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Television Network
P R E S E N T S
=================================================================
{The camera pans around a sold out O-rena in Orlando, Florida as
fireworks and lasers delight the crowd with a spectactular lights
display. As the smoke clears the camera zooms in to the ringside
announcers table where the AWI trio of Raul Garcia Jr., Chris
Hairie, and Stephen Augustus are all seated.}
[Garcia]
Good evening folks and welcome to another sold out show as the
AWI comes to you live from Orlando. Home of the Orlando Magic
and--
[Hairie]
Now host of the most violent show on all of TV! AWI ARMAGEDDON!!!
We've been banned from the air by the FCC *AND* the Government!
It's a conspiracy to keep me down and to try and keep the truth
hidden from you all!
[Augustus]
Oh, brother ... have you been watching those "X-Files" re-reruns
again? Please spare us the shame of your senseless ravings this
week.
[Hairie]
YOU'RE IN ON IT! DENY IT! I DARE YOU! TELL THEM THE TRUTH
GARCIA!!! TELL'EM THE TRUTH!!!"
[Garcia]
Truth has it that we are back on the air after an extended hiatus
due to some political infighting in the AWI front offices. We've
lost some big names in the past few weeks, but on the upside
we've picked up some new faces, some returning faces, and all
have been assured that our jobs here in the AWI family are
secure.
[Augustus]
Unless were fired due to a combination of bad commentating, an
overactive imagination, and an even louder mouth.
[Hairie]
STICK IT AUGUSTUS!!! I'm gonna show the world the truth! You guys
are either with me or against me! Make up your minds right now!
The truth needs to be shown!
[Garcia/Augustus]
{unison} Against you.
[Hairie]
WHAT!?!?
[Garcia]
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, welcome to
another action packed two hour show of AWI Armageddon. We've got
a full slate of action for you tonight and you can rest assured
it will be top-notch action. We have in action for you tonight
the return to ring action of one "Ringmaster" Dacia Blackthorne.
She'll be squaring off against AWI newcomer, but no stranger to
fame, "Cool" Kitty Taylor.
[Augustus]
This should be an excellent match up. Blackthorne has been a bit
of a shadow as of late, but she always shows up to wrestle.
Taylor on the other hand ... well, let's just say she's no
stranger to gold and definitely is set to make an impact in the
AWI.
[Hairie]
You guys can watch Taylor all you want. I'm eyeballing
Blackthorne tonight.
[Garcia]
OK, I can't resist this one. Why?
[Hairie]
Scotland! Ireland! IRA! Pipe bombs! Wake up, you idiots, she's
probably planning some terrorist attack tonight!
[Augustus]
That's it. I'm gone! I'm outta here! I can't take this anymore!
Raul I'm taking five ... no, TEN until he get's himself under
control! He's mad and insanity is contagious. I'm leaving. Call
me after the first match is over. I'll be out back.
[Garcia]
Wha-- Augustus ... come back! {to Chris} Now see what you've
done?!? Just sit there, OK? Don't talk, move, or ANYTHING! Just
breathe. I'm gonna run of the rest off this card and go catch
Stephen. Not a word. {to camera} Fans excuse me. As I was saying
before, we have Taylor vs Blackthorne, we'll be hearing from the
likes of Robbie Stevens and Corey Bonham, back as the Headbangers
200 ... "The Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston ... the Chaos Brothers
... the Toxic twins ... and last but not least, a special
interview conducted by Heather Rasputin with none other than long
time AWI favorite Madeline Freechild ...
[Hairie]
{singing} Whoa-oh here she comes ... watch out boy, she'll chew
you up, whoa-oh here she comes ... she's a man-- {hums the last
two notes}.
[Garcia]
YOU are about to get it! And BAD!
[Hairie]
Sorry. Just letting the people know the *truth*.
[Garcia]
Fans, let's take a commercial break right now and when we get
back hopefully Stephen Augustus will have rejoined us, and of
course the surprise of ages! Next on Armageddon!
[Hairie]
The truth is out there.
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
{The camera opens to Alliyah Johnston, sitting in what appears to
be a video room of some sort. Monitors fill the wall, and,
filling each monitor are clips of matches featuring "Ringmaster"
Dacia Blackthorne. Alliyah's back is to the camera, and she
merrily hums along a tune similar to Alanis Morrisette's
"Ironic". Out of the corner of her eye, she spots the cameraman,
and spins, slightly startled.}
[Alliyah Johnston]
Ah ... I apologize. I didn't see you there. I'm busily preparing
for what will undoubtably highlight a stellar Allied Wrestling
International show -- Union III -- with the RETURN of "The
Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston, and the embarrassment of one Dacia
Blackthorne. Unfortunately, in the process of pre-match
preparation and study, I came to a most profound realization -- I
have, indeed, wronged Ms. Blackthorne. The comments,
observations, derisions -- they've all been undeserved,
unwarranted, and, frankly ... I was wrong.
So ... I feel the desire to make amends. I have a peace offering
for Dacia. A public vehicle, with which to show that my
commentary upon her abilities in the past was not up to snuff.
So, I give you ... my gift to Dacia Blackthorne: a video montage
of the most stellar highlights in the grandiose career of
"Ringmaster" Dacia Blackthorne. Mr. Cameraperson, if you can
focus on Monitor Number Three:
{The camera focuses on monitor three, and the sound cuts in the
opening of Alanis Morisette's "Ironic", as a montage begins with
Dacia Blackthorne coming down to ringside, slapping hands with
the fans, and being a good girl.}
[Alanis]: {singing} "An old man turned ninety-eight"
{Blackthorne shown getting powerbombed by one of Dream Succubus.}
"He won the lottery and died the next day"
{Blackthorne gets hit with a spin kick by Sarah Victory}
"It's a black fly in your Chardonnay"
{Blackthorne is down after a Melissa Wright sneak attack}
"It's a death row pardon two minutes too late"
{Blackthorne gets tossed outside by Tiger Z}
"Isn't it ironic ... {spoken} don't you think?"
{Blackthorne absorbs a karate chop by Sarah Victory}
{singing} "It's like rain on your wedding day"
{Blackthorne gets the Bankbreaker through a video camera from
Melissa Wright.}
"It's a free ride when you've already paid"
{Blackthorne gets chokeslammed through a table by Devil
Maruyama.}
"It's the good advice that you just didn't take"
{Blackthorne falls to the Tiger Flip for the 1-2-3.}
"And who would've thought, it figures."
{Blackthorne shown being helped into the back after the Tokyo
Street Fight ... and fade back to Alliyah at the video desk.}
[Johnston]
Hmmmmmmm ... upon further examination, one must conclude that,
indeed, my observations in the past /HAVE/ been both poignant and
insightful. Mr. Cameraperson ... can you give me a close-up
please?
{The camera focuses in on Alliyah.}
Knowledge is power, Dacia. It's obvious that it doesn't take a
lot of power to beat you. I have all the knowledge ... and all of
the power ... on you that ANYONE would require to gain a sure and
final victory. Ten words, Dacia: At Union, don't show up. The
embarrassment's not worth it.
=================================================================
{Fade back to the announcer's table where Garcia Jr. and Augustus
sit with blank expressions as Hairie howls in laughter.}
[Garcia]
O-KAY. A rather ... mmmm ... insightful look into the, uh, career
of Dacia Blackthorne as, um, narrated by Alliyah Johnston.
[Augustus]
I'll bet it's safe to say that Johnston obiously ready for the
upcoming match since she's back to her old shenanigans again.
[Hairie]
WHOOOOO! Did you see Blackthorne with the camera lens sticking
out of her mouth? Man, what a shot!!!
[Garcia]
I didn't see that. Folks let's go to some words from tonight's
competitors in our next match.
