Hiya, all! I don’t actually have anything intelligent to say right here, but you know, I’m hard to shut up. Even when I don’t have anything important to say…hey, Jill-chan? How’s Dimando? You’re not wearing him out, are you? Saffir-sama will be highly annoyed if that’s been going on, but then again…I don’t think he’s forgiven his brother for sending the Dai’Shan over, <giggle>

To anybody else out there – don’t understand? Trust me, you don’t WANT to understand…but if you do, feel free to ask. It’s YOUR sanity, after all…J

by Celeste Goodchild

g to your honourg

________________________________________________________________________

Zoisite pounded the keys with heavy fingers, the sound so discordant it made her head ache. She honestly wanted to just sit and play for hours and hours like she had done for the past three months, but every time she went anywhere near the keys, her anger filled her with an apocalyptic rage. She couldn’t think straight like that, let alone play the beautiful music Madame Sophia had taught her.

Then she would have to play something from the earth realm. In the Dark Kingdom, she had gone nowhere near a piano. In fact, until she had been revived as Zoya Troubetzkoy, she hadn’t touched a piano since the Silver Millennium. There was no such thing as music in the Dark Kingdom. The only music she had had there was her mind music, which was always so much more tangible when she was with Kunzite.

Thinking of her lover only made her want to cry. She recalled a song then, and she decided that she must play it, right away.

She positioned her lithe fingers over the keys, and tried to ignore the tears burning at the back of her eyelids.

The melody that rang out was the ‘pathetique sonata,’ part of the second movement of op. 13. She had not played it in some time – in fact, the last time she had played it had been for Kunzite, at the apartment they had shared with Mamoru. Then, just like in the Silver Millennium, she had jokingly tried to teach him how to play the beautiful baby grand he had bought her as a ‘little trinket to show my affection.’ And again, as it was in the past, he had never quite gotten the hang of it, instead preferring to entertain his teacher in more amusing ways. Though he was loathe to admit it, Kunzite had not liked the feeling of being the incompetent student, instead of his more usual role of the wise and knowledgeable teacher. She hadn’t minded his interruptions to their lessons, however.

She missed him, and her sadness carried over into her music, for without thinking, she had moved into Beethoven’s haunting ‘Moonlight Sonata.’

Crying as she played her hands over the keys, she thought of Kunzite, and the way he had held her before he had left, promising to visit as soon as he could. "I will be back – I cannot live without you," he had murmured in her ear, and she had believed.

Three months. Three long months without so much as a word from her beloved, and most certainly not a visit. Every night, she lay in her bed and imagined his arms around her, holding her tightly to him, so possessive and passionate.

Alexandria quite often asked her why she seemed to cry herself to sleep almost every night. She simply lied and said she was homesick occasionally. She would not admit the depth of the pain she felt over Kunzite’s rejection, even to herself.

"That is extraordinary music," said a voice at her side, and startled, Zoisite’s fingers slipped on the keys, causing a chord from Hell. Alexandria smiled apologetically, as Zoisite turned her chair to face her. "Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just the music was so…" Her awed voice trailed off, and Zoisite could quite easily see the young student was honestly touched by the music.

"Thank you," she replied quietly, looking back to the keys. "I love that song myself."

"It was so melancholy," mused Alexandria, putting her beloved violin down on the top of the piano in the practice room. "What were you thinking about?"

Sighing, she played her fingers over several keys randomly, without real thought. "Just…things."

Alexandria seemed perplexed, then she shrugged, pulling up a chair so she could sit beside Zoisite. "Could you play me another song?"

She looked at Alexandria, stunned. "What?"

The other girl smiled, and Zoisite had to admire her pretty features, framed so perfectly by the mass of short, frothy curls. "I love to listen to you play, Zoya. It’s like listening to you sing through your piano…can you actually sing, Zoya?"

"Not really," she said, a little sheepishly, and she turned her attention back to the piano. "I could play you a song, I guess." She instantly swept into another sad melody, ‘Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.’

Alexandria watched the pretty young woman pore over the keys, thrusting herself into the music as she did so. She was well aware that she herself often did the same, when she was playing her violin.

