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"YOU'RE WATCHING ... CBS ... WELCOME HOME."
=================================================================
: RECORDED EARLIER
{Cut to the parking lot where Robbie Stevens, Tank Bradley and
Corey Bonham are carrying their bags into an arena. Corey is
limping a bit.}
[Robbie]
You know Ed Carr, you thought you had us outsmarted! WRONG! Jack
Robertson, I'm glad you found a career that suits you, because
you sure as hell aren't a wrestler so maybe being a rent-a-cop is
more up your alley. From the way too close look I got at you, I
can tell all you've been doing is sitting on your butt and eating
donuts ... a habit I'm sure you've learned from the Ed Carr
physical training program.
But you see Ed, you thought having Mr. Donut handcuffing at
ringside would work, but you were outsmarted yet again. You
tried, and might I add, failed to hurt Corey. Sure, he's had 237
operations on his bad ankle and you tried to take the short cut
and work it over. But then, we outsmarted you. I distracted the
ref and Corey tapped out so you would stupidly break the hold ...
[Corey]
Dude, I did? I mean, yeah ... I did! I totally outsmarted him,
dude! Like, Robbie gave me like the baseball signals to do it,
and like, you totally fell for it.
[Robbie]
Yeah Ed. One of the few useful things I learned from you ...
aside from the fact a fat chick will marry any guy who asks them
... ref didn't see it ... it didn't happen! So we showed you who
the smart ones are.
{At this point, the trio is walking down the dimly lit hallways
of the arena, towards the locker areas. The camera pulls back to
show Roswell Gates and Ed Carr approaching them, accompanied by a
couple of security personnel.}
[Robbie]
Hey, look, it's Ed! How's the head! Ah, who cares -- Tank, finish
the job ...
[Ed Carr]
Hey, easy there big man ... I'm not here to make trouble. I just
happened to be talking with Mr. Gates here, and he was surprised
that Robbie here hasn't had a lot of attention for that TV title
of his. So, nice guy that I am, I suggested that Robbie get a
title defense this show ... wouldn't want him to get ring rust or
anything.
[Roswell Gates]
Indeed ... Mr. Carr *has* brought it to the attention of the
Championship Committee that Robbie Stevens' defenses of the
Television Championship have been less than satisfactory.
Therefore, we have mandated a defense against the first suitable
contender who requested a match. Tonight, Mr. Stevens, you will
be wrestling Justice.
{Ed smiles, somewhat smugly, as Gates nods curtly to Robbie and
starts to leave; the security personnel remains behind.}
[Robbie]
WHAT? JUSTICE?!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'm the champ! I call
the shots! I owe Keith Matthews a title shot! You can't just rob
him that!
[Ed]
Kid, I admit, you got the win last week. You and I both know that
you gave up, but I was stupid, and you capitalized. You took
advantage of the situation - that I can respect. Now I'm taking
advantage of something ... your move, Robbie.
[Robbie]
My move! MY MOVE! I'll show you my move! Tank, break him into
little puzzle pieces so we can put him back together ... and then
break him again!
{The security personnel move in front of Carr, expecting an
advance, but instead Bradley grabs Robbie in an effort to
restrain him.}
[Tank]
Don't worry about it, Stevens. I've dropped Justice on his head
so many times, you won't have any problems getting past him. How
about you save some of that for the ring ...
{Fade out as Bradley and Corey drag off Robbie.}
=================================================================
{The view fades into a CGI image of a gun barrel interior (a
la Bond movies), the POV rapidly backing out along it's length
to bring the gun itself into view. As Golden Earring's
"Twilight Zone" cues up. The gun turns to the left in profile.}
[Music]
It's 2am (it's 2 am)/Fear is gone (fear is gone)
I'm somewhere where/The Gun's still warm
Thinking my connection/Is tired of taking chances
{The chamber of the animated revolver opens, as a sequence of
video images of wrestling action move up the right side of the
screen, encased in a "film loop". Every other image is "sucked"
into one of the revolver chambers as it passes the center.}
Yeah, there's a storm on the loose/Sun reigns on my head
Wrapped up inside themselves/Circuits are dead
Cannot decode/My whole life spins into a frenzy
Now I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone
This is a madhouse/Feels like being home
My feet they can't move/Under moon and star
Where am I to go Now that I've gone too far
{The chamber of the gun closes and spins, as the gun rotates
around the long way to eventually face the viewer.}
You will come to know/when the bullet hits the bone ...
You will come to know
... when the bullet hits the bone ...
{A loud drumbeat corresponds with the firing of the gun; as the
bullet rapidly "strikes" the screen, it causes a bright flash
and the logo:
=================================================================
_ __________=___ A W I ___=__________ _
\\@([____]_____() | | |\ | [~ ()_____[____])@//
_/\|-[____] |_ | | \| [_ [____]-|/\_
/ /(( ) OF ( ))/ \
/____|'----' [~ | |} [~ '----'|____\
\____/ [ | |\ [_ \____/
=================================================================
: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, IL
{The logo splits in two to reveal a crowded arena, packed with
cheering fans; to prove these aren't the same cheering fans as
last week, the camera view dissolves to a closeup of the
aisle seats, panning across various individuals mugging for the
camera, including a pretty co-ed type waving an "Awesome One"
Kerry Masters poster, two rowdy guys in Team Stevens t-shirts
mocking the camera, a wiry guy with glasses near the front
holding a sign saying "Gardner's Going To WAR!", and a goofball
dressed like Mariposa del Hierro, pushing a "Tag Me, Steve"
sign towards the camera ...
... eventually, the camera manages to get to the
announcer's table just behind the safety railing, where our
three hosts now sit:
: Justin Escobar Chad Swayze Mike Marone
[Escobar]
Ola and welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another exciting
edition of AWI: Line of Fire! And can you believe what we've
just heard? Television champion Robbie Stevens will have to
face JUSTICE tonight to defend his belt!
[Swayze]
How can they DO that?! That belt is Team Stevens property,
Justino! We paid for that in blood, sweat, and tears!
[Marone]
Yeah, but was any of it Robbie's?
[Swayze]
The point is, champs don't follow rules -- they MAKE the rules!
And Robbie's a champion in every sense of the word! Who's this
Gates guy think he is to tell Robbie what to do?
[Escobar]
He's the head of the Championship Committee?
[Swayze]
It's just a cryin' shame, that's all.
[Marone]
And you guys are doin' all the cryin'.
[Escobar]
Our colleague's somewhat skewed opinions to the contrary, it
promises to be a great title match, more than worthy of main
event status. But it's NOT tonight's main event?
[Swayze]
WHAT?
[Escobar]
Because tonight the AWI World champion, Ken Mischief, will face
off against "the Awesome One" Kerry Masters!
[Swayze]
Well, that's different ... I can see where a public execution
would take precedence. Who's doing the Loss-of-One's eulogy?
[Escobar]
Quite the comedian, but I think the Awesome One is going to give
Mischief a lesson in quality competition.
[Swayze]
What, is he gonna bring pictures of Tank to ringside with him? I
don't think so, Justino -- he'd be too scared to look at them
anyway.
[Marone]
So you're sayin' he's going to fight Tank next week with his eyes
closed? WOW, Chad, even I've got more faith in your buds than
that ...
[Swayze]
No, you melonhead, I--
[Escobar]
Separate corners, gents ... right now, it's time for the debut
of a man who may very well make his mark on the AWI in the weeks
to come ...
=================================================================
[The scene opens in a college gymnasium, where several pairs of
collegiate wrestlers grapple on practice mats. On one mat, a man
in his mid-twenties sporting an old-fashioned crewcut and a UCONN
VARSITY WRESTLING sweatshirt is locked up with a young college
grappler. They go through a series of amateur wrestling moves
until the older man pinions the arms of the other behind him and
rolls him over, pushing his shoulders to the mat. A coach nearby
counts the pinfall with a slap on the mat, and the older man
helps the younger to his feet and shakes his hand.
[Student]
You're faster than you look, Karl.
[Karl]
{speaking with a light German accent} Never go by looks, David.
{Karl walks away from the practice area and sits down on a
bleacher, facing the camera. The gasps and grunts of wrestlers
continue to echo in the background.}
[Karl]
My name is Karl Von Eichmann. Yes, I am from Germany, although
I am now an American citizen. No, I am not a Nazi, or a
stormtrooper, or any other outdated German cliche. I am a man of
few words, but AWI has asked me to introduce myself, and so here
I am.
{He looks over his shoulder at the practicing wrestlers for a
moment.}
[Karl]
I have an amateur wrestling background, and I still practice my
amateur skills. But I have wrestled professionally in Europe
and Mexico, and I am aware that success in the professional
ranks demands more than amateur skills--but it also demands more
than undisciplined brawling. In either case, you will find me a
very focused opponent, and I look forward to finally wrestling
as a professional in my adopted country. I am very proud of
being given a chance to succeed in America, and I do not take
the opportunity lightly. I suggest to my opponents that they do
not do so either.
Now if you will excuse me, I have some work to do.
{Karl walks back to a waiting wrestler, and the two lock up on
the mat as the scene fades out.}
=================================================================
{"VOA (Voice of America)" by Sammy Hagar blasts over the
speakers, and the fans cheer boisterously for the first wrestler
of the night ... the previously-seen Karl von Eichmann makes his
way determinedly to the ring, where Digger Douglas futilely tries
to convince the fans to support him instead ...}
[Escobar]: And Karl von Eichmann now set to lock up in his
first match for Allied Wrestling International ...
[Swayze]: Wake me when it's over. Man, could he get ANY
stiffer? I've seen tennis shoes with more personality than
this guy.
[Marone]: Digger's got personality. He's also got more
losses than my '74 Pinto has dings.
[Escobar]: Touche, Mike ... but we're underway now ...
{Digger decides cheap-shotting to be the better part of valor,
and charges Eichmann with a kneelift as the German slips thru
the ropes ... he then follows up by smashing Karl into the
turnbuckle ...}
[Escobar]: And Douglas is under, too -- WAY under any
integrity, with a move like that!
[Swayze]: Serves Hans the Rube there right for not seeing it
coming.
[Marone]: Lemme get this straight. He's supposed to assume
the other guy's gonna play dirty, and that makes him a bad
wrestler?
[Swayze]: Now you're followin', Mikasa ... couple hundred
years, and you'll be walkin' erect like the rest of us!