=================================================================
{"You Oughtta Know" by Alanis Morrisette is playing softly in the
background as Dacia Blackthorne is lacing up her boots in her
locker room.}
[RDB]
Yeah, it's time to shake off the rust and lock up a couple of
times before the Union III sneaks up on me. I remember last time
I was at Union. Me vs. Tiger Z for the AWI championship. Somehow
she got past me and managed to hold onto that belt a little while
longer. Hmph. What goes around comes around. Anyway, I'm not
worrying about the past. Right now I have to be set on the
future. My future. And another young upstart wants to make a name
off of Dacia Blackthorne. Well Taylor I've skinned one cat, so I
hope you've brought the best that you can bring to the table.
Yeah, I know your the 'Ms. All World Do Everything Perfect Nobody
Can Touch Me' type. You sort of remind me of myself when I
started in the AWI a few years ago. I've learned from my
mistakes, so don't expect an easy match tonight.
{Dacia stands up and pony tails her hair with a scrunge before
heading towards the door}
[RDB]
Like I said before: I'm finished talking. I'm letting my actions
speak for me from now on. I'll see you in the ring Taylor. Don't
forget to bring your nine lives either.
=================================================================
{Cut to "Cool" Kitty Taylor in the dressing room, cleaning up her
bench area right before she heads to the ring.}
[Kitty]
So, I'm FINALLY gonna see some action around here! Too bad I
gotta start off with the Loch Ness Monster, Dacia Blackthorne.
{SLAMS her locker shut} Nessie, I used to hold you in high
respect. I heard stories about you, I read your credentials, I
got the impression that you would be someone worth wasting my
time on. But then something happened. Something happened that
changed my opinion of you for good: I WATCHED you wrestle! And
what I saw from you was absolutely APALLING! It sickens me to my
stomach to think that a no-talent hack like you EVER tarnished
the prestigious AWI Ladies Championship! And did my eyes deceive
me, or are you still considered one of the top contenders for
that title? Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with this picture ...
{Grabs a towel and wraps in across her shoulders.}
You call yourself the "Ringmaster", Dacia? {points to herself}
Well you're looking at a REAL Master. And in a matter of minutes,
I'm gonna show the whole wrestling world that I haven't lost a
step, and you still have a LOT of learning to do, kid-o. Class is
in session, Nessie. And your teacher is on her way to the ring
right now.
{Kitty walks out of camera range.}
=================================================================
[Alan Kinsman]
Ladies and gentlemen, our first bout features the AWI women's
division ... introducing first: she hails from Loch Ness,
Scotland, weighing in at one-hundred and eighty pounds ...
"Ringmaster" DACIAAAAAAA BLACKTHOOOOOOOOORNE!
{"Amazing Grace" kicks in over the loudspeakers as Dacia
Blackthorne makes her way down the aisle clad in her traditional
black singlet with black boots to a hearty reception from the
O-Rena crowd, stopping only to pose for a quick picture with a
little girl.}
[Hairie]: Oh how sweet. She's not afraid to get near the
animals.
[Garcia]: I beg your pardon! That little girl was adorable!
[Hairie]: Not Blackthorne ... the KID!
[Kinsman]
And her opponent hails from Baltimore, Maryland ... she weighs in
at one-hundred and forty-eight pounds ... "Coooooooooool"
Kittyyyyyyyyy Taylooooooooor!!!
{"Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent starts playing as Taylor comes
from behind the aisle curtain to a chorus of boos and some cat
calls (no pun intended). She pays them no attention as she walks
confidently down to ringside.}
[Kinsman]
Your referee for this match is Bill Evans.
[Garcia]: And we are under way here in what promises to be a
great match up. Taylor a former EWWA champion and
Blackthorne is a constant challenger for the AWI ladies top
crown.
[Hairie]: Boo hoo -- always a bridesmaid but never a bride.
Oh Boo hoo hoo!
[Garcia]: Anywell ... both ladies lock up ... but Taylor
breaks it up.
{Taylor rolls outside the ring, "shaking out" her arms.}
[Garcia]: I guess she not ready to start the match, or maybe
she didn't have a good grip. Stephen?
[Augustus]: I think Taylor is aware that Dacia has a bit of
a temper at times and may very well be trying to trick Dacia
into following her out.
[Hairie]: Blackthorne _could_ just have breath that wreaks
of haggis.
[Garcia]: Evans on two ... Taylor slinks back into the ring
-- and backs into her corner, telling Evans to keep
Blackthorne back ...
{Evans motions Blackthorne away, and Taylor moves to the center
of the ring. The two women lock up in another collar-elbow tieup.
Taylor grabs Dacia by the hair.}
[Garcia]: Evans issuing a warning to Taylor ... Blackthorne
free on her own -- and just SLAPPED the taste out of
Taylor's mouth!
[Augustus]: Looks like the mind games aren't going the way
Taylor had planned.
[Garcia]: An irate Kitty Taylor letting Bill Evans know she
is none too pleased about what just transpired in the ring.
You're right, Stephen -- it looks like she needs a back up
plan ...
{Taylor drops outside the ring again, looking very miffed.}
[Hairie]: Ask and thou shalt recieve ...
>>RINGSIDE<<
{Alliyah Johnston approaches the ring, and starts talking to
Kitty.}
[Hairie]: It looks like Ms. Johnston is here to do some
advanced scouting on this match.
[Garcia]: Where's the talk of conspiracy now, Hairie?
Blackthorne intently looking on this conversation -- she
definitely wants a piece of Johnston ...
{Evans pushes Blackthorne away from the ropes as Taylor reenters
the ring.}
[Augustus]: Things don't bode so well for Blackthorne at
this point. Two wily veterans against a strong-willed second
year pro. This will be a test of Blackthorne's savvy as well
as her physical skills.
{Dacia takes down Taylor with an armdrag.}
[Garcia]: Blackthorne relying on the physical part for the
moment ...
{Taylor complains to Evans, gesturing that her hair was pulled.
Blackthorne circles around to encourage a crowd response, who
answer the referee strongly in the negative.}
[Garcia]: Dacia goes to the fans for a second opinion, and
they don't seem to agree with Kitty Taylor ...
[Hairie]: Oh, yeah, right! They're all gonna say, "Yes, ref
-- the fat, pig, glutton is cheating like a drunken demon.
Stop her."
[Augustus]: Do you ever quit? You're about as annoying as a
foot fungus!
{Dacia attempts an Irish whip on Kitty, who reverses it, sending
Dacia to the ropes; Alliyah trips her up as she reaches the
ropes, and Dacia stumbles right into a savate kick from Kitty.}
[Garcia]: Taylor in firm control now ...
{Kitty hits Dacia with a back elbow drop, and follows it with a
side headlock.}
[Garcia]: ... and Blackthorne struggles to gain an
advantage ...
{Dacia finally breaks free only to have Taylor throw on a
trapezius pinch. Dacia manages to break free again after a long
moment.}
[Garcia]: Taylor looking to put Blackthorne away with a
neckbreaker ... BUT Blackthorne reverses it! Taylor
frustrated badly, and looking for an out ...
{Taylor rolls outside the ring.}
[Garcia]: ... but Blackthorne has other ideas!
{Dacia grabs a handful of Taylor's hair and pulls her back into
the ring, then DDTs her.}
[Augustus]: Seems like that temper thing of Dacia
Blackthorne's just got the better of her. Or the better of
Kitty Taylor.
[Hairie]: YOU'RE just anti-American, Augustus. You want that
terrorist to win. You're in on the conspiracy. Wait 'til the
whole world finds out, *then* you'll be in trouble.
{Dacia makes a cover.}
[Garcia]: Evans with a count: 1 ... 2 ... Taylor's up ...
