The song used in this section is Two Step. The lyrics were written by Dave Matthews. The song is sung by the Dave Matthews Band. It is on the CD/tape Crash. Special thanks goes to Darqstar and her husband for not kicking me when I insisted on playing this song over and over and over again. That is one terrific song. Special thanks also goes to my bud, Jazz, who was willing to play the acoustic version for me, so I could hear how it would sound.
Part Fourteen
"Remy, you're crazy!" Rhiannon shrieked her eyes wide.
"Why am I crazy?" Remy asked, going over to the kitchen table and grabbing an ashtray and his cigarettes. He returned, putting the ashtray on the table and handing her the pack. She grabbed it from him, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.
"Because what you're suggesting... How could you? Especially after I told you what happened to Bobby!" She inhaled furiously on the cigarette the exhaled; two streams of smoke pouring from her nose. With the angry expression her face was sporting, she looked rather like a dragon. She tossed the pack back to him.
He caught it and flipped the box open, taking a cigarette out for himself. "You also tole me dat you know more 'bout it now den you did when it 'appened wit' Bobby. Bobby was an accident. In dis case, it would be both of us agreein'."
"Sure, you want me to fuck you up, so it's perfectly all right," she snapped, rising from the sofa and walking over to the window, looking out over the lake. "You want to become some sort of zombie? My little love slave?"
"I t'ought you could do t'ings to prevent it," Remy said, looking at her back.
"I can, but I've never done it before, at least not on purpose. Stealth has told me what to do, how to make it so it's a bonding, not a slavery sort of thing, but until I do it, I don't know if I can really make it work." She whirled around to face him, leaning on the window ledge. "What if I screw up and mess up your mind like I did with Bobby? Damn it, he can't even remember me, I don't think I could deal with that sort of thing again!"
"I t'ought you said you could end a bond you'self, if you 'ad to," Remy said, looking at her, his head tipped to one side. "Even if t'ings did go wrong, dere wouldn' be any need t'have de professor do to me what he did to Bobby."
"Yeah, I could do that, but damn it, Remy, do you understand what this means? You and I will be able to communicate mentally, just like I can do with other vampires, but this is just the two of us. You'll know my thoughts... I'll know yours."
"Is dis an involuntary t'ing?" Remy asked. "Will you be able t'go poking around in my head any time you wan' to?"
She shrugged. "Probably. But you can also stop me. Maybe not at first, but if what Stealth has told me is right, you'll know when I'm up there," she pointed to her head, "and if you don't want me to be, you can, well, push me out. Or, decided where you want me to be. There are mental walls everyone learns to erect automatically, because sometimes you just don't want people to know your thoughts. It would probably be easier for you to learn how to deal with it, because you've been trained to combat psi powers. But Remy, why do you want to do this?"
"I dunno," he admitted. "I keep tellin' myself it's because then I'd know if you were in trouble. Even if I wasn' dere, you could call me. If I was near, I could show up an' help."
"Yeah, that whole knight in shinning armor business," she sneered. "'Do what you want to me,'" she cried out in a deep, mock-masculine voice. "'Just leave the girl alone!' How friggin' noble of you."
"It ain't jus' dat t'ought!" he protested, rising from the couch and walking over to her. "If it were jus' dat, I could t'ink of a million reasons why we shouldn't do it."
"Then what else is it?" she demanded. She flicked the half-smoked cigarette into the fireplace and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I don' know," he said confessed, shrugging. "Maybe it's because from what you've tole me, dis is one of your ways to get close to someone."
"My ways," she said, eyes narrowing and changing colors rapidly from blue to green to brown and then to red. "Like I'm the goddamned representative for all vampire kind. Sweet spirits above; I'm only half vampire. I'm not any judge of what is right or wrong. Tell me, LeBeau, is there some secret mutant ritual we can perform instead? Burn a couple Sentinels over an open fire and chant Xavier's name while they fry?"
He frowned. This conversation, like many he had with Rhiannon, was not going as he hoped it would. "No one tole me of any mutant rituals, mebe dey tole you instead. You one, too."