That reminded her – she did have to go and practice, as Madame Sophia called it, ‘The Harmony of the Spheres.’ Madame Sophia was usually kind and gentle with her, but when it came to the learning of the harmony, she was a virtual demon. She would drive Alexandria night and day until she got it right.

Zoisite abruptly stopped, and looked up at Alexandria. "Allie, do you want to play with me?"

That woke her up from her musings. "What?"

Zoisite smiled inwardly. She had taken an instant liking to the young girl, whom had been at the Frigid River Conservatory since she was a child. Kunzite had also seemed to like the girl who had been so kind to Zoisite upon her arrival, and yet Zoisite did not feel jealous of her.

"Do you know the piece I was showing Madame Sophia? I remember her telling me that she was going to give you the violin piece, and get us to ring the notes together in a duet sometime."

"Oh – you mean the song from a secret garden? I love that piece!" exclaimed Alexandria, and she picked up her violin. "You lead, I shall follow."

Zoisite smiled, and closed her eyes as she let her fingers float knowingly over the keys. She had played this piece many times, both here and in Tokyo, and she knew the melody forwards and backwards.

Though she was not used to having a violin player slip in and begin to mimic her own music, and Alexandria pulled the bow lovingly over the strings. The two players matched each other in perfect synchronisation, although they had never played together before. Alexandria’s violin playing was naked and vulnerable, just as was Zoisite’s piano playing.

The music died away all too soon, and they stared at each other in amazement. Their heads turned as one when they heard the slow clapping coming from the doorway.

Madame Sophia smiled as she walked over, and she put a hand on the shoulders of both her prize students. "I never imagined that you two could sound like that together," she said with an amused chuckle. "I should have known, though. If you put two talented students together, you would inevitably end up with one highly talented musical entity."

Zoisite smiled with a degree of embarrassment. "Thank you, Madame Sophia." Alexandria echoed the acknowledgement, as she put the violin carefully in its case.

"I take it you’ve been practising the Harmony of the Spheres?" Madame Sophia’s good humour dissipated at the thought, and Alexandria winced.

"I have been practising, Madame…would you like to hear it?"

"No, I don’t have the time – Thaddeus Kaine is due to arrive tonight, and I hope you’ve both been practising for the concert tomorrow evening. And your father confirmed earlier that he will be attending – I managed to talk him into giving a sermon about his latest book."

"I bet he’s looking forward to it," she said wryly, though her eyes lit up at the thought of seeing her beloved father again.

"Zoya?"

Zoisite’s golden head snapped up, her newly shortened hair bouncing about her head, just above her shoulders. "Yes?"

"Are you going to invite your delightful friends?"

A painful bolt of pain shot through her chest. Zoisite was actually unable to contact the other dimension, where the others were. The magical lines that connected the two were highly difficult to manipulate, and of all the former generals, only Kunzite could work them properly, because of his higher training.

"I don’t think they can make it," she whispered, and Madame Sophia regarded her oddly. She let a slender hand touch her shortened hair tentatively.

"Why did you cut your hair, Zoya? It was so beautiful…"

"No reason," she murmured. It was now several inches shorter than she had ever worn it, in a wavy mass that fell to just below her shoulders. It was similar to Alexandria’s style, though not quite as tightly curled.

She knew why she had done it, though.

Yeah, we both know why, said the voice in her head. It was not her subconscious, though. It was Morganite’s lightly accented voice.

You let me take more of a foothold in your life, she whispered in her mind. That was my hairstyle…you cut your hair like mine used to be…short…but it wasn’t wavy…that’s me coming through my dear…oh, Zoisite. What a fool you are…Kunzite never loved anyone but himself…though he did love me at one point. But I broke his heart…and it never mended…

Liar! Zoisite shot back. You just want to destroy all that Kunzite and I have! You’re just jealous…because Kunzite loves me! And Nephrite never loved you!

Morganite was silent for but a moment. You don’t now anything about what passed between Nephrite and I. Yet I know much of what has passed between you and Kunzite. He told you he’d be back…and has he been back? Three months is a long time, Zoi-chan…what could have happened in three months?

"Zoya?"