{Both women to their feet; Dacia immediately fells Taylor with a
standing discus punch.}
[Garcia]: And Dacia with the Claymore! She's-- What tha--
{Alliyah Johnston is up on the apron jawing with Blackthorne;
Taylor shakes off the stun and comes from behind with a reverse
rollup -- and a handful of tights.}
[Garcia]: Taylor with a blindside AND illegal leverage --
this could be it! NO! ONLY two!!!
[Augustus]: Blackthorne has to remain focused on Taylor if
she is to win this match. If she worries about Alliyah then
she is gonna notch another "L" in the loss column.
[Hairie]: Like it would matter! Her loss column looks like
somebody spilled ink on it anyway!
{Kitty shoves Dacia into a corner, and lays into her with
repeated kicks. She then bends her and hooks her arms, trying for
a suplex, but she can't lift her.}
[Hairie]: MOOOOOOOOOOO!
{Dacia pushes free, then grabs Kitty by the head and lifts her up
for a vertical suplex; Alliyah grabs her foot, throwing her off
balance, and Kitty lands on top of her.}
[Augustus]: This could be it for Blackthorne. I don't see
how she can win with these odds being as overwhelming as
they are.
[Garcia]: Evans with the count: 1 ... 2-- and Dacia escapes
AGAIN! Folks, what a match we have going right now! The AWI
at its best!
{Kitty gets up, and snares the standing Dacia with a DDT.}
[Garcia]: Taylor to her feet first -- catches Dacia with a
*textbook* DDT
{Kitty pulls Dacia to her feet with a front facelock; Dacia
pushes her away, then grabs an arm to shortarm clothesline her.}
[Garcia]: Dacia in troub-- no! What tenacity!! What
fortitude!! What--
[Hairie]: Kinda of freaking garbage was that!? That's the
third time she's tried that and it didn't work. HellOOOOOOO
Kitty!?
{Blackthorne ducks behind Taylor, locks her in a full nelson, and
suplexes her, bridging for a cover: 1 ... 2 ... Taylor kicks
free.}
[Augustus]: There may be hope for Blackthorne yet. Taylor
and Johnston have thrown out eveything they can at the Scot,
but she keeps on going.
[Hairie]: I haven't seen a kitchen sink yet! Have you?
NOOOOOO. Because they haven't thrown it yet!
{Dacia lifts up Kitty and headbutts her, then bounces off the
near ropes and leaps over her for a sunset flip: 1 ... 2 ...
Kitty scrapes a boot across Dacia's eyes, distracting her enough
to reverse the rollup: 1 ... 2 ... Blackthorne kicks her way
out.}
[Garcia]: ANOTHER series of close escapes! These two women
are INCREDIBLE!!! Taylor now cinches on an abdominal
stretch-- what is Alliyah Johnston doing!?
{Johnston is holding Kitty's hand, pulling on it to apply more
leverage.}
[Augustus]: I think she's running the water in the kitchen
sink -- Taylor is now resorting to using Johnston for a
definite physical advantage.
[Garcia]: Evans checking on Blackthorne for the submission,
but Dacia won't quit ... AND HE SEES JOHNSTON'S HAND!!!
Evans calls for the break! Thank God for the little things.
Taylor just winks her eye at Bill Evans ... and he's
allowing the match to continue! UNBELIEVABLE!!!
[Hairie]: What? That Taylor would wink at Evans. Hey, he's a
pretty handsome guy. He's single, too.
{Taylor tries for the neckbreaker again, but Dacia cuts her short
with a kneelift, then sidesteps and drops her with a Russian
legsweep. She lets Kitty get back up, only to DDT her; she then
makes a cover.}
[Garcia]: Evans again with the count: 1 ... 2 ... 3-- no,
Johnston put Taylor's foot on the ropes! This is the THIRD
time at least she's intefered in this match!
[Augustus]: And Kitty escapes again! Most people would say
the third time is the charm, so maybe Blackthorne can still
pull this one out yet.
[Garcia]
{Dacia drags Taylor to her feet, and whips her to the ropes;
Kitty gets the jump on her, literally, with a sunset flip ...}
[Garcia]: Another pin crisis for Dacia -- one! Two ! Thre--
NO!!! These two women will *not* be denied! We've had four
two counts and just as many two and a half counts. How are
they still on their feet!?
{Taylor grabs Blackthorne and hurls her thru the ropes to the
floor below; Alliyah hits her with a kick to the face.}
[Hairie]: Alliyah delivers the kitchen sink! BOOM! What'd
I tell ya! Huh! HUH!!"
[Garcia]: Alliyah just planted a permanent foot print on
Dacia Blackthorne's chin -- that may have done it for
Blackthorne. Evans was distracted with Taylor and didn't
even notice it.
{Alliyah rolls Dacia back into the ring, and delivers a cradle
suplex.}
[Garcia]: Kitty adding insult to injury -- there it is,
the Cat's Cradle! 1 ... 2 ... 3!!! And your winner -- or
should I say *win-NERS, plural -- is "Kool" Kitty Taylor.
[Augustus]: A valiant effort by Dacia Blackthorne -- but in
the end the odds and numbers were too much to overcome.
[Hairie]: Should have payed attention to _Braveheart_.
Dumb Scott.
[Garcia]: Oh enough of you! Folks we're going to take a
quick break and when we come back we'll have some words from
an old AWI mainstay. Stay tuned!
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
{Jack Robertson is sitting on a bench (as in press), towel over
his shoulders, sweaty and looking somewhat tired in a gym which
happens to be not the one he typicaly does his i'views in.}
[Jack Robertson]
How y'all doin'? Its been a while since I've seen you, hasn't it?
Anyways, I've basicaly been working down here {motions to the gym
area}, went back to school, so to speak. As some of you may have
surmised, I'm working with a guy who's somewhat of a legend in
some of the indies ... heck, he's one of the top KW-- er, AWA
draws. You've probably heard of him by now from a certain "future
of professional wrestling" here in the AWI too. I'm speaking of a
Mr.--
{At this point Ed Carr walks into camera range dressed in
wrestling trunks and an "Ed Carr Wrestling Academy" t shirt.}
[Ed Carr]
{interrupting} Jack, get it through your head -- you're here to
get back to basics. I said you could tape the interview as long
as it didn't interfere with training -- and you were supposed to
be working on matwork for the past 5 minutes!
[Jack R]
Well, I s'pose I gotta get back to work then, so ...
{Robertson heads off camera as Carr stands there shaking his
head.}
[Carr]
{to himself} That boy has got to get his priorities straight.
{aloud} Anyway, as Jack was saying -- for those of who don't know
me, my name is Ed Carr. {smirking} As you can tell from the
outfit, I'm a wrestler -- one that happens to have a nice
business on the side training other wrestlers. Jack here has a
lot of potential ... potential that I'm gonna help him realize.
See, I owe the AWI that much, since I was the guy that trained
{ahem} Robbie Stevens. Hey, everyone makes mistakes ... mine
unfortunately is featured on AWI TV every week. Robbie, I know
you're watching this -- I hope you enjoy the next couple weeks.
Jack has the raw tools to begin with, and after I get done
teaching him ... well, I'll put it nice simple words so you
understand. You're going bye-bye Robbie.
{Ed walks off camera to join Jack in the ring.}
=================================================================
{Back to ringside table with Garcia, Augustus, and Hairie; Hairie
is shaking his head negatively.}
[Hairie]
LOSERS! All three of them. Nothing but a bunch of slack-jawed
losers going nowhere fast.
[Augustus]
There were only *two* people in the clip Hairie. What are you
talking about?
[Hairie]
Robertson, Carr, and Blackthorne. You know the chick who's trying
to set a new Guiness record for losses in a single federation.
