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"YOU'RE WATCHING ... CBS ... WELCOME HOME."
=================================================================
CAPTION: LAST WEEK ON LINE OF FIRE ...
{Ken Mischief barely has time to roll away from the cover before
Corey, Robbie, and Tank slide into the ring, levelling stomps
on Kerry ... Corey and Tank lift him up, holding him for a Wicked
Awesome Super Kick, before Tank goes to work with a powerslam.}
[Escobar]: This -- this is unspeakable! They -- where are
YOU going --
>>AISLE<<
{Swayze's left the booth, and currently seems to be directing
traffic, sending Tori to block the ring personnel from getting
to ringside ... the Matthews brothers run out from the back,
but are pointed out by Swayze, and Hasegawa handsprings back
down the aisle to take them out with the Booty Call ...}
[Escobar]: This isn't a brawl -- this is a fully
premeditated act of war! They're trying to put Kerry
Masters out of commission!
[Marone]: Ouch -- I think they're doing a pretty good job,
too ...
{Suddenly, Justice and "War Machine" Greg Gardner emerge from
the back ... Gardner plows into Hasegawa, and Justice shuts
up Swayze with a clothesline.}
[Escobar]: Finally, some help arriving, but they're still
struggling to get to ringside ... I can't believe I'm
seeing this ...
>>RING<<
{Bradley hoists up Masters in the air, then takes a few steps
before launching Masters over the ropes to the mat below in a
vicious powerbomb ... the crowd goes absolutely CRAZY booing
and howling, and a group near the front row leans over the
railing and shouts, "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KERRY! YOU
BASTARDS!"}
[Escobar]: This can't be happening! Wait ... now Gardner
and Justice have reached the ring ... and here comes
Ed Carr ... Team Stevens scatters like the cockroaches
they are ...
=================================================================
{The view fades into a CGI image of a gun barrel interior (a
la Bond movies), the POV rapidly backing out along it's length
to bring the gun itself into view. As Golden Earring's
"Twilight Zone" cues up. The gun turns to the left in profile.}
[Music]
It's 2am (it's 2 am)/Fear is gone (fear is gone)
I'm somewhere where/The Gun's still warm
Thinking my connection/Is tired of taking chances
{The chamber of the animated revolver opens, as a sequence of
video images of wrestling action move up the right side of the
screen, encased in a "film loop". Every other image is "sucked"
into one of the revolver chambers as it passes the center.}
Yeah, there's a storm on the loose/Sun reigns on my head
Wrapped up inside themselves/Circuits are dead
Cannot decode/My whole life spins into a frenzy
Now I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone
This is a madhouse/Feels like being home
My feet they can't move/Under moon and star
Where am I to go Now that I've gone too far
{The chamber of the gun closes and spins, as the gun rotates
around the long way to eventually face the viewer.}
You will come to know/when the bullet hits the bone ...
You will come to know
... when the bullet hits the bone ...
{A loud drumbeat corresponds with the firing of the gun; as the
bullet rapidly "strikes" the screen, it causes a bright flash
and the logo:
=================================================================
_ __________=___ A W I ___=__________ _
\\@([____]_____() | | |\ | [~ ()_____[____])@//
_/\|-[____] |_ | | \| [_ [____]-|/\_
/ /(( ) OF ( ))/ \
/____|'----' [~ | |} [~ '----'|____\
\____/ [ | |\ [_ \____/
=================================================================
: Joe Louis Arena, St. Louis, MO
{The logo splits in two to reveal a crowded arena, packed with
cheering fans, then dissolves to a closeup of the aisle seats,
panning across various individuals mugging for the camera --
including a trio of young ladies supporting a life-size poster of
"The Awesome One" Kerry Masters; a pair of yahoos wearing
replica baseball outfits matching Joe & Steve from last week
(complete with beverage case full of Barq's cans, labeled "Boot
Reer" on the front); and a guy wielding a sign emblazoned "66!
Who's Next?" ...
... eventually, the camera manages to get to the
announcer's table just behind the safety railing, where three men
sit, the first a young Hispanic man dressed in a sharp white suit
with black shirt and white tie, the second a cocky, tanned blond
wearing what can only be described as "early Vega$", and a burly
fellow with wild black hair and a St. Louis Blues hockey jersey,
with, uh, white tie ... once again, the screen introduces them
as your hosts:
: Justin Escobar Chad Swayze Mike Marone
[Justin Escobar]
OLA, to all our fans out there in TV-land, joining us here
tonight in the Gateway City itself ... welcome to tonight's LINE
OF FIRE! I'm Justin Escobar, and with me as usual are Mike Marone
and--
[Chad Swayze]
--and the one man in this town right now who's scoring more than
Mark McGwire -- the OFFICIAL journalistic correspondant for the
Team Stevens 1998 World Tour, yours truly, the "Roadhouse" ...
[Mike Marone]
{counting on his fingers, then looking up} Uh, Chad, you don't
even play baseball.
[Escobar]
{dryly} Stay on topic, boys, this could be a long show. {sober}
We've got a great slate of action lined up for you fans tonight
... we've got some exciting new superstars making their first
appearances tonight on Line of Fire ... Ed Carr is scheduled for
a test of scientific skills with Germanic newcomer, Karl Von
Eichmann ...
[Swayze]
Which, unless Karl shows us something we haven't seen yet from
him -- like cojones -- it's going to be a looooong, booooring
night -- except for the presence of me, of course.
[Escobar]
I'll ignore that ... but we can't ignore the /official/ return
of former North American champion JACK FURY! And Fury steps
into the ring against an OPEN challenger -- first come, first
serve!
[Marone]
I've taken a few knocks in my time, y'know, but this Fury guy,
he's making a /serious/ bid for the Mr. Unstable pageant, if
you follow me.
[Escobar]
For once, I think I do. Finally, in our main event tonight--
[Swayze]
--Kerry Masters COMMITS SUICIDE, LIVE ON YOUR TV!!!
[Escobar]
CHAD! That was both crude AND an unfair assessment of this
matchup...
[Swayze]
Unfair? You all saw how easily the Walking Weapon of Mass
Destruction twisted him into knots and then flattened him like
a pancake ... if Tank powerbombed Steve Austin like that, it'd
cost TWELVE million dollars to put him back together again --
and Kerry just ain't worth THAT much, bay-bee!
[Escobar]
I can't believe you'd have the gall to actually brag about what
happened last week! Team Stevens has a LOT to answer for -- and
that includes you, I think ...
[Swayze]
No problemo, muy bueno -- just means more camera time for
Roadhouse and the Man with the Plan, which means everybody goes
home happy!
[Marone]
Except Kerry. I'd imagine he's pretty ticked. And if he gets
to Robbie, could be nobody GOES home -- he's got the only car
between you guys, right?