{Douglas continues, pounding on Karl with a few gutpunches,
then turns to yell at the booing crowd ... Karl recovers faster
than Digger expected, however, and Digger suddenly finds himself
in a Japanese armbar after a single-leg takedown ... he
squirrels to the ropes, and fairly yells at referee Tom Newman to
break the hold ...}
[Escobar]: Douglas continuing his attack ... and now he's
just MOCKING the fans -- but he's underestimated his
opponent, and Karl makes him pay! But they're too close
to the ropes, and Newman forces the break ...
[Swayze]: What I can't figure out, Justino, is where this
man's pride is.
[Escobar]: Pride? What are you talking about?
[Swayze]: Here's a guy who comes from one of the greatest
nations on the planet, a country that's nearly taken over
the world something like three times, and a country that
kicks France's butt like clockwork every twenty years ...
and he comes in here using Japanese moves and talking up
America? What a sellout!
[Escobar]: I-- I think that's the most ridiculous thing
you've ever said, Chad.
[Marone]: Wait five minutes. I always do.
{Karl goes on the offensive as Digger gets to his feet,
delivering a trio of forearm uppercuts, then whipping Douglas to
the opposite ropes to return the knee lift, followed by a DDT.}
[Escobar]: Von Eichmann now in total control ... a barrage
of European uppercuts--
[Marone]: Well, no, they used to be European uppercuts.
Now they're American uppercuts.
[Escobar]: Douglas into the ropes ... big kneelift -- AND
WHAT AN IMPACT! Douglas near totally out of this one!
[Swayze]: He'll screw this up somehow ... I mean, he's from
CONNECTICUT now, really -- name one good thing that ever
came out of Connecticut!
[Marone]: We did, after our last show in Hartford, remember?
[Swayze]: Just who's house-sitting for your brain right now?
{Von Eichmann latches on a camel clutch, only with just one arm;
the other locks a claw onto Douglas's temples.}
[Escobar]: And Karl Von Eichmann with the Iron Cross, a
specialty he's had great success made famous in catch-style
tourneys all across Europe ... and Douglas has had MORE than
enough of this match! Newman's calling for the bell!
[Swayze]: It's about time! I was wondering when he would DQ
this yahoo for excessive boring!
[Escobar]: You might think he's boring, Chad, but these fans
certainly don't -- and I'm sure they'll be seeing MUCH more
of Karl von Eichmann in the future ...
[Swayze]: Hey, don't threaten ME ...
[Marone]: Let's go to the tape!
[Swayze]: What tape?
[Marone]: I don't know, but every time you say something
/really/ goofy, Justin holds his head and says let's go
to some tape, so I guess we gotta go to a tape -- right,
J?
[Escobar]: Strangely enough, you're right -- we've these
comments from perhaps the LAST AWI Women's Tag champions ...
=================================================================
{Fade in to shot of Brenda Storm and Angela Dante, wearing the
AWI Women's Tag Team belts; behind them is a digitized graphic of
the word "FIRESTORM" burning in CGI flames over a dark
cloudscape.}
[Angela Dante]
{one hand resting on her belt} So ... once again the men in suits
decide that those things that are of no use to them must be
pushed to one side. And it is hard to argue with them. Pretending
that titles matter when there is no one to challenge for them is
difficult. And it's not like we're the most intimidating
opponents {slight smile}
[Brenda Storm]
You know, we've said time and time again that we'd be willing to
defend these titles against any challengers, but that doesn't
seem to work. Which means that we have to find out things to keep
ourselves busy. And since Angela has a boyfriend who likes to
spend time with her, she's got something to keep her busy.
{Angela blushes and smiles slightly}
[Storm]
So I guess that means I have to go find myself something to keep
me busy. And it doesn't take long to find someone who likes
mouthing off and making challenges. Sarah Victory, you've run me
down and called me out time and time again. Sarah, I said you're
a good athlete but you don't need to take short cuts. All I'm
saying is that if you want to prove to me how good you really
are, just sign the match and try to beat me fair and square.
Titles on the line or not. It doesn't matter to me.
{Angela pulls off her belt, and looks at it intently}
[Dante]
These belts... they were supposed to mean something. Their
appearance was supposed to signify the best of the best. We may
have been the best ... but we never really had the opportunity to
prove it. The significance was gone. The appearance was
deceiving. {looks up at the camera} Now, we have another case of
appearances being deceiving. Madeline Freechild appears to have
returned to the days when she seriously assaulted people ... yet
she wears a mask to do it. This is an appearance that bears
closer scrutiny.
[Storm]
And one last thing, just because we're not going to be teaming
until someone decides to offer us a challenge, doesn't mean we
still don't have each other's backs.
=================================================================
COMING UP: The War Machine leads a French Revolution!
COMMERCIALS: Pontiac -- we build excitement! ... Did somebody say
-- MacDonalds? N64 -- get N, or get out!
=================================================================
{The scene opens on a decrepit and hollow-looking barn, adrift in
a sea of weeds and overgrown grass. Standing in front of the barn
is Paul Stone. He looks over his shoulder at the gaping doorway
of the barn nervously.}
[Paul Stone]
This is Paul Stone, once again on location, to bring you a
follow-up interview with that ... enigmatic AWI newcomer, "The
Scarecrow" Dominic Nightshade. Earlier this week, The Scarecrow
passed along these previously-taped comments
{The scene shifts to a close-up of Nightshade's face, shot with
flickering, cheapo 8mm black and white film. Over his pale blond
hair is a battered black hat which casts deep shadow over his
scarecrow face paint.]
[Dominic Nightshade]
The Scarecrow would like to apologize to Paul Stone and Allied
Wrestling International for my behavior last week. In my zeal to
make a memorable first impression, I certainly never meant to
frighten or threaten Paul or any other member of AWI's broadcast
staff, and I would like to invite Paul and his crew back for a
more serious interview. Thank you.
{The view cuts back to Stone (and color).}
[Stone]
Those were the Scarecrow's comments from earlier this week ...
{He looks around briefly.} ... and even though he said he would
meet me out front here, I don't see him anywhere--
{The shot abruptly and shakily pulls back, and the Scarecrow is
revealed standing at the hayloft doors, about ten feet above the
ground. Paul Stone looks in the direction of the camera strangely.}
[Stone]
What is it, Lenny?
{Lenny's hand enters the shot, pointing up at The Scarecrow, who
now has a coil of rope in his hand, and a hangman's noose around
his neck.}
[Stone]
What are you poi-- Oh! {He turns around and sees.}
[Nightshade]
{In a whispery voice, while busily throwing a rope over the
pulley beam that protrudes from the hayloft and tying it off to a
door beam} I've been thinking, Paul. About the way life has
mistreated the Scarecrow, and how that's made The Scarecrow
mistreat the people around him -- like you, the other day. And
then the answer hit me {he tightens the noose around his neck}
... so simple, really ...
{As Paul Stone shouts "NO!!!" The Scarecrow steps off the edge of
the hayloft and jerks to a stop a foot or so off the ground,
twitching slightly, head cocked at an odd angle.}
[Stone]
OH MY GOD!! We gotta cut him down -- quick, man!!! Oh, je--
{As Paul rushes around ineffectually, The Scarecrow suddenly
jerks his head upright, reaches over his shoulder, and pulls on
something, which causes him to slide out of a harness which had
been his weight. He lands lightly on the ground, and claps a
white-gloved hand on Paul's shoulder.}
[Nightshade]
Trick or treat.
{Stone makes an unintelligible noise of panic, stumbling
backwards. The Scarecrow yanks the microphone out of his hand and
advances on the camera.}
[Nightshade]
Here's a little message for the weaklings of Allied Wrestling:
The Scarecrow always does what he wants to do, in the ring or
outside of it. Maybe that doesn't worry you. What _should_ worry
you is that you will _never know_ what The Scarecrow wants to do.
You see, it doesn't matter if it's summer, winter, or spring or
autumn: it's always Halloween when The Scarecrow's around. Trick
or treat.
{He drops the microphone and walks into the dark interior of the
barn.}
=================================================================
{"Control" by Traci Lords sounds over the PA, as Sarah Victory
comes strolling down the aisle rather impassively. She is wearing
black jeans and boots, a black t-shirt with the AWI Women's World
Championship belt around her waist and her black leather jacket
over it. She is wearing a pair of sunglasses and holds a pair of
nunchaku that she is lazily twirling as she makes her way into
the ring.}
[Marone]: So, like, is Paul getting hazard pay for this?
Are we at least paying his therapist bills?
[Escobar]: I'm not sure, but perhaps we'll have more light
shed on this enigmatic trickster when he debuts next --
que? Sarah Victory isn't scheduled to be here tonight ...
[Swayze]: YOWZAS, my trousas! Forget the schedules,
Justino--when a lady like that wants the mic, she gets it!
{As the music stops, Sarah gets the mic from the announcer.}
[Sarah Victory]
Well, well, well. Does anyone else here see a problem besides me?
Chamberlain and his suits give me 60 days to save this division,
then what happens? Last week we were forced to suffer through
Maddie Freechild and through Colt Kawaii's matches. Yeah, /that/
will keep the viewers tuned in. This week I see they didn't see
fit to have anyone on the card.
[Escobar]: That's somewhat inaccurate -- we WERE scheduled
to have Colt facing off against Alliyah Johnston, but
the competition committee decided last week's extraordinary
circumstances warranted giving Ms. Kawaii an extra week to
prepare.
[Swayze]: Yeah, they couldn't find a pony small enough for
her to ride outta Dodge on.
[Marone]: That reminds me of something ... just what was
it ... somethin' about you and crackin' on Colt Kawaii ...
gosh, I wish I could remember ...
[Swayze]: I, uh, don't think it was all that important,
Mike--say, why don't I just go get you a beer ...
[Victory]
Well, I told all you people that Sarah Victory could carry this
division all by herself, and despite the fact I'm working
/without/ a contract, I'm going to prove it tonight. Now we know
most of the quote "stars" of this division are scared stiff to
face me, but I've managed to find an opponent, so tonight, the
title will be on the line, although I seriously doubt it will be
in much jeopardy. Send out the next victim...
