"Midnight Sun" by Duran Duran, from Medazzaland

The grocery bags land on the kitchen table with an ungraceful thud, and Mulder flinches. The house in which he spent his childhood seems to resent its human residents. For years, only dust and moths occupied it, and Mulder thinks that he has no right to be here - no right to disturb the fragile peace that it acquired. He should have sold this place a long time ago.

He knows that it's not the best hiding spot. His family history holds more secrets for him than for the outsiders; sooner or later, it will be found. Time is all he can hope for, all he can buy in this unfriendly retreat.

Today or tomorrow, his sister will remember that this is home, the place in which they staged childhood pranks, where they argued and unwrapped their birthday presents, where he missed her so after she went away.

"Are you back, Sam?" Mulder asks aloud, though she is not there to hear him. "How was your life? Who have you become?"

He chokes on his words as the house recedes into silence again. It would be easier if Scully was there - she would bring life even to this stale house by the sea. For a moment, he contemplates the turned-off cellular phone. He has become too dependent on her. Resolutely, he turns to the bags of groceries and starts to load the refrigerator and cupboards.

The items he selected so carefully at the store seem poor choices to Mulder right now. He doesn't know Samantha's taste, and he can't even recall what she liked to eat when she was little. A more important question begs to be asked but he ignores it stubbornly.

She can be happy here with him. They can find each other again.

He shoves the empty bags away and walks down the hall, to invite his sister to lunch. The door is open, revealing an empty room, and he is newly terrified of losing her again, for the second and last time. He leans against the wall, trying to slow down his pulse, waiting until his vision clears again.

Mulder circles around the house once, twice, until he finds the fresh footsteps. He retraces the delicate path she's left behind, all the way down to the ocean. The sound of surf is stronger now, and he runs towards the haunted figure sitting on the beach, relief engulfing him like a safety net, sure that she will reach her hands out towards him, will smile at him with recognition.

Samantha turns around, the warmth of her expression astounding him, until he realizes that she meant it for someone else. The corners of her mouth fall slowly, and she resumes her contemplation of the ocean. The waves are docile as they lap her toes, the wind that they bring caresses her long hair gently.

Mulder drapes his jacket over her shoulders, knowing only too well that the gesture will remain unnoticed. He is an outsider - an intruder upon this idyllic scene. Abruptly, he starts to walk away. The miracles are hard to come by, but he still hopes that she will call out his name, will run to catch up with him.

It doesn't happen, and he glances over his shoulder one last time.

Her hands glide over the water that the tide brings, and he thinks that the ocean gives her something she could never receive from him.

The sensation of coming home.

Back to Fire Eaters index

Look at Soundtrack