[Swayze]
Who told you that? That's a --
>>AISLE<<
{Swayze's protests are interrupted by the howling strings and
winds of Mussorgsky's "Night on Bald Mountain" over the speakers,
as four hooded and cloaked figures wheel a large cart to
ringside ...}
[Escobar]: Eyes front, compadres ... possibly for your own
safety -- we're about to get our first REAL look at the man
who calls himself the Scarecrow, Dominic Nightshade, as he
sets to tangle with bruiser Frederick Holland ...
{On a post in the middle of the cart hangs a gaunt figure with
pale yellow hair, dressed in the ragged attire of a scarecrow ...
as the cart reaches the ring, the scarecrow raises his head, and
lowers himself from the post into the ring.}
[Marone]: This is a lot cheaper than a /formal/ press notice
that we're not family-oriented, isn't it?
{Dominic and Holland square off; Nightshade starts things out
with a legsweep, picks up Frederick into a short-arm clothesline,
and whips him into the ropes ... Holland ducks another
clothesline, and disorients Nightshade with a series of punches.}
[Escobar]: And Dominic getting the advantage early on ...
Holland into the ropes--a swing and a miss, and Frederick
takes advantage, showing off those Golden-Gloves-winning
skills on Dominic's chin! I think the Scarecrow may have
underestimated his opponent here ...
[Swayze]: He probably wasn't counting on a loser like
Freddy the Unsteady to actually show up ... I'm sure Plan
B will come along shortly ...
{Holland winds up and knocks Dominic flat on the ground with an
uppercut.}
[Escobar]: WHOA! Holland with a knockout blow ... and the
Scarecrow's not even twitching ... we have the makings of
an upset here, as Holland heads up to the top ropes ...
[Marone]: Either the AWI boardroom dudes messed up big time,
or something's really rotten here ... and I'm not talkin'
'bout the pumpkins he brought on that cart ...
{As Holland climbs to the top, Nightshade sits up on the ground,
looks around at the audience, then rolls to the turnbuckle ... as
Holland gets set up for a high-risk move, he gets a double
axehandle to the chest instead ... then Nightshade joins him at
the top, and brings them both crashing to the mat in a super
bulldog.}
[Escobar]: Hold the phones! He wasn't fazed at ALL by that
punch--and Holland finds out the hard way! And Dominic takes
him to the floor with the Harvester!
[Marone]: Huh? How did you know that?
[Escobar]: Paul Stone turned in these notes before the show.
[Swayze]: He can't tell us in person?
[Escobar]: He, uh, called in sick.
[Swayze]: Heh -- sitting at home drinking CHICKEN soup,
Stoner? Hey, Paul -- BOO! Haha!
[Marone]: That's like a zillion times less funny than you
think it is, man.
[Swayze]: Oh, /there's/ an informed opinion ...
{Nightshade picks up Holland long enough to DDT him, then sets
him back on the ropes ... hoists him up for an inverted double
underhook piledriver, then falls forward instead for a facedriver
off the top.}
[Escobar]: Holland in BIG trouble now ... if he doesn't get
his second wind soon, it could all be over ...
[Marone]: Hey, I know -- he's turning the tables! He's just
playing possum long enough to fool Nightshade, and then BAM!
[Escobar]: And there's the Pumpkin Smasher! Tom Newman with
the count ... 1 ... 2 ... and 3!! Dominic Nightshade has his
first win in the AWI!
[Marone]: Hunh ... well, Fred got the first part down, but he
sorta blew the "bam" part. He should work on that next time.
[Escobar]: Even I have to admit, this man has to be taken
seriously in the future-- wait a minute, what is he doing
now?
{Dominic picks the out-of-it Holland up, and puts him back on the
top one more time. Spinning away from the turnbuckle, he plants a
crescent kick right in Holland's chest -- Nightshade lands in the
ring, Holland lands out of the ring, square on the pile of
formerly-intact pumpkins in the cart at ringside.}
[Escobar]: He's not -- NO!
[Swayze]: Yee-ha! Smashing Pumpkins -- it's not just a band,
it's the highlight of Freddy Holland's career!
{The camera follows Dominic out of the ring, where he can clearly
be seen mouthing "trick or treat" to Holland before the ring
attendants arrive to clean things up.}
>>PRESS TABLE<<
[Escobar]
I WAS prepared to say we've just seen an impressive debut by a
talented newcomer -- but I think it's safer to say we've just
seen a disgraceful display of calculated humiliation!
[Swayze]
I know, man -- I've got goosebumps, too.
[Marone]
This guy is SERIOUSLY into lying -- I mean, he lies to Stone,
lies to his opponents in the ring ... and he obviously DOES have
brains, but DOESN'T have a heart, so he's even lying about his
Oz-ness, man -- and lying about your Oz-ness is just about the
lowest thing I can think of.
[Escobar]
I agree with your sentiment, Mike, if not exactly those -- eh?
What now--
>>AISLE<<
{Through the entrance curtain steps a 6'6" man dressed as the
total incarnation of Ed Carr Fanboydom -- "Ed Carr Wrestling
Academy" jacket and hat, AWI Ed Carr t-shirt ... even his boots
read up the side "Expert". In his hands, he holds what appears to
be a framed document of some sort. Long brown hair falls down his
back; MWA and KWF fans in the audience start a low boo, as they
recognize this figure as Dave Hatfield.}
[Escobar]: This ... is not going to be pleasant.
[Swayze]: It looks like a testimonial to ED CARR, Escobo --
that's already about as unpleasant as *I* can think of.
{Dave rushes up to the closest camera and shows off the framed
document -- a graduation diploma from the Ed Carr Wrestling
Academy, signed in his name. He take a wireless microphone out
of his jacket pocket as he steps onto the Sniper's Nest.}
[Hatfield]
MAN! WHAT A CROWD! I don't think I've ever been in front of so
many people. How's it going, SAINT LOUIS???
{Mixed crowd reaction -- some pop for themselves, others who
know better boo louder.}
[Hatfield]
Well, as you all may have figured out, I am an Ed Carr fan. I
went to the Ed Carr Wrestling Academy, graduated with flying
colors, and even TEAMED with the Expert himself in another
federation! What a great man he is!
{A hushed "bull---" chant can be made out winding through the
crowd.}
[Hatfield]
Thank you. I'm very pleased to be here in the AWI. I feel truly
privileged to have been chosen, and I ESPECIALLY feel honored to
introduce my mentor. He is my mentor, my former tag partner, and
my best friend in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!! Ladies and gentlemen,
AWI and true diehard fans throughout tv land ... "The EXPERT" ED
CARR!!!!!!
