Title: Stronger
Author: XScout
Rating: PG
Classification: VA
Keywords: Character Death - hey, you know me ;)
Spoilers: Redux II, Fight The Future
Summary: The things that we cherish most in life are to be protected. No
matter what the cost.
Disclaimer: What part of NO dont you understand? No, the X-Files
characters are not mine. No, I will not make any money from this. No, I
have no money, so you cant sue me anyway. Everything is CCs and
10-13s, and all their other little branches. This is loosely based on
El Paso by Marty Robbins and I have shamelessly used some of the
lyrics.
Authors Note: So a character dies, so what? That doesnt mean you
shouldnt read it. Come on. Live dangerously. Then write me at
XScout@hotmail.com and let me know how your trip into the unsavory went.
**************
Stronger
**************
I had to do it. It wasnt like I had a choice.
Everyone sits back and thinks about how they could have changed the
present, what they could have done in the past to create
a different outcome in a certain situation. Why should I be any
different? Ive been doing it for the past twenty-five years, so
Ive had plenty of practice.
I could have gotten the gun sooner instead of staring at the light. I
could have grabbed onto her legs to keep her from floating
out that window instead of calling after her. I could have run straight
to the neighbors to get my parents instead of lapsing into
catatonia. Sure, I could have made different choices and maybe Samantha
would be here today if I had.
But I only had one choice this time.
Join us or she dies.
That is what he said to me. Took a long drag on his ever-present
cigarette and threatened me. Not with my life, not with my job, not with
my reputation. This time he didnt dangle tantalizing pieces of
information about my sister in front of me or offer to reveal the
truth to me. No. This time he knew how to get to me. How to pull my
strings and make me dance for him.
Threaten my partner.
I tried to take it in stride. Swallow the lump of terror in my throat
and laugh at him. You wont kill her.
Why not? His voice was level, not even a hint of surprise at my
response.
Because I will kill you before I allow you or any of your goons lay a
hand on her. I meant every word of it.
Who said anything about touching her? An exhale of smoke and vodka
soaked breath.
I faltered then. What was he saying? I narrowed my eyes at him and tried
to divine the meaning of that cryptic remark. I didnt
have to wait long for an answer to my unasked question.
No one need lay a hand on her. Just on a button. A trigger that will
send a signal to the chip in her neck, instructing it to shut
down its hosts nervous system.
It wasnt until my vision started to blacken that I realized I had been
holding my breath. I sucked air into my lungs, my mind
whirling with the implications of this mans words.
Of course, you could always have the implant removed. Cancer is a long
and painful way to die though.
Yes, it is. I know from experience. An experience that I do not wish to
repeat. I couldnt let that happen, not if it was in my
power to stop it.
I had long ago realized that Dana Scully had become a permanent fixture
in my heart. Exactly when, I cant say. But I do know
that without her, I would die. Maybe not physically, though the chances
of me not putting my own gun to my head would be
close to nil. A persons soul can rot away and die if it loses part of
itself. And I have no doubts whatsoever that Scully is the
other half of me.
I told her one night. Told her that she made me a whole person. A man
who speaks from the heart tells the truth. Although this
was a prelude to her being infected with an alien virus and being
abducted to Antarctica, I still do not regret what I said. I have
already proved that I would go to the ends of the earth for her,
sacrifice all that I am for her.
So what other choice did I have?
**********
I had to leave everything behind. From my clothes to my fish tank,
nothing could come with me. I had to disappear without a
trace. So all I took with me was the clothes I had on my back and the
shoes on my feet. Standing there in my apartment, surveying the shadowy
lair I had inhabited for so long, I felt no sorrow. One dark haven to
another, thats all. For an instant I wondered whether I was doing the
right thing, if I should have told her what was going on. But then her
face flashed in my mind, pale and hollow, deep rings under her eyes,
lying in a nest of machines.
I knew I had to do this. So I committed one last act of defiance by
pocketing a picture of her and then I walked out the door.
That was five months ago.
I became a member of the Syndicate, the shadow government that has
plagued my nightmares for the past six years. I learned
the truth that had been hidden from me for so long, saw
incontrovertible evidence concerning the existence of extra-terrestrial
biological entities, and yet I feel no joy at reaching the end of my
quest. Whom would I share it with?
I have witnessed things that no one should see, committed acts that make
me sick to my stomach, been a party to actions that are classified as
treasonous, and I have broken more laws than I could ever count. I
accept my instructions without asking questions, execute my duties
without hesitation, and have never betrayed the confidence that They
have put in me. I have become a model member of the conspiracy with no
regrets.
Not during the days at least. At night, I lie awake, staring at her
picture. My fingers have caressed it so often that the edges are
worn and the color had begun to fade. Sometimes the tears come,
wrenching sobs that wont stop until I am too exhausted to
continue. Other times, I just look, memorizing each and every detail.
Even if I didnt have a photographic memory, I would
have every plane, every angle, etched into my soul.
