Midnight in Gotham City: for most, a quiet, serene time . . . but in the Gotham City Savings and
Loan
Company, the serene takes a back seat to the sinister.
William Wentworth Wumpington, the distinguished manager of the establishment,
stood
behind the counter, striking a fine figure of an older gentleman. He appeared to be tidying up
in anticipation of tomorrow's
crowd, when the familiar figures of Batman and Robin burst in, Batarangs drawn
and ready.
They had expected a group of thugs and ne'er-do-wells to be ransacking the place . . . but to their befuddlement, they found the scene to be calm and contained. The vault was open, but no money had been taken out. Nothing had been broken or blown open, the safe deposit boxes had simply been unlocked and neatly emptied. Cash and jewelry had been placed in neat piles on the counting tables and desks, as if waiting to be handled.
Recognizing the manager, (from his dealings in his guise as wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne) Batman approached him. "Excuse me, aren't you Mr. Wumpington, the manager of this establishment?"
Wumpington turned. "Oh Batman, Robin! How good to see you. You've arrived just in time."
Perplexed by his somewhat chipper demeanor, Batman continued. "Yes, we hope so. We detected your silent alarm on the Batmobile's silent alarm detector."
"That's right. And we made a bat-bee-line for here," piped in Robin, the Boy Wonder.
"We were under the impression your company was being robbed," said Batman.
"Oh, it is, Batman. You're right," he said, calmly. "It's just that she wanted to wait for you to get here."
The Dynamic Duo looked at each other confused.
"She, who?" Robin asked.
Wumpington answered by pointing behind them. "Why, her," he said.
They turned to see a petite, curvaceous woman with long, dark-brown hair done up in a bun except for a long pony-tail cascading down her shoulder. She had deep, coal black eyes and soft-looking lips. She wore a min-dress designed to look like a ancient Roman toga that showcased her shapely legs.
Before the Caped Crusaders could react, she opened her mouth to release a super- sonic note from her throat.
This was THE SIREN!
CUE BAT-THEME
Batman and Robin found themselves sitting on two chairs, back to back, in the middle of the room, as the Siren pulled tight on the rope around them. It pinned their muscular arms to their sides and held their waists to the chairs. It snaked across their thighs, under the seats and around their knees, finally wrapping around their ankles.
As she pulled tightly on the rope, her sexy leg up on Batman's knee for leverage, the Siren asked, "Now, Batman, you're sure you and the Boy Wonder can't escape Vietnamese Double Cross Knots?"
"Oh no," answered Batman. "Robin and I haven't even begun studying them."
"That's right," added Robin. "This could hold us well into the night and maybe the next morning."
"That's wonderful," she cooed, "but I'll only need long enough to make my getaway."
She slinked across the room, over to a bag in the corner and pulled out a bomb fastened to an old-fashioned clock. "Tell me, boys, how long do you think it would take me to get far enough from this bomb to be safe?"
"Well, tell me," asked Batman, "your getaway van in the back alley, it's facing the street?"
"Yes."
"All right, if you can run out of here in about eight seconds, I'd set it for about three minutes."
"Very well, then, let's make it four for safe measure." She set the bomb's timer and placed it under the Caped Crusaders chairs. "Before I go boys, I want to thank you for being so sweet and helping me load the truck with the money."
"We were glad to do it, Siren," Batman answered. "It's lucky you caught us off guard and put us under your spell before we could act."
"Well, it's all in the timing. Anyway, I'll just start the bomb and be off."
"Oh, wait, Siren," Robin interrupted. "Don't you think you should take our utility belts? If we reach them, we might be able to escape."
"Good thinking, Robin," praised Batman.
"Thank you, Robin," purred the Siren. She undid their belts and slung them over her shoulder. "You boys have been quite helpful, but I'm afraid I must leave now. Unfortunately, ever since the Minstrel restored my voice with one of his electronic implants, my spells don't last very long."
"Thank you so much for everything." With that, she kissed each of them on the cheek, hit the start button on the bomb and ran out.
"You know, Robin," said Batman, reflectively, "It does one good to be a help to someone."
"You're right, Batman," answered Robin. "It does." It was at that moment the Siren's spell wore off. "Wait a minute, no it doesn't!" Now realizing their situation, Robin cried out near panic. "HOLY SUDDEN AWARENESS, BATMAN!"
"I'M AFRAID NOT SUDDEN ENOUGH, ROBIN!" answered Batman.
As the bomb slowly ticked away the moments of their lives, Batman and Robin squirmed and struggled franticly against their bonds.
At that moment, there was the sound of a window breaking. The petite and shapely form of Batgirl swung into the room!
"Holy breaking and entering! It's Batgirl!" shouted Robin.
"Quick, Batgirl." said Batman, calmly. "Untie us before it's too late."
Like a cougar, Batgirl sprang across the room. "It's already too late!" declared Batgirl, glancing at the timer. Thinking quickly, she snatched up the bomb, tossed it into the open safe and, with all her might, swung the vault door closed. She then threw herself like a spear into the bound Dynamic Duo, knocking them down as she covered them with her body.