>>AISLE<<
{"I'm No Angel" by Gregg Allman cues up ... for a second, the
crowd cheers prematurely, but nothing appears. A tense couple of
seconds later, the crowd begins to murmor and talk among
themselves.}
[Swayze]: He didn't show up! YAY! WOOHOO! HAPPY DAYS!
{Finally, two attendants come out with a donkey wearing a
covering matching Ed Carr's tights. On the donkey's head is a hat
with the words "HI! My Name Is Mister Ed" written in bold white
lettering. The attendant lead the donkey up to the stage where
Dave is acting absolutely estatic.}
[Swayze]: Hey, wow, he actually IS friends with Ed!
[Hatfield]
Oh ... OH MY GOD!!!!
[Escobar]: {*disgusted sigh*} That was roughly my sentiments
as well.
{The boos win out at this point.}
[Hatfield]
It is SUCH AN HONOR to introduce you to the AWI, Ed! We've all
heard about your deeds here and elsewhere, and I KNOW you're
never at a loss for words, so what would you like to tell your
fans out there?
{Dave holds the microphone up to the donkey's mouth, but only a
slight snorting sound comes from it.}
[Hatfield]
That's interesting that you bring that up. WHY is Robbie Stevens
such a wienie?
{Dave holds up the mic to the donkey, but its only answer is to
wander over and start scarfing up some pumpkin remnants the
clean-up crew missed.}
[Hatfield]
Well, I understand that Stevens has outsmarted you on every turn,
but you'll get back at him. I just know it! Now, how do you
intend to take out Team Stevens?
{He holds the mic to the donkey, who brays obligatorily.}
[Hatfield]
Hmmmmm ... that's an ingenious plan. It'll just be out little
secret, and you KNOW I can keep a secret, don't you? Well, I know
you have to go work on your plan, so I won't keep you out here,
Ed.
{As Ed's music come up, the attendants lead the donkey back to
the back.}
[Hatfield]
Ladies and Gentlemen, Give it up for ED!!!!
[Escobar]
I ... I stand corrected again. I didn't think I could GET
more disgusted tonight.
[Swayze]
Yeah. Where does he get off calling Robbie a wienie? Ed's
gonna pay for that!
[Escobar]
What in -- never mind ... let's just go to commercial, and
I'll pretend this part of the show didn't exist ...
[Marone]
Good idea. I tried the same thing about the last 3 years of
my career.
=================================================================
WHEN WE RETURN: Dragonfire Lights Up the AWI!
COMMERCIAL BREAK: What are you afraid of -- it's only an URBAN
LEGEND! Coming to theaters this fall ... reverse-engineered from
UFOs--the Volkswagen Beetle-II ... buy the new popcorn KFC, or
the Colonel will do the funky chicken until you do ...
=================================================================
>>SNIPER'S NEST<<
{Light boos can be heard from prescient fans as the camera zooms
in on Chad Duncan ...}
[Escobar]: And the 1998 Indigestion Tour looks ready to
continue, apparently ...
[Swayze]: Hey, like, shape it up, Justino -- you should be
grateful we're here every night to put a little light in
your darknesses ...
[Marone]: Grateful? I guess that makes sense -- you guys
/do/ grate on me, and you're pretty full of it too.
[Chad Duncan]
Joining me at this time is a former AWI Television champion as
well as one half of the current AWI North American tag team
champions. Ladies and gentleman please welcome a {clears throat}
proud representative of Team Stevens, Toshiaki "Smilin' Joey"
Hasegawa!
{"Yer So Vain" by Faster Pussycat comes over the PA as Hasegawa
makes his way from the locker room area, encouraging the boos and
catcalls of the crowd, which are plentiful. One catwalk strut
later, he joins Duncan in the Sniper's Nest.}
[Smilin' Joey]
{shaking his head} Chad, please ... when you're interviewing the
Fashion Plate of the AWI, next time, show a little class. At the
very least spring for the Blue Light Special -- anything's gotta
be better than that outfit.
[Swayze]: Man, Duncan should feel honored -- playboys and
jet-setters around the world pay out mucho dinero for a few
words of fashion advice from this man, and he's just GIVING
it away tonight ...
[Marone]: Yeah, only without the "few words" part.
[Chad]
{ignoring Hasegawa} Yes, anyway -- there's some questions on
everyone's mind lately, Joey, especially regarding your place in
Team Stevens, as well as your teaming with Tank Bradley. As a
matter of fact, you haven't appeared together lately at all,
except for last week's attack on Kerry Masters.
[Smilin' Joey]
First of all, Chad, Team Stevens is the elite in professional
wrestling overall, not just the AWI. We're busy men. As a matter
of fact, the reason I haven't been around as much lately is
because I've been Team Stevens' goodwill ambassador on a tour of
the Orient.
[Escobar]: The Orient? You claim to be the inside man, Chad
-- is Team Stevens really been tormenting foreign countries
now, too?
[Swayze]: Hey, Justino, if the Fashion Plate says it, the
Fashion Plate means it -- he's Team Stevens, baby, so you
KNOW it's the truth!
[Marone]: I didn't follow that -- did you skip a step?
[Chad]
That still doesn't explain why you're out here by yourself while
the rest of Team Stevens is scheduled to speak later--
[Smilin' Joey]
Nice guy that I am, Chad, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just
interrupt me there. As I was saying, we're kind of Renaissance
men in Team Stevens -- we all have a diverse mix of interests.
Sometimes our interests are the same, sometimes they aren't.
Sometimes we kinda like to do our own thing. Other times -- well,
seems that beatin up on Kerry was something everyone could agree
on.
[Chad]
What was the purp--
[Smilin' Joey]
{grabbing the microphone} Now what did I say about interruptions
Chad? Anyway, you wanna know why we beat up Kerry Masters, the
man who has more catchphrases than brain cells. Well, it's simple,
kinda like Kerry is ... Masters is obviously nothing but a
Smilin' Joey wannabe, and a damn poor one at that.
[Marone]: Hey, good point! Uh, but, Kerry was here first,
wasn't he?
[Swayze]: Yeah, but what did he really DO before Joey popped
in to give him something to plagiarize?
[Escobar]: He won the North American championship ...
[Swayze]: Hey, Escobo, that was a rhetorical question! Don't
confuse the issue here, poor Mike's head'll hurt.
[Smilin' Joey]
Well, he doesn't have the class, he doesn't have the style, he
doesn't have the moves ... hell, he doesn't even have the crowd
rapport that yours truly has.
{Hasegawa gestures to the crowd, who of course boos in response.}
[Marone]: Wow -- he's even more popular than Newt Gingrich!
Or O.J.! Or -- no, on second thought, they don't seem to
like him /quite/ as much as hospital food ...
