Fox Mulder’s Apt.
2:12 p.m.
Fox Mulder sat with his friends, the Young Jedi Knights, one Saturday afternoon. Together, they watched one of those weird paranormal news shows that he loved so much. As the show went to commercial break it showed a clip of an up coming story "later in this broadcast" about a strange ship spotted in the Washington D.C. area.
"Oh great, it looks like they mistook the Rock Dragon for a UFO again. When will they learn?" Jacen remarked. Mulder, who had been reclining comfortably on his couch, suddenly sat up with a start.
"What is wrong Agent Mulder?" Tenel Ka asked.
"Crap. I just remembered that today is Scully’s birthday and I forgot to get her something."
"Well what are we waiting for. I looks like we have some shopping to do."
* * *
So Jaina, Jacen, Tenel Ka, and Lowie followed Mulder down stairs to his rented Mercury Intrigue only to find a darkly dressed man puffing on a Morley cigarette, waiting for them.
"@#*%, Cigarette-Smoking Man, what the *&%# do you want?" Mulder inquired, colorfully.
The Cigarette-Smoking Man took a long drag on the cigarette he was holding. He held in the smoke and rolled the cigarette around, between hi fingers as if savoring the flavor before finally blowing it out. "I can’t let you get Agent Scully a birthday present."
"Why not?"
"Because is goes against the Syndicate’s Master Plan, why else?"
"What if I choose to take out my gun and blast you into a million itsy-bitst pieces? That would sure solve a lot of peoples problems."
"You could do that, Agent Mulder, or you can join me. Your skills could be very beneficial to my associates. Besides if you shot me you would be no better that we are."
Mulder aimed his gun straight for the Cigarette-Smoking Man’s heart. "I’m willing to take that chance."
Just as Mulder was about to squeeze the trigger, a battered cargo ship hovered above, blast canons trained on the Cigarette-Smoking Man. This little diversion proved to be just what Mulder and the Young Jedi Knights needed to escape. The five of them piled in to Mulder’s car, Lowie up front, the twins and Tenel Ka squished in back.
Jaina into her pocket and pulled out her portable comm. link. "Is that you Zekk?"
"Sure is. Who was that guy, anyway?"
Mulder took the comm. from Jaina. "He is a member of a secret government agency called the Syndicate. A shadow organization, that is trying to keep the truth about extra-terrestrials on Earth hidden from the public. You see I am the key figure in an on going government charade to cover the truth about extra-terrestrials. It’s a global conspiracy actually, that reaches into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet. I’m an embarrassment to my peers, a joke to my friends the call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder who’s sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid, shouting to the heavens or who ever will listen, that the jig is up, the fix is in. And when it hits it’s going to be the &%#$ storm of all time." Satisfied, he passed the comm. back to Jaina.
"Sorry," she whispered to Zekk, "he gets a little preachy sometimes."
Jaina passed the link to Tenel Ka, "What brings you here friend Zekk?"
"Oh that, I almost forgot. I came to tell you that I discovered that the Cigarette-Smoking Man’s associates had taken control of all the stores in the D.C. area except Socks-R-Us."
"Well that just sucks," Mulder whined, "I guess we go there then."
* * *
Mulder and the Young Jedi Knights entered the giant foot shaped Socks-R-Us building in hopes of finding the perfect pair of socks to warm the feet of Dana Scully. There were red socks, blue socks, socks with stripes, and socks with little orange stars on them, but no socks that made Mulder think Scully. Well that wasn’t entirely true. Everything in the store made him think of his beautiful partner. Heck everything period made him think of her…but that’s another story that shall be told at another time.
Then he saw them. Black socks with pictures of little green men and silver spaceships all over them. They were perfect.
As Mulder crossed the aisle to get them, who should step in his path, but the Cigarette-Smoking Man. "Not you again!" Mulder shouted, "That’s it, I’m sick of you. Eat lead!"
"No Mulder. You can’t kill me. I am your fa-" BANG! A single shot silenced the Cigarette-Smoking Man’s confession. But Mulder hadn’t fired a single shot. Dumbfounded, he looked at the Young Jedi Knights foe an answer. All they could do was point to where the Cigarette-Smoking Man had been standing. There stood Darth Vader.
"I am so sick of people stealing my line!" he grumbled. In his hand he held a smoking blaster. Then Vader disappeared into a sparkly vapor, and Mulder was free to buy the socks for Scully
* * *
Later that evening Scully showed up at Mulder’s apartment with her wookie friend Lowbecca, who had been visiting her for her birthday. Lowbacca was instantly in love and the two were married the next day.
Scully loved love the alien socks because they reminded her of Mulder. They were also married the next day.
Jacen and Tenel Ka spent most of the evening flirting with each other. Yup, they were married the next day too.
As for Jaina and Zekk, they didn’t get married the next day. They had secretly eloped a month earlier, but they renewed their vows with everyone else.