there's trouble in paradise already?"
Tom shook his head. "Like I said, something
came up in Engineering. She'll be here." At
least that was what she'd told him. B'Elanna
was good to her word. Although if she was
still mad at him about the other night...
The main door opened, catching both Harry and
Tom's attention. But it wasn't B'Elanna who
entered. It was Seven who walked into the
room, dressed in a long black form hugging
sheath. She strode coolly toward the middle
of the room, her long stride accommodated by
the slit in her dress that ended at her upper
thigh. Tom could swear he heard Harry's
intake of breath as she passed through the
crowd.
"Hey, Seven."
Seven stopped and turned at Harry's greeting.
Tom had watched a few others murmur a polite
greeting as she walked by, but no one else
had offered an invitation to stop and chat.
Captain Janeway, and Tuvok also, had taken
Seven under their wing. But she still hadn't
quite grasped the concept of making friends.
Harry was perhaps the closest she'd come thus
far.
"Ensign Kim. Lieutenant Paris." Seven
stopped in front of them and greeted them in
her formal manner.
"Seven." Tom smiled in greeting. He felt
for her, because he knew how it hurt to be on
the outside. Even if she pretended it didn't
matter, somewhere deep inside he thought it
must. As she stared expressionlessly at him,
he refrained from telling her that she was
looking lovely tonight. Once those words had
fallen off his lips to virtually every woman
he met. And in this case it would be the
complete truth. There was no doubt Seven was
a gorgeous woman, in every sense of the word.
There wasn't a physical attribute missing.
Not all that long ago just looking at her
would have set his pulse racing, his mind
calculating. But now he felt no reaction at
all.
"Uh, you're looking lovely tonight, Seven."
Tom grinned. Obviously Harry felt a
reaction.
"Thank you, Ensign Kim," Seven replied
somberly. She glanced around the room.
"This is quite...ostentatious."
Tom chuckled. "Welcome to Neelix's annual
New Year's Eve party. A Voyager tradition
since last year."
Seven raised an eyebrow. "What is its
purpose?"
Harry shrugged. "It's an Earth tradition. A
way of celebrating the accomplishments of the
past year, and ringing in the beginning of
the next year, when you hope that even better
things will be accomplished. Even though
we're on a starship we've taken to
celebrating it in conjunction with Earth's
calendar, and Neelix has really gotten into
it..."
Tom was only half listening as Harry
continued into a more lengthy explanation of
the concept and the various celebrations that
took place on Earth at the turning of the
year. He glanced at the door again. Last
year at Neelix's inaugural New Year's Eve
party, B'Elanna had been wearing her
sleeveless black dress, the one that hugged
every delicate curve. And Tom had been
trying valiantly to flirt with her, to pick
her up. It was just around the time when
he'd realized that he was attracted to her.
She'd rebuffed him repeatedly, almost good
humoredly, making it clear that she didn't
take him seriously. And wisely so, since his
only thought that night had been how good
they would be together in bed. He hadn't
looked any further at the time, he hadn't
wanted to.
"Excuse me everyone. Your attention, if I
may."
Tom attention turned to the captain, who been
standing on the other side of the room
talking with Chakotay and Tuvok. She'd moved
to the center and her quick glance around the
room encompassed the entire gathered crew.
"I'd like to say a few words. We're gathered
here tonight to celebrate, and to remember
everything we've learned and accomplished
this past year..."
Tom heard the door open and his attention was
immediately diverted. This time his wish was
answered, and B'Elanna walked into the room.
She must have replicated something new,
because he'd never seen the dress she was
wearing tonight. It was a sleeveless
glittering sheath in a warm bronze color that
lent an even more golden tone to B'Elanna's
smooth skin. The scooped neck line dipped
just low enough to hint at the swell of her
breasts. It was short, ending at mid thigh
and revealing her slim legs. And the fit
was...snug. Tom felt his mouth go dry and
his gut tighten as if he'd just been kicked.
But then, looking at B'Elanna often did that
to him.
She glanced around the room once and their
eyes locked. She didn't smile, or frown.
She just stared at him, and her lips slightly
parted. Then she turned and said something
to the several Engineering crewmembers who
were greeting her. Tom thought he saw her
tongue dart out and moisten her lips right as
she turned away.
"We're on a journey- not of our own choice, I
know- but we've made new discoveries, learned
more about ourselves, even as we've
encountered a few bumps along the way..."