{After making a threatening gesture to the fans, Smilin' Joey
returns to addressing the camera.}
[Smilin' Joey]
Now, Masters, I guess you didn't notice what happened to the last
Smilin' Joey wannabe we had around here, so I guess you're going
to have to learn this the hard way. I would just love to take
care of you myself ... but my leg's still botherin' me a little
bit. So, Tank Bradley, a man I love like a brother ... he's gonna
take care of you for me. I admit Kerry, if you have to emulate
anyone, you made a good choice -- but Tank's not happy with you.
By the time Tank gets through with you Masters, the only
catchphrase you're going to have is OWWWWWWWWWOOOOWWWWW ...
{chuckles} I may have to get a good seat for this match -- I
think this is gonna be a fun night, Chad.
[Swayze]: I like that -- think we can fit "OWWWWWWWWWWWW"
on a T-shirt?
{Hasegawa "fixes" Chad's tie, then struts off to a chorus of
boos.}
[Escobar]: If this sort of thing keeps up, we're going to
have to get Rolaids as a sponsor.
[Marone]: Yeah -- especially if my buds in Looking For A
Fight keep showing up ... mighty tasty vittles, but man
does it do a number on my slumber, y'know?
[Escobar]: That's not what I -- uh, exactly, Mike, now
why don't we head to the ring for our next match?
[Marone]: Nahh -- no need. The view's pretty good from
here already.
>>RINGSIDE<<
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, our first bout for tonight is set for one
fall, with a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first,
already in the ring ... DIGGER DOUGLAS!
{Digger thrusts his hands in the air, in a simple salute -- and
gets no reaction from the crowd, which seems to irritate him.}
[Rod Allen]
And his opponent tonight ... weighing in at two-hundred pounds,
from the Victoria Colony in Hong Kong ... this is "DRAGONFIRE"
... KIEN ... LUN!!!
{The lights dim slightly, and the rolling drums of "A Taste of
Things To Come" from the Mortal Kombat soundtrack sounds over
the PA, as smoke dispensers fill the aisle with green haze ...
out of the smoke comes jogging a thin but well-muscled man in
black lantern pants with green-and-gold embroidered oriental
dragons winding around each leg, and a green vest with black
and gold "flame" patterns on it. He heads to the ring, and
turns around to face the crowd, absorbing the light smattering
of cheers; he then reaches above his head, grabs the top rope,
and pulls himself into the ring.}
[Swayze]: Man, I cannot BELIEVE this camera hog. Think of
all the things this time could be used for instead of
watching him suck up to the crowds.
[Marone]: Yeah -- we could be watching you suck up to
Robbie. {pause} No, I think I like this guy better.
{Kien shakes hands with Digger; they part, then lock up collar to
elbow. Kien gets the advantage, and turns it to a headlock.
Digger breaks free, and Kien clamps a claw on his face, then
moves behind to lock a half nelson for additional pressure.}
[Escobar]: Kien Lun shows off a clean technical start ...
somewhat of a departure from the high energy acrobatics
showcases that mark his regional appearances.
{Digger pushes his way free, and takes a swing at Kien; Kien
ducks, then backflips, kicking Digger in the chin.}
[Marone]: You mean like that?
[Escobar]: Ah, yes.
[Marone]: Cool! We're regional!
{Standing up, he drops a fast-spinning elbow into Digger, then
gets up and follows it with a somersault legdrop. Kien returns
to his feet, taking a couple of steps back as Digger staggers up,
then turns around and jumps back to hit Digger with a bicycle
flip kick (a la soccer).}
[Marone]: {shouting} GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!
[Escobar]: What?
[Marone]: --I dunno, I just always wanted to do that.
{Kien rolls to his knees, and throws an upward palm thrust to
Digger's chin as he's standing; Kien gets to his feet, but Digger
drives a knee to his midsection. He tries to whip him to the
corner, but Kien reverses the whip; Kien closes in, and performs
a split-legged hurricarana.}
[Escobar]: And Kien also showing that lack of experience
with American wrestlers that's hurt him in the past ...
Digger now with the advantage, whips Kien -- no, Kien
with the reversal, he charges into the ropes -- OLA! What
a move!
[Marone]: Forget the Rolaids, Justin -- you got anything
for motion sickness? I'm starting to get a little dizzy ...
{Kien hops over the rope and climbs the first turnbuckle from
outside; he plays to the crowd for a moment, doing a gymnastic
horse spin on the turnbuckle before climbing all the way to the
top. He leaps off for a moonsault, but Digger manages to get his
knees in the way.}
[Escobar]: NO VA! You have to appreciate Kien Lun's
enthusiasm -- but it seems to have cost him here ... he gave
Digger Douglas just a little too much time to recover ...
[Swayze]: Some rising superstar, huh? Serve him right if he
got his wings plucked right here!
{Digger headlocks Kien and drags him to his feet. He attempts an
irish whip, but Kien flips forward over his arm, then pulls him
in for a palm thrust.}
[Escobar]: Digger taking advantage of his change of luck,
pulling Kien up ... and -- and once again Kien blocks the
irish whip attempt, turning into an offensive of his own!
[Swayze]: Yeah, I can't tell you how offended /I/ am ...
[Marone]: Y'know, that's why Digger's had his problems
winning in the ring lately ... when you go to the well
and the well is dry, you go to a different well -- Digger
just scrapes the walls with the bucket until he falls in.
{Kien whips Digger to the ropes, rushing to the opposite side; on
the rebound, Kien leaps onto Digger's shoulders, spins once
(gym-horse style), and then grabs his neck, falling into a
facefirst bulldog.}
[Escobar]: And Dragonfire in motion now -- and UNBELIEVABLE
-- Kien putting his world-class gymnastic skills to
incredible use!
[Swayze]: He can get away with that bunko with a bumbler like
Digger, but sooner or later he's gonna learn the hard way --
in this sport, the Russian judge doesn't give you a 4.0, he
drops a 4.0 Richter on your head ...
{Kien rolls Digger on his back and slides him into a dragon sleeper.}
[Escobar]: Kien Lun showing that he's not just an acrobat,
he's also got some classic Asian wrestling moves as well ...
[Swayze]: What he's got is a monster ego!
[Escobar]: What about YOUR ego?!
[Swayze]: I don't have an ego. I'm just great, is all.
[Marone]: That makes sense ... I think ... hold on a sec ...
{Digger breaks the hold, falling to the mat; Kien stands straight,
and rushes to the ropes. As Digger stands, Kien hops on the top
rope and springs backwards, doing a complete 360 flip before
hitting Digger with a back elbow.}
[Escobar]: Digger out now, but Lun not ready to halt the
attack ... Digger to his feet -- LUN WITH A BACK SOMERSAULT
and an elbow!
[Swayze]: Can anybody else hear it? It's such a haunting
sound ...
[Escobar]: What are you talking about?