"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me. Half vampire, half human, half mutant entirely fucked up. Lord, Remy, you sure pick winners."
"Dis is not going to turn into a discussion of how messed up you are," Remy said firmly. "Turn de record over, Rhiannon, dis side gettin' dull."
Her eyes narrowed into steely slits. "What do you want me to say, Remy?"
"Tell me more about it. Explain what it means. You keep sayin' it's bad, it's dangerous. I can't judge because I don' know everyt'in' dere is to know about it. What makes it good an' what makes it bad?"
She closed her eyes, swallowing hard. "I-it's good for the reasons you mentioned, being able to know if someone is in trouble and those sort of things. It can be bad for that reason too. What if you're in some threatening situation with the X-Men and suddenly you know I'm in trouble? How is that going to help?"
"Okay, dat is a definite disadvantage," Remy said, nodding. "But I suppose dat can be worked out. When I'm wit' de X-Men on some life or death sort of t'ing, I wouldn' want to be splittin' my t'oughts between you and de situation. Dat could be dangerous to everyone, agreed?"
Rhiannon nodded.
"So, in situations like dat, would I be able to... turn off the bond, so to speak?"
She thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, once you were trained, you probably would. If, and I mean if, we were to bond, I would want to make sure you retained your free will. I-I'm not going to have another Bobby on my hands."
"I can understand dat," he said, "An' trust me, Rhiannon, I don' wan' to end up like Bobby. I don' want to t'ink I 'ave no free will and I don' want the Professor to 'ave to go through my head an' take out every memory of you to cure me."
"Then why do you want this?" she asked. "Skip the knight in shinning armor, skip the 'this is your way,' bullshit. Let's cut to the chase, why do you want to know my thoughts? Why do you want me to know yours? Do you want to be able to speak in my head? Do you want me to be able to wander freely around your mind?"
"Would dat be so bad?" he asked, faint trace of a smile on his face.
"Well, it would make it a bitch for you to throw me a surprise party."
He would have sworn he saw a grin on her face. Not a deep one, but a small, fleeting grin that was gone as soon as it started. "Admit it, Rhiannon, part of you wouldn' mind dis, would you?"
"Do I have to be honest?"
"Oui, Rhian. It's only fair. I'm bein' honest wit' you."
She walked back over to the couch and sat down. "Okay, in all honesty, there is a part of me that would like it. I-I don't know what a real bonding is like, because Bobby was a botch job. But I understand it can be sorta-nice. I-I can see where being able to share each others thoughts could be...comforting."
He reached out and took her hand, holding it gently in his own. "Rhiannon, what's de harm in givin' dis a try? If it doesn't work, we, or you at least, could end it, couldn't you?"
"Yes," she said, softly, twining her fingers with his. "Actually, you might be able to end it yourself, if that's what you really wanted. It-it's a matter of will, I believe. When you bond with someone, you both agree to open your souls to each other. It's sort of like when I feed from you, only we're both able to do it."
"You can poke around my mind when you feed from me?" he asked.
She shrugged. "Yeah, I can. I mean, I don't, generally. Usually when I'm feeding, the point is to push the rapture and get through to enough of the memory center to erase the memory of the bite. With you, I don't erase the memory anymore, but usually I worry more about feeding the rapture into you. I-I don't think it would be a very pleasant experience for you if I didn't, being bitten and feed from and all."
He nodded, saying nothing.
"According to Stealth, there are two reasons to bond someone. You do it because you want to have control over someone. That is the easiest and that's what happened with Bobby. Basically, you control them completely; they become obsessed with you. It's mental slavery. The second reason is to share souls, to become as close to another person as you can. It's not something to be done hastily, or 'just because.'" She looked at him. "Remy, I don't know if you quite realize what you're asking here. I don't think you've gotten over Rogue."
His brow furrowed. "You know 'bout Rogue?"
She nodded. "The first time I fed from you... it was a new mind to me and I picked up a lot of things. I-I know the only reason why you came into the club that night was because you were upset over her. No, I don't know the exact details of the relationship, but she was uppermost in your mind. And I know she broke up with you."