{Sarah drops the mic and pulls off her jacket and tosses it
outside the ring as the Pink Bomber comes down the aisle. Sarah
waits patiently as Bomber gets in and Sarah shows her the belt as
a ref hurriedly runs down and scoots into the ring. The ref calls
for the bell and Sarah, still wearing the belt, grabs the Pink
Bomber and whips her into the ropes, on the rebound, she jumps as
if for a leapfrog, but instead lashes out with a savate kick.}
[Escobar]: The Bomber takes a HARD leaping thrust kick to
the head ... and that mask of hers is no protection against
the force of Sarah Victory's martial arts!
[Marone]: Yeah, man -- that nearly took off her HEAD ...
which, actually, would be kinda messy. Good thing it stayed
on.
[Swayze]: Unlike yours.
{Sarah gets up and rolls her eyes in disgust as she puts a foot
on to the chest of the Pink Bomber and the ref counts to three.}
[Swayze]: {exaggerated sniff} It's poetry in motion, baby.
[Escobar]: Given, an impressive performance, however brief,
from our Women's World champion -- but then again, in all
fairness there are many women of *far* greater potential
than the Bomber ...
[Swayze]: It's called sending a message, Justino!
[Escobar]: What kind of message do you send by nearly
decapitating an obviously lesser-talented opponent?
[Marone]: That we're gonna need some more 'Bombers?
{Sarah then grabs the mic back from the announcer.}
[Sarah Victory]
Yes, yes, we know, winner and still champion and all that ...
Anyways I think that proved my point. {She listens to the crowd,
who is booing strongly in disagreement} Okay, I'll tell you what.
Next week, I'm declaring an open contract. The first person to
contact me, gets a title shot. Simple as that. I'll take on
anyone in the league. Chamberlain, you'll be hearing from me, and
you better have your checkbook ready pal.
{Sarah tosses the mic back to the announcer as "Control" comes on
again and she grabs her jacket and heads back to the dressing
room.}
[Escobar]: And Sarah Victory issues a bold challenge to any
comer ... we'll see next week what comes of it! For the
moment, let's go to Paul Stone, on assignment again.
=================================================================
: LIVE --- ROSEMONT HORIZON
{Paul Stone is standing at the back entrance of the Horizon,
holding a microphone. The sound feed carries the echo of the
portable camera.}
[Paul Stone]
Hello, fans! I'm on location tonight, here where I've been told
the woman with the new attitude, Madeline Freechild, will soon be
arriving ... {soto voce} who's I'd MUCH rather be around than
that Nightshade fellow ...
{Madeline Freechild walks through the door, entering the building.
She is wearing street clothes (sweat pants and a sports bra),
with a "New Orleans Saints" cap. She looks like she's already in
a bad mood.}
[Paul]
Ms. Freechild! I'm glad I caught you! Can you spare some time for
comments? AWI fans are perplexed by your seeming change of
attitude ... the new outfit ... the vicious nature ... your
attack on Dacia Blackthorne ... can I get a comment from you?
{Maddie jerks the mike up to her mouth, pulling him wildly toward
her. With her other hand, she digs in her bag, and pulls out a
sheet of paper, then sticks it really close to his face.}
[Madeline Freechild]
You know what this is, Paul?
[Stone]
Ummm ... a black and white blur, from this range.
{She looks at him with exasperation, then pulls the paper back.}
[Stone]
It looks like a bonus plane flight or something...
[Freechild]
That's what it is, Paul. I was stuck in New Orleans last week,
because my flight got cancelled. So, I go home, and throw on Line
of Fire, and do you know what I saw?
[Stone]
Yourself near crippling--
[Freechild]
WRONG!!!!! I saw a very tall, very muscular woman try to make me
look really, REALLY bad for the second time. Now ... do I LOOK
like I want somebody to make me look bad?
[Stone]
Ummmm ... errr ... this a trick question, right?
[Freechild]
The answer is "No", Paul. I don't. So what's going to happen is
that I'm gonna go through this building until I find whoever it
was. You see, six foot tall bodybuilding women aren't common, so
she won't be hard to find. And when I find her... I'll show her
exactly what the Child's Play is all about!!!
{She pushes Paul to the side, and storms off.}
[Stone]
Gee, maybe Dominic wasn't so bad ... nah.
=================================================================
>>BOOTH<<
[Swayze]
Can you believe the lengths she's going to just to avoid a
fine? Yeesh -- forging airline documents?
[Escobar]
*Please* Chad, show some restraint ... I think the extreme nature
of these recent events hint at *some* kind of trickery even
without this evidence, so I'm inclined to--
[Swayze]
To play apologist for the sometimes Lady in Red -- right. Hey, as
long as she keeps breaking people's heads, I'm happy -- makes
more room for Tori. And believe me, Tori needs a LOT of room ...
[Marone]
I believe it -- she's CRAZY ... hey, by the way, thanks for the
brew, Chad.
>>RING<<
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen ... our next bout is set for one fall, with
a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, weighing in at
two hundred and twenty one pounds ... he weighs in at two hundred
and twenty-one pounds ... STEFAN SCHREIBER!!!
{"We Tryin' to Stay Alive" by Wyclef Jean cues up on the PA, as
Stefan marches his way down to ringside, carrying a duffle bag
with his logo on it; the fans cough up a flurry of boos, which
only makes his expression more smug and self-important.}
[Rod Allen]
And his opponent tonight ... he stands seven feet, one inch tall
... weighing in at three hundred and eighty-five pounds ... from
the city of Olympia, Washington ...
>>AISLE<<
{The lights dim, and smoke pours from projectors just in front of
the aisle entrance; spotlights illuminate a large shadow emerging
from the smoke, who walks into the aisle under a gauntlet of
sparklers which light up in synch with the opening guitar chords
of "War Pigs" (the Faith No More cover).}
[Allen]
-- the IRON MAN of the A-W-I ... the "WAAAAAAR MACHINE"
GRRREG GAAARDNEEERRR!!!
{The crowd erupts into cheers as Gardner stalks his way into the
ring; he's making a preliminary circle to absorb cheers, when ...}
>>RINGSIDE<<
{... the camera shows Jack Fury emerging from the crowd, with a
determined frown on his face. He steps into the ring, and
snatches the microphone away from Rod.}
[Jack Fury]
I want to make an open challenge to anyone in the AWI to meet me
in the ring next week on Line of Fire! It's obvious it would have
to be someone less cowardly than Greg Gardner, because he hasn't
exactly been banging on my door to face me in the ring!
{Gardner moves towards Fury with an angry expression, but Fury
hops out of the ring and hits the opening bell; the referee
directs Gardner back to the center of the ring.}
[Swayze]: The big man's bluffing ... you can see the fear
in his eyes -- fear of the Jackhammer! He's been in it
before ... pleaded, BEGGED to be let free ... he cried
like a baby, people ...
[Escobar]: I think you're exaggerating the outcome of their
last confrontation slightly ...
[Swayze]: You're right ... he didn't ACTUALLY wait until
the Jackhammer was ON to start crying. I--I was inaccurate.
I'm sorry ...
[Marone]: Not as sorry as you're gonna be -- I think
Gardner tapes these shows.
{Stefan raises his hands high above his head, waving his fingers
in an invitation.}
[Escobar]: Stefan Schreiber amazingly enough calling for a
test of strength ... you have to credit the man, he must be
*very* confident in himself ...
[Marone]: Hey, what's the French word for confidence?
[Swayze]: Why, I think it's ... "Schreiber"!
[Marone]: Whoa, what a coinkydink.
{Gardner accepts the challenge, and Stefan immediately throws a
lunge kick into his groin when they lock fingers, then grabs him
in a side headlock.}
[Escobar]: Mike, I don't really thi-- oh, what a typical
cheap shot from Stefan!
[Swayze]: Cheap? What was cheap about that?
[Marone]: Oh! I know this one!
{Gardner breaks out, and Schreiber rakes his face.}
[Escobar]: That was blatantly below the belt!
[Marone]: I was gonna SAY that!
[Swayze]: Gardner's got a foot and a half on him!
EVERYTHING Stefan can do is below the belt!
[Marone]: Hmm ... that's actually a good point.
{Stefan bounces off the ropes, and Gardner drops low to evade;
Stefan leapfrogs him, and rebounds from the opposite side,
ducking a Gardner clothesline. Stefan spins around quickly and
fells Greg with a drop kick.}
[Escobar]: Quick thinking and quick aerial tactics on the
part of Stefan Schreiber ...
[Swayze]: As opposed to Tall Bunion here, about whom
NOTHING is quick.
[Marone]: Well, he fell pretty quick there ...
{Stefan pulls up Gardner and delivers another low blow, then
attempts to grapple -- Gardner pushes him away with a kick to the
groin, then scoops him up to slam down in a powerbomb.}
[Escobar]: Another cheap shot-- no! CASTIGO! Gardner with
the big bomb, and Stefan must be hurting!
{He lets Stefan get back to his feet, then whips him to the
ropes; rushing from the other side, he connects with a
clothesline.}
[Swayze]: Lucky shot-- hey, what's HE doing out here?
>>AISLE<<
{Steve the Insane is floating in a slow pace around the aisle
entrance; he seems to be watching Jack Fury, and does not look
happy about it.}
[Swayze]: He lose his program or something?
[Escobar]: Perhaps he's contemplating taking up Jack Fury's
open offer ...
[Swayze]: Maybe ... or maybe he's just here to make sure
nobody puts the moves on his new squeeze Brandie!
>>RING<<
{Gardner picks up Stefan, only to get a punch below the belt,
which segues into another side headlock.}
[Swayze]: You know, this might just be a magic formula ...
[Escobar]: What it *is* is highly illegal ...
{He drags Gardner to the ropes, and rakes his face across the top
rope, then kicks him for good measure. Gardner fights back with a
forearm smash, then scoops up Stefan for a bodyslam.}
[Escobar]: Gardner's had enough of this -- he powers Stefan
around to turn the tide!
{As Stefan gets back up, Gardner whips him into the corner;
Stefan staggers out, and Gardner lifts him up, pressing him twice
and slamming him to the mat.}
[Escobar]: Greg Gardner gives Stefan a taste of his own
brand of aerial tactics -- sending STEFAN into the air!
[Marone]: Not really a change -- Stefan's been in the air
most of this match ... he just never had help before ...
gee, y'know, that's Greg for you, always helpin' people
like that.