A few bumps. Tom smiled wryly at the
captain's words. He felt as if his whole
life had been turned upside down this past
year. Not that getting his life turned
upside down was a new experience for him, and
since landing on Voyager, the upheavals had
generally been positive. Only this time the
changes scared him a little. He had wanted
it for so long, and then somehow it had
happened so quickly. It seemed so new, and
so fragile...
"We've overcome so many obstacles, and we've
moved closer to home, much closer. We've
lost friends in the process, but still we
have much to be thankful for. Not the least
of which is each other, and the bonds we've
made..."
Bonds. He glanced at B'Elanna again, but she
was watching the captain speak. It was the
Sakari world. That's when he'd realized the
depth of his developing feelings for her.
She'd offered him exactly what he'd thought
up to that point that he wanted from her-
hot, sweaty, uninhibited sex, with someone he
was most definitely attracted to, hell, even
fond of. He'd looked at her closely at that
pivotal moment- flushed, willing,
aggressively eager to have him- and nakedly
vulnerable. And he'd been almost as
surprised as she that he'd rejected her
offer, refused to take advantage of her while
she was under the influence of the pon farr.
That was when he'd realized that he didn't
just want to have sex with her. He wanted to
make love with her. That's also when he'd
realized that he was beginning to love her.
And that had shocked him to the core.
"Next year may be the year we get home. The
year we all see our families in the Alpha
quadrant again. But in the meantime we have
our family here, because that is what we are
now. We're all in this together. No matter
what happens in the coming year, what new
challenges we face, that one thing will
remain constant. We have each other, and
that is a lot. Cheers to a new year, and to
all those resolutions we'll be trying not to
break."
As Janeway raised her glass and wished
everyone a Happy New Year, Tom's gaze
returned to B'Elanna. He raised his own
glass absently, joining in the general well
wishing, but never taking his eyes off her.
B'Elanna's gaze finally locked with his for a
moment, then she turned away to once again
respond to someone next to her. Freddie
Bristow, whose gaze on B'Elanna had drifted
to a spot well below her face. Well, THAT
was more than enough.
Tom clapped Harry on the back. "Harry,
Seven, have a good evening."
"He is heading straight for Lieutenant
Torres," Seven observed dispassionately as
Tom strode across the room.
Harry chuckled. "Of course."
Seven cocked an eyebrow. "Are intimate
relationships generally so...volatile?"
"It depends on who's involved in the
relationship," Harry said. And in the case
of his two best friends volatile was the
operative word. Yet somehow they were so
right for each other, no matter what some
people might say or think. He wasn't sure
they could see it yet, the bond that
connected them, that they had forged with
their hearts and souls, more so than most
people could understand, more than perhaps
even they realized. He smiled as he watched
Tom stop abruptly in front of B'Elanna and
her entourage, before turning back to Seven.
"Hello, Joe. Vorik. Freddie."
B'Elanna had seen Tom approach out of the
corner of her eye. She suppressed her
amusement as she listened to his greeting.
After all, she was still really annoyed with
him. His tone to Joe had been friendly
enough, but his voice had cooled when he'd
gotten to Vorik, and just about iced over
when he'd greeted Freddie.
"B'Elanna." Tom looked straight at her while
he drawled her name in a low voice. He stood
right next to her, she could feel his body
heat pressing against her bare arms. Then
she felt his hand touch her wrist and his
fingers trailed lightly up the sensitive skin
of her forearm. She shivered. "Cold?"
He had a smirk on his face when he said it,
and B'Elanna pulled her arm away. Dammit, it
was so hard when she wanted to ravish him and
smack him at the same time.
"B'Elanna, I want to talk to you." Tom's
voice was low and close to her ear. "Let's
get out of here."
"I just got here, Tom."
Joe took the hint immediately. "Tom,
B'Elanna, have a good evening. I'm off to
mingle."
Vorik quickly followed Joe into the crowd,
and after a reluctant glance at B'Elanna and
a cool stare from Tom, Freddie did the same.
"Let's go," Tom cajoled again.
"Tom, I don't know why you think I'd want to
leave when I just got here." B'Elanna gave
him an obstinate look.
"Okay, we can...talk here." Tom touched the
lowest part of the neckline of B'Elanna's
dress as he spoke, and his fingertips barely
brushed the soft skin the swelled along the
silky material. He raised his eyes and
looked right at her.