[Garcia]
OK, enough. By all accounts Jack Robertson /IS/ a talented young
man, and hopefully Ed Carr /IS/ the one to bring it out of him.
As for the past match-up we just witnessed ... that was an
incredible bout between two superb AWI athletes. In my opinion
Ms. Johnston's interference was the determining factor there --
NOT Kitty Taylor's wrestling ability.
[Augustus]
I agree with you there, Raul. It would be satisfying to, for
once, see an athlete put their money where their mouth is and get
the job done on their own.
[Hairie]
Ohhhhhhhhhh ... BITE ME! Both of you! When you read the recap of
the match in print, the bottom line will be Taylor scored a
pinfall victory over Blackthorne. If the ref didn't see it then
it's not cheating. Like I said before: LOSERS!!!
[Garcia]
Speaking of "put up or shut up" ... we have next a man who has
decided to do just that. In recent weeks, and due to comments and
challenges from one Jason Wrath, the AWI Light Heavyweight
Champion "Bulldog" Bryan Bachman has issued a contract that has
him, now get this, defend his title EVERY week on either
Armageddon or Explosion. How's THAT for put up or shut up?
[Augustus]
Bryan Bachman is the most tenacious and focused athlete competing
in the sport today. I have no doubt in my mind that he will soon
be putting his tenacious ability to the test against "The
Hardliner" Jason Wrath, to prove that he is without a doubt the
champion that the AWI recognizes him to be.
[Hairie]
He's stupid if you ask me. Why would you want to risk injury by
wrestling every week leading up to one of the AWI's biggest
PPV's? No, change that. He's not stupid -- he's a LOSER!
[Garcia]
As always, insightful commentary from Mr. Hairie. Fans, without
further adieu, let's go to our next match -- what promises to be
an excitingcontest of mixed competition. It will be Dr. Steve the
*mmphf*
[Hairie]
{covering Garcia's mouth.} Let Kinsmann do his job and we stick
to ours. Shall we?
>>RING<<
[Alan Kinnsman]
Ladies and gentlemen, our next bout features mixed action with
stars from both the AWI men and women's division. Introducing
first ...
{"Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet starts playing over the PA and
the crowd ERUPTS as they immediately recognize the approach of
their long time favorite.}
"... Angela Dante and her partner ... Dr. Steve the
Insaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!!!!
[Hairie]: Loser.
[Garcia]: Stick a sock in it, Hairie. This is going to be
good -- for once the Jade Tiger may have gotten himself into
a jam with no way out.
[Augustus]: I wouldn't quite say that. The Tiger has a
penchant for escaping from the impossible and-- GOOD LORD!!!
{As Steve the Insane and Angela Dante walk down the ramp, Dream
Succubus suddenly bursts thru the curtains and shove Dante off
the ramp.}
[Garcia]: What in the name of heck are those two doing
here?!? Dream Succubus just Pearl Harbored Angela Dante!
[Hairie]: AWESOME BABY!!! And look at that jerk 'Steve the
Idiot'! HE's just standing there twiddling his thumbs! I
LOVE IT!!!
[Augustus]: Steve would never hit a woman, but right now his
partner needs some real help fast.
{Sure enough, Steve is beside himself as Dream Succubus wail away
on Angela Dante with kicks and stomps. As they set her up for a
powerbomb on the concrete Steve decides it time to do something.}
[Garcia]: OH MY GOD!!! THEY WOULDN'T!!! SOMEBODY HELP HER!!
[Hairie]: BOOM! There you go girls -- send her back home!
This is what you call real action!
[Augustus]: Where is your talk of conspiracy now, Hairie?
This is a disgusting display of treachery on behalf of
Dream Succubus!
[Garcia]: Finally, Steve reacting but the damage is already
done. Dante probably has cracked-- WHA-WHAT ARE THEY DOING
HERE?
{As Steve heads over to the side of the ramp, The Crystal Crow,
Jade Tiger, AND Sarah Victory blindside him and start their
assault.}
[Hairie]: Helloooo. They ARE supposed to wrestle tonight.
[Augustus]: This was no doubt a carefully illustrated plan
from the beginning. The Tiger had no intention of stepping
in the ring with either Dante or Steve the Insane.
{As Dream Succubus stand over Angela Dante taunting and kicking
her, the Crow and Tiger pound away on Steve the insane. Sarah
Victory stands to the side of the curtain not participating.}
[Garcia]: Where the heck is security and the EMTs? Somebody
has got to stop this!
{As the attack goes on Brenda Storm rushes thru the curtain to
help her partner, only to be met with a Mule Kick from Victory
that floors her.}
[Hairie]: So much for help. Now THAT'S what I call a serious
conspiracy! They've conspired to give 'Nutso the Insane' and
Firestorm a first class beatdown! {shouting} WHAT A MOVE
TIGER! BRILLIANT!
{Just as security rushes down the ramp Steve the Insane snaps and
throws the Crow off the ramp to the floor, then turns and nails
the Jade Tiger with a bulldog.}
[Augustus]: FINALLY! Steve has had enough -- look at your
conspirators now fleeing for their lives.
[Garcia]: Right you are, Stephen -- but I fear for the worst
in Angela Dante's case. She hasn't moved since that
powerbomb on the concrete. EMTs are just now getting to
her.
{Brenda Storm kneels beside Angela Dante holding her hand as
Steve the Insane kneels on her other side. EMTs hurriedly make their
way to Dante's side.}
[Garcia]: Folks it looks like a train wreck beside the ramp.
[Hairie]: Put a sock in it Garcia! If the jerk Steve the
'Stupid' would have movced sooner he could have prevented
all of this.
[Augustus]: Unfortunately we all know that Steve would never
hit a woman, so he's trapped within his own device.
[Garcia]: We're going to take a quick break and take a few
moments to get things squared away, so stay tuned and--
{Suddenly the fans start cheering and clapping loudly as Angela
Dante has made it to her feet and is walking off under the
support of Brenda Storm and Steve the Insane.}
[Garcia]: Thank god for small miracles. Angela Dante is up
and moving about. Although she looks as if her back is
bothering her, she is definitely fairing better than a few
moments ago.
[Hairie]: Oh, joy. Great cheer and fun. The loser can walk
away. I'm impressed.
[Augustus]: Such a warm and cheerful person. It's a wonder
you haven't won some sort of honor for your tenderness.
SHMUCK!
[Garcia]: Fans, again, we're gonna take a quick break, and
when we return you'll see Scott "Tank" Bradley take on
Jimmy Springheel in one on one competetion. Stay tuned!
=================================================================
{The camera opens on a lush garden. The garden is full of pink
roses. The camera moves among the roses until it stops on a man
in a coveralls pruning some of the flowers. The man is wearing a
pink mask.}
[Man]
The Rose. So beautiful. So serene, so perfect. Just like me. Who
am I, you ask? I am El Magnifico Spectaculare, the greatest
luchador in all of Mexico. You say you have not heard of me? Of
course you haven't! The peons in Mexico are so afraid at my
ability, they fear that I would humiliate their precious stars.
Therefore, I have been unable to wrestle in my home country. I
have languished making appearances in promotions with such
pathetic talent, that I fear I may even be a little rusty.
{He stands up.}
[El Magnifico Spectaculare]
But now, now I have been invited to compete in AWI. A wise move
on their part. For now I, El Magnifico Spectaculare, will be able
to show the world exactly why I am the greatest luchador in not
only all of Mexico, but all of the world! I understand that there
is some foolish luchador in AWI, a man so unimportant in my
country that laughter follows the mention of his name. This man
knows who he is, and he will be the first to fall at my hands.