{Gardner closes in, and Stefan adopts a pleading pose for a
moment, then smacks Gardner with a low blow. He gets to his feet,
bounces off the ropes, and rams shoulderfirst into Gardner,
pushing him into Mulroney.}
[Escobar]: Quick and dirty advantage getter from Stefan, and
now-- {disgusted} oh, he MEANT that!
[Swayze]: What, can you read minds now?
{Brandie argues with Greg as Stefan rummages through his fencing
bag.}
[Escobar]: Stefan Schreiber seems focussed on making this
match even more of a mockery of fair play than his present
tactics ...
[Swayze]: Oh, right, like GARDNER'S so big on fair play ...
if he was, he'd pick on someone his own size!
[Marone]: I don't think that'd be fair to us. I'd get bored
watching him fight Big Poppa every week.
{As Gardner closes in, Stefan jumps up and dropkicks him in the
head; he then drops to the mat to lock Gardner in a grounded
side headlock. Stefan releases the hold, and rolls up Gardner in
a small package, but Brandy immediately notices his grip on
Greg's tights.}
[Marone]: I suppose for pay-per-views he could have
handicap matches with Mount Rushmore ...
[Escobar]: Brandie finally cueing in to Stefan's trickery,
and breaks the count.
[Swayze]: I wonder how much choco /Greg's/ forking over ...
[Escobar]: CHAD--
[Swayze]: WHAT? Hey, a man can speculate, can't he?
[Marone]: In front of everybody? There are KIDS watching,
you sicko!
{Gardner grabs Stefan in a side headlock and lifts him to his
feet, then pushes him into the ropes. When Stefan rebounds, Greg
catches him around the trunk with an arm, lifting him nearly over
his head before slamming him sidewalk style into the mat.}
[Escobar]: SKYYY-WALK SLAM from Greg Gardner -- and you can
feel the earth shake!
[Marone]: Whoa, nearly 2 ounces on the Marone scale!
[Escobar]: That's Richter -- and, uh, how do you measure
that in /weight/?
[Marone]: No, the Marone scale -- that's how much beer
spilled outta my glass from the vibes! That was one BIG
slam, I'm tellin' ya ...
{As Stefan staggers back to his feet, Gardner lifts him from
behind, and atomic drops him. Greg pulls Stefan back to his feet,
and (not surprisingly) takes another shot below the belt; Stefan
tries to throw Greg through the ropes, but Greg grabs him by the
waist and swings him horizontal to drop him backfirst on a knee.}
[Escobar]: The War Machine uses a pendulum backbreaker
reverse to keep the advantage ...
[Swayze]: There he goes, using that loaded KNEE again! It's
DISGUSTING what she's letting him get away with!
[Escobar]: Loaded knee?? What--he's not even wearing a pad!
[Swayze]: Justin, EVERYTHING about him is loaded tonight!
You should have seen him in the parking lot with those
tailgaters earlier ... was he EVER puttin 'em away ... this
man is W-U-I!
[Escobar]: I don't believe I'm hearing this ...
{Schreiber manages to recover his senses quick enough to catch
Gardner with a hammerlock from behind. He brings Gardner to his
knees, then clocks him with a metal object.}
[Escobar]: And now we see what Schreiber was up to with his
duffle bag! Brandie Mulroney seems to have missed that--
what *is* that?
[Marone]: It's a bellguard. From fencing.
[Swayze]: Since when were you so educated?
[Marone]: Since I bought a fencing guide and Berlitz French
just to understand Stefan's interviews.
[Escobar]: I should have thought of that.
{Schreiber takes a short bounce off the ropes to splash Greg, and
leans up for a pin. As the referee begins her count, Stefan puts
his feet up on the ropes ... 1 ... 2 ...}
[Escobar]: Mulroney once more takes note of Stefan's use of
illegal leverage, and she taps him off ...
[Swayze]: Illegal? Here we go again, ignoring the size
differential -- you lay flat on Gardner's chest, and you're
ON the second rope!
[Escobar]: That's NOT ... oh, forget it.
{Gardner rolls over and hits Stefan in the face with a forearm;
standing up, he whips Stefan into the ropes, and catches him on
the rebound with a kneelift. He steps behind Stefan, lifts him up
to shoulder height as for an atomic drop, and then spins him to
the other shoulder while dropping him to the mat in a powerbomb.}
[Escobar]: Gardner has Stefan stunned for the moment -- and
there's THE ATOMIC BOMB!!!
{He locks his legs over for a pin: 1 ... 2 ... 3!}
[Rod Allen]
{stepping into the ring} The winner of this match, in a time of
six minutes and five seconds ... the "WAR MACHINE", GREG GARDNER!
{The crowd erupts into cheers again as Greg stands up, hand
lifted by the referee.}
[Escobar]: And the fans are going absolutely crazy -- wait,
this isn't good -- I think GREG's going absolutely crazy!
>>RINGSIDE<<
{Jack Fury shakes his head in disgust and starts walking away;
Gardner slides out of the ring and runs after him. Jack turns
around in time to defend himself, and the two begin punching it
out in the aisle.}
[Escobar]: Gardner's lost it -- he's going postal on Fury
right now, but the smaller man is firing back just as
much ... we have to get the -- OH NO!
{Schreiber, having recovered in the ring, torpedos Gardner in
the back with a knee ... he then joins Fury in stomping on
Gardner ...}
[Escobar]: This is to be expected from what we've seen
of Schreiber, but it's just TERRIBLE--
[Swayze]: Gardner's learning a valuable lesson here,
Justino -- take your lumps like a man! Jack didn't
start this tonight, and it's not HIS fault Greg's a
lush!
[Escobar]: Oh for -- and here comes Steve the Insane! Steve
pulling Fury off, and takes a few blows at Stefan ... and
he's got Gardner out of there now, as the ring personnel
finally take control ... folks, this situation has
absolutely exploded, and we have GOT to go to commercial!
=================================================================
COMING UP: Doug and Weasle go looking for Looking For a Fight
COMMERCIALS: The Avengers: Saving the World -- In Style! ...
Kill athlete's foot with tough-actin' Tinactin ... ZIMA -- just a
few degrees cooler.
=================================================================
>>BOOTH<<
[Escobar]: We have Chad Duncan in the locker rooms, with some
comments from our next competitors ... Chad?
=================================================================
{Chad is holding a microphone near Steve the Insane and Joe
Walker, who for some reason are both wearing baseball jerseys
over their usual wrestling attire -- Steve's from the New York
Mets, and Joe's from the Colorado Rockies.}
[Chad Duncan]
I'm glad you two could spare this time with us, Joe, Steve ...
... of course, I didn't know this wasn't going to be your first
appearance tonight -- could you tell us the reasons behind your
getting involved between Jack Fury and the War Machine, Steve?
[Steve the Insane]
Even though I've been in the AWI for awhile now, Jack Fury and I
never really hung out much. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but
we just sorta kept to our own groups of friends. Greg Gardner,
though ... Greg and I are buds. He teamed with me when I needed a
little help against Big Poppa and this man here {points to Joe}.
I've known Greg for awhile, and I'm glad he's on my side. Jack, I
don't want any trouble with you -- and to be honest, you don't
want any trouble with me. All you have to do is sign the contract,
and I'm sure Greg Gardner will give you all the trouble one man
can ask for.
[Chad]
And so you were out tonight because ...?
[Steve]
Well, it's simple Chad ... there's a lot of people here lately
who like to play with some pretty dangerous toys. Now, I like to
play too, but some of these guys have to learn ... if you're
going to bring out something like, say, a baseball bat, you'd
better be pretty damn good at it, 'cause sooner or later someone
else is going to come out with a blunt object of their own. Jack
Fury is one guy who has to learn this. Weasle ... what a weird
kid ... is another one.
[Joe Walker]
{leaning into the mike} You know, I used to be a pretty messed up
kind of guy, and I've settled more than one score with a big hunk
of metal ... but I have to say, Weasle, I'd typically stop short
of developing a deep, personal relationship with it {smirking}.
Make no mistake -- I may have put the old SLAMMO! knucks on the
shelf ... but as both of you two know personally, I can bounce
a brick off some pinhead's skull as well as I ever did! You want
to play with toys, you'd best beware -- because when you play
with THESE boys, you might have to share!
[Steve]
By the way, Doug, Weasle ... I remember that whole incident with
the gas can. I admit, I shouldn't have been trying to burn down
the ring ... but you guys hit me. I can't just let that go.
[Joe]
And speaking of them who won't let go ... there's this team out
there called Perfection? I think they're looking for a new name.
How about "Brain Damage"? I mean, we run you through the ringer
once already, and you ASK for another go? You want to see what we
do best, huh? You GOT it, boys -- but you damn well better
remember you ASKED for it, because the kick in the rear you got
coming is no deposit, no return!
[Steve]
Kim, Jill -- boy, doesn't anyone around here have a normal name
anymore? I'm not gonna yell, or scream, or even threaten you over
that whole Angela thing. I could very easily mind you, but I'm
not. {to Joe} See, I'm staying calm. {to mic} She's smart enough
to know when you two are full of it, but she still wasn't happy
with those comments. Oh /BOY/ was she not happy. She's unhappy,
I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy -- you're going to be /VERY/ unhappy.
=================================================================
>>RING<<
[Escobar]: Ominous words from the Insane One -- Perfection
is treading on dangerous ground here, considering the
lengths Steve took with the *last* person to disparage the
relationship between him and Angela ...
[Swayze]: So, what you're saying is, we're gonna need fire
insurance down here, right?
[Marone]: Or weiners to roast.
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen ... our next bout is set for one fall, with
a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, weighing in at
a combined total of four-hundred and thirty-seven pounds ... from
Monument Valley, Arizona -- "Mr. Excitement" Doug Abercrombie ...
and {reads the card and sighs} playing centerfield ... number 21
-- Weasle!
[PA]: {Dan Patrick's Voice} Welcome, to the big show ...
{The ESPN "Jock Jam" mix comes on over the PA and Doug as Weasle
appear at the entryway. Doug is wearing red wrestling pants with
the word "Excitement" written down one leg, black boots and
sunglasses. Weasle is wearing a black baseball uniform, black
pants, black jersey with the name Weasle centered on the back
over the number 21, and "Sandsharks" written on the front. He
also has on black Nike crosstraining shoes and a black baseball
cap with a gold "S" on the front. Weasle is carrying Louie, his
baseball bat, and Doug is also carrying what appears to be a
ballbat with a bag over the barrel end.}
[PA]: {Dick Vitale} It's awesome baby!