She turned in surprise, the conversation abruptly ending. It was not an unusual conversation…in the last month, Morganite had grown restless, continually berating Zoisite, and undermining her relationship with Kunzite.

Though she began to wonder if there was any truth in her words…

"Zoya?"

"I’m okay," she murmured, standing from her piano. She felt a painful twinge in her back, but since she was spending more and more time out of her wheelchair, it was to be expected.

Leaving her wheelchair and two bewildered people behind, Zoisite moved into the silent auditorium, which was a fair way from the practice room.

The structure was silent, except for the ghostly sounds she could almost hear…the murmuring of past voices, the strands of former melodies, the threads of forgotten harmonies.

She turned to take the stairs upward, moving through endless corridors, until she came to the fourth level…Box C.

Moving into the box, she could see throughout the entire auditorium. She silently sat, and took out her diary. Already an argument had let loose in her head.

g g g

Alexandria heard her teacher calling her name, and she looked up in surprise. She had been practising the Harmony of the Spheres on her own, trying not to think about Zoya. The girl had been behaving awfully peculiarly as of late. After the first few days of being at the Frigid River Conservatory, she had stopped moping over Karl. She then went on to prove her great magical talent on the piano…it reminded her of the saying that a truly great musician could play to make the stones weep.

Then, during the second month, she had become quieter, and a lot more easily antagonised. Her playing had become slightly erratic, and she seemed to be waiting for something. Something that never came.

The third month had sent her spiralling into a deep depression, during which she cut off all her long, beautiful hair into a frothy bob. Her light eyes were darkened, and she never wore her glasses. She actually wore contacts that were tinted violet some of the time, and she had bizarre mood swings. During the worst ones, her voice would take on a peculiar quality, a strange accent.

But her music…it had grown, it had prospered in her misery and depression, and become some of the most extraordinary music Alexandria had ever heard.

"Alexandria!"

Madame Sophia walked into the room, and she stood, her heart leaping into her throat. At her side, dressed sombrely in a knee-length, double breasted black coat with shiny gold buttons, was Karl Rutherford, Zoya’s so-called fiancé. His aristocratic face and fan of starlight hair was unmistakable.

"Have you seen Zoya? She’s not in her room, and she didn’t have permission to leave the school grounds…"

Alexandria grimaced. She knew where Zoya would be. "I think I know…when she wants to be alone, she goes into the auditorium, and writes…I go and get her, if you want." Her eyes strayed to Kunzite, and her heart sank. If anything, this creepy feeling about him had escalated, rather than faded.

He seemed agonised, impatient. "Could you just take me to her? I need to see her now."

Her brow creased in confusion. "Is something wrong?"

"You could say that," he muttered, and said in a louder voice "Please, just take me to her."

Alexandria nodded, putting her violin down. Leaving Madame Sophia behind, she guided Kunzite down the hallway, and into the main foyer of the conservatory. From there, she lead him through the double oak doors into the auditorium, and up many flights of stairs.

"She’ll be in Box C," she confided to the silent man, as they made their way swiftly upwards. "I don’t know why she likes it so, but she’s always there when she comes into the auditorium alone."

Karl – Kunzite – simply nodded, and pressed on.

They came to a halt outside a door, one of many, and Alexandria moved away. "I’ll wait out here," she said, and Kunzite had to admire her for her control. He could easily tell she was infinitely curious about the nature of what he had to tell Zoisite, but she let them keep their privacy.

"Thank you," he said, and stepped into the booth.

g g g

Zoisite was tired, and she felt her hand slip as it moved lethargically over the page. The pen clattered to the floor, she was so tired…and she was losing yet another argument to Morganite…her old teacher…

Zoisite fell asleep, and began to dream…

j j j j

Looking at her, her beauty was obvious, as was her inherent cruelty. Though he knew she was taken…not that he had any interest in a woman. Though it sometimes bugged him, he had always known that he was not meant to be with a woman. They just did not interest him…though, for some reason, Morganite did. Her short, dark hair, her dark eyes, they all reminded him of some long forgotten dream…like a lost love.

j j j j

"Zoisite? Zoisite, wake up!"

