Willow sat on the front steps to Sunnydale High. It was afternoon and it was hot. She was well on her way to a bad sunburn, but she didn't move. Not to go in search of shade, or sun screen lotion, or a cold soda. She wanted to suffer.
A shadow fell across her face, cheating her of even that bit of penance. "You're going to look like a boiled lobster if you stay there. You already look kind of pink. Like a wad of chewed up bubble gum."
"You were going shopping today. To look for sun hats," Willow said petulantly. Trust Cordelia not to ever give her a break, even in self-pity.
"Well, yeah, but I decided I ought to save something to shop for down in Mexico," the other girl said. "There's not going to be much else to do down there from the sounds of things." After closely scrutinizing the steps, she sat down next to Willow.
Willow said nothing, just beat her heels sullenly against the lower steps.
"Well, gee," Cordelia finally said, "for someone soaking up the rays, Little Miss Sunshine you're not. Not so easy having guys interested in you, is it?"
"How could he?" Willow blurted out. "Giles loved Ms. Calendar. How could he use her like that?"
Cordelia looked at her as if she were crazy -- not a first-time thing. "What are you talking about? Ms. Calendar's dead. If Drusilla gets an identity crisis, well it's no hair off Jenny's head. Bet she wouldn't be having this hissy fit about it anyway."
Willow scowled. "He shouldn't have done it. You don't use people's memories like that, even if they are dead. Not people you love anyway."
"All right then," Cordelia said disgustedly. "If you want to crawl back into your pathetic little shell of a pre- Buffy existence, fine. But all I can say is that you'd better put your magic books away, because somebody who's still thinking about love in a Barbi-and-Ken way shouldn't be messing around with that stuff. Giles loved Jenny, but he loves you. He did what he had to do to get you out of there. If you can't cope with that, tell him and let him move on."
Willow snuffled and wiped at her nose with her still- chafed wrist.
"Euwww. If you're going to blubber, here." Cordelia shoved a tissue at her.
"I don't know what to think," Willow finally said. "I love Oz. He's funny, he's cute. He -- he likes me a lot. And he hasn't ever done anything -- he's never wigged me out. Not in non-wolfy mode anyway. How can I love Giles too? Even after he -- And -- and I can't. I shouldn't. It's messy, and I'll hurt Oz, and there's no reason to love more than one guy. Why would I do that? Nothing good's gonna come of it."
"Oh well," said Cordelia. "Of course, you're going to fall for guys according to some logical plan. If it were that easy to control, do you honestly think I'd be with Xander? Might as well fall in love with a rich guy."
"What should I do, Cordelia?
"You're honestly asking me for an opinion? Despite your being wigged by that black magic Giles did and all?"
Willow nodded.
"Well --" Cordelia mused. "Let's see. You've got Oz: Musician -- that's a major plus. He's got a reputation as cool. He's only a year older than you, which is good because you can go out to the movies and smooch without worrying about who's watching. Matter of fact, you want to be seen with him because it ups your cool quotient. On the other hand he's short, he's follicly indecisive, if his band flops he's going to go nowhere because he doesn't want to do anything else, and there's that whole werewolf thing which is fine as long as you're satisfied with vanilla sex but could be a real hassle otherwise."
Willow blinked.
"Then there's Giles: British -- that's always a plus. He's tall and dresses okay -- better than Oz anyway. Older men know more -- plus he can get you into the over-21 clubs, if you can convince him to get his ass out of that library once in a while that is. He's weird, but not in a three times a month I-Was-A-Teenage-Werewolf way, so that's 36 hours a month more that you'd have with him. And you can enjoy your hickeys without fear of turning into a dog."
Willow rubbed at her neck.
"On the other hand, you cannot be seen at the Bronze with him, and everyone will think you have no boyfriend and therefore are a dork. He's a major workaholic. And he's always gonna put Buffy -- yuck -- ahead of you on his priority list. Then there's this whole issue of him wigging you out. I'll bet he gets even better at that with time."
"Oh," Willow said. "Good score list. But how do they add up?"
Cordelia considered. "You know, Ricky Shruggs is still asking me about you."
Willow moaned and hid her face on her knees.
"That's the wonderful world of guys," Cordelia said. "Great fun, huh? Do them both a favor, Willow. Make up your mind and stick with it. More than one serious guy at a time -- that's more than I'd want to take on. Disaster City for you."
"Thanks a lot," Willow said, not moving her head from her knees.
"You're welcome." Cordelia stood. "Okay. I'll see you at the end of the summer. Assuming that you guys don't seriously screw everything up and get yourselves killed between now and then. Keep an extra eye on Xander for me, will you? One of these days he's gonna try to do a Clint Eastwood at the wrong time and discover that he's PeeWee Herman instead."
"We'll be careful," Willow said with a sigh.
"Okay then." Cordelia shouldered her purse. "Hello, Oz. Nice hair color. Why don't you leave it at that for awhile?" She looked at Willow. "You can add early baldness to his scorecard."
Oz eyed Cordelia as she walked off. "She's keeping a scorecard on me?"
Willow laughed nervously. "She's keeping a scorecard on everyone."
He sat next to her. "So I've got the full moon out of the way for the month. You want to do a movie tonight?"
"Sure." Willow listlessly picked at a crack in the concrete.
"The movie line-up isn't that bad," Oz said. "But if you like, we can go to the video store and rent the 'Blues Brothers' again instead."
"Ok," she sighed.
A shadow fell across them, and Willow looked up into Giles' hazel eyes. She opened her mouth and shut it again, looking away.
"A lead?" Oz asked, nodding at the overnight case in the Watcher's hand.
"Yes," Giles said. "An acquaintance called this morning. There was a mention in a local newspaper about a teenage girl rescuing a couple from a gang attack. In San Diego. Willow . . .?"
She looked up at him again.
"How are you?" Giles said quietly.
"Okay," she said, trying to sound carefree -- but it only ended up sounding shrill to her own ears. She tried to smile at him, to meet his eyes, but found she could do neither. "Oz -- Oz and I are going to the movies tonight."
Nobody said anything for a long moment. Oz looked between the two of them. "We can do the video thing," he ventured.
"Well. Enjoy then," Giles said, with a weak smile. He turned to move down the steps.
Willow grasped Oz's hand as she watched the Watcher walk away. "Giles?"
He turned to look up at her.
"I -- I never thanked you. For getting me away from Drusilla last night, I mean."
Giles nodded. "You're welcome."
"When will you be back from San Diego?"
"I don't know," he said. "Until I either find Buffy, or exhaust all the leads."
"Okay then. Good luck."
Giles nodded again and turned to walk down the rest of the stairs and towards the staff parking lot.
"Do you need anything?" Oz said, pressing her hand between his.
Willow shook her head and rested one cheek on his shoulder. "I'm okay," she said, using Cordelia's balled-up tissue to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I'm set."
END