He nodded, looking away from her and out the window instead. "I loved her, Rhiannon. I knew it was hopeless... Rogue can' touch someone without absorbing their memories, their powers."
"That kinda puts the kibosh on bumping uglies," Rhiannon remarked.
He chuckled despite himself. Nothin' like reducing it to the basics, he thought. "Oui. But dat never stopped 'ow I felt 'bout her. I guess I always figured if we were meant to be, we'd find a way around dat. Oh, I wasn' stupid, I didn' t'ink dat love would conquer de problem. Dat's for fairy tales. I jus' t'ought we'd work a way around it. I was willin' to be celibate if it meant dat I could have her."
"Coming from you, that is incredible," Rhiannon remarked.
"What you saying?" he asked, looking back to her.
"Remy, the way you act, the way you move, you can tell sex is important to you. I'm not judging you, sex is important to me too."
He shrugged. "Dere was a time in my life I considered it very important. If someone had tole me five years b'fore I met Rogue that I would get involved in a relationship like dat, I would have t'ough yeah, right. But it 'appened."
"And it didn't work out," she said softly. "So you went to the club and met me."
"Is dat so bad?" he asked. "We all come from someplace b'fore we meet. Where were you at?"
"Picking up guys and fucking them for blood," she answered bluntly.
"You don' 'ave to do dat anymore," he said. "I can feed you."
She raised her finger to her lips and began tapping on her front teeth with the nail of her index finger. "The point is, I'm not coming from any relationship since Bobby and that was awhile ago. Up until recently, you were in love with someone. Very much in love. And I don't want to bond with you unless you know you're over it."
"I am," he said. "Chere, Rogue met someone else. His name is Joseph. Yeah, I didn' like de idea at first, but I'm startin' t'see dat maybe dey were meant to be. He... he's better for her dan I am."
"Are you sure you really feel that way?" she asked. "That you aren't just trying to justify it in your mind? Tell yourself enough and eventually you'll believe it?"
"I don't know," he said, honestly. "I do know dat not'ing is ever gonna 'appen wit' Rogue an' I. She belongs wit' Joseph. An' I know dat idea doesn' upset me nearly as much as it did de night I met you."
She nodded. "You make some good points, Remy. Tell you what,"
"What?"
"Give yourself a day to think about it," she advised him. "Last night is too fresh in your mind. You need some time to think about what all this really means. If you can come to me tomorrow night and say you want this, then we'll do it."
He had not wanted to do what she suggested, give himself the time to think about it. Then again, he admitted to himself that he could be impatient when it came to some things. She accused him of being afraid he would change his mind and did not want to risk it. Perhaps she was right. This was not something to be entered into lightly. It had not been easy when Rogue had seen inside his mind, did he really think it would be any easier for Rhiannon? Of course, Rhiannon had already seen into his mind and had not freaked, which was a comfort in its own way.
He did not tell anyone of this, not any of the X-Men. He knew it was because they would try to talk him out of it, but he told himself the reason was because it was no ones business but his and Rhiannon's.
The next day, he threw himself into X-Men mode; going through danger room exercises both alone and with different members. Being the good soldier for Scott Summers and the gang. He knew the truth though; he was doing it to keep his mind off that night, because he knew what his answer would be.
As soon as it was dark, he got on the bike and headed to Rhiannon's cabin.
When he got to the clearing, he could see the orange glow of a small fire. Parking the bike by the cabin, he looked. Rhiannon was down by the lake with Stealth, sitting around a small circle of rocks, which contained the fire. It was an overcast night, so the only light that illuminated the area was the fire. Although he was sure they had heard the bike, neither of them was looking in his direction. He watched them for a moment, to see what they were doing.
