The Wide World of Business
By now, you are the most loved and respected person on the NG. All
the whiny little bitches want to be just like you. They should be mailing
you the keys to GW as I type this. Now that you are the CEO of Games
Workshop, you would probably like some advice from your favorite whiny
little bitch, me. Three things to keep in mind:
1) Raise prices: you can never make a large enough profit and any
normal person would be glad to be whatever price you charge for the
precious white metal. And while the whiney little bitches will whine as
always, they will still spend spend spend.
2) Target a younger audience. You can never target a young enough
audience. Get the Space Marines into cradles if you can, and remember,
"shove it down their throat with a soft sell." GW products are as
addictive as crack, and the sooner you get them hooked, the more product
they will buy.
3) Blackmail independent retailers. This should be simple. Even if a
retailer only sold $200 of GW product last month, there is no reason why
they should not be able to sell 20-40 Mighty Fortresses on the day of it's
release. Of course, it goes without saying that any retailer that sells
product below retail price is stealing it. Anyone who does a large enough
volume of sales to afford to discount is a)not a retailer and b)not
selling games. Games stores sell at retail or are stealing from you!
I hope this helps you in your new position at GW.
your favorite whiny little bitch,
--
Matthew Maggio
(
geocities.com/area51/crater/8435) (
geocities.com/area51/crater) (
geocities.com/area51)