Tom's fingers were warm, but not as warm as
B'Elanna's suddenly heated skin. She
automatically grabbed his hand with every
intent of pushing him away. But a jolt of
desire swept through her, and she had a
sudden urge to press his hand harder against
her skin, against her breast. How quickly
she reacted to him both excited and dismayed
her. Her dislike of feeling out of control
constantly warred with her desire- her love-
for Tom. She stared into his intense blue
gaze and her grip on his hand tightened
considerably. Tom winced but his gaze didn't
waver from her flashing eyes as she spoke.
"Let's go."
********************
"Okay, we're here. What do you want to say?"
Tom turned as B'Elanna stalked into the room
behind him. The flame that had threatened to
momentarily consume them a few minutes before
had apparently faded for the moment. But it
always came back. So far. "B'Elanna, why
are you still mad at me?"
B'Elanna stopped in front of Tom and frowned
at him. "Why do you think I'm mad at you?"
Tom stared at her, then moved back as she
brushed past him. "Maybe because you've
barely talked to me for three days."
B'Elanna shrugged, then sat down on her
couch. "I've been working overtime upgrading
the gelpak relay system in Engineering. You
know that, Tom."
"You have to eat, B'Elanna," Tom said
walking around the other side of the couch.
"But I haven't seen you in the mess hall at
meals." He picked up her discarded uniform
and draped it neatly over the back of the
couch so he could sit down. It always amazed
him that she couldn't tolerate a tool out of
place in Engineering, yet her quarters were
often a scene of haphazard disarray. There
was a certain charm in it. "You also have to
come back to your quarters sometime to sleep,
yet you haven't answered my calls."
"I've been getting in late." B'Elanna
shifted on the couch. "I have a job to do, I
can't always be at your beck and call-"
"Excuse me?" Tom stiffened and dropped his
arm from the back of the couch where he'd
casually draped it. He crossed both arms
over his chest. "Do you really think I'm
trying to control you, B'Elanna?"
B'Elanna could see she'd irritated him.
Maybe that comment had been unfair. "I
didn't mean it that way, Tom. Sometimes I
just need some space-"
"Okay, message received." Tom rose from the
couch. "I'm bothering you. I won't call
you, you can call me."
"Tom, now you're overreacting-"
"Maybe I am." He stood looking down at her.
"So tell me, do you want me to stay right
now, or do you need some 'space'?"
B'Elanna didn't answer, she just stared at
him with a blank expression on her face. Tom
decided he could read the answer for himself.
"I see-"
"Tom, why do you want to be with me?"
Tom stopped in the process of turning away,
baffled by her unexpected question. "What?"
"Why are you with me?" B'Elanna was frowning
at him. "I'm not a quiet, demure, even
tempered woman who follows all the rules.
It's generally an occasion when I'm even able
to be reasonably nice-"
"B'Elanna, what are you talking about? I
don't want..." Tom stopped in mid sentence.
He took a step toward her and crouched down
in front of her. "You're talking about the
Iliad program, aren't you? That's what this
is about?" He took her hand. "I knew you
were annoyed with me when we ended the
program, but I didn't realize you were this
annoyed."
"I wasn't annoyed exactly. I was..."
B'Elanna shook her head. "Never mind, it's
not that important."
"Yes, it is." Tom wrapped his other hand
around hers when she tried to pull away.
"When I said that stuff, B'Elanna, I wasn't
talking about you. I was talking about how
the character was supposed to act."
B'Elanna looked at him questioningly. "Tom,
why would you want me to be Helen of Troy?
I'm not anything remotely like her."
Tom studied her for a moment, then rose to
sit on the couch next to her, keeping her
hand held between his. "Two reasons, I
guess. One, because you are like her in one
aspect. In her own time, Helen of Troy was
the most beautiful woman in the world, maybe
even the universe. Just like you."
B'Elanna found it hard to pull her eyes away
from Tom's gaze. She'd tried to learn to
accept Tom's compliments graciously, but she
still fought the urge to dismiss them. "Not
exactly like me."
"No, not exactly," Tom agreed. He leaned
over and kissed her ridged brow lightly.
"She was actually something of a bore. No
strong opinions, no fiery temper, no passion,
certainly not much loyalty. Not my type at
all. In fact, now that I think of it, she
had absolutely no redeeming qualities. Well,
maybe one."
B'Elanna's gaze narrowed. "What was that?"
"She didn't warn the Trojans that the Greeks
were hiding in the wooden horse."
B'Elanna caught Tom's sly grin and snorted.
"I was just correcting a ridiculous moment in
history."
"Excuse me, you morons, but don't you think
you should thoroughly check out a gift horse
before you accept it?" Tom mimicked.
"Tom, you were one of the Trojans," B'Elanna
pointed out. "You should have been
grateful."