I have seen the future. And it scares me. Not colonization, not mass
genocide, not the destruction of everything the world has
ever known. I cant tolerate the thought of living without her. Being
alone is what scares me.
**********
Trust no one.
Words to live by. Lucky for me, Cancerman didnt quite follow the simple
rule. For some unknown reason, he trusted me. Told
me all his dirty little secrets, gave me the most sensitive information
on the project. He probably counted on the fact that I
wouldnt risk Scullys life.
He was right.
But he should have been a bit more careful about what he let me have
access to. Did he really think I wouldnt try to find a way
to free her from the control of the chip? That I wouldnt make a copy of
every piece of evidence he passed my way?
Its not risking her life if I have the cure.
And have it I do. Stored on a disk that is tucked away in my coat
pocket. Every sordid detail I have gathered on the Syndicate
and their Project is all here, ready to be downloaded. My personal
record of my dealings with the Devil, the reasons behind it,
they are all there, along with countless others. The very first file is
the formula that will set Scully free.
All I have to do is get it to her.
**********
So here I am, traveling down the black highway, counting the seconds. It
wont be long before they realize Im gone and figure
out where Im heading. And they will try to stop me. They dont know
that I have the disk, but they do know that I have an
eidetic memory, and that makes me alone almost as dangerous.
It has occurred to me that they may decide to flip the switch that will
extinguish the vibrant flame that is my partner, but I doubt
it. If she dies, they know nothing will stop me from exposing the entire
operation that they have so assiduously guarded. They
would kill me before allowing that to happen.
Even knowing this, I do not care that my life is forfeit. There is only
one life worth saving and nothing is going to stop me. She is
the only person who I have ever loved without reservation and I refuse
to let her go on for another day without knowing that.
Maybe tomorrow a bullet may find me but tonight nothing is worse than
this pain in my heart.
Dawn is fast approaching and I once again curse at my misfortune of
obtaining a motorcycle as transportation. It was the only
vehicle that was available and I was too anxious to care. But now I
realize that it wasnt such a bright idea. It will be easier to
spot me than if I were in a car. Certainly much easier for them to take
shot at me.
As though Fate decided to turn my thoughts into reality, I spot a black
sedan following me, trying to be inconspicuous. As if I
wouldnt recognize the standard issue Syndicate car. Ive driven them
often enough. I am only minutes away from Scullys
apartment, so I exchange stealth for speed. They know I have spotted
them and they increase their speed as well, their tires
screeching on the damp asphalt.
I turn a corner sharply and I lose control all of a sudden. The fading
street lights spin around me and water sprays in my face,
kicked up by my tires. Then I am moving forward again, by some miracle
still seated on the motorcycle. My love is strong and
it pushes me onward, flying down the streets, putting my driving skills
to the test. They are gaining on me and are now drawing
their guns, ready to kill the man who has worked by their side for the
past five months.
Bullets whiz by, hissing in my ears as they come within millimeters of
their target. I dont waver from my course, make no
attempts to dodge the hailstorm of bullets. Scullys apartment looms
before me and I prepare myself to make a mad dash for
the door. Something is dreadfully wrong, for I feel a deep burning pain
in my side. Though I am trying to stay on the
motorcycle, Im getting weary, unable to ride. The cycle topples to the
ground on her lawn, throwing me to the right. I can
hardly get my legs and arms to respond to my minds screams to move. I
am so tired, my eyes threatening to close and end the
chase right here. But my love for Scully is strong and I rise where Ive
fallen, drawing my weapon. Shouting and shooting, I
cant let them catch me, Ive got to make it to Scullys front door.
Just as I reach the porch, I turn to gauge the distance between me and
my pursuers. I see the metallic glint of light on a gun
barrel, I feel the bullet go deep in my chest. My legs buckle underneath
me and I collapse onto the hard concrete. The car pulls
up and the men begin to emerge. Suddenly, gunfire erupts and bullets
pepper the hood of the black sedan. The men duck back
inside and drive away without waiting to find out who was firing on
them, having decided that I was dead.
From out of nowhere, Scully has found me, kissing my cheek as she kneels
by my side, telling me that everything is going to be
okay. A gun in her right hand, her phone in the left, I can hear her
calling for paramedics. I want to tell her that as long as shes
with me, it will always be okay. But I barely have enough breath to get
out what I do.
Everything is on the disk. I gasp as I push the bloody compact into
her hand, hoping that shell understand.
Oh Mulder, what have you done? she whispers as she tucks the disk away
in her clothes. She has somehow divined the
essence of what was behind my disappearance. She knows that I made a
deal which would save her from the trappings of the
Syndicate. Why?
I push aside the weakness and strain to sit up enough to reach her. I
gently press my lips against her own, savoring her taste
through the tang of blood. My love is stronger than my fear of death.
Darkness is swirling in on me, sounds and sight wavering as my body
shudders in pain. I feel her hot tears spatter on my cheek
and I can hear the sorrow in her voice as she whispers, Mine is just as
strong.
Cradled by two loving arms that Id die for, one last brush of the lips,
and we are both set free.
*********
End
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