{Doug and Weasle make their way down towards the ring as Weasle
pulls out a pair of batting gloves and puts them on as they
walk.}
[PA]: {Keith Olbermann} They're not, gonna, get him!
{Doug and Weasle get in the ring as the music is coming to an end
and Weasle goes and gets the mic from Kinsman as Doug hops up on
the turnbuckle and does a backflip into the ring.}
[PA]: {Dan Patrick} Simply, en fuego.
[Doug Abercrombie]
{taking the microphone from Weasle} Hey, Weasle -- you know it's
really too bad that Jade Tiger had to go and enter the Witness
Protection Program. I wonder if we can still collect on that
money he promised for ridding the world of Steve the Lame-brain.
Hey, do you suppose Angela will be here? She wants me, you know.
[Weasle]
She does?
[Escobar]: Oh, Lord, here we go again.
[Abercrombie]
Oh, sure. Why else would she talk Steve the No-Game and
Crossdressing Makeupwearing Joe ... oh, excuse me, he doesn't go
by that name any more. Steve and Joe Walk-on. Hey Weasle, you
remember when Joe was cool?
[Weasle]
{thinks for a second} No ...
[Swayze]: Makes sense -- Joe was *never* cool. If he was,
he'd be part of Robbie's crew.
[Abercrombie]
Sure, you know, before he changed his name to Walk-on and started
being the fifth wheel in the Angela/Steve equation ...
[Weasle]
Fifth wheel? I don't get it ... there are only three of them ...
[Abercrombie]
Well, I was counting Steve, Angela and Angela's two friends ...
Did you get a look at those?
[Weasle]
Oh, yeah ... those are pretty cool ...
[Escobar]: I think those kinds of comments are uncalled
for ...
[Swayze]: Oh, come on, Escobo, they're COMPLIMENTING her ...
you're mad when they're mean, now you're mad when they're
nice?
[Abercrombie]
So anyways, back before he palled up with Steve, back when he was
TapDancing StreetSweeping Joe remember he had all those cool
brass knuckles and stuff?
[Weasle]
Oh yeah ... TrailWalking, GranolaEating Joe and his brass
knuckles Knuckles ... Hey Louie ... do you know Knuckles? No? Oh,
well ...
[Abercrombie]
Well, with that in mind, I checked around and dude, I got a
present for you.
[Weasle]
REALLY?!?! What is it??? Gimme!!!
{Doug pulls the bat from the bag and shows it to the camera. It
is a red metal baseball bat with the word SLAMMO (tm) written on
the barrel. He hands it to Weasle.}
[Swayze]: WOW! Who needs to add insult to injury when it all
comes in one package?
[Abercrombie]
There you go, my man ... a brand new, titanium cased, cork
filled, Slammo Brand Baseball bat. Illegal on the diamond, but
just right for knocking a triple out of what used to be Steve the
Inane!
{Weasle takes a couple of practice swings with the new bat as
Doug tosses the mic back to Allen.}
[Escobar]: This ... is going to get ugly.
[Allen]
Uh, yes ... their challengers tonight, weighing in at a combined
total of five-hundred and fifty-one pounds ... from Denver,
Colorado, Joe Walker ... and from the Isle of Yap, Steve the
Insane ... they are LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!!!
{The PA cues up an organ version of "Take Me Out to the
Ballgame" ... a few moments later, Joe Walker appears at the
aisle entrance, carrying a shoulderslung tray full of Coors cans.
He passes out cans to random fans.}
[Escobar]: I ... I'm not sure I want to know what this is
about.
[Marone]: I guess they're just getting into the spirit of
things ... man, this reminds me of when my old man used to
take me to see the Twins ... man, that was something
special. Hey, wow, full menu!
{The camera cuts to the opposite aisle, where Steve is similarly
equipped, handing out bags of peanuts. Steve and Joe make their
way in this fashion down to the ring; Steve ends up by the
announcer's table.}
[Steve]
Here, Mike -- enjoy the game!
[Marone]
Hey, cool -- peanuts!
[Swayze]
{muttering} And here we've been paying him *money* ...
{Steve walks back to the ring as Joe finally reaches the opposite
side.}
[Marone]: {mouth audibly full of peanuts} Honey roasted ...
man, I like those guys. Can we have them on every night?
[Steve]
{yelling} HEY, BEERMAN!!!
{Joe perks up, hefts a can, and tosses it in a high, soaring arc
over the ring to Steve, who catches it and pops it open with a
"thumbs up" gesture; Joe quickly grabs another can and whips it
directly into the ring, hitting Weasle (who had been watching
the trajectory of the first can) in the back of the head. Steve
tosses his can at Doug, who manages to duck it, as Joe charges
into the ring.}
[Swayze]: Yeah, right, SO nice those guys -- THIS WAS A
SETUP!!!
[Escobar]: I hate to admit it, but ... it appears you're
right -- Joe and Steve have turned this unconventional show
into an unconventional attack ...
[Swayze]: Don't hold back, Justino! Let's hear that rage
you keep throwing at MY buddies!
{Weasle woozily takes a few steps towards his corner, then
changes his mind and charges Joe, managing to take him down with
a shoulder block.}
[Marone]: {tsking} Joe should have been expecting that.
Batters ALWAYS charge the mound when they get beaned.
[Swayze]: What a surprise -- Mike here can play translator
for Weasle's idiom.
{Doug heads for his corner, while Joe gets nailed with a low blow
after being rolled in the ring. The ref warns Weasle.}
[Weasle]
Hey! It was obviously a strike!
{Weasle starts kicking at the mat, but there's no dust to end up
on the ref ... so he whips Joe into a neutral corner, then charges
in with a slide kick to the leg. He follows this with another shot
below the belt, then stands and scoops up Joe for a bodyslam. He
steps away from Joe in an exaggerated "leadoff", then dives in with
a fist drop.}
[Marone]: Aw, man! He avoided the pickoff!
[Escobar]: WHAT pi-- no, I won't ask.
[Swayze]: Good idea.
{He gets Joe back to his feet, and whips him into the ropes for a
clothesline. Weasle closes in as Joe's returning to his feet, but
Joe bodyslams him. He lets Weasle stand up, and connects with a
karate punch, then spins into a back fist; while Weasle is dazed,
Joe grabs his arm and throws a shortarm punch.}
[Escobar]: Joe Walker unleashing a brutal brawling flurry on
the Weasle ...
[Marone]: Which just goes to show, you don't a mule to a
horse race ... or bring a baseball bat to a wrestling
match ... except, of course, when it's a titanium-coated
gel-corked job like that Slammo ... then I suppose you
could really do some damage.
{He pulls the arm down for a pumphandle slam, but gets blocked by
a headbutt from Weasle. Joe is only momentarily slowed, however,
and returns with a crescent kick that flattens Weasle.}
[Escobar]: BIG kick sends Weasle down on the mat -- and
THERE'S THE TAG!
{Steve and Joe hit Weasle with a tandem back-elbow off the
ropes.}
[Escobar]: Surprising synchronization from this pareja ...
[Swayze]: Yeah, like, they're as surprised as you are.
{Joe leaves the ring, as Steve scoops up Weasle for a bodyslam.
Steve drags Weasle up and whips him into the ropes, to delivers a
backdrop.}
[Escobar]: Steve tags Joe back in ...
{Steve whips Weasle into the ropes; Joe and Steve rush to the
opposite side, and hit Weasle on the return with a double jumping
high kick.}
[Escobar]: ... and make MAJOR motion with a twin float kick!
These two definitely seem to be polishing their teamwork
with every match!
[Swayze]: What you're seeing here, Justino, is pure, rampant
jealousy. They want to be Perfection. They NEED to be
Perfection.
[Marone]: They ARE Perfection.
[Swayze]: No, they're not!
[Marone]: They aren't ... yeah, they're not, those other two
guys are ... sheesh, why'd you make such a dumb point, then?
{Joe drags Weasle up by an arm, and uses it to throw another
shortarm punch.}
[Swayze]: Anyway, it's not gonna happen, baby -- they're just
a pale imitation of the original, and the world's gonna see
it when they next meet!
{Joe locks on a shoulder-claw/armbar combination, but he's too
close to the ropes -- Weasle grabs them.}
[Weasle]
FOUL BALL! FOUL BALL!
{The referee calls for a break. Unperturbed, Joe launches Weasle
to the ropes and drops him with a front kick. He pulls him up and
sends him to the ropes again, but Weasle takes out Joe's legs
with a slide kick.}
[Weasle]
Safe at second! {He stands up and makes the arm-sweep,
'incidentally' clocking Joe in the crotch again.}
[Escobar]: That's-- I can't believe Brandie is letting him
get away with this.
[Marone]: But he was safe ...
[Swayze]: Hey, as long as Weasle stays away from *Steve's*
mojo maker, she obviously doesn't mind.
[Escobar]: We are NOT going into that.
{Weasle whips Joe into the turnbuckle, then chokes him away from
the ref's view.}
[Weasle]
This is a pitcher/catcher conference -- stay clear! {He shuffles
around to keep the referee from view.}
{Joe pushes him away, and Weasle hits him with a forearm; Joe
grabs him by the waist and delivers an inverted atomic drop, then
knocks him down with a savate kick while he's stunned.}
[Escobar]: OLA! Joe with a shattering combination, that
leaves him in the clear -- and he tags in Steve!
{Steve and Joe whip Weasle into the turnbuckle, and Steve follows
it in with a clothesline as Joe steps out of the ring. Steve then
introduces Weasle's face to the buckle personally a couple of
times; Weasle manages to interrupt this barrage with a legsweep.
He knocks Steve further into the ring with an axehandle.}
[Escobar]: Weasle finally manages to get clear of Steve's
intense offensive-- what's this?
{Doug directs Brandie's attention to Joe, and then tosses Louie
into the ring when she's looking away. Weasle clocks Steve in the
back with the bat, and tosses it out of the ring, then runs
around the posts, sliding into Steve with a shoulder block.}
[Swayze]: Inside the park home run! Man, this team gives you
everything!
[Marone]: Not everything -- *they* didn't give me peanuts.
{Left without any more baseball jokes, Weasle slows things down
with a side headlock.}
[Escobar]: I don't think this is a laughing matter -- Steve
could be seriously hurt here!