Tom shrugged. "You can't mess with history,
B'Elanna. My namesake was slated to die a
noble death." He managed to look bothered
that he'd survived.
"Tom, don't take this the wrong way, but your
namesake was an idiot."
Tom mouth quirked. "Actually, besides being
fated from birth to bring about the
destruction of his people, Paris was
basically a coward, a chronic screw up who
was perpetually out of favor with his family,
and probably deserving of his ignominious
end. It was hard to resist the irony, at
least the irony that it once was."
B'Elanna shook her head. She much preferred
Tom's cocky demeanor, act though it mostly
was, to his self depreciating disparagement
of his past. "Resist it next time."
Tom smiled. "Okay. I'm sorry about the
program. I thought you might enjoy the
Greeks and Trojans. They somehow reminded me
of Klingons."
B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "Constantly
taking offense when their honor was
marginally impugned, engaging in fights empty
of any real meaning except as a way to
release their testosterone surges..."
Tom laughed out loud. "Exactly."
"You're right, most of them were just like
Klingons. Except for Paris and Helen, the
two people who's deceit caused the whole
bloody episode. I still don't know if I
should keep being offended that you see
something in me that reminds you of her."
Tom shook his head. "You're nothing like
Helen in character. The only thing I was
thinking when I programmed it was that just
looking at her was reputedly enough to make a
man's knees tremble. Particularly one man
named Paris. And B'Elanna," Tom brushed his
hand across her mouth in a feathery caress,
then touched his lips to the soft corner of
B'Elanna's slightly parted mouth, "There's
only been one woman who has ever done that to
me. Who still does that to me."
B'Elanna stared at Tom for a moment, her eyes
darkening. Then she dropped her hands to his
thighs and slid them slowly down to his
knees, while she pressed her mouth lightly
against his and traced his lips with the tip
of her tongue. "Are your knees trembling
now, Tom?" she whispered.
"Hell, yes." Tom's voice was soft and
throaty, and his breath mingled with hers as
he scraped her lower lip softly with his
teeth. "Luckily I'm not standing up or I
might just fall-"
Tom didn't get a chance to finish his thought
before B'Elanna threw her arms tightly around
his neck and her mouth engulfed his. He
wrapped his arms around her, only too happy
to lose himself in the sensation of B'Elanna
kissing him until his blood throbbed against
his temples. He only pulled back from her
urgently plundering mouth when he was
desperate to gulp in some air. B'Elanna was
straddling him, her hands tangled in the soft
hair at the base of his neck, and her dark
passion filled eyes boring into his.
"Yes."
"What?" Tom looked at her, confused by her
soft, breathless affirmation.
"Yes. To your question. Tom, I want you to
stay."
A slow smile spread across Tom's face. "I
was hoping you'd say that. Now the question
is, do I want to stay?"
B'Elanna's eyes narrowed. She shifted
slightly, pressing herself closer to him.
"Ummm, Tom, I think you do."
Tom managed a small chuckle. Hell, yes, he
did. So much that it was beginning to hurt.
He gritted his teeth as B'Elanna moved even
more deliberately against him, then gave him
an wicked smile. His hands skimmed past the
edge where her dress had rucked up around her
hips and gripped her bare thighs almost
without volition. "B'Elanna, don't torture
me."
"But I though you liked it," She drawled,
gripping his hands with her own, and pulling
them roughly up her body. Tom willingly
complied, pressing his palms along the
slender contours of her ribs and stopping to
cup her breasts possessively. He could feel
the heat of her skin radiating through the
silky material of her dress and her heart
beating furiously against his hands. She
shuddered slightly, and he smiled at her
small intake of breath as his thumbs caressed
the tight peaks of her nipples through her
clothing.
B'Elanna pressed Tom's hands tighter against
her breasts for a moment, then pushed them
away long enough to reach down and pull her
dress over her head. She tossed it behind
her where it landed in a small glittering
heap on the floor.
Tom stared at her as she stretched sinuously
to toss the dress away, throwing all her
beautiful curves into lush display. Not that
she was naked under her dress, that wasn't
B'Elanna's style at all. Instead she was
wearing a deep blue satin form fitting
camisole with matching panties. It was
neither frilly nor particularly racy, since
the top dipped just low enough to reveal the
shadowy cleft between her breasts and the
lower edge of the panties brushed along the
curve of her hips. Despite its almost chaste
simplicity, on B'Elanna the ensemble was
incredibly, mind numbingly erotic.