KABLAMMMMMMM!!!
The vault door was blown open, but the steel-reinforced walls took the brunt of the blast.
"Are you all right?" Batgirl asked the Dynamic Duo.
"Never mind, Batgirl," commanded Batman. "Get after the Siren! She just left and she's heading west! In a black van, license plate HI SEE."
"But what about you?"
"We'll be okay, Batgirl, just get her!" chimed in Robin.
Reluctantly, Batgirl danced off after the sinister songstress, leaving Batman and Robin to struggle against their bondage. Before she was out the door however, she heard . . .
"Batgirl."
She turned.
"Thank you," Batman offered.
Batgirl smiled and hurried off, leaving the bound heroes behind.
"Holy humiliation, Batman," complained Robin. "It's a little disheartening, being saved by a girl."
"Look at it this way, Robin," replied Batman. "Pride is a bitter pill to swallow, but humility is strong medicine against the disease of crime."
"Gosh, I guess you're right, Batman."
"Welcome to center stage, Batgirl."
"Tonight's performance is canceled, Siren," countered the Crimefighting Cutie.
"Oh, but wait, Batgirl. You can't miss my grand finale'."
"Your devious 'C' note? It doesn't work on women, Siren."
"No . . . but it does work on glass floors!" With that, the Siren let loose her super-sonic cry.
The building shook. There was a loud crack. Then another.
Batgirl felt the floor shake under her feet.
CRRAKK!
The floor disappeared under Batgirl's feet. As she fell through space, she could hear glass tinkle all around her, like raindrops on a roof. Shards of glass gleamed in the dark like diamond snowflakes. A hard thump was the last thing she felt before all went black.
As the darkness faded, and Batgirl's eyes adjusted to the light - dim as it was
- she felt her arms pulled behind her back. Something held them at the wrists.
Rope. She felt it down
around her ankles as well. She was sitting on something hard and flat, and the
familiar taste
of silk in her mouth told her she was gagged.
She felt something pressing on her ears. Unable to see whatever it was out of the corner of her eyes, she looked around the stage. Over her left shoulder, just behind her, she saw the Siren. The villainous vixen leaned against a table of sound equipment, holding a microphone in her hands. Batgirl noticed a black wire from the table snaking across the floor towards her.
"Comfy, Batgirl?" she asked. "You won't be for long. Let me draw your attention to this little set-up of mine. I have here an amplifier and a microphone. You, my dear girl, are wearing the headphones. What I'd like to do right now, is give you a special private performance - on full volume. Rendering your brain to mush!"
Batgirl's eyes went wide with terror. She squirmed against her bonds. She shook her head wildly, trying to shake off the headphones.
"Oh, I should mention," the Siren added with mock innocence. "I've glued those head-phones to your cowl!"
Then she smiled . . .
took a deep breath . . .
The high pitched sound stabbed into Batgirl's head like an ice pick, almost knocking her out. She twisted violently and fell off the stool, squirming around on the floor like a worm, trying to escape. The violent, painful shrieking in her head made it impossible to focus. The pain closed her eyes and distorted her mind. She felt as if she were spinning, spinning down a whirlpool. Her head throbbed like it was caving in! She felt her ears bleeding! In a second, her mind would be destroyed!
THWUMP!
"MMURPH!"
It took a few seconds, but Batgirl realized the sound had stopped. Robin was kneeling over her, untying her hands. She looked back at the Siren. Batman was wrapping her shapley legs in batrope. Her arms were pinned to her sides by the cord entwined around her curves. A huge ball with the bat-logo on it had been shoved into her mouth.
"Batgirl," Robin asked. "Are you alright?"
Batgirl could barley hear. "Wha-what?"
Realizing Batgirl's hearing might be damaged, Robin used basic sign language to ask her if she was alright. She nodded yes, and passed out.
Back at the Batcave, Batman finished patching up Batgirl's ears. "You'll be
happy to know, Batgirl, that your ear drums will be fine in another day or so. We got there
before any irreversible
damage occurred."
"You've a real talent for surgery, Batman. How did you find the Siren's hideout?" she asked.
"Simple," chirped Robin. "We used the Batmobile's chemical tracer to follow the trail of your bike's exhaust fumes and we had the Batmobile's highly sensitive sonar/radar equipment tuned to pick up any disturbance the Siren's voice caused."
"And now, Batgirl," Batman requested. "Maybe you'd be willing to tell us how you happened to show up when you did at the Savings and Loan?"
"Simple," she chirped. "I was out on patrol and saw the Batmobile speeding down the street. I would've caught up to you sooner, but I had the lights against me."
"Always a good idea to practice traffic saftey." Batman offered.
"The Siren will have plenty of time to practice up in Gotham State Pen," said Robin. Her big comeback should be in about 99 years, with time off for good behavior."
"That's a concert I'll have to miss." Batgirl said with a laugh in her voice. "She killed my ear for music."
END