[Marone]: Yeah, I know what you mean -- I haven't been able
to get it out of my head either ... (singing) "Admire me,
admire my home, admire my song, here's my--"
[Swayze]: No, you busted toolbox-- I'm talking about the
sound in the RING ... it's the mating call of the loser!
The soft, insistent tones ... "Storm the ring ... beat me
up ... storm the ring ... beat me up ..."--I'm tellin' you,
Justino, it's like a siren's call!
[Escobar]: {dryly} Try and resist it.
{Kien Lun climbs the corner, and spreads his arms like wings while
Digger stands; he leaps off to hit Digger with a shooting star
hurricarana, then makes the cover.}
[Escobar]: AMAZING maneuver from the young Hong Kong man --
he makes the cover, but I think it's a formality right now!
Count one win in the books for "Dragonfire" ... Now, let's
go to Chad Duncan in the Sniper's Nest for some comments!
>>SNIPER'S NEST<<
{Chad Duncan is waiting, while highlights of Kien Lun's match
play on the video wall in sequencing rotation with a "Dragonfire"
logo. After a few moments of this, Kien Lun makes his way up to
the platform, very slightly winded.}
[Chad Duncan]
Kien Lun, you've certainly put on a unique spectacle for us
tonight with your debut here--
{Kien holds up a hand to cut in.}
[Kien Lun]
{strong Chinese accent} That is not completely right, Mr. Duncan.
I am not a stranger to this ring ... tonight was a reunion, not
an introduction. But, you are right, that this is my debut for
the AWI -- and, maybe, to myself.
[Swayze]: Oh, great -- he's not just a wrestler, he's a
fortune cookie.
[Marone]: Oh, way to go -- now I'm hungry again ...
[Chad Duncan]
That's a little cryptic -- could you elaborate?
[Kien Lun]
Yes ... when I first came to wrestle here in America, I was maybe
less than your {speaks slow for a moment} preliminary {normal
pace} wrestlers. I had the talent, I had the techniques -- but I
could not bring the parts together to succeed.
[Chad Duncan]
And that's changed now?
[Kien Lun]
I hope so {smile} ... before, I had too much pride -- I was very
stubborn, I wanted to do everything myself. I know now, there is
no shame in asking for help; you do what you do best, and what
you can not do, you find someone who can. I have someone now who
can teach me what I could not do, someone who knows this sport
maybe better than I ever will.
[Swayze]: I think he just /pinned/ a man who knows more than
HE ever will.
[Chad Duncan]
And that someone is?
[Kien Lun]
That man is here tonight; that man ... {louder} is Mr. Ed Carr!
[Swayze]: WHAT?! Man, I KNEW there was a reason I hated
this punk!
>>AISLE<<
{"I'm No Angel" by Greg Allmann cues up on the PA system, as Ed
Carr -- the REAL Ed Carr :] -- walks down the aisle, accompanied
by Jack Robertson. He climbs up the platform to the Nest, and
takes the mic from Chad.}
[Ed Carr]
Settle in folks, 'cause this could take awhile. Now, I'm still
kinda new to the AWI, but if you've been a fan of the sport for a
little while chances are that you've heard the name Carr, whether
it's me, my bro, or the old man. It's a name that means something
in the sport of wrestling. It's not something I've always been
proud to be associated with, but it does mean something.
[Swayze]: Ramble, ramble, babble, babble, blah, blah, yakkity
shmakkity ...
[Escobar]: Chad!
[Ed Carr]
I dunno if people confuse me with my old man or what, but some
seem to think I'm this old cagey vet. Old -- well, I'm 31, which
isn't really old or young by wrestling standards.
[Swayze]: Fine, fine, so you're not old. I just hope I'M not
gonna be by the time you're done.
[Ed Carr]
Cagey -- yeah, I resemble that. Veteran -- well, counting
training, I've been doing this for four years now. That's a
little while, but nothing compared to guys like Jerry Straite.
[Swayze]: It's not even anything compared to ME ...
[Marone]: Well, except that he's won more than one match.
[Swayze]: Hey!
[Ed Carr]
What it is is this -- I'm a traditionalist. I show respect for
the sport. I show respect for other competitors -- even those
that don't deserve it. I work hard on the basics. I put in the
time on the mat. I study tapes. If that makes me old school so to
speak, then you're damn right I'm old school.
Unfortunately, not everyone seems to have the respect for this
sport that I do. It's when there's wrestlers out there that make
/ME/ embarrassed to be a professional wrestler that I get upset.
You've got guys like my pal Robbie. You've got guys like {coughs}
/MISTER/ N-L-S Maurice Jackson -- Jackson, I'm surprised you
remember what "NLS" stands for, 'cause I don't think I've ever
seen you do one right. You've got guys like the soon-to-be-late
Doug Abercrombie and Weasle -- Doug, I strongly suggest picking on
someone you're own size. You've got guys like Hatfield -- Wilbur,
while I'm sure Mrs. Hatfield appreciates a night on the town for
once, keep it where no one has to watch, please?
Thankfully, there are still some good ones out there, and if I
can help them at all you're damn right I'm going to do it. Guys
like Kien Lun here, who has more heart than 99% of the dressing
room. Guys like Jack Robertson, who's been busting his tail day
in and day out in order to improve himself and reclaim some honor
for the family name. Guys like Kerry Masters. Kerry, we haven't
always gotten along, but I wanna say this publicly -- the fact
that, after that beating last week, you still wanna face Bradley
-- you've got my respect, man. It may not be the smartest thing
you've ever done, but it takes cojones -- you want backup, you've
got it.
[Swayze]: Oh, great tactic -- he'll jump into the ring, and
him and Kerry will bore Tank unconscious ...
[Marone]: Hey, it worked for Straite. Oh, wait -- that was
a sleeperhold.
[Swayze]: We're not going there, Mike muchacho. Not
tonight, not ever, not if we want to keep Tank a happy
man -- and trust me, we do.
[Kien Lun]
Mr. Duncan, this is what draws the Ed Carr Wrestling Academy
together. Mr. Carr does not have a dozen World Championships in
his trophy case, or decades of fame. But what he has is rare to
find: he understands what this sport is supposed to be. Heart,
hard work, courage, and honest competition -- these are qualities
that define an ATHLETE, in ANY sport. These are qualities central
to being a true professional -- and these are the qualities that
Ed Carr, Jack Robertson, and myself all uphold.
[Ed]
One last thing -- to my opponent tonight: Karl, don't mistake my
lack of comments regarding you as a lack of respect. You're one
of the best pure wrestlers I've seen in awhile, and I'm looking
forward to the match. It'll be nice to have one and not worry
about who's gonna pull the first cheap shot.
[Swayze]: Now it's MY turn to be sick.