[Swayze]: I know -- this is really dramatic ... can you
imagine poor Angela Dante, sitting at home, watching her man
get the two brain cells he's got left pounded out of him ...
and thinking to herself ... "Wow, that Doug Abercrombie!
What a man! Now, THAT'S excitement!"
[Escobar]: Do you have ANY shame?
[Swayze]: Yeah, bay-bee, but I left it in my other jacket.
{Steve gets to his feet, and manages to break the hold, but gets
a kneelift for his struggles. Weasle makes the tag to Doug, and
whips Steve into the ropes, where Doug meets him with a
handspring back elbow. Doug shoves him into the ropes as he
returns to his feet, for a reverse rollup: 1 ... 2 ... Steve
punches his way free.}
[Swayze]: Doug, my man, you've got to play it SMARTER ...
use the ropes, grab some jersey, nail him to the floor ...
the way this match is going, there's no way you'd get
CAUGHT ...
{Doug picks up Steve and whips him into the ropes, hitting him
with a dropkick on the return; he follows this with a rolling
elbow drop, then picks up Steve and whips him to the ropes again.
He backs up to the ropes as Steve rebounds, so as to back drop
him over the top and out of the ring.}
[Escobar]: Doug Abercrombie deliberately sends Steve the
Insane bowling down to the outside!
{Doug rushes to the opposite ropes, handsprings his way across
the ring on the rebound, and jumps over the top to take down
Steve with a bodypress.}
[Escobar]: Doug takes a running start ... a handspring --
PLANCHA SUICIDA!!! Steve the Insane looks *exhausted* by
this punishment!
[Marone]: He should be. I'm exhausted WATCHING him get
punished. I need a sub ... hey, how about you?
[Escobar]: What -- what are you doing?
>>BOOTH<<
{Mike's climbed into the seat behind him, and a wiry young man,
maybe 19-20, has switched places with him.}
[Kid]
This is so cool! Hey, Mom, Pops--I'm on TV! WAHOOOO!!
[Escobar]
And ... you are ...
[Swayze]
Probably better than Mike, just on principle.
[Kid]
BOB! Bob Morris! AWRIGHT! Hey, man, Steve's about to get hit
again!
>>RING<<
{Doug jumps onto the safety railing and runs along it for a few
steps, then leaps off to attempt a rana -- but Steve catches him
in mid-air, and falls backwards to drop him facefirst into the
ringside steps with a stungun.}
[Escobar]: Doug quick to capitalize, with a-- CASTIGO!
{Chad and Bob can both be heard making noises of
sympathetic pain.}
[Escobar]: Steve puts the Frontal Lobotomy on him, and this
could be ALL over!
[Morris]: Man I hope my VCR is working! That was AWESOME!
{Steve slowly gets Doug back into the ring, and whips him into
the ropes, but gets hit with a clothesline from Doug.}
[Escobar]: INCREDIBLE!!! I wouldn't have thought
Abercrombie had ANYTHING left after that smashing
Lobotomy ...
[Morris]: I thought he was DEAD ...
{The two stagger back to their feet; Doug hits Steve with a
dropkick, but Steve keeps his feet.}
[Escobar]: ... and Steve matches him for endurance! These
two are running on empty, but they won't stop!
[Morris]: What? Oh, right--OK, thanks! WAHOO!
[Marone]: I'm back ... whoa, guess Steve and Doug didn't
make much of that break-time ...
[Swayze]: They didn't TAKE a break ...
{Doug gets back up, rushes into the ropes, and manages to cut
down Steve with a running dropkick. He climbs up the turnbuckles,
and lets Steve stand up, then jumps off with a shooting star
dropkick.}
[Escobar]: Doug takes off -- AND CONNECTS!!! Abercrombie
with his trademark finish, and he's not going to waste the
opportunity ... ONE ... TWO -- JOE MAKES THE SAVE!!!
{Doug makes a cover: 1 ... 2 ... Joe charges into the ring and
stomps him off; Weasle also charges the ring, and knocks away Joe
with a shoulder block. Joe and Weasle roll into the corner,
trading punches; Steve grabs Doug and rolls him into a small
package.}
[Escobar]: Steve has Doug pinned! Brandie makes the count --
UNO! DOS! TREY!!!
{Steve quickly releases Doug and gets to his feet, helping Joe
break out of the brawl with Weasle. The two hop out of the ring
to take a breather, as Rod Allen enters.}
[Rod Allen]
The winners of this match ... LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!!!
=================================================================
{The screen cuts to an image of a pair of crash-test dummies
fitted with tights in a mock-wrestling ring; they are driven
together by motorized pistons, colliding in the center of the
ring with a CGI explosion that fades to reveal the "GM" logo in
the background, with the words "General Motors CRASH TEST!"
superimposed over it ... it then splits apart, opening like doors
to show slow motion footage of:}
[Escobar]: And here we see tonight's General Motors Crash
Test, as Doug Abercrombie starts to live up to his name
of "Mr. Excitement" with this death-defying suicidal
handspring bodypress ...
{The footage switches to show Doug leaping off for the rana, only
to get caught and stungunned by Steve.}
[Escobar]: ... but Steve the Insane shows he can match
excitement for excitement with this brutal variation on
his signature Frontal Lobotomy ...
That's crushing! That's impact! That's the General Motors
CRASH TEST for this week ... and the kind folks at
General Motors would like to remind everyone that
seatbelts save lives, so buckle up! Let's take a break
for these messages ...
=================================================================
COMING UP: Robbie Stevens earns some Justice!
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=================================================================
{"Gett Off" by Prince and the NPG keys up, and "The Awesome One"
Kerry Masters makes his way to ringside. He seems considerably
more solemn than usual, though he still forces a smile out and
slaps hands with fans. When he makes it to ringside, he does a
double-bicep while sparklers spelling out "Awesome" with a
superimposed "1" go off behind him. he then grabs a microphone.}
[Kerry Masters]
You know -- every week I come out here ... and The Awesome One
goes on ... and on ... and on ... and sometimes on and on some
more ... about how great I am ... or the embarrassment I'm
going to do to someone ... or whatever. Well ... this week ...
I think /Kerry Masters/ has something to say.
Tonight, I get my first match against a World Champion. For a
26 year old, that's been in this business four years -- that's a
lot. And, despite what I often say, I know I didn't get here
alone. So, very quickly, I just wanted to thank you people, as
well as "those people" in the back, that have been behind me.
Whether you were cheering me, or booing me, you've always been
behind me. And for that, I thank you.
{Not surprisingly, the crowd cheers hard for this.}
Soooo ... now that that's out of the way ... The Awesome One
has a lot on his mind! Or, specifically, two people: Rick
Greenspear -- and Ken Mischief!
You first Rich. You come out here last week, and go on and on
about how I owe you ... and I have something to prove ... and I
need to show why I'm this and that ... and whine-whine this and
whine-whine that. Rich -- you don't seem to think I'm a good guy.
Well ... Kerry Masters is many things.
I'm "The Man The People Paid To See".
I'm "The Man We ALL Know and Love".
I'm "The Ratings Stalagmite".
I'm "The True Trend Setter and Fine Girl Getter".
I'm "The Awesome One".
And I'm ... say it with me ...
{crowd says it with him} THE EPITOME OF WHAT EVERYONE WANTS
TO BE!!!!!
Now, in all of that, you'll notice that there are two words
missing -- two words that are operative to your argument: "Good
Guy". I'm not all that good of a guy. Not as compared to Justice
... or Danny Boy ... or War Machine ... or even you. Maybe as
compared to Ed Carr or Jerry Straite ... and I know /I'D/ never
bring out a flamethrower to burn someone to death {cough}
StevetheInsane {cough} ... but, I'd never claim to be a good guy.
Am I "bad"? No. If I were bad, you'd have a chair wrapped around
your head for bothering me. I try to do what's right, and I try
to be a role-model ... sometimes. Okay, sporadically. But Rich,
don't think I'm ever going to be like you. It's not happening. As
long as I'm more like you than I am like Robbie Stevens or Ken
Mischief, then I'm fine.
And speaking of Mr. Mischief {looks at his watch} looks like your
final hour is on its way. What are you going to do? I know you
have the skills. I know you have what it takes. The fact that you
have the belt proves that. Can you step up to the level of The
Epitome Of What Everyone wants To Be? We'll find that out
tonight.
{"Gett Off" keys back up, as TAOKM leaves, this time with
normal flirtation and other fan interaction...}
[Escobar]: Strong words from Kerry Masters, and some
surprisingly heartfelt ones.
[Swayze]: You're listening to a man trying to to buy his way
into Heaven -- his days are numbered, and he knows it! If
Mischief doesn't snap him like a twig this week, our man
Tank will do it next week!
{Rod Allen steps into the ring as Kerry departs.}
[Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, the next bout of the night is a A-W-I
TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP match, set for one fall ... introducing
first, from the badlands of Grand Fork, North Dakota ... weighing
in at two hundred and seventy pounds ... this is the MAN ...
CALLED ... JUSTICE!!!
{"It's a Mad, Mad World" by Tom Cochrane fills the air, but is
competed heavily for eartime by the crowd's cheers, as Justice
makes his way down the aisle to the ring.}
[Allen]
And his opponent tonight ... from the city of East Rutherford,
New Jersey ... he weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds,
and is currently the Television Champion of the A-W-I ...
ROBBIIIEEE STEEEVENS!!!
{The crowd *quickly* turns into a chorus of LOUD boos, as Robbie
struts down to the ring, showing off the TV belt to anyone who'll
look at him.}
[Allen]
Your referee for this match will be Curtis Keyes.
{The bell rings, and Justice punches Robbie; Robbie tries to rake
him across the eyes, but he blocks and hits Robbie with another
pair of punches. Robbie tries to break up his momentum with a
kick, but Justice throws a body blow, then whips him to the
ropes, and clotheslines him on the return.}
[Escobar]: Justice getting off to a POWERFUL start
-- look at him go to town!
[Swayze]: He may START by going to town, Justino, but
he's ending this match buying the farm!
{Robbie rolls out of the ring, Justice follows him; Robbie rolls
back in and stomps Justice as he returns to the ring.}
[Swayze]: And so the world turns, bay-bee!