Rhiannon was wearing the same pair of leather pants she wore the first night Remy had come to the cabin, the ones that laced up the sides. Above, she was wearing nothing but a strip of suede, about six inches wide, tied around her breasts, barely covering them. Her hair was long and loose, the front tied into two small braids, then wound around to the back of her head and held by a small, silver barrette. She was leaning close to Stealth, who was wearing a pair of well-worn jeans and no shirt. His long, black hair was loose and straight, hanging into his face. He had an acoustic guitar in his lap, the fingers of his right hand wrapped around the neck. Rhiannon's hand was on top of his. "Like this, Stealth," she said, softly, "C'mon, I know you can do it. You're just messing with me."
Seeing Stealth in this situation, so different from the other night when he was fighting for the life of his friend, gave Remy a different perspective on the man. He looked so young practically still a boy. Also, he noticed for the first time how...thin he was, almost to the point of emaciation. His ribs stuck out from his chest, although his arms looked to have some muscle to them. He did not look threatening at all; in fact he looked...vulnerable. If Remy had not seen the fight with his own eyes, he never would have believed Stealth capable of hurting anyone. A t'ree hun'red year old kid, Remy thought. He couldn' 'ave been more'n nineteen when he was changed. He almost felt sorry for the guy, what a rotten way to go through eternity, barely looking old enough to vote, never mind get into a bar.
Stealth pulled away from Rhiannon's hand, still holding the guitar and grinned at her. She reached out and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "Fine then, you think you're so great, do it!"
He started to play the guitar, his fingers moving awkwardly over the strings, as if his hand was composed of five thumbs. Rhiannon winced. "That's it, ya bastard, slaughter it."
Suddenly, Stealth's expression changed and his fingers started flying over the strings rapidly, playing effortlessly and flawlessly into the night. The song sounded familiar to Remy, but he could not quite place it.
Rhiannon grinned, clapping her hands like a kindergarten teacher, pleased with a finger-painting done by a beloved student. "That's it, Stealth!"
Stealth ignored her, and continued playing. His fingers still flying over the strings, he looked up, right into Remy's eyes. His expression did not change; he just looked at him. Remy looked back, not taking his eyes off him. If he wanted to play the stare-down game, Remy could play it. I don' know if I like you yet or not, Remy thought.
Stealth's eyes softened slightly, although his expression remained the same, his fingers still moving over the guitar so fast they almost looked like a blur.
Rhiannon leaped up to her feet and ran over to him, obviously knowing Remy had been there all along, but not acknowledging him until this moment. She grabbed him by the hand, grinning and started leading him over to the fire. "Join us, lover."
"All right," He allowed her to lead him to the fire. Stealth looked up at him with a small nod, not stopping the guitar. Remy nodded back.
"Bring it around again," Rhiannon said to Stealth. She looked at Remy. "Can I get your opinion of a song? I'm thinking of doing it in the act, but I'm not sure it...fits me."
Remy shrugged. "I don' know if I'm any judge, but I'll give you my opinion. De song sounds familiar t'ough."
Rhiannon nodded. She and Remy were still standing. She moved away from him, only a couple of steps. Stealth had brought the song around again and was playing a bit slower, gaining speed as he went along. Rhiannon closed her eyes, moving with the rhythm, a soft, gentle expression on her face. Her eyes opened, and she looked into Remy's eyes, singing in a high, clear, voice that sounded almost as if it belonged in the quiet night.
Say, my love, I came to
you with
best intentions
You laid down and gave to me just what
I'm seeking
Say, Love you drive me to distraction
Remy had never been one to like singing around a campfire, not that he ever had many chances to do much of that, but it always seemed faintly...wrong, as if the voices in the night were trying to chase away the night, chase away nature and turn it into something safe, something civilized. This was different though, Rhiannon's voice blended in with the night, blended in with the trees. It seemed as natural as breathing, as the water lapping gently to the shore. Tipping his head to one side, he listened.
Hey, my love do you
believe that we
might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this,
our flesh and blood
It ties you and me right up
Tie me down, oh yeah
She moved closer to him, her feet almost seeming to glide over the earth. She took his hands in hers, her fingers closing around them, her eyes shinning as if to make up for the lack of stars in the sky.
Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for
certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
These things we cannot change
He recognized the song now, but Rhiannon was remaking it into her own, not changing the words, but adding her own personal feelings behind them. It was a song of love and sadness, yet a celebration of life and love, in both its good and bad. Life is short, but worth it if you walk the path with someone. Try you might to believe you would be better off alone it was all bullshit. The only thing that made the time worthwhile, that made the shortness of it bearable was going through it with someone to share it all. Yet, in that very sharing, it made it sad too, because you knew your time with them was so fleeting. Rhiannon might be part vampire, but she was only half immortal, she was still tied to this earth with flesh and blood.
Hey, my love, you
came to me like
wine comes to this mouth
Grown tired of water all the time
You quench my heart and oh, you
quench my mind
She grabbed his hands and started moving, a private dance. It seemed only natural that he follow her lead, moving with her. Under any other circumstances, Remy would have felt foolish; alone out in the woods with wolf-boy and this strange, half vampire creature, listening to her singing, pouring part of her heart and soul into every note, but tonight, he did not. There was a certain... rightness to all of this, as if he had been waiting part of his life for this moment.
She brought their hands out to either side of them; their arms straight out then raised them to the sky, moving closer. He could feel her breath on his face as she sang, her voice getting stronger, more powerful, her eyes glittering in a private celebration of just the two of them and the night that surrounded them:
And say,
Celebrate we will
Because life is short but
sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
The things we cannot
Celebrate you and me,
climbing
two by two, to be sure
these days continue things we
cannot change
He almost forgot about Stealth, except for the guitar that cried out into the night, blending with Rhiannon's voice, enhancing it. It was as if the vampire had stopped existing as a being, and was now nothing more than an extension of Rhiannon, an extension of Remy himself and the night that seemed to be unfolding just for the two of them.
Oh, my love I came to
you
with best intentions
You laid down and gave to me
just what I'm seeking
She let go of his hands and brought her own down, running his hands over his chest, fingers splayed, then moving them to each side, sliding them down so they were on his waist, her fingers hooking into the belt loops of his jeans. His own hands moved to her shoulders, his arms on top of hers. As silly as it might seem, he suddenly wished he could sing better, that he knew the song as well as she did, just so he could have joined in with her, completing the song with the two of them:
Say, love watch me
Celebrate we will
Because life is short
but sweet for certain
We're climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue
Things we cannot change
Things we cannot change
When she stopped singing, Stealth continued playing, slowing it down, and getting quieter, as if trying to fade out. She moved closer, sliding her arms around him and pulling him closer. Her eyes were shut; the lashes fringed with tears as she hugged him tightly, fiercely, as if she intended to never let her go. He returned her embrace, holding her in his arms, not saying anything, just holding her, letting the song fade into nothing but an echo in the night air.
He had no idea of how long they stood there, holding each other. It might have been hours, or perhaps just seconds, but it felt like one of those times that spins itself into eternity. He had a notion of another reality spinning off of this one, and in that reality, they never did stop holding each other, but stayed that way forever, until they finally just faded into nothingness themselves. Perhaps it was not another reality, perhaps it was this one, and that part that never stopped embracing was part of themselves, a spirit of what they were, what they were to become.
"Do you still wish to bond with me?" she whispered.
Her voice was so soft; he almost did not hear the words. Almost. "Oui," he whispered into her ear, kissing it, his warm breath causing her to shiver, although the night was hot.
She pushed him to the ground, falling on top of him, onto the blanket of pine needles and leaves that carpeted the ground. Straddling his waist, she pushed herself up on her arms so she was looking down at him. Her eyes were blood red, the pupils seeming to disappear in a sea of blood. Her fangs pushed out from her jaw, dropping into place. She lowered herself on her arms so their chests were touching and sunk her fangs into his neck. There was that stinging sensation as his skin was pierced, then came the rapture, in headlong rush that spun his senses out of control. He forgot about everything, everyone, all he knew right now was that this was happening, her lips fastened around his neck, drinking not only his blood, but his life essence, drawing it into her with each mouthful. She was taking more from him than she had before, but it did not matter. She would not hurt him; he knew that.