[Escobar]: Whereas I'M feeling rather refreshed ... but
you'll get a chance to feel better, unfortunately, Chad,
since we have to go to a break here -- we'll be right
back, fans!
=================================================================
WHEN WE RETURN: The Epitome Orates!
COMMERCIAL BREAK: You can tell a Valvoline customer--they drop
cars on themselves for fun ... when you need the impossible done,
call RONIN--coming to a theater near you ... staying at the
Holiday Inn Express may not make you smarter -- but you might
meet the Promoter ...
=================================================================
>SNIPER'S NEST<
{"Gett Off" by Prince and the NPG keys up, as "The Awesome One"
Kerry Masters makes his way to the Sniper's Nest, stopping to
slap hands and kiss a few of the cuter women along the way; the
video wall at the back of the Nest alternates between graphics
of "A-W-E/S-O-M-E" and a big "1", interspersed with highlights
from his recent matches.}
[Escobar]: And the fans simply going wild for the Awesome
One ...
[Swayze]: They should be -- he only has 35 minutes to
live.
[Marone]: Hey, where's Chad Duncan?
[Swayze]: He probably knocked off for coffee -- it's
not like he'd say anything anyway, with Masters the
Mic-monger out there.
[Kerry Masters]
Last week, I came out here to take on our World Champion ...
pretty confident ... kinda half-cocked ... and I paid for it
with an unfortunate jump onto concrete and a 1, 2, 3 loss. Now,
I'm not here to talk about that ... except to say that the
result won't be the same next time, Mischief.
What I came here to talk about was what happened AFTER the match.
Specifically, when Team Stevens decided it was time to take the
Awesome One out. Most specifically, Tank Bradley throwing me over
the top rope onto concrete real ... REAL ... hard.
[Swayze]: The fondest of memories ...
[Escobar]: Chad, please ...
[Kerry Masters]
I've been trying to figure out for the last week why I was thrown
over the top rope onto concrete real ... REAL ... hard. I've
actually tried to stay away from Team Stevens in the past. Not
out of concern or fear or anything like that ... merely the fact
that Robbie talks too damn much ... and you KNOW I hate when
people talk too much.
Apparently, though, they've decided to come after me and toss me
over the top rope onto concrete real ... REAL ... hard ...
Oh, and if you wonder why I keep repeating that, well -- you get
tossed over the top rope onto concrete real ... REAL ... hard ...
and you see if you can think about anything else afterwards.
[Swayze]: Yeah, it was a special moment for all of us.
[Escobar]: CHAD ...
[Kerry Masters]
Anyway, I came up with three theories. One -- Tank knew he
couldn't outwrestle me, so he decided to hurt me a bit before our
match. Well ... Robbie told Tank to do it, anyway ... Bradley
ain't the fastest engine in the garage, so I doubt he came up
with it by himself. Two -- Team Stevens is trying to take me out.
Three -- Team Stevens is trying to shut me up.
[Marone]: So which is it?
[Swayze]: Uh ... it's classified.
[Marone]: Ah. You mean, Robbie doesn't tell you anything.
[Swayze]: Of /course/ he tells me -- he tells me everything.
I'm the chronicler of the Cool One's accomplishments! That
entitles you to ALL the privileged information!
[Marone]: Like which driver to hand Robbie on the back nine.
[Swayze]: Yeah, like which -- heeeeyyy, you better just
watch yourself, Mike -- you do NOT want to get on our list!
[Marone]: OK ... but since I can watch myself anywhere, is
it OK if I just watch Kerry for the moment?
[Masters]
Now ... if it's the first scenario: congrats. It worked. The
Awesome One is nothing if I'm not, to an extent, a creature of
ego ... and that ego won't let me back down, even if I'm not 100%.
If you're trying to take me out, though ... or trying to "shut me
up" ... well ... I have five words for you ... IS THAT ALL YOU
GOT!?!?!
{The sound is momentarily drowned out by a MAJOR crowd roar ...}
[Masters]
Kids, your little "Kerry Killer Bomb" ain't gonna cut it. You
think somebody that's been getting his ass kicked by people like
War Machine for YEARS is going to get taken out by one little
powerbomb over the top rope ... albiet one that sent me over the
top rope onto concrete real ... REAL ... hard? I THINK NOT!!!
Bradley ... all you did was set yourself up for embarrassment ...
because now I get to fly all around you, twist you into a
pretzel, and pin your shoulders on the mat ... and afterwards,
say I DID IT HURT!!! You and any of your boys are just going to
be another notch in the win column for the Epitome Of What
Everyone Wants To Be!!!
{Kerry heads to the back, to thunderous cheers from the crowd ...}
[Escobar]: Strong words from one-half of our main event ...
and I would have to think Team Stevens should be having
second thoughts at this point, eh?
[Swayze]: Don't get crazy on me now, Justino -- a lot of
guys on Death Row crack jokes and act tough, too ... but
in a few minutes, Kerry's going to be strapped into the
ring with the Walking Weapon of Mass Destruction targeted
at his fragile little spine ... and there ain't gonna be no
call from the governor, Kerry!
[Marone]: If there was, would you call off the match?
[Swayze]: No way ... Jersey folk don't have to listen to
some Show-Me-state sideshow performer ...
[Escobar]: I'd say your legal knowledge is as enlightened
as the rest of your opinions ... but we've got a match up.
>>RINGSIDE<<
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, our next bout is set for one fall, with a
time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, from the Rising
Sun by way of the Lone Star State ... COLT KAWAII!!!!
{"Deep in the Heart of Texas" plays of the speakers to sizeable
cheers, as Kawaii bounces out from the back like a bolt of
lightning, last week's jacket replaced with a shinier version, a
stylized Texas motif emblazoned on the back in Lone Star colors
... she slaps hands on her way to the ring, waving a tiny American
flag ... she bounds from the floor to the apron in one hop, then
takes her cowboy hat off to wave it at the crowd before bounding
to the turnbuckle and moonsaulting into the ring, almost losing
her hat in the process ...}
[Swayze]: {audible grimace} Dentists everywhere are praying
thanks to God for Colt Kawaii ...
[Allen]
And her opponent ... from Manhattan Island in the city that
never sleeps, New York City ... the MASTERMIND ... ALLIYAH ...
JOHNSTON!!
{The boos begin even before the instrumental of "Caught A Light
Sneeze" cues over the speakers ... Johnston shrugs off the fans
with a contemptuous gesture as she makes her way into the ring.
Colt Kawaii offers a handshake to Alliyah, who surprisingly
accepts it.}
[Escobar]: And Colt somewhat optimistically offers a
sportsmanlike hand to the Mastermind--
[Marone]: Shouldn't that be "sportswomanlike"?
[Swayze]: No, it'd be "sportspipsqueaklike".
[Escobar]: Alliyah actually returns the handshake ... maybe
she's had second thoughts about her words earlier ...
