New Rights?
The following was written by State Representative
Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA.:
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and
our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden,
delusional and other liberal, bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill
of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of
No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car,
big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power
to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that
means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may
leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to
be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to
make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be
found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation
of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing,
we're just not interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm
other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or
kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want
to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions
of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or
services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest
of us get together and lock you away in a place where
you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV
or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our
children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your
aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and
won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if
you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire
world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling
each and every little tyrant with a military uniform
and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of
us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly
help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being
an American means that you have the right to pursue
happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you
are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the
Bill of Rights.