>>BOOTH<<
{We see Ed Carr walking to the table.}
[Carr]
Heya guys. I figured since I helped arrange this little party I
at least should be allowed a good view of the action.
>>RING<<
{Robbie rushes into the ropes as Justice stands, and knocks him
down with a dropkick. He then puts on a front facelock.}
[Carr]: I guess now Robbie's been taking notes from Bonham.
{to himself} Don't believe I let him out of that hold.
[Swayze]: Yeah ... Robbie knows how to play Justice like a
piano!
{Robbie drags Justice up, Justice reverses the facelock and
spins it into a neckbreaker.}
[Marone]: I think his piano is out of tune
{As both men return to their feet, Justice hiptosses Robbie; he
tries it again as Robbie stands up, but Robbie legsweeps him.
Justice applies a drop toehold from the floor, and then darts
up to slap on a hammerlock.}
[Escobar]: Neither Justice and Robbie seems able to keep
a firm lock on the momentum ...
[Carr]: If you want to win you have to stay focused.
Usually Justice is fairly good at that ... Robbie of course
is a lost cause.
[Swayze]: "Lost cause" for boosting your credit, you mean!
{Robbie breaks out of the hold; Justice drags him up, and
hiptosses him down. He drops to a knee to grab Robbie, but
Stevens punches him away, then moves around to slip on a half
nelson. He pulls himself to his feet, and then converts the hold
to a cobra clutch.}
[Swayze]: Ring the bell! This match is over!
[Escobar]: Don't you think you're counting your chickens
before they're hatched?
[Marone]: Chicken?
[Carr]: That's the problem with Stevens -- people assume
he's a putz. He is, but unfortunately he's a putz that can
wrestle. I should know, I trained him.
[Swayze]: Yeah, and lucky for him, he managed to UNlearn
what little you taught him. For example, when Robbie uses
that secret ninja deathgrip on you, it's all--HE'S OUT?!?
{Justice breaks out, and Robbie sweeps out his legs, then stomps
on him; he picks up a leg, but Justice kicks him away, and gets
back to his feet. Robbie punches him, pulls him into a front
facelock, turns him around away from the ropes and drops it into
a DDT.}
[Escobar]: Robbie Stevens connects with the BIG offensive
option! He makes a cover -- but NO COUNT!
{Robbie sits up and punches Justice on the mat, then rolls him
up into a small package -- with a firm grip on his tights: 1 ...
2 ...}
[Carr]: C'MON REF, HE'S GOT THE TRUNKS!
{Coincidentally, Keyes notes the tights, and forces a break.}
[Swayze]: WHAT? HEY, why'd he stop the count?!?
[Escobar]: Apparently, there's a small question of illegal
leverage--
[Swayze]: He's deluded! Hallucinating! Get this bozo out
of the ring, and put someone who can trust his sense in!
[Marone]: Actually, I saw it, too ...
[Swayze]: Oh, no -- MASS HYSTERIA!
{Both men stand up, and Justice bodyslams Robbie; as Stevens
returns to his feet, Justice throws him into the ropes. Robbie
rebounds off and surprises Justice with a dropkick.}
[Escobar]: Justice restoring his command of this match
... he may be winding up for another clothe-- ROBBIE
TAKES HIM DOWN!!
[Swayze]: Fool him once, shame on him, fool him twice--
not gonna happen!
{Justice manages to reach his feet first, and Robbie attempts to
sweep them out from under him, but Justice hops the kick and then
stomps on Robbie. He pulls Robbie to his feet and bodyslams him
again, then drags him back up and sends him to the ropes once
more. He rushes to the opposite ropes, and rebounds with a
clothesline that sends Robbie spinning 360.}
[Escobar]: OLA!!! Justice almost DECAPITATES Robbie
Stevens with that clothesline ...
[Marone]: Guess he fooled him twice.
[Swayze]: That's it! Disqualify him! Book 'em for
attempted murder!
[Carr]: That would be a mercy killing.
[Swayze]: What?!? For who?
[Carr]: 'Cause then nobody would have to listen to Robbie
talk anymore.
{Robbie apparently begs for mercy in the ring as Justice closes,
but quickly changes tactics to poke Justice in the eyes, then
kicks him in the chest. He whips Justice into the ropes, rebounds
off the opposite side, and leaps for a Lou Thesz press.}
[Escobar]: Robbie knocks down Justice, and may get a pin
out of it! One! Two-- nada, Justice is up!
{Justice grabs Robbie with a side headlock. He pulls Robbie to
his feet, then hoists him onto his shoulders and drops him into a
fallaway slam.}
[Escobar]: Justice comes back twice as strong! And now he
takes Robbie up for the long fall!
{Standing up, he stomps Robbie in the chest, then pulls him to
his feet, whipping him into the ropes. As Robbie rebounds, Justice
wraps him up in a sleeper.}
[Marone]: Hey, cool! That's a ... uh ... Justna deathgrip!
[Escobar]: {soto voce} Mike, it's probably best not to
follow Chad's lead ...
[Carr]: The sleeper is a vastly underrated hold, and with
someone as strong as Justice it's even more dangerous.
Besides, it's not like Robbie is getting a ton of oxygen to
the brain as it is.
{Robbie reaches the ropes, and the referee calls break. Justice
hoists up Robbie for another fallaway slam, but as he's lifted
up, Robbie's foot hits the referee in the head.}
[Escobar]: Another crushing slam from Justice-- oh, no!
Curtis Keyes is down!
[Carr]: {under his breath} Robbie always was good at that in
class.
{Justice finishes the fallaway slam, and makes a cover -- but
obviously, there's no count.}
[Swayze]: Some "hero", huh -- he's trying to get Robbie
disqualified, by MAKING him kick the referee! Cheap!
{Justice figures this out and checks on the referee, as Robbie
pulls a chain from his trunks.}
[Escobar]: Somehow, I don't think Robbie's the one being
victimize here ... oh, no!
[Carr]: Anyone who didn't see this coming raise their hand.
{pauses} That's what I thought.
{He hits Justice from behind before the referee recovers.}
[Escobar]: Robbie Stevens backstabs Justice with some
kind of fistload -- this is abominable!
[Marone]: Yeah! And it's cheating, too!
[Carr]: Oh, he's dumber than he looks if he thinks he's
gettin away with that with me around. {We hear the sound
of equipment being shuffled.}
{Robbie stands him back up, starting a flurry of meaningless
"martial arts" gestures.}
[Escobar]: Obviously, Robbie knows enough to capitalize
on this mockery of the rules while he can ... and
there's the Superkick!
{Robbie savate kicks Justice, and makes a cover, as Ed Carr
reaches ringside.}
[Swayze]: (*cough*) Wicked AWESOME Superkick ... look
at that, bay-bee, Justice is O-U-T ... one mississippi,
two mississippi, and Robbie keeps the belt!
[Escobar]: There's those chickens again -- Ed Carr is
talking to Curtis now, and seems to be trying to get
the match restarted ... Keyes heading over to Robbie
now, who's livid--and he's found the chain!
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen ... the winner of this match, in a time
of six minutes and nineteen seconds ... as a result of a
DISQUALIFICATION, is JUUUSTICE!!!
[Swayze]: WHAT?!? Robbie's been robbed! Justino, how could
you just sit here and LET Ed get away with that?
[Marone]: Hey, how come YOU let him get away with that?
Robbie's your bud, right?
[Swayze]: I-- HEY! Shut up! What if Tank hears you, man?
[Escobar]: Ed continuing to press for a restart--wait a
minute--
>>RINGSIDE<<
{The "Mariposa del Hierro" fan seen in the front row has jumped
the safety rail, with chair in hand -- and pounds Ed Carr with
it, ending what might have been a productive debate with Keyes
... he then scoops up Carr for a fireman's carry driver, and
unmasks.}
[Swayze] YEAH, bay-bee! We got a two-for-two!
[Escobar]: What's going ON here!
[Swayze]: Call it an appeal from the defense!
[Escobar]: That -- that was a San Fernando Valley Driver!
AND THAT'S COREY BONHAM!
[Swayze]: OK, so it was a Way Cool appeal ...
{Robbie and Corey pile out and head back, waving the belt at a
groggy but ticked-off Justice and Ed, who start off grimly after
them.}
[Escobar]: This could get ugly -- I think it's best if we go
to another commercial, and hopefully our security crew can
save a couple of lives ...
=================================================================
COMING UP: The MAIN EVENT!
COMMERCIALS: Coca-Cola -- always the real thing, always Coca-Cola
... A-1 Steak Sauce -- it's how steak is done ... Want to learn
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Journal ...
=================================================================
>>RINGSIDE<<
{Rod Allen is stepping inside the ring once more, now clear of
the Stevens fight.}
[Escobar]: This has been a chaotic night, folks, and even
so, we still have our MAIN EVENT coming up ...
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, our next bout is the Line of Fire MAIN
EVENT {swell of crowd noise at this} ... introducing first, from
the city of Orlando, Florida ... weighing in at two hundred and
twenty one pounds ... "THE AWESOME ONE" ... KEEERRRYYY MASTERS!!!
{The cheering fans are treated to a reprise of "Gett Off" by
Prince, as Kerry jogs down to the ringside, slapping hands on the
way and striking poses as he reaches the ring.}
[Rod Allen]
And his opponent tonight ... from the city of Calgary, Alberta in
Canada ... weighing in at two hundred and eighty-two pounds ...
he IS the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION of the AWI ... KEEEN
MISCHIEF!!!
{No theme music for Mischief, which makes plenty of room for all
the boos as he stomps down to the ring in his usual
verging-on-angry style.}
[Rod Allen]
Your referee for this match is Tom Newman.
{The bell rings, and Mischief hits Masters with a forearm, then
scoops him up for a bodyslam.}
[Escobar]: Ken Mischief showing NO mercy from the start!
[Swayze]: What do you expect? Kerry's been treating this
whole affair like it was a stepping stone for an eventual
title bout. When you're the CHAMPION, you're NO ONE'S
stepping stone -- that's what Team Stevens always says.
{He picks up Kerry, and attempts a bearhug, but Kerry dodges
around behind him, and locks on an armbar. He presses the hold
for a moment, then spins around to grab Ken's head, dropping him
into a single-arm DDT.}
[Escobar]: Elegant *and* high impact maneuver from Masters
-- and he's quick to capitalize ...