{Alliyah bows deeply to Colt, who returns the gesture -- which
gives Johnston the opportunity to move in and deliver an ambush
DDT.}
[Escobar]: ... and now a touch of Japan, as the Mastermind
bows to Colt ... Colt returning it as the--NO! I can't
believe she just did that!
[Swayze]: Neither did Colt, Justino my man -- that's what
makes it such a great idea!
[Marone]: If they're such great ideas all the time, why do
the referees always get so mad?
[Swayze]: Just jealous of genius, I guess.
{Alliyah pulls Colt up, and bodyslams her. She slaps on a
headlock, and drags Colt back to her feet, then whips her into
the ropes; Colt retorts with a dropkick on the rebound.}
[Escobar]: And Johnston can't seem to decide whether she
wants more to taunt the crowd or taunt her opponent ...
scoops up Kawaii for a BIG slam ...
[Swayze]: I suppose you're going to get all mad at me if I
said Colt's career is looking like it'll be pretty short, eh
Mike?
[Marone]: Yeah, I would.
[Swayze]: OK, wouldn't think of it, then.
[Marone]: Well, goo--hey, wait a --
[Swayze]: SSH--can't you see I'm trying to watch the match?
Some people are like, tres inconsiderato!
[Escobar]: Johnston with a miscalculation -- and Kawaii makes
her pay for it!
{Colt backs into the ropes as Alliyah stands, and nails her with a
roundhouse kick; she then whips Johnston into the corner, and
closes in to throw a series of karate chops.}
[Swayze]: WHOA! Gidget's got game!
[Marone]: Hey, I got a question ...
[Swayze]: It wasn't a short joke, honest!
[Marone]: Huh? No, that wasn't -- this is a one-on-one
match, right?
[Escobar]: Naturally -- what does that have to do with
anything?
[Marone]: Not much, I suppose ... except look over there ...
>AISLE<
{An athletic-looking, vaguely Asian woman makes her way down the
aisle, waving a large Japanese flag ...}
[Escobar]: An unexpected development, and an uncertain
one ... just what is she doing out here?
[Marone]: Maybe it's Kawaii's past from Japan coming back
to haunt her?
[Escobar]: Perhaps ... but I've seen quite a bit of the
Japanese sport, and I can't remember Kawaii ever facing
this woman ...
{Colt whips Alliyah to the opposite corner, then smacks her with
a pair of karate kicks; Alliyah fights her way out with a backspin
fist that knocks down Colt. Johnston drags Colt back up, only to
eat a dropkick.}
[Escobar]: Colt obviously came to this match pumped up and
loaded for bear, and she's using that momentum to great
effect against Johnston ...
[Marone]: Which is all the more surprising when you realize
Alliyah's not a bear.
[Escobar] Excellent poin-huh?
[Swayze]: By the time you and Mike get on the same page,
Escobarrio, Colt's gonna be seein' stars the way she did
after that punch!
[Escobar]: Johnston starting to put together an offensive--
[Swayze]: What she's DOING is showing that even nearly a
year off isn't enough to keep a true master of the sport
from beating a clueless rookie--especially one she could
bodyslam with a sneeze--
[Escobar]: --But Kawaii keeps her advantage with a
dropkick! Spoke too soon, eh, Chad?
[Swayze]: It's never too soon to hear me talk, Justino.
[Marone]: Yeah, and being right's not that big of a deal.
{Colt lifts one leg up near-vertical, leaning to one side in a
standing split; as Alliyah starts to get up, she drops the leg
in a hard axe kick.}
[Escobar]: OLA! Colt literally putting every last inch into
that kick, and you can tell Alliyah's feeling it ...
{Colt picks up Alliyah and whips her into the ropes, bouncing off
the opposite side; when they meet, Colt leaps into a sunset flip.}
[Escobar]: Colt Kawaii could have her first sanctioned
pinfall right here! Uno! Dos! Tre-- NO!!!
{The mystery woman slides into the ring and bashed Colt in the back
just as the referee's about to count 3 ... she stomps on Colt for
good measure, then hooks her ankle underneath Colt's neck, kicks up
to lift her into the air, then sends her tumbling away via a vicious
enziguri-style kick from the other leg.}
[Escobar]: NOnono--this is awful!
[Swayze]: Oh, man, get me some popcorn!
[Marone]: You're gonna BE popcorn! Somebody's gotta get in
there, man!
[Swayze]: Why don't you, then--scared?
[Marone]: I--I can't hit a chick! That's just plain wrong!
[Swayze]: Muchacho, you are /so/ not cut out for Team
Stevens.
{Johnston's gotten to her feet, as the other woman backs a dazed
Colt into the corner, and begins to plaster her with martial-arts
kicks and punches, finishing up with a monkey flip to the center
of the ring.}
[Escobar]: This -- this is inexcusable! Colt had the pin
clean -- Johnston didn't even come CLOSE to kicking out
of that -- and now this?
[Swayze]: Ex-ACTLY, Escargot! You think she'd sign a match
like this without a plan? She's the MASTERMIND! They don't
hand that title out for winning Scrabble games!
[Marone]: I can't take this anymore ... {thump}
[Swayze]: Hey! Get back here! Man, I just know he's going
to spoil the show ...
{Johnston joins in the proceedings, knocking over a near-out
Colt with a double clothesline ... she then grabs the mic,
and hands it to the mysterious woman, who leans over Colt's
still form to speak ...}
[Mystery Woman]
A disgrace. A sad, pathetic disgrace. You should not be in
this position, Colt Kawaii. I look at you, and I see
everything I have. Skill ... agility ... beauty. You could
have been what I've always wanted to be Colt Kawaii. A
shining example of the superior Japanese Women's Wrestling
style.
But no, Colt. You couldn't embrace your proud past. You
couldn't represent your native land as others have. You
couldn't show this pathetic American audience what a REAL
women's athlete looks like ...
{The crowd boos, as if they didn't have enough reason to
boo already ...}
Oh, you have a few shining spots in America, such as
Tori Johannsen ... but for the most part, we American women
are a bunch of weak models and steroid-addled muscleheads.
Yes, Colt ... I'm American ... but not proud of it. I'm not
proud of this garbage the AWI's called "Women's Wrestling".
I trained ... and tried ... and tried ... to fight where
there's real competition. But then I see you ... trashing my
goals ... trashing your own heritage.
Well ... here's a wake-up call.
{With that, she lays the Japanese flag over Colt's body, and
hands the microphone over to Alliyah.}
[MAJ]
You've met your betters, dear Colt. Their names are "The
Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston and "The Dragon" Talia
Yamahara.
