How to Annoy Other People:

1. Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper.
2. In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others you "like it that way."
8. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
9. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
10. Honk and wave to strangers.
11. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash register.
12. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
13. type only in lowercase.
14. Don t use any punctuation either
15. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
16. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?",  "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
17. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
18. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
19. Ask people what gender they are.
20. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
21. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
22. Sing along at the opera.
23. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook and mutter something about " psychological   profiles."
25. Tell your friends 5 days prior, that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

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