"Did I thank you for this, Tom?" B'Elanna
asked softly. They had exchanged small
Christmas gifts several days ago, despite the
fact that Christmas wasn't a holiday either
of them thought of with much fondness, nor
celebrated with ease. Her own involvement
with the holiday had pretty much ended when
her father had left, other than participating
in the well-wishing those around her in
Starfleet and later in the Maquis, considered
polite during the "season".
Actually she'd almost blushed and had seemed
a little annoyed with him at the time, as Tom
remembered. And that was before the Iliad
holoprogram. Now he just smiled slowly,
wolfishly. "Not properly."
B'Elanna gasped as Tom gripped her shoulders
and pushed her backward onto the couch,
following her down. He was careful not to
land on her too hard, even though he knew she
could easily take his weight, despite her
deceptively small frame. He pulled up
slightly so he could unbutton his shirt, but
B'Elanna beat him to it, her hands popping
several of the buttons as she pulled it off
him and tossed it carelessly over the back of
the couch. He shucked off his own pants and
shoes and socks quickly and threw them over
the couch to join his discarded shirt.
B'Elanna was urgently pulling him back down
on her, and he didn't protest as their mouths
and tongues met in a deep, bone melting kiss.
Tom jerked when B'Elanna's hand slid between
them and firmly cupped his erection through
his briefs. She could do that in a way that
was both pleasurable and slightly painful, in
a way that excited him all the more.
Trusting her to deliberately hold him so near
the edge of agony was incredibly stimulating.
He couldn't stop the moan that issued from
his lips, then was quickly silenced by her
plundering mouth. He responded by moving his
hand between her legs to cup her. She was
already wet through the smooth satin of her
panties.
"B'Elanna," Tom murmured against her mouth
as he pulled the damp material down and she
raised up just enough to allow him to remove
it. He quickly inserted his fingers inside
her, knowing she was more than ready, and
felt her body arch against him in response.
Their mouths were still interlocked and her
teeth sank into his lower lip hard enough to
draw blood as he moved his fingers
rhythmically inside her. Her hand tightened
perceptively over his erection and he moaned,
the pain and pleasure of her touch colliding
in one swelling sensation, and his teeth sank
into her lower lip in turn.
A small growl issued from B'Elanna's throat
and she loosened her grip and pulled his
briefs roughly down, exposing his erection.
He moved enough to help her pull the garment
off, and in the process tore his mouth away
from hers, still tasting their mingled blood
on his tongue. He trailed his lips along her
soft heated skin toward her breasts, and took
one erect nipple in his mouth, alternately
sucking and lightly biting it.
"Now, Tom," B'Elanna moaned urgently,
grinding hard against his hand as his fingers
increased their rhythm inside her. Her hand
had wrapped around his erection again and she
guided him quickly to her. Tom removed his
fingers and quickly thrust his shaft deeply
into the welcoming warmth of her body. He
stilled his own body for a moment, enjoying
the feeling of just being inside her, of
being enveloped by her- that precious
anticipatory moment before their mutual
passion engulfed them.
"Tom..." B'Elanna's urgent plea and the feel
of her slender legs wrapping tightly around
him sprung Tom into action. He pulled out of
her slightly and then thrust deeply into her
again, his mouth moving to her other breast
to lave and nip, while he closed his hand
over the firm, warm breast his mouth had just
dampened and kneaded it roughly. His other
hand, still trapped between their joined
bodies, stroked her clitoris, bringing her
toward the edge with him. B'Elanna's hand
tugged at Tom's hair hard enough to bring
tears to his eyes as she met him thrust for
thrust in a building wave of passion. She
pulled his head up almost forcibly and their
mouths met in a rough tangle of tongues and
teeth as the movements of their bodies
against each other reached a frenzied peak.
B'Elanna's nails raked hard down Tom's back,
leaving thin scratches where the blood welled
to the surface.
"B'Elanna!" Tom thrust into her one final
time as she uttered her own keening wail,
plunging so deeply that he felt he was
reaching all the way into her soul, or
bringing her into his, and they both soared
as one over the edge. As the dizzying waves
of passion slowly subsided, Tom collapsed on
top of B'Elanna and they lay in each other's
arms, unable to do more than breathe raggedly
for several moments.
Tom finally had the presence of mind to roll
off B'Elanna, holding her closely between him
and the back of the narrow couch. He could
feel the stinging of the scratches she had
inflicted on his back, intensified by the
salty sheen of perspiration that covered his
body. And the aching of his scalp where
she'd practically pulled the hair out of his
head. And the dull throbbing of his lip,
raked by her teeth. All the exhilarating
sensations of loving B'Elanna.