[Marone]: So, um, where exactly is Kerry stepping to,
then, if it's not a title shot?
[Escobar]: Wait--oh no ...
>>AISLE<<
{Tank Bradley is coming down the aisle, followed by the various
members of Team Stevens--Robbie, Joey, Corey, and even Tori ...
they seem to be conferring amongst themselves ...}
[Escobar]: What are THEY doing here?
[Swayze]: Just doing a little scouting, Justino ... just
doing a little scouting ...
[Marone]: Could they scout a little less conspicuously?
Tank's scarin' kids in the third row.
>>RING<<
{Kerry stands up, and leaps into a somersault leg drop; as he
returns to his feet, he pulls Ken up with him, then bounces back
into the ropes, coming off with a leg lariat to knock Mischief
down. He locks a toehold on the mat.}
[Escobar]: Stepping stone or no, Mischief may very well have
met his match in "The Awesome One" ...
[Swayze]: Follow the chain here, Escobo -- Mischief beats
Gardner like a drum. Gardner whipped Masters like cream.
Conclusion: Masters is a Plush Pal compared to our World
Champion.
[Marone]: Yeah, but Masters also beat Gardner ... so he's
a Plush Pal with potential!
{Ken breaks out, and both men stand up; Kerry whips Ken into the
ropes, and dropkicks him on the return; he then relocks the
toehold.}
[Swayze]: Look at this, he's stuck in a rut! Robbie Stevens
would never let one of his cu-el dudes get this repetitive.
[Marone]: Unless it was with a crotch shot.
[Swayze]: Well, hey, there's a time and a place for
everything, Mike-elangelo.
{Kerry releases the hold, stands up, and drops an elbow on Ken;
Mischief manages to tag him with a punch from the floor as he's
getting back up, then gets to his feet and whips Kerry into the
turnbuckle. He charges in after, but Masters ducks aside, and
Ken hits the buckle himself; Kerry neatly dropkicks him over the
top rope.}
[Escobar]: WHOA! Kerry ready and willing to take this match
into no man's land!
{Kerry rushes to the opposite ropes, bounces off, and leaps over
the top rope, attempting a bodypress; Ken Mischief ducks, and
Kerry hits the floor.}
[Escobar]: PLANCHA SUICIDA-- AND KERRY HITS THE FLOOR!!!
[Swayze]: I guess no man's land is also no man's landing,
bay-bee!
{Ken Mischief grabs Kerry from the floor, and powerbombs him.}
[Escobar]: Modified POWERBOMB lands the Awesome One with
his back square to the concrete! This does NOT look good
for Kerry Masters!
[Swayze]: You know what didn't look good for Masters? His
name on the contract!
{Ken rolls Kerry into the ring, and whips him to the ropes; Kerry
surprises him with a rana, and sits up for a cover, but Ken
throws him off quickly.}
[Escobar]: Quick reversal by Kerry -- but no count! He may
not have gotten a pin there, but at least he's still got
fight in him ...
[Swayze]: Hey, that's cool ... Ken likes to have fun, too.
[Marone]: I dunno, Justin ... Kerry still looks hurt
pretty bad ... maybe it was just me, but concrete always
kinda ... you know ... hurt.
{Undaunted, he twists Ken into an armbar; Ken escapes, and Kerry
switches to a side headlock. The two get back to their feet in
this position; Kerry drops the hold and whips Ken to the ropes,
only to get cut down by a clothesline as Ken rebounds.}
[Escobar]: Kerry picking up the pace-- NADA! Ken Mischief
cuts him down hard!
[Marone]: Yep ... Kerry's hurting. I'm surprised he can
keep fighting like this.
{Ken grabs Masters as he staggers up, but Masters pokes him in
the eyes, then knocks him down with a savate kick. Closing in,
he wraps Ken into a standing figure four.}
[Escobar]: The Awesome One may have Mischief on the ropes
now ...
[Swayze]: You know what? I think you're right!
[Escobar]: You -- you do?
[Swayze]: Yeah ... {yelling} TOM, HE'S ON THE ROPES! BREAK
THE HOLD!
{Justin sighs.}
{Ken manages to break out of the hold; Masters turns around and
jumps into a standing moonsault, but Ken rolls aside.}
[Escobar]: Kerry sets himself -- the EPITOME PRESS! But
there's NOBODY HOME!
{Ken picks up Masters, and snaps a belly to belly suplex on him.}
[Escobar]: Ken Mischief wastes no time in punishing Masters
for that miscalculation ...
{Mischief picks up Kerry, whips him into the ropes, and catches
him on the rebound to deliver a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.}
[Escobar]: ... and sends him right into the BIG TROUBLE!!!
Tom makes the count -- ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, in a time of
4:34 ... KEEEN MISCHIEF!!!
[Escobar]: Kerry fought hard in this one, but never
really seemed to recover from that crucial misstep outside
the ring ...
[Swayze]: Kerry learned his lesson tonight -- Ken Mischief
doesn't have to step up to *his* level, he has to make it to
KEN'S level. THAT'S what being champion MEANS. That's what
T--
[Escobar]: That's what Team Stevens says, yes, we know ...
[Marone]: I guess they REALLY want to say it, Justin,
because HERE THEY COME!
{Ken Mischief barely has time to roll away from the cover before
Corey, Robbie, and Tank slide into the ring, levelling stomps
on Kerry ... Corey and Tank lift him up, holding him for a Wicked
Awesome Super Kick, before Tank goes to work with a powerslam ...}
[Escobar]: This -- this is unspeakable! They -- where are
YOU going --
>> AISLE <<
{Swayze's left the booth, and currently seems to be directing
traffic, sending Tori to block the ring personnel from getting
to ringside ... the Matthews brothers run out from the back,
but are pointed out by Swayze, and Hasegawa handsprings back
down the aisle to take them out with the Booty Call ...}
[Escobar]: This isn't a brawl -- this is a fully
premeditated act of war! They're trying to put Kerry
Masters out of commission!
[Marone]: Ouch -- I think they're doing a pretty good job,
too ...
{Suddenly, Justice and "War Machine" Greg Gardner emerge from
the back ... Gardner plows into Hasegawa, and Justice shuts
up Swayze with a clothesline ...}
[Escobar]: Finally, some help arriving, but they're still
struggling to get to ringside ... I can't believe I'm
seeing this ...
>>RING<<
{Bradley hoists up Masters in the air, then takes a few steps
before launching Masters over the ropes to the mat below in a
vicious powerbomb ... the crowd goes absolutely CRAZY booing
and howling, and a group near the front row leans over the
railing and shouts, "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KERRY! YOU
BASTARDS!"}
[Escobar]: This can't be happening! Wait ... now Gardner
and Justice have reached the ring ... and here comes
Ed Carr ... Team Stevens scatters like the cockroaches
they are ...
[Marone]: Pretty mean cockroaches, man ... KERRY, YOU
ALL RIGHT? KERRRRYY!!!
[Escobar]: I don't think he can hear you from here,
Mike ...
[Marone]: You mean ... you mean he's ... OH, NO! NOT
KERRY! WHY, GOD, WHY?! HE WAS SO YOUNG! HE WASN'T IN
A GANG! HE -- hey, wait! He's still moving, Justin!
[Escobar]: I was going to say that, Mike ... Ed helping
Kerry up ... and he may need help, but I think Kerry's
going to walk out on his own two feet ...
{The fans go absolutely ballistic as Kerry staggers down the
aisle with Carr on one side and Justice on the other, as
Gardner still seems intent on chasing down Team Stevens
members ...}
[Escobar]: And we've got the strangest of bedfellows
here leaving the ring ... but I think that pales
compared to how Kerry can POSSIBLY be 100% for his
match WITH Tank Bradley, NEXT week!
[Marone]: Maybe I missed something, but I kinda
gathered that was the point ... y'know, Kerry has
no bones left to break, he doesn't do the flippy-kicky
things so well ...
[Escobar]: That's all the time we have for you tonight,
folks ... on behalf of the uninhibited Mike Marone,
and the unconscious Chad Swayze, this is Justin Escobar,
leaving you with these words from a man you may have
seen before, and whom you'll see again very soon in the
AWI ...
=================================================================
{Camera fades from black into a dimly lit gymnasium, accompanied
by a sound like wind blowing; we zoom in close on a set of rings
where a wiry Oriental man wearing a red and white gymnastics
uniform lifts himself into a pike position, holding for a few
seconds, then spreads his arms as he rolls backwards into a
somersault; as he's fully inverted, he quickly switches his grip,
crossing his arms to catch opposite rings and twisting around to
straighten himself.
[Voiceover]
{accented} Training ... conditioning ... dedication ...
all these qualities it requires to be a winner ... all
these qualities, I strive to achieve.
{He swings his body forward and upwards, releasing his left hand
as he moves to the top of his arc, so that he's supporting
himself straight above his right arm.}
[VO]
{slight accent} In my dreams, I fly ...
{The camera wipes with a "burning" effect to scenes of the man in
a wrestling ring, now wearing green "lantern pants" (a la Muta)
performing a dropkick, a hurricarana, a springboard bodypress,
and a moonsault on various wrestlers; this is followed with
scenes of him (now wearing a black pants with a green & gold
embroidered Asian dragon pattern) using an over-the-top-rope
'rana, a handspring elbow, and (missing) a springboard moonsault
to the outside.}
[VO]
... and though in the ring I may falter, I may suffer,
and may even fail ... I will fly again.
{The scene wipes to a shot of him leaping off the top turnbuckle
to hit a preliminary wrestler with a shooting star hurricarana;
the screen is then enveloped in computer-generated "flames" which
fade back to the gym, where the man releases his hand,
somersaulting back to the mat. He turns towards the camera view.}
[Man]
AWI -- "Dragonfire" Kien Lun is coming, and I promise you
action! Look close, fans and competitors, for win or lose,
you will be surprised!
=================================================================
This work copyright © 1998 by Allied Sports Enterprises. Allied
Wrestling International is a member of the Summit Wrestling
Alliance; permission is given to distribute or rebroadcast AWI
footage in cooperation with Summit Wrestling events.
"CBS Eye" is a registered trademark of Columbia Broadcasting
System, used without permission for purposes of parody; no actual
association between the writers and CBS should be inferred.
"Promotional" trademarks likewise used without permission or
affiliation for purposes of parody.
=================================================================
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