So prepare for my coming AWI. Prepare well, for if my reception
is not to my standards, then those who face me in the ring will
suffer dearly for the insult! I am coming to save AWI from
obscurity, and save it I will. Soon all will bow before me, and
worship me as the savior that I am!
{El Magnifico Spectaculare waves the camera crew to leave him,
and goes back to his pruning. The camera fades.}
=================================================================
>>BOOTH<<
[Garcia]
Hmmm. Interesting words from an interesting figure. Stephen,
what's your take on this 'Spectaculare'?
[Augustus]
Can't really say much Raul. I mean, I've never seen him wrestle,
and above all we know that the AWI only fields top notch
wrestlers. So to say he dominates in Mexico is one thing. To do
it in the AWI is another.
[Hairie]
Well, great -- another border hopping, taco swallowing, masked
lubricator, luposaur, or whatever the heck it's called, trying to
make a splash in the AWI. The only good thing he said was he'd
take "El Stupido" back to Mexico with him.
[Garcia]
Who is "El Stupido? You mean "El Scorpion" Carlos Mendoza?
[Hairie]
Stupido ... Scorpion. It means the same thing to me.
>>RING<<
{"Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith comes on, and after a few
moments, Stan Jurgens appears through the curtains, and makes his
way to ringside.}
[Garcia]: Well, I'll be. Folks, we have in our company
tonight a surprise visitor -- none other than Stan Jurgens,
former AWI commissioner.
{Stan acknowledges the crowd reaction with a wry grin, and picks
up the mic.}
[Jurgens]
Y'know, this is actually kinda embarrassin' ... I go on one
little fishin' trip down to Cancun, and when I get back y'all
have gone plumb loco on me. {pauses and leans on a turnbuckle,
counting off on his fingers.} First, there's this new TV
champion. Robbie Stevens? People, PLEASE ... that kid can hardly
defend a gold fillin', let alone a belt. Givin' him a
championship match is like teasin' an old dog ... fun for awhile,
but sooner or later somebody's gonna get hurt.
Then, there's that chucklehead with the now-empty waist, stand-in
for any rightful heavyweight champion of the world ... John-Boy
Robertson. Apparently, the Simp from Sweetwater decided that
there's just not enough competition 'round these parts to keep
him interested? Well, here's a few hints on how to improve that
"competition" level. First, y'all can try facin' your opponent.
And while you're at it, it helps to stop movin' at high speeds
away from them. Last but not least, y'all might try wrestlin'
people one at time, all by your lonesome, rather than gettin'
half a dozen like-minded yokels to do your fightin' for you.
Now, I know all that can be tough, John-Boy. So anytime you want
to practice, unless you're still yellow as all get out, come on
back and try beatin' up an old cowboy with a bad back, 'cause I
got this little piece o' paper that says any time you do, we got
ourselves a match. I reckon you figure even I'm too much
"competition", tho ... 'course, my personal theory is, the real
reason you split was because the boys upstairs found more than
Wheaties in your breakfasts.
And speakin' of Daki's DNA ... y'know, when they said to me,
"Stan, we're gonna need that office back, we got ourselves a new
commissioner," I said to myself, "Great, it's about time." I was
thinkin' it had to be somebody like Fender Marshall, or maybe
somebody from the wrestlin' resthome like Pruitt or Keyes.
So imagine my surprise when I turn on that portable TV in my
Bassmaster, and there stares up at me the face of a damn kid.
Now, this Jamon fella, mind you, he's got cajones ... but puttin'
some young buck like that in front of 300 or so pounds of angry
muscle to tell him he's bein' fined, that's just plain suicidal.
{He pauses again, shakes his head} Nope, seems pretty clear to
me. Y'all just can't run things proper 'round here unsupervised
... so it looks like I'm gonna have to stick around awhile, and
keep an eye on things. We can't be havin' these kinda hijinks
poppin' up in this promotion ... it's bad for my constitution.
And if'n my digestion don't improve, I may have to call up some
fishin' friends to fix things ...
{Stan leaves the ring to a mixed crowd reaction.}
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
>>BOOTH<<
[Garcia]
Interesting comments from Stan, who last we checked was on
vacation. Obviously not to pleased with the way things are being
ran in the AWI as of late.
[Augustus]
Well, I can honestly say that I do side with him on some points.
The issue of John Robertson being one of them, and to an extent
the selection of our new commissioner. I personally would have
liked someone with a bit more experience in the industry.
[Hairie]
OK, OK -- Stan has his say. Let's put it to rest so we can get on
with the card. It's OBVIOUS to me that Stan knows there's a
conspiracy going on here. Something you two can't seem to
comprehend.
[Garcia]
OK, folks, on to our next match up which features Jimmy
Springheel vs. Tank Bradley. Take it away, Alan -- but first,
some words from the ever-talkative Robbie Stevens and Team 2000--
>>RINGSIDE<<
{"Dead and Bloated" by Stone Temple Pilots Kicks in over the
O-Rena PA system as Jason Wrath makes his way to the ring with a
fold up chair in tow.}
[Garcia]: Well, it appears Jason Wrath wants to say
something first ...
[Jason Wrath]
Cut the music! Now let me see if I've got this right. According
to the latest issue of "How to be a Punk Magazine", Puppy Chow
Bryan Bachman is rated the number one punk in the world. Go
Figure! After popping all of that garbage on the last show,
instead of facing me I see he's signed a contract to wrestle the
"Mississippi Inbred" Kid. Again, go figure!
{Boos from the capacity crowd as they are starting to grow weary
of Wrath's weekly rants.}
[Wrath]
Now here's the situation, Bachman. If you are any sort of a man
or mutt you'll sign a contract to wrestle me for the Light
Heavyweight belt, that should already be mine, at UNION III.
Otherwise you're nothing more than the gutless, lying,
backjumping, coward that your sorry half-man half-machine manager
is. You issued the challenge, I'm accepting. Put your money where
your mouth is, Bachman. Or are you all bark and no bite? I want
an answer before your 'mandatory three month' title defense. I'm
outta here!
{With that Wrath slams the mic and storms out of the ring.}
>>BOOTH<<
[Garcia]
I hope he's being fined for every microphone he slams at the end
of one of his tantrums. This man is obsessed with Bryan Bachman.
[Augustus]
I think he's obsessed with the title that Bachman posesses. It
seems very clear to me that Wrath wants that Light Heavyweight
title very badly. I can only assume that Bachman will either grow
tired of his whining, or simply beat him until he goes into
another direction.
[Hairie]
Yeahyeahyeah. I thought we had words from my main man Robbie
coming up? What gives?
[Garcia]
Take it away.
=================================================================
{Robbie Stevens, Tank Bradley and Corey Bonham are standing by in
their locker room.}
[Robbie Stevens]
Well, well, well, things are just continuing to look up for Team
Stevens. Last week, the Sharp Dressed Men not only scared the
Honor Guard out of Dodge, but now, I've got TWO chances to win
the AWI North American Tag Team Championship. And not only did
Tank teach those no-goodnicks from the Third World Order a
lesson, but the Jade Tiger and myself put that old geezer Jerry
Straite in his place. God, it's great being me.
Now, onto this week's business. First up, the big man gets to go
a few rounds with Jimmy Springheel.
[Tank Bradley]
Springheel, you think you're tough -- you don't impress me. You
know, when I took out Piersall, everyone said it was because he
fought you first. Well, now I'm gonna prove that I can beat the
crap out of you just as easily. Take a look, Jimmy. I'm a 364
pound brick wall. Punch me all you want, I ain't going down! And
it's gonna be pretty damn hard to punch me when I rip off both
your arms and beat you with the wet ends!
[Stevens]
And then brothers and sisters, for in the glorious North American
Tag Team Tournament, the false prophets of the AWI, Cross Body,
take on the holy crusaders of Rock'n'Roll, the Headbangers 2001!