I must still be dreaming, she thought drowsily, and kept her eyes shut, wondering why her mind was subjecting her to such torture. First, she had to put up with a flashback of her past with Morganite, and now, the sweetly sensual voice of the man whom had abandoned her in the conservatory. Alone. Lost, swimming in a painful ocean of memories…

"Zoisite?"

She felt a familiar hand on her face, an arm about her shoulder, as she was pulled up into a sitting position on the chair.

She opened her eyes, and suddenly knew she was not dreaming. For she stared directly into the eyes of her missing lover.

All her anger, all her hurt, it all suddenly cumulated into one decisive action.

Zoisite slapped Kunzite – hard.

Stunned, the man looked at her in shock. "Zoisite?"

Now fully awake, Zoisite felt hot blood begin to course wildly through her veins, as she let all her hurt and anger run riot, clouding her judgement.

"YOU LOUSY BASTARD!" she screamed, and Kunzite backed up a little, as much as the tiny room would allow. He was used to Zoisite’s temper by now, but rarely did she go so completely off the handle…it was not the first time Zoisite had attacked him. Zoisite was apt to attack anything if he thought it justified…but why? What had he done?

"Zoisite – what’s wrong?" he asked calmly, and his usual cool demeanour, with its touch of confused curiosity, stopped Zoisite better than any physical influence.

"Excuse me?" she almost stuttered, and Kunzite looked bewildered, yet still held his calm.

"Well," he drawled in his sultry voice, "You’ve just attacked me for no apparent reason…I was only gone for three days, Zoisite."

"What?" she asked numbly.

Kunzite looked at Zoisite in confusion. "I knew you’d miss me, little seito…but really, Zoisite. Isn’t this a little overboard?"

"Over board?" she asked dully in a dead voice. "Kunzite, you left me for three months with no explanation…is it not right that I should over react, even a little?"

"Three months?" he gasped in sudden understanding. "But how…the timelines are the same…" His voice trailed off as he remembered a saying, a saying that brought awful truth to Zoisite’s accusation.

Three days in Avalon…nearly three months in the Forbidden Lands.

"Zoisite," he whispered, as an immense guilt rolled over him like the colossal weight of an enormous rock.

"Don’t even speak to me," she replied in the same dead, dull voice. "I think you’ve made yourself perfectly clear, Kunzite. Don’t try to justify yourself…I know why you did what you did."

"Zoisite, listen to me-"

"I DON’T NEED TO LISTEN!" she suddenly screamed in an agonised wail, as he stared at her in horror and remorse. "YOU DON’T LOVE ME! YOU DON’T NEED ME! I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!"

He bowed his head…not again…he looked up, his voice cool, calm and collected, though inside he was in turmoil. "Zoisite, I think I need to explain something to you."

"WHAT IS THERE TO EXPLAIN?!"

He grimaced at the pitch and volume of her screeched question. "Zoisite, I command that you shut up this instant."

The command threw her completely off-kilter, and she stared at him, stunned. The she managed to recover her lost tongue. "You leave me for three months, return like nothing happened, and when I ask for a reasonable explanation, you pull rank on me and tell me to shut up?!"

Suddenly something hit him – hard. "Zoisite – what have you done to your hair?!"

"I cut it," she replied impetuously, running a hand through the shortened strands. "I modelled it on the style of a friend of mine – and of yours, I believe."

"Morganite," he growled deep in his throat. "Zoisite – what has she done to you?"
"Nothing at all!" she declared haughtily. "As for you, Lord Kunzite, I doubt you are so innocent in crimes against my heart."

"I can explain," he snapped, suddenly very annoyed by Zoisite’s refusal to listen to him. "If you’d just shut up…"

"You owe me an explanation, yes," she replied in a cool voice, liberally coated with arsenic. "Go ahead."

Kunzite wondered if he was just hanging himself, going along with Zoisite’s anger, but he proceeded anyway. Honesty was supposedly the best policy…wasn’t it?

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Just a note…the songs I mentioned here are real, and I personally love them…and with the mind talk between Zoisite and Morganite…if it’s in colours, it’s actually directed at the other. If it’s a thought in black, it means that they weren’t meaning it to be heard. Unfortunately for the pair, it doesn’t quite work that way…