Eve of the Solstice
by Morgana Shee
Part 5
Morgana went through the rest of the week in a daze. Her whole world was being ripped apart. First Talia and then Cadal, the only man she would ever truly love, she told herself. The pain in her heart was slow and agonizing. It was like a slow blooming flower. Only at night did it ease slightly. This was when she was curled in front of the fire in the den of Fell Andred with Vulpecula curled at her feet. Here she thought of the good times that they all had shared. But most often, at these thoughts, she would begin to cry and Vulpecula would usher her to bed like she was some slobbering drunk.
Occasionally, Elwyn would drop by and try to do something for Morgana, but Elwyn didn't understand what Morgana was going through. Elwyn seemed totally immune to pain and suffering and most of all grief.
"I bet that you didn't even cry when our mother died," said Morgana one night when Elwyn had decided to come by and cheer her up.
Elwyn cocked her head to one side and frowned slightly, "I don't know about that, sister. I may have cried when you were not around."
Morgana was at a loss for words. Such wisdom and cleverness didn't come from Elwyn, but Morgana knew she was right.
Days went by and soon, it was the next month. Elwyn became concerned.
"Morgana, all the people in Weerien are wondering where you are," Elwyn said with a frown on her face, "I think you should go the Weerien and at least smile at someone. Aurin says that-"
Morgana lashed around, "I don't care what Aurin says! No one understands what I'm going through! Least of all you!"
Elwyn left and Vulpecula made herself scarce. She knew when Morgana should be left alone.
Elwyn must have told Luna Darkmoon what was happening because she came by the next day. The knock came at the door that night while she and Vulpecula were sitting by the fire. Vulpecula lifted her head and the noise. Morgana made no effort to rise.
"Mistress, you should answer that," said Vulpecula slowly for fear that she should not have said it.
Morgana eyed Vulpecula carefully. The vixen was staring at her so intently. Morgana threw her legs off the couch and stalked to the door expecting Aurin Silvereye.
She unlatched the lock and threw the door open, a smart remark on the tip of her tongue. But she didn't have to use it. It was only Luna.
"Morgana?" said Luna quietly edging cautiously over the threshold.
"Hello, Luna," said Morgana, smiling as best she could.
"Elwyn told me you were in a great state of depression," Luna always had a way with words.
"Hmpf, I doubt Elwyn put it that way, but, yes," Morgana said, "I've been sitting her for a month feeling sorry for myself. I'm such a damned fool!"
Luna quickly went over Morgana and put her arms around her, "Morgana, you're not the first person in the world to lose someone close to you and you're not the first person to grieve. It's perfectly natural. Don't you worry. Everything will be fine."
Morgana had a good cry and Luna took her upstairs and put her to bed. Morgana lay awake for several minutes thinking about Luna and how she saved her from drowning in her own grief.
___________________________
Morgana rose early the next morning and threw on her best green dress. She packed her knapsack with sandwiches and delightful strawberry juice. She was going to bathe in the sunlight this afternoon just watching the beautiful Findahl sky and the shapes in its clouds.
Vulpecula had not risen yet, but Morgana left her a note. Vulpecula would not doubt like a little time to herself.
Morgana threw open the wood door from the kitchen and breathed in the fresh spring air. It was quite warm that day and Morgana discarded her shawl and took up a parasol. She quickly exited the house and made her way into her favorite field.
The field was a mass of purple, blue, and red wildflowers. The sunlight played upon their petals and made them more vivid than they really were. Morgana felt happiness swell over her. Talia and she had loved to come there on summer afternoons and watch the blossoms dance in the wind. Talia had said that when she died, she could make the flowers dance with her breath. She would be the wind, she said. Morgana smiled to herself. Talia would always be in this lush field, her favorite place to be. She must be happy, Morgana thought, to make this place so beautiful.
Morgana set up her parasol and laid down on the soft grass. The clouds drifted slowly by as if they had no where to go. Morgana was so at peace she didn't hear the soft rustling of grass behind her open parasol. Morgana swiftly leapt to her feet and looked to see who the intruder was.
"I hope I'm not intruding," said Aurin Silvereye, his face perfectly sincere or at least that was what Morgana thought.
"No," said Morgana feeling generous "You're not intruding. This place is as much yours as it is mine. Anyway," she said smiling, "I'm glad to see you."
Aurin was shocked. He wasn't expecting her kind invitation, "May I sit down?"
"By all means," said Morgana scooting over so Aurin could be under the parasol.
Aurin spread his lithe body down by Morgana. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her, "I'm sorry for what happened with- you know..."
Morgana looked at him. His eyes were like liquid silver and they were watching her with a gaze that could turn her into a puddle of water. His hair was slightly curling in the wind. It looked to touchable. Morgana couldn't resist. She slowly reached out a hand and stroked his hair.
Aurin was again surprised and gasped slightly. Morgana was about to retract her hand, when Aurin caught it. For minutes he just held on to it and looked at her. Morgana was the first to break the gaze.
"Are you hungry?" asked Morgana, exasperated.
Aurin sat up, "Actually, I am, but I can just go get some of my own food-"
"No," Morgana said quickly, "there's plenty here." She reached into her knapsack and pulled out the sandwiches and a goblet. She filled the goblet with strawberry juice and handed it to Aurin. He took a sip.
"Oh my!" he said, "This is the best tasting strawberry juice I have ever had! Where did you get it?"
"Oh, I made it myself," said Morgana, "I'm glad someone likes it. Vulpecula hates it."
Aurin chuckled and looked at his glass, "I've been meaning to ask you something..."
Morgana didn't like the tone to his voice, "Yes?"
"I know this isn't a subject that you would like brought up, but I must know," Aurin turned and was fully facing her, "Were you in love Cadal Forge?"
Morgana just stared at him. She searched his face. She could tell he would be greatly hurt by her answer, "Aurin, I-- yes, Aurin, I was and I still am and I think I always will be."
Aurin nodded ever so slightly, "Would you ever want to see him again if you could?"
Morgana considered him again, "Of course I would, but I have no idea where he is...Aurin, why do you ask?"
Aurin turned to her slowly, "Because I know where he is. In Florence. And I know where he is residing. I was planning to go myself, but I thought myself to selfish. Morgana would you be by guest on this trip."
Morgana screamed and bowled him over, "Of course! Oh, Aurin! I love you so much!"
She kissed him several times all over his face. She then buried her head in his shoulder. She did not see the terrible grief in Aurin's eyes.
Part 6
© 1999 Caity Ford
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