Can I get an amen?
[Corey]
Amen, Brother Robbie!
[Robbie]
I was in prayer last night ... and I had a vision ... I had a
vision that Jesus came down and visited me ...
[Corey]
Preach on, Brother Robbie!
[Robbie]
And Jesus said to me ... Brother Robbie, you who do God's work so
well by keeping the music alive, because we all know, God gave
Rock 'n Roll to you ...
[Corey]
Amen!
[Robbie]
He said to me, Robbie, I want to show the world that the only
thing holy about Cross Body is that they've got a lot of holes in
their underwear.
And I said, Lord, I will make sure that Corey and myself go out
and win that match ... not only for you ... but for the fans who
believe in us ... and for ourselves ... well, we're gonna win
mostly for ourselves ...
[Corey]
Hallelueh!
[Robbie]
So Cross Body, after we're done beating you from pillar to post,
you'll get your chance to go visit the spirit in the sky! Can I
get an amen?
[Corey]
Amen!
[Robbie]
Can I get twenty dollars?
[Corey]
Uhhhhhh ...
[Robbie]
Well, it was worth a shot. We're gonna...
[Corey/Robbie]
{unison} ROCK ON!
[Robbie]
... to the next round of the tournament!
=================================================================
{Alan Kinsman steps into the ring.}
[Kinsman]
Our next bout is one fall with a ten minute time limit.
Introducing first from Liverpool, England ... weighing in at
two-hundred and forty-three pounds, Jimmmmmmmmmmmmy Springheel!!!
{"Spring-Heeled Jim" by Morrissey kicks in as Jimmy Springheel
makes his way to the ring in his traditional boxing attire
complete with robe.}
[Kinsman]
His opponent ... weighing in at three-hundred and sixty-four
pounds ... Scott ..."Tank" ...BRADLEY!!!
{"Peace Sells" by Megadeth blares over the PA as Bradley stalks
down the ramp with Robbie Close behind holding his newly acquired
Television title over his head with a big grin on his face.}
[Kinsman]
Referee for this bout is Curtis Keyes.
[Garcia]: Both Bradley and Springheel have been laying low
as of late, so it's good to see some of the AWI's top
performers making their appearance here on Armageddon.
{DING!}
[Garcia]: And there's the bell! Bradley with a HUGE size
advantage as he outweighs Springheel by at least a hundred
or more pounds.
[Augustus]: As usual the smaller Springheel is going to have
to stay out of Bradley's clutches if he expects to succeed
here tonight.
[Hairie]: Nawwww, he's gonna have to run up and hug him if
he expects to win. Sheesh!
{The two lock up in a collar-elbow tieup; Bradley gets the
advantage, and scoops Jimmy for a bodyslam. He then drops a knee
on his chest.}
[Augustus]: Already in trouble this early in the match --
maybe Jim has some picked up a little ring rust in his
absence from the squared circle.
[Hairie]: Maybe. But Bradley'll knock it off him. I see
Jimmy getting flattened bigtime. Bradley, AND the most
feared foot in wrestling -- Springheel's dead.
{Bradley picks up Jimmy and throws him out of the ring, where
Robbie is convienently waiting.}
[Augustus]: Uh-oh. Here comes the insult of the 'insult to
injury' phrase.
{Stevens stomps on him, then picks him up.}
[Garcia]: Bradley has the referee's attention ... and it
looks like Robbie's setting up for the 'Wicked Awesome
Superkick'...
[Hairie]: Oh YEAH!!! Nail him Robbie! This is just too
good!
[Garcia]: There it goes ... but Robbie MISSES!!! Springheel
tattoos him with that European jab! STEVENS IS DOWN!!! Talk
abouot retribution for all those times Stevens interfered
in other people's matches ...
[Augustus]: Maybe there is justice in the world after all.
{Referee counts one.}
[Hairie]: Nah. He flew the coop long ago. But here comes the
Tank to administer his own brand of justice.
{two ... three ... Bradley grabs Springheel from behind and...}
[Garcia]: LOOK OUT!
[Hairie]: INCOMING!!!
{... slams him headfirst into the press table. He then drops
Jimmy with an inverted DDT onto the concrete.}
[Garcia]: Springheel looks to be in bad shape ... I think
he's been busted open ... Bradley still not through yet--
OH MY GOD!
{Bradley delivers a powerbomb to the floor.}
[Hairie]: HELL YEAH! Not one but TWO concrete powerbombs in
one night. Our ratings are gonna go though the roof!
[Augustus]: Yes, and Jimmy Springheel's head just went
through the floor!
{Bradley stomps on Springheel, then rolls back into the ring.}
[Garcia]: Looks like Bradley is going to win this one by
count out.
{DING DING DING}
[Kinsman]
"The winner of this by count out...Scott "Tank" Bradley!"
[Augustus]: Looks like Bradley had this planned all along.
Or at least Stevens did. Not a bad strategy for a foe as
dangerous as Jimmy Springheel.
[Hairie]: Look at him. Bloody ... beat ... down and out ...
what a {shouting} LOSER!
>>BOOTH<<
[Garcia]
Enough, Hairie -- I hope he hears you. Stevens and Bradley have
left and Springheel is up and heading back as well. Before we go
any further let me remind you that we do have a great interview
coming up with the AWI's own Heather Rasputin and long time AWI
wrestler Madeline Freechild. That will air before we leave you
tonight. But first, let's go to some words from a not-so-happy
duo, the Toxic Twins ...
=================================================================
{The camera opens on the AWI logo, then pans out to show Perry
and Tyler Toxic. Noticeably absent is Tamara.}
[Tyler]
OK ... I admit it ... I submitted to the wakigatme armbar. Why
deny what I'm sure Cross Body is going to gloat about for months
to come? {in a mock Isaiah O'Brien voice} Thank God almighty I
made Tyler Toxic uncle!
[Perry]
Let's cut the crap right now! Cross Body ... anyone with four
functioning brain cells knows how lucky you two punks got. Let's
be honest ... there was no divine intervention or superior talent
on your side. Frankly, Tyler gave up because we've got bigger
fish to fry ... namely anyone that gets in between us and the AWI
North American Tag Team titles. So enjoy being one of three teams
ever to get the duke over the Toxic Twins because the next time
we get you in our sights, it will be for something that matters
... namely the North American titles or your stinkin' lives!
[Tyler]
I beg to differ, brother dear. The next time I see Templar and
O'Brien, I'm gonna rip their intestines out and hang 'em with
them! Cross Body ... I don't care if it's in the ring, in the
parking lot or in that run down, piece of crap, hellhole you
worship God in ... you're dead! You're not safe in Heaven, you're
not safe in Hell, you're not even safe in a bathroom stall. I
declare the most unholy of wars on you Cross Body because I can
walk the walk, talk the talk and sure as hell put you out of
wrestling ... WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!!!!!
=================================================================
{The scene fades into a small but well stocked gym. The only
occupant currently is 'Zap' London, currently working over a
punching bag. He idly talks to the camera without pausing his
workout.}
[London]
{a faint stress on the R's his only accent} You're not going to
get Blunt to admit it, but the two of us are a lot alike. Sure,
we come from different side if the planet, but we grew up the
same way. Both a couple of punks, me a piece of Euro-trash, him a
ghetto kid. {Three high kicks hit the bag.} Both of us were
looking for a way out, some kind of discipline to order our lives
by. He found the army, I found martial arts. {Leg sweep under the
bag and back up on the same momentum with a hook kick.}
Thing is, at no point in our lives did we ever think about what
we were going to DO. We just kept moving away from whatever
problems we were in at the time, no real direction. {Double
crescent combo} -whuf- Anyway, that's why we're here, for those
of you that are curious. This isn't an ego thing, we're not
fighting because we have to or because we enjoy pain. We're just
don't know how to do anything else, really. {Series of jabs
followed by a snapping roundhouse.}
I guess I should point out that we're also not here to get camera
time. You'll never see us doing toothpaste commercials or moving
on to do a sitcom. If we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it right.