B'Elanna snuggled up to Tom, enjoying the
feeling of their sweat slicked bodies resting
against each other. She had almost protested
when Tom rolled off her. She liked the feel
of him inside her, even after they had come,
and the weight of him pressing on top of her.
And she reveled in the feel of the other
after effects of their lovemaking on her
body, the throbbing of her lip where Tom had
marked her with his bite, and the sharp
tingling of her nipples where his hands and
mouth had been pleasantly rough. A lethargic
glow suffused her limbs, and they lay with
their arms and legs entangled around each
other for several minutes before she spoke.
"Tom, what was the second reason?"
"The second-? Oh." Tom realized she was
talking about the holoprogram again and
smiled at her sheepishly. "I wanted to see
how you looked in a peplos."
"A what?" B'Elanna looked at him, then
frowned. "You mean-"
"The white gown that hung along your curves
so provocatively, B'Elanna."
B'Elanna raised herself up on one elbow.
"You're lucky I agreed to wear it. White is
not my color."
"B'Elanna, you look positively stunning in
white." Tom ignored her dubious expression
and spoke again before she could get an
objection out. "But since you didn't like
it, maybe next time you can be Penthesilea,
the equally beautiful warrior queen of the
Amazons. Now you do have a lot in common
with her."
B'Elanna looked thoughtful for a moment, then
her eyes narrowed. "Wasn't she the one
wearing the skin tight leather?"
Tom smiled widely. "Why, yes, I believe she
was."
B'Elanna gave him an exasperated look.
"Tom, you've got to get over this urge to
create holoprograms just so you can dress me
up. I'm not some Barbie doll you know."
Tom threw back his head and laughed.
"B'Elanna, how do you know about Barbie
dolls?" Then his expression became
thoughtful, but as he looked at her
speculatively, his eyes sparkled. "Don't
tell me you played with Barbies when you were
a little girl."
B'Elanna snorted at his suggestive tone.
"Don't be ridiculous. I can't even imagine
how that thing has lasted for all these
centuries."
Tom shrugged. "She's a classic, and classics
never die out." A teasing smile was still
lurking on his face. "So you're telling me
there were no Barbie and Ken weddings, no
honeymoon bliss in the Barbie dream house-"
"Tomm..."
Tom's frowned to keep from laughing. "Well,
I definitely remember my sisters playing with
Barbies. Of course, being daughters of a
Starfleet admiral, they had Base Doctor
Barbie, Fleet Captain Barbie, Chief Engineer
Barbie..."
B'Elanna groaned.
"I even played with them sometimes," Tom
said reflectively.
"You played with Barbies?" Now it was
B'Elanna's turn to sound disbelieving.
"Sure. I used to sneak in my sisters'
rooms when they weren't there and undress all
the Barbies," Tom gave B'Elanna a leering
grin, "especially Chief Engineer Barbie-
ouch!"
B'Elanna had shoved Tom hard enough to push
him off the couch and he banged his head
soundly against the edge of the coffee table.
"B'Elanna...ummph!" Tom's protest was cut
off as B'Elanna almost immediately landed on
top of him. He reached up and rubbed the
side of his head. "Are you trying to kill
me?"
"Your head's too hard for that," B'Elanna
said dryly. She pushed his hand out of the
way and ran her fingers lightly over the
small bump on the side of his head, ruffling
his hair. Tom smiled inwardly at the
contrast between her dismissive words and her
concerned actions as she practically caressed
the spot where she'd injured him. "Oh, it's
just a little bump. You're fine. I-"
"You didn't mean to hurt me," Tom finished
for her.
"Yes, I did."
Tom sighed dramatically and B'Elanna smiled,
then leaned over far enough to touch her lips
to the injured spot. Far enough so that her
breasts came to rest momentarily very near
Tom's mouth. He pressed his lips into the
damp hollow between them and tasted the salty
tang of her skin. He murmured a protest when
B'Elanna pulled back abruptly.
"Already, Tom?" B'Elanna queried. She moved
back against him and raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, I guess so."
Tom slid his hands up her thighs and caressed
her bare buttocks as she straddled his lower
abdomen, then pressed his thumbs against the
soft hollows above her hips and tried to pull
her down into a more satisfying position, but
she resisted.
"Tom..."
"What?" He sighed. "Oh, all right, I won't
mention Barbies again. And I'll even delete
my Barbie dream house program. Though I did
think we could have some...fun in all those
pink rooms."
