Author: Jan Monroe
Series: Voy
Parts: 1 of 1
Rating: pg. One bad word.
Codes: J, P/T
Summary: The possible damage done by Tom's time in the brig.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the Star Trek Universe. I own my story. I just took the characters out to play for fun, not for profit. Warning: Lots of angst. Time period: After Thirty days Unforseen Consequences Copyright by Jan Monroe 1998 "Tom, report," Janeway ordered. She had stopped calling him by his rank since she had demoted him. Her problem was that Tom was usually too informal, Paris made it sound like she was still angry with him and Ensign make her wince every time she used it. Calling him Ensign seemed to add to her own guilt about Tom. Although she would never admit it, the sentence she had handed down had been much more sever than she intended it to be. It had also cause much more damage than she had intended. Some how, his punishment had slipped into its own form of torture. He had spent seven months in prison so thirty days in the brig should not have caused any major problems. At least that was what she keep telling herself.
The reports from the brig from the first night, and every night after, about the nightmares was bad enough. What had concerned her and the Chief Medical Officer was the increasing frequency and severity. He started with one nightmare a night when he awoke out of breath and sweating. By the twelfth day, he was waking up screaming. The officers manning the brig had suggested that he be moved to his own quarters, the report suggest that this might help control the nightmares. Janeway was feeling guilty about the situation but refused to allow the transfer. She truly believed that the nightmares would be a temporary reaction to the brig and that they would fad when his sentence was up. She had allowed Harry to visit. It helped that night. Afterwards, he returned to his nightmare fulled nights. By the twentieth day, he was having multiple night terrors. Doc had ordered medication but it had only minimally success. After that, he refused to go back to sleep after the first night terror. He left the brig suffering from sleep depravation.
Six weeks later, she pulled aside B'Elanna and asked how Tom was coping. B'Elanna's report was not encouraging. Nightly nightmares but thankfully not night terrors, renewed and heightened claustrophobia, and the most tell change of all was the over abundance of jokes. B'Elanna called it 'hiding behind laughter.' He made more jokes now then when he first came on Voyager. It seemed that Tom's logic was if someone was laughing at the joke, they would forget to look closer. Unfortunately, with most of the crew that was true, only a few were willing to look deeper and see the pain. However, a few only saw the pain.
The Chief Medical Officer had ran several scans on Tom since he was released, all in the name of 'calibrating the equipment.' Tom accepted that excuse the first time but according to the Doctor, had a knowing glint in his eye every time thereafter. Tom refused to acknowledge that he might need medical care and the Doctor believed that pressing the issue would only worsen Tom's condition. The Doctor had reported that Tom's stress level was extremely high but to relieve him of duty for any reason except physical injury would only worsen the situation.
So far, B'Elanna had been able to spend the nights with him, calming him back to sleep. Doc was concerned if Tom and B'Elanna were put on different shifts. B'Elanna was joyous the first time that he slept thru the night. He was improving.
The medical condition that most worried the doctor was the claustrophobia. Getting caught alone in a stalled turbo lift could be disastrous. Even the walk-in closet in sickbay caused him to react but he refused medical treatment. Normally these fears would have lead to mandatory secession with the ships councillor. Doc had suggested secessions with Tuvok or Chakotay but Tom had refused, stating flatly that he would refuse to speak to them. Tom was again distrustful of authority of any kind. Tom suggested that they create a holo-shrink like the holo-exobiologist they had created to help B'Elanna. Doc had almost laughed, thinking that Tom was joking but didn't. The idea had some merit however it would be a huge project for the programmer. The suggested that if Tom's condition did not improve that he would consider creating the holographic ships councilor.
Janeway was concerned was Tom's behavior around her. He refused to talk to her except when he was making reports. Even when he was forced to talk to her it was in a flat emotionless voice using as few words as possible. When she was on the bridge, he remained silent. After she left he would relax and revert to his old self. She learned this on his first day back on bridge duty. She went to her ready room to work on her daily administrative tasks, when someone came into her office, she could hear him. Slightly subdued but essentially being himself. She returned to the bridge and as soon as he knew that she was there, he closed his mouth, talking only when asked a specific question or acknowledging an order. She assumed that this would pass quickly but after three months he still refused to talk when she was present. The tension on the bridge could be unbearable but she couldn't change his shift. The doctor had ordered that Tom and B'Elanna had to be on the same shift until further notice. She couldn't even put him on report for his behavior, he was following Starfleet regulations to the letter.
She had also had to learn to control her causal touching. The first time she touched him, he had flinched and then turned to stone. Every time thereafter was exactly the same. She finally stopped. She had wanted to show caring, not administer punishment and that is what it had become...even for her.
Janeway couldn't figure out why he was behaving like she had betrayed him. She wasn't the one that stole a shuttle and tried to engage in an act of terrorism.
Tom knew she had betrayed him. She still refused to see him as an individual. He had believed that she had seen him as who he was but her comment about his father hurt more than she would ever know. She still saw him as a part of that bastard.
In a way, he envied her. Life must have been great for her as a child if she couldn't image a father who was so controlling, maniputive and emotionally abusive as his was. The admiral had treated him like a trophy for display, and a pest to be forced to obey. Tom wasn't allowed to choice his friends as a child or own career as a young man coming of age. Tom had to admit that the admiral was very good at playing the concerned father. His father would have been a great actor.
The worst part of all this is that she doesn't even know what her betrayal was and even if he tried to explain it to her, she wouldn't understand. She would never admit that her hero did everything he could to make his son obey not caring that he was actively destroy his son.
End