{Several forearm shots, low side kick, followed by the Spinning
Wheel Kick. Zap makes a few attempts to speak, but gives up until
his breath returns.}
{pant} Well, now {pant} we see why in-the-gym talks are rare
these days. {pant} Live and learn, I guess. And both of us have a
lot of living to do.
{Zap snags a towel of a nearby bench and starts wiping the sweat
off his face, and the scene fades out.}
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
[Garcia]
A very upset team of Perry and Tyler Toxic allude to their
submission loss to Crossbody, as well as some insight to the
young duo known as the Chaos Brothers. What's your take on the
North American Tag Team Tournament, Stephen?
[Hairie]
HEY! How come you always ask him his opinion before you ask for
mine? What kinda authority does he have over me!
[Augustus]
Well, aside from the fact that I'm the wrestling analyst, I tend
to have a more neutral point of view when it comes to honest
commentary.
[Garcia]
That and you're a lot less irritating.
[Hairie]
You guys won't be able to keep me down forever. Sooner or later
I'll have my own show, my own federation, my own commentators,
my--
[Augustus]
The sooner the better.
[Garcia]
Fans, we're not going to make you wait any longer. As promised
here is the interview as conducted by Heather Rasputin with
Madeline Freechild.
[Hairie]
Wonder if any 'Indigo Girls' music will lead us into this
interview?
[Garcia]
That's enough!
=================================================================
{Open to the beginning of "Material Girl" by Madonna, and a
dark-skinned, heavily muscled (think Chyna) woman strolling to
ringside, exuding confidence. She appears to be black, with
flowing long hair and a one-piece red costume with "Material
Girl" across the front. Fans of the AWI recognize her as
Madeline Freechild.}
[Heather Rasputin]: Madeline Freechild. At one point, one
of the rising stars of Allied Wrestling International.
Power personfied. Arrogance exuding from every muscle.
{Switch to a shot of Madeline hoisting the Pink Bomber into her
patented "Child's Play" Backbreaker Torture Rack}
[Rasputin]: A fierce competitor that not only rose through
the ranks of the women's division, but managing to raise the
ire of a man or two as well.
{Shot of Robbie Stevens in the infamous "Madeline Freechild is a
MAN" interview.}
[Rasputin]: However, as the star was shooting upwards, a
tragedy struck. Madeline Freechild was caught in a car
accident that nearly ended not only her career, but of other
rising stars as well.
{Cut to Daki Chamberlin, explaining the absence of Maddie, Kerry
Masters, Alliyah Jonhston, and Deric James from Union II.}
[Rasputin]: Now she's back... slimmer... trimmer, and ready
to tackle the competition in the AWI ... competition which
will be, in her words, Child's Play.
=================================================================
{Cut to Heather Rasputin, seated in a studio with Madeline
Freechild. Rasputin wears a business suit; Freechild has a
spandex sleeveless top with jeans. One noticeable feature is her
arms, which are no longer "Chyna-sized", but now closer to the
former Ms. Texas -- still well muscled, but not monster-sized.}
[Rasputin]
Let's start with /THE/ question -- where have you been Maddie?
Others who were in the accident you were in have managed to
return in one way or the other to the ring. What have you been
doing all of these months?
[Freechild]
Well ... {looks away} ... whew, you don't start easy. To be
honest, I was the least hurt in the accident. My time away from
the ring has not been due to injury. Ummm ... how can I say this?
In choosing one's career, there are a lot of paths you can take.
There are some shortcuts you can use to get further to the top,
faster. I'm from a school of thought that, well ... bigger is
better in wrestling, and I took the shortcuts necessary to get
bigger. That doesn't fly with the AWI ... so, there were some
things I had to change ... to get over ... before I could come
back. I've lost 30 pounds over the last few months. I've turned a
lot of fat into muscle. I'll be the first to say that this forced
time off has been what I've needed -- one should never, EVER,
depend on outside things, particularly drugs, for their
self-esteem, for physical prowess, for anything.
[Rasputin]
The AWI's women's division has changed quite a bit since you've
last appeared. What's your take on it's current status?
[Freechild]
It's definitely more exciting, and more varied, than it was
before. When I left there were basically your power wrestlers and
your technicians. Now we have some of the toughest power
wrestlers in the world, but you also have your Angela Dante's ...
your Fallen Angels ... people that can fly at you from left and
right ... people like the Mississippi Queen, who'll pin you five
ways to Sunday ... and people like Jessica Perkins. She's not
big, or particularly fast ... which is what makes her dangerous.
She's the kind of woman that you'd NEVER want to face in a dark
alley.
[Rasputin]
Where do you think you'd fit in this new Women's division?
[Freechild]
At the top. Where else? {laughs} Before, I could probably say
that I was the strongest woman in the AWI, and be pretty
confident about it. Now ... well there's Susan O'Malley ...
Demoness Kimura ... Devil Maruyama ... I don't think I'd bet on
myself in a powerlifting contest. On the other hand, my little
brother Jacky's a collegiate wrestling champ, and, well ... let's
say I've gotten more than my share of training in. I'm slimmer,
trimmer, and better trained than before ... so I think it's a
matter of time before I'm in the running for the title.
[Rasputin]
You mentioned not wanting to be in a dark alley with Jessica
Perkins ... before you left, there was quite a bit of emnity
between yourself and Robbie Stevens. Could you see yourself in
that dark alley anytime soon?
[Freechild]
Heh. Jessie Perkins has enough to deal with between Sarah Victory
and Susan O'Malley. Tori J's ... well, if a one-dimensional
Maddie Freechild can take her out, a multi-dimensional one
DEFINITELY could. And in terms of Robbie himself {laughs} let's
just say that I'm not worried.
[Rasputin]
Who, in your opinion, would offer the toughest challenge in the
AWI women's division?
[Freechild]
There are no easy challenges in the AWI's women's division. None.
Having said that ... the women I'd most like to mix it up with
has to be Fallen Angel or Sarah Victory. Both of their styles are
very much high impact, hit and run. With my style, if I get a
good hold on you, you're dead. I'd love to match it up and see
who'd win. Of course, the fact that one of the two will walk out
of Union III the champion would NEVER cross my mind. {laughs}
[Rasputin]
Last question -- what's your Union III call -- Fallen Angel or
Sarah Victory?
[Freechild]
Why get me in trouble, Heather?
[Rasputin]
It's my job.
[Freechild]
Sarah Victory's got a lot of goods ... but the Angel has more. I
predict the Fallen Angel will hold onto the belt ... until she
finds herself in the Child's Play, giving the title up to me.
{smiles}
[Rasputin]
{laughs} And just a bit of attitude. I like that. Women of the
AWI, Madeline Freechild is back.
=================================================================
[Garcia]
A very impressive physical specimen in Madeline Freechild. She
looks to be in great shape even though she's been gone for some
time now. What's your take on her, Chris?
[Hairie]
Huh ... what? Who? Oh-oh-oh, you mean the she-hulk? Ah, she's
just another loser in a long line of losers tying to prove that
they're better than Johnston, Victory, Dream Succubus, and
anybody else with a good win/loss record.
[Augustus]
As always, calling it right down the middle, huh, Chris?
[Garcia]
Folks, our next and final bout is a championship bout. Earlier,
you heard us talk of "Bulldog" Bryan Bachman and his weekly
defense of his belt. Well, this week he defends against "The
Mississippi Kid".