B'Elanna just narrowed her eyes at Tom's
teasing smirk. "And..."
"And...no more holoprograms where you have to
dress up like a girl..."
B'Elanna rolled her eyes but there was a hint
of a smile lurking around her lips. "Well,
not unless I want to."
"Not unless..." Tom echoed her words, then
grinned at his ever unpredictable lover.
"Okay, not unless you want to."
"Anything else?"
"And..umm..." Tom expression sobered
suddenly, and he raised a hand to her face
and cupped her jaw, then ran his thumb gently
across her luscious lips that parted ever so
slightly for him. "The truth is, B'Elanna, I
don't want you to ever do anything you don't
want to. If you really don't like it, all
you have to do is tell me. Tell me a couple
of times if I'm not listening very well. Hit
me if you have to. But just talk to me."
B'Elanna turned and pressed her lips against
Tom's palm. She understood his meaning. All
she had to do was talk to him. Not shout,
not stalk away. Just talk. That simple, and
that difficult. "I know," she whispered.
"We just have to talk to each other."
Tom held her sober gaze for a moment. "I
know sharing our feelings is neither of our
natural inclinations, but we'll get better at
it," he promised softly, dropping his hand
from her face. Then a small, expectant smile
played across his lips. "Maybe even this
good at it." And this time, when he grasped
her hips to reposition her to their mutual
pleasure, she complied willingly.
**********
"New Year's resolutions? I never make them,"
Tom murmured some time later. His arms were
holding B'Elanna close and she rested her
head on his shoulder. He pulled the blankets
closer around them so the slight chill in the
room wouldn't reach her. "Or at least I quit
a long time ago. I couldn't see any reason
to set myself up for more failure."
B'Elanna brushed her hand lightly along the
soft hairs on Tom's chest. For some reason
they never started out there, but they'd
finally made it into her bed. Made "it" in
her bed, one last savoring time, to their now
equally sated exhaustion. "I never make them
either. It's not a Klingon New Year custom,
which meant my mother didn't encourage it.
And the way my life's gone, just taking
things as they come has been enough of a
challenge."
"I know what you mean." Tom pressed a light
kiss on B'Elanna's forehead, and wondered
briefly what had brought this subject to her
mind. "Taking things as they come, that's
pretty much the only way you can live your
life. One day, one moment at a time. New
Year's resolutions are just so many empty
promises made under undue pressure, and
almost always broken in the end."
"Right," B'Elanna agreed quietly. "No empty
promises. Whatever happens, happens." Tom
just murmured an unintelligible agreement,
and she sighed softly. Right, she thought.
The moment was all that mattered. She didn't
need anything else. She didn't need
promises. Just this moment.
Almost all her life, since the day her
father's arms were no longer there to hold
her, she'd been searching for a place where
she fit, just one place in the Universe where
she truly belonged. She hadn't even realized
what she was looking for until she'd ended up
on Voyager, and she'd begun to feel that
she'd finally found a home. And laying in
the circle of Tom's arms right now, that
sense of was belonging was complete. It was
a wonderful feeling, an intoxicating feeling.
But sometimes- just sometimes- it made her
want to pull away and run.
B'Elanna's hand curled into a tight fist
against Tom's chest and she consciously
relaxed it. She felt Tom's arm tighten
around her shoulder and his other hand closed
gently over hers as if to hold her there.
She wanted to tell him she wasn't going
anywhere, not right now, but she didn't
speak. She didn't want to force any promises
from him, or to offer any herself. In case
they couldn't keep them, in case these
moments didn't last. In case she let herself
really believe in something again, only to
watch it slip away from her. Again.
Tom shifted slightly, nudging her tighter
against him. B'Elanna glanced up and saw
that his eyes were closed, and his mouth
relaxed, in the soft way that made him look
so young. She rested her head against his
shoulder again, her cheek pressed against his
warm smooth skin, her hand held in his
against his chest, over the steady comforting
beat of his heart.
A New Year's resolution. Maybe she could
make one just this once, just to herself. No
one else had to know. She could resolve to
believe, just a little. To ignore the self
protective streak inside her, the part that
held onto the fear that Tom's love would
consume her, or worse, that the loss of his
love would empty her completely. To try and
quench the need to depend only on herself.
To really, finally let someone else all the
way in. Because being with Tom, admitting
her feelings to him, had changed her. But
being honest with him, and with herself, had
made her stronger, not weaker.