Her mental voice was a jumble of words and emotions. Openup,Remy.Letithappen,whoyouarewhatyouare,openitallupandletmeseeit,letm efeelit!
He felt confused, not quite realizing what was happening, how to do what she asked of him. His bewilderment cut through him, into her, like a mental knife. Justrelaxandletithappen! She suggested as she pushed the rapture further into his mind, encircling all of it. You're automatically tryingtofightthis!
He relaxed that final bit, and as he did, he felt his mind opening, unfolding, and surrounding her. All he was, all he would ever be was now flowing into her, becoming part of her, as his blood became part of her. That'sitlover,firstthemindsthenthesouls,thenthebodies.allofit!
Whataboutyou? his mental voice cried into her mind. Youknowme,whataboutyou, Rhiannon?Iwanttoknowyou!
Soon!
She pulled away from his neck, sitting on him, her knees pressing into his thighs. The two puncture marks on his neck were still open and he could feel the blood trickling from them, spilling on to the ground. He looked up into her eyes, seeing not only her, but himself, reflecting from them. She was no longer Rhiannon at this moment; she was some cross between the both of them. She raised her wrist to her mouth and bit into it, as if biting into an apple, hard and fierce, ripping the skin. When she drew her head back, her own blood stained her teeth, dripped from her lips and down her chest. She held her bleeding wrist over his chest, spattering blood on his T-shirt. She brought it down to his mouth, blood dripping onto his lips. Drink!
He opened his mouth slightly, allowing some of her blood to drip in and run over his tongue. He was not sure what it would taste like and part of him was prepared to be repulsed, but he was not. There was the faint, coppery taste one associated with the taste of blood, but there was much more. Her blood tasted of light and darkness, of energy, life, and death, good and evil. He reached up and grabbed her wrist with both his hands, drawing it closer to his mouth, his lips fastening around the wound, sucking the blood into his mouth, drinking it greedily.
She leaned down and started drinking from his neck again, easing into his mind. As she did, her own mind opened up, and he found himself flowing into her, their minds, and thoughts melding into one. At that moment, he could not distinguish who was who, which memories were his or which were hers. It all rushed over him in a gigantic wave, drawing him into the undertow. He was Remy, he was Rhiannon, they were both, they were neither. It was as if some new being was being forged from the both of them. She drank his blood and he drank hers, in some endless circle of life and death. A new, yet familiar voice started speaking in their minds, Allweareall wewill everbeitallcomesdowntothiscommunionofblood!
Then another voice filled their mind, a different voice, neither hers nor his, nor the voice of both of them. Stop! It's too much!
They ignored it because it did not matter. All that did matter was what they were becoming, together.
Rhiannon, you're not just bonding, you're changing him!
Itdoesn'tmatter! It did not, either. Not then at least. Later it might, but as far as they were concerned, there was no later, there was only the now.
Stealth had leaped to his feet and was watched the two of them, his eyes growing wide with horror. He debated if he should rip them apart physically, but he knew it was too late. It had gone too far, and who knew what Remy was going to become now.
He fell to his knees, blood tears spilling on the ground and prayed to whatever gods and goddess's might be listening to help them both through this.
Authors Notes:
Have you ever been going along, writing a story, planning carefully what you were going to do next, plotting your next move, then when you actually sit down and work on a particular section, it goes haywire and what happens in it, surprise you?
That is what happened with this. I did not intend to this happen, at least not this soon. This is not what happened in the RPG that this whole story is based on. I tried to rewrite it twice to reflect what I had planned to happen, what happened in the game, but it did not work that way. It is as if the Rhiannon and Remy of this "reality" felt they must do their own thing.
Perhaps this is a good thing. It is rather exciting to see this story taking a direction I had not planned. I knew the former story like the back of my hand, now it has become fresh and new.
I would be interesting in knowing if people like this section or not. No, I am not begging, please don't write letters saying that I am and that I'm a terrible person for doing that. I am just asking if people are willing to tell me. This was a very strange writing experience for me, I've never written anything that just jumped away so badly from what I had planned. I'm very curious if this idea can work for me.