[Hairie]
"M-I, crooked letter crooked letter I, crooked letter crooked
letter I, humpback humpback ...
[Augustus]
What in God's name are you doing!
[Hairie]
What's the matter, educated man? Can't spell Mississippi without
looking at it in a book!
[Garcia]
Folks, onto our match!
>>RING<<
[Alan Kinnsman]
Ladies and gentlemen our next bout is one fall with television
time remaining ... for the AWI Light Heavyweight Championship.
Introducing first ... weighing in at one-hundred and seventy
pounds ... the Mississippi Kid!!!
{The Mississippi Queen comes out first and as The Mississippi Kid
steps through the curtain and throws his hands in the air, "The
Hardliner" Jason Wrath storms through the curtains with a chair in
hand and smashes it against the Kid's back.}
[Augustus]: WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING!?
[Hairie]: It looks like he's practing his tennis stroke to
me!
[Garcia]: Jason Wrath just nailed The Mississippi Kid with a
steel folding chair ... BUT HERE COMES TROUBLE IN THE FORM
OF BRYAN BACHMAN AND THE RIVERBOAT!!!
[Augustus]: Not so brave when the odds even out and he's
having to face a fair fight.
[Hairie]: Oh, sure! FOUR on one is fair odds? He did the
smart thing. He already said that Bachman had better answer
him before the 'title defense', so blame this 'friendly'
reminder on the mutt!
[Garcia]: Insanity! Wrath took off through the crowd with
Riverboat and Bachman close behind. The Kid has made it to
his feet and is now in the ring. I'm not sure he even knows
what just happened.
[Augustus]: Well, here comes Bachman and the Riverboat to
the ring now. It looks like they're explaning the situation
to the Kid.
[Hairie]: Oh, come on! How hard can it be to get this hick
to understand 'you got brained with a steel chair'?
[Garcia]: Well he must understand that if he chooses to
wrestle, that chair shot probably pushed the odds in
Bachman's favor.
[Augustus]: Well, it looks like the Kid is becoming a man
...
{Both men head for their corners.}
[Augustus]: After that conference the contestants, it looks
like White is going to start the match!
[Hairie]: Man, you guys are SO blind. It's obvious that
Bachman and Wrath are in on this together. What'd I tell you
about the "AWI Conspiracy Theory"?
[Garcia]: Bachman and Wrath? Enough of you, Hairie. This
match is under way.
{The two lock up collar to elbow, and the Kid sends Bachman to
the ropes; he bounces off the opposite ropes and knocks down the
Bulldog with a Lou Thesz press: 1 ... 2 ... Bachman gets a
shoulder up. The Kid lets Bryan stand up, then pulls him to the
mat with a single-leg takedown.}
[Augustus]: Maybe The Kid is inspired enough by thus whole
sneak attack and is looking to send a message tonight. He
may be small in size, but he's got an awful lot of heart.
{The Kid hops onto the second rope, and jumps off with a legdrop;
he picks up Bachman, whips him into the ropes, and rebounds from
the other side with another Lou Thesz press: 1 ... Bachman throws
him off.}
[Hairie]: I'll bet a hundred bucks he'd be a lot better off
if he had a bigger BRAIN than his heart.
[Garcia]: And now it's Bryan Bachman's turn to show how much
heart he has, fighting back ...
{Bachman hits the Kid with a double axehandle as they get to
their feet; he scoops the Kid up, but the Kid flips over his
shoulder. As Bachman turns around, the Mississippi Kid jumps over
him for a sunset flip.}
[Augustus]: Wait a minute -- he's got a hand full of
Bachman's tights!
[Garcia]: Unbelieveable! That he does and luckily Shawntell
White sees it and gives him a warning. After Bachman just
saved him from Wrath can you believe he'd try something like
that?
[Hairie]: Maybe he does have brain. He finally figured out
that Bachman set the whole thing up to make this match a
cake walk.
[Augustus]: PLEASE! HOw dare you accuse Bachman of such
tactics?
[Garcia]: Nonetheless ... the Kid up top quick as a cat ...
{The Mississippi Kid stands up and hops onto the top rope; he
jumps off with a bodypress, but Bachman throws him off before the
referee can make a count. The Mississippi Kid drops a fist on him
while he's down.}
[Garcia]: Fist drop by the Kid -- and he may have just
ticked off Bryan Bachman with that cheap shot.
{Bachman gets up and grabs the Kid's head; the Kid slips out and
bounces off the ropes, knocking down Bryan with a Lou Thesz press
-- this time, he gets no count. He stands up and climbs the
corner before Bachman can stand, jumping off to hit Bryan with a
senton; he gets up and climbs the opposite corner, letting Bryan
stand up before jumping off with a bodypress.}
[Hairie]: Hey, this hick may just amount to something yet.
GO KID!!! KICK HIS FURRY BUTT!!!
[Garcia]: The Kid indeed making an impressive showing ...
{The Kid lifts Bachman to his feet, and grabs him in a front
facelock, but Bachman reverses the lock and swings him into a
neckbreaker. He picks up the Kid, and whips him into the corner;
Bryan charges in, but the Kid ducks aside and knocks him into the
corner himself with an enziguiri kick.}
[Augustus]: I have to say that between the Wrath attack and
the Kid's sudden sense of "fair" play, Bachman may have a
hard time staying mentally focused on this match.
[Garcia]: Could be, Stephen ...
{The Kid goes for another senton, Bachman moves out of the way.}
[Garcia]: ... Bachman takes the offensive now ...
{Bachman knocks down the Kid with a drop kick as he's getting up.
Both men get to their feet, and Bryan hits the Kid with a double
axehandle, then scoops him up for a shoulderbreaker.}
[Garcia]: ... Bachman is turning up the heat as he always
does when the going gets tough.
{Bachman pulls the Kid to his feet, and the Kid responds with a
kneelift that knocks him down.}
[Hairie]: Puh-LEASE spare us the speech about how tenacious,
and unrelenting, and indominatable Bryan Bachman is. Because
if you do I'm going to puke.
{The Kid hops onto the second turnbuckle, and jumps off for a
leg drop.}
[Augustus]: Maybe we should be talking about how unrelenting
the Kid is. He is really taking the fight to Bachman.
[Garcia]: That he is.
{The Kid lifts Bachman up, throws him to the ropes, and bounces
off the opposite side with another Lou Thesz press: 1 ... 2 ...}
[Garcia]: THREE!!! HE DID IT! HE PINNED BRYAN BACHMAN!!!
UNBELIEVEABLE!!!"
[Alan Kinnsman]
Ladies and gentlemen ... your winner and NEEEEEEEEW AWI Light
Heavyweight Champion ... The Mississippi ... KIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!
[Hairie]: M-I, crooked letter crooked letter I, crooked
letter crooked letter I, humpback--
[Augustus]: Oh, stuff it, Hairie! Indeed an upset of epic
size as the Mississippi Kid becomes the NEW Light
Heavyweight Champion going into UNION.
[Garcia]: Truly an unexpected turn of events for
Bryan Bachman as he loses his belt to the young rookie from
Mississippi, after he decided to let the match continue in
spite of Wrath's chair attack. Who would have thought it?!?
[Hairie]: See. Told you Bachman was an idiot for defending
the title every week. He could have defended it once a month
until he lost it. {whining} But nooooo. He had to be the big
man on campus. Didn't he?
[Garcia]: Folks, we're out of time this week on Armageddon.
Please tune in next week for another two hours of live
wrestling from the AWI and your staff here at Armageddon! So
long and good night!!
=================================================================
Copyright 1998 Allied Sports Entertainment, Inc.
Written by Cordell Walker
Edited for archives by Bryant Berggren
=================================================================
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