A resolution, she thought sleepily, forming
the words in her mind. Yes...I, B'Elanna
Torres, will do everything in my power to
make this relationship work. And screw
anyone who doesn't think I can do it. No
matter how much we fight, no matter that
sometimes I just want to punch him, no matter
if I don't always understand what he wants,
or he doesn't always understand what I want,
no matter if I don't even completely
comprehend the depths of these feeling
between us. They're real, and for me this is
the best it's ever been, really the only time
it's ever been. Even when it's hard, even
when I want to quit trying, quit believing
that I can have something that I've always
thought was impossible, I won't. I just
won't. No matter what, a year from now, I'll
still be here, we'll still be here, together.
I'll make that happen somehow. I will...I
promise...
Tom felt B'Elanna's body relax completely
against him and heard her breathing slowly
fall to a soft, steady rhythm. He'd been
half asleep but something had brought him
back to consciousness. He sighed softly, not
remembering when he'd held a woman in his
arms and felt so completely...at peace.
Which seemed ironic, considering he was
holding the most temperamental, passionate,
occasionally even hostile, woman he'd ever
known. A woman he loved, more than he'd
believed possible, even if some small, self
defensive reaction deep inside kept him from
completely admitting the true depth of his
feelings to himself, and to her. She wasn't
the only one who sometimes found it easier to
hide behind moments of denial, rather than
face down the naked truth.
No promises. He'd said it, and she'd said it
back. No doubt it was better that way.
Making promises was chancy, even without the
specter of their individual pasts. In his
own darker past the few promises he'd made
had rarely been kept. And he was certain
most the promises she'd received in her life
had been broken. He didn't want to do that
to her again, he wouldn't put that kind of
pressure on her. Or maybe, a cowardly voice
whispered inside, on himself.
No. He could make a promise, if not out loud
to B'Elanna, then silently, to himself. A
New Year's resolution, for once vowing that
he wouldn't forget it, or dismiss it, or
laugh while tossing down drinks in a bar
about how many days he'd lasted before
breaking it. This one, to B'Elanna, he
wouldn't break. Not ever.
Tom's finger's threaded though B'Elanna's and
held her hand tightly where it rested right
over his heart. I, Tom Paris, he thought
silently, resolve to love this woman, no
matter what happens. A small snort escaped
him. Why was he resolving to do something
that he already did every moment of every
day?
Okay, Tom amended, I resolve do everything in
my power to make this relationship work, to
prove to the Universe that love really is
enough. And to prove to B'Elanna that love
is enough, no matter what anyone else might
think or say.
Tom frowned. He knew that there were some on
Voyager- not many, but a few- who were
prophesizing the doom of their relationship.
Probably even taking bets on it. He'd heard
the occasional whispers. *They're too much
alike.* *They have nothing in common.*
*What does she see in him?* *He'll just
destroy her Klingon spirit, then he'll dump
her. It's what he's good at.* *What does he
see in her?* *With that vicious temper
she'll end up breaking all his bones.* *What
can they possibly see in each other?* *It
must just be one of those sexual things,
it'll burn out soon enough.* *They'll never,
ever last.*
Clueless. That's what the naysayers are, Tom
thought dismissively, if they can't see
beyond the surface, past their own
preconceived notions. Or beyond the past
itself, to see that he and B'Elanna weren't
the same people they had been when they'd
boarded Voyager. They had changed, but they
were more- better- individually and together.
B'Elanna stirred slightly and her leg inched
inbetween his, entangling them closer
together. Tom smiled and enjoyed the
sensation of B'Elanna's soft skin brushing
his. Their hearts and souls were no less
entangled now, he thought, even if they both
had to fight the defensive urge to pull away
from that bond on occasion.
A New Year's resolution, the first
in...however many years. He would do it.
Maybe he couldn't predict what would happen
during the coming year. Where Voyager would
end up, what kinds of challenges the ship and
everyone on board might have to face. Being
on Voyager was truly the Great Unknown, and
nothing could be expected to remain constant.
Except one thing, Tom vowed silently, his
lips pressing gently against the silky
strands of B'Elanna's hair then moving to
rest against the soft skin over her smoothly
defined brow ridges. When this year was
over, he and B'Elanna would still be
together, then and beyond. No matter what
obstacles they had to overcome, no matter how
many ups and downs they had to face, they
would find a way to make it work. Because
nothing in his life before had been more
worth the effort than the woman now sleeping
in his arms.
"I promise you, B'Elanna," Tom whispered
just before sleep claimed him. "We'll make
it work. We'll make it last. I promise..."
***********
The end.
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