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DAY 247
Janeway sat in the ruins of her ready room.
All around her Voyager was dying. Was dead already. Her crew scattered like dandelion seeds. Each to his separate fate. Beyond her.
And still the Krenim came. Hunting her. Like some damned white whale.
Janeway let out a bark of bitter laughter. Hours earlier the EMH had threatened to medically relieve her of duty. Relieve her? In favor of whom?
Chakotay? Gone.
Tuvok? Blinded and infirm.
Tom? Gone. Vanished like Chakotay.
B'Elanna? A half-trained engineering drop-out.
Harry? No longer green, but still not ready for *this*.
Seven?
She would send them to the questionable safety of the escape pods. Soon. Before the Krenim attacked again.
And herself? She would stay and die with Voyager. A Captain's duty. Her duty and her pride. Her last duty.
No. There was one more. One she had been putting off. She owed him this much. More.
She heaved herself to her feet and over to her desk. Forced open a broken drawer and removed a small cloth pouch and a computer chip. Kneeling. Groping through the wreckage, she found her terminal. She rested it on her knees and paused to sweep away the soot before lifting the screen. A deep breath. Insert the chip. The screen flashed bright static once, twice, then went dark. Then the pixels resolved themselves into a face. He looked much as he had the last time she had seen him, standing on the Bridge. His hair lank, eyes circled with fatigue, stubble hiding grim lines around his mouth. Her fingers reached out to touch the image, but withdrew as the image jerked to life and began to speak.
"Kathryn," he began without preamble, "if you are hearing this, then I am dead. I know that time is precious so I will be brief. I have three requests. First, my medicine bundle. Place it in my hands when you send me on my last journey. If this is not possible, return it to the earth. Disintegration by phaser or dematerialization by a wide dispersion transporter beam would be best. It would mean a lot to me if you could do this yourself. Next, when Voyager gets home....."
Here she smiled faintly, touched, even at this remove, at his faith in her.
"....I would appreciate it if you would look up my mother. Tell how I lived. And how I died. Tell her.....that I found what I was searching for. She'll know what that means."
A ghost of a smile shone on his features.
"I think you'll like her, Kathryn. In many ways you remind me of her."
The smile faded.
"Last. With this chip you will find a pouch. In it is your birthday gift. I know you told me to recycle it, but I am getting good at disobeying your orders. I hope you will keep it and look at it from time to time. And remember.......Kathryn, you are not alone."
The image held for a moment then disappeared in an explosion of static.
Then Kathryn Janeway did something she had not done since she had come to the Delta Quadrant. She wept. Not merely tears, but great racking sobs that tore at her throat. She cried her anger, bitterness and guilt. She cried her grief, regret and recrimination.
She did not hear the footsteps enter her ready room. The odd, uneven shuffling footsteps of a blind man. Tuvok stopped in front of her and crouched. He extended a hand until it contacted her arm and traced it up until his hand rested on her shoulder. He waited with Vulcan patience until the sobs died away and the ragged breathing became more even.
She turned to look at him.
"He loved me."
A twitch crossed his lips that could have been a smile. "Even I could see that," he told her gently, "And I am a blind man."
Tuvok rose and reached down to help her up.
"It is time, " he announced gravely, "to go."
Janeway stood and as she did she felt something that may have been hope rise in her chest. She had feared he would say the three words that would bind her guilt to her for as long as she lived. Instead, she had given her four words and set her free.
"No, Tuvok. Not yet. I have a plan."
She took the Vulcan's arm and led him from the ready room and toward their future, the watch grasped tightly in her right hand.
FINIS