You should feel proud, Colt. Tonight begins the dawn of the
greatest force in AWI history. Welcome to the beginning of
Checkmate. I give you my Bishop, Talia Yamahara. If you'd
like, and you can bribe someone to help you, perhaps you can
taste more of Checkmate. But I warn you... the Mastermind is
/ALWAYS/ three steps ahead.
{Marone comes into the picture now basically pushing security
personnel to the ring ... Johnston and Yamahara, however, are
already out of the ring and down the opposite aisle, leaving
the security guys with little to do but check on Colt's
condition ...
[Swayze]: Too late, Moron--{chuckles} He's a total washout,
ain't he, Justino?
[Escobar]: I don't understand how you can somehow consider
not wanting to see someone hurt badly for no reason a
/flaw/, Chad.
[Swayze]: What's not to understand? He's as big a wimp as
she is ... actually, quite a bit bigger -- she's only two
feet tall, after all.
[Escobar]: Oh, for -- we're taking a break again ...
=================================================================
{The camera fades in on an McFarlane-school animation of a
graveyard at night ... as the cloud cover separates from the full
moon, light shines down from it like a spotlight, in time with
the opening organ note of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the
Opera".
[Jack Palance]: In the dead of night, on the apex of evil,
the creatures of darkness will come ...
{As the music swells, the camera pans down to a gravestone, from
which an arm thrusts up defiantly from beneath the ground,
bending down to pull out the rest of the body -- a recognizable
"corpse" of the "War Machine" Greg Gardner. The Gardner ghoul
is soon joined by others: Tank Bradley, Kerry Masters, Reverend
James, Danny Boy McGill, D.A. Bookthrower, Justice, Robbie
Stevens, and more indistinct forms. They shamble through the
tombstones, slowly collecting near the center.}
[Palance]: They will gather from the four corners of the
globe, to meet in the four rings of the arena -- an epic
contest where only one will survive!
{The ground begins the shakes, then cracks open, and a set of
four connected wrestling rings burst up from under the soil;
the various zombie wrestlers pile into the mega-ring and begin
pounding on each other.}
[Palance]: Sixteen men enter one ring -- pin one man and
advance to the next, be pinned ... well, don't be pinned.
In the end, the ultimate survivor will walk out with
ten-thousand dollars, AND the Devil's Deal -- any match,
any contract he wants to sign his name to! This ... is
the challenge of the ...
{A column of smoke begins to rise from the junction of the four
rings, and a scarlet demon appears from within, laughing. He
spreads his hands high above his head, then swings them down,
automagically "pulling" a logo down in place of the screen:}
=================================================================
1 6 M E N . . . 4 R I N G S . . . 1 S U R V I V O R
=================================================================
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Presents ||// / _ | || \\|| \__\ \\__
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W H O W I L L S T E A L T H E D E V I L ' S D E A L ?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
O C T O B E R 3 0 B O S T O N, M A
=================================================================
>RINGSIDE<
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen ... it's time, once again, for this week's
edition of STRAITE TALK!!! Your host: JERRRRRY STRAAAAAITE!!!
{The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones "Rascal King" and a hearty fan
reaction heralds Jerry down the aisle and into the ring.}
[Escobar]: Welcome back, people ... and we've got two
pieces of good news for you ... first, according to
this note, Colt's up and around in back, and appears
to be OK ... and second, we've got another edition
of Straite Talk, straight ahead ...
[Swayze]: So what's the good news?
[Straite]
{takes mic} Thank you, thank you!!! Yes, once again, The
Straite-man of the AWI is here, to share the wit and wisdom of
way too many years of experience with my favourite boys and
girls, the fans of the AWI!!!!
{The fans pop appropriately -- you know Straite's been in this
business for a while.}
[Straite]
Anyway, I just had to share a few thoughts of recent days...
First up: Jack Fury ... {brief bit of Alanis' "Perfect" plays
over the PA} Jack-o, what's the problem, kid? Parents push you
too hard? Needed to make you what they never were? I mean,
feelings of inadequacy like you got don't just generate
themselves ... there's usually some deep problem involved ...
that dark secret.
{unstraps the NA belt from around his waist} Or, maybe that dark
secret's just that you can't handle being a loser. {holds up the
belt} Hey, guess who I got this from, Jack? Oh, come on, you
remember ... it was that guy you last saw when you got knocked
unconcious just before your vacation. {puts the belt back on}
'scuze for a second.
[Swayze]: The old man's headed into daaaangerous territory
there -- any idiot can see that Jack Fury is NOT a stable
man ... he could blow his fuse at any moment, and that
belt's probably a red flag!
{back in place} Now, a lot of people seem interested in my boy
Steve the Insane's relationship with Angela Dante. My advice:
don't be interested. If you're interested, that probably means
you think Angela is Steve's weak spot. She isn't.
[Swayze]: Damn right about that -- she's a whole group
of weak spots, all with the same mailing address: "To
Steve, care of hurting Angela."
[Straite]
I mean, for starters, Dante could probably kick all your butts.
For seconders, people trying to rattle Steve tend to forget one
thing; he's already rattled. You think if he's upset he'll make
mistakes? HAH! To put Steve off his gameplan, he has to *have* a
gameplan. There's a *reason* people call him insane,
don'tchaknow?
[Marone]: Yeah! 'Cuz he hits people! Except ... hey,
everybody around here hits people? How does that make
him crazy?
[Escobar]: It was your theory, Mike--I'm afraid you'll
have to bang out the holes in it yourself.
[Swayze]: We'll wait. Go ahead and use the table ...
the theory's in your head, right?
[Straite]
Me, I happen to think that life is too wonderful a place, with
too many things to explore, to be looking at it from an ER.
'Cause that's where people who upset Steve tend to end up. If
they're lucky.
Colt Kawaii? Cute kid. Hope she survives the experience. Damn
shame about tonight, and I can't imagine that being stepped on
by Tori or Madeline would be too pleasant, either.
[Marone]: What?! Tori and Madeline were in on that too?
I'm -- I'm gonna do SOMETHING ... something really BAD!
I just gotta figure out what ... I can't believe they'd--
[Escobar]: Uh, Mike, he's just making contrasts.
Madeline Freechild? There's something vewy, vewy odd going on
here, boys and girls. Even odder than what Robbie accused Maddie
of. {pause} OK, maybe not that odd.
Finally, Robbie Stevens.
{crowd boos lustily on command}
[Swayze]: Hey, watch it, Jeriatric -- you don't have
talkin' rights on Robbie yet!
Robbie robbie robbie ... you know what, Stevens ... all of a
sudden, you and your little group there *means* something. North
American Tag champions, TV champion, focused attacks on people
who are threatening your group. I'm impressed. Mildly ill, but
impressed. You might have a future in this sport as something
other than a doormat. {pause} But not likely.
[Swayze]: You come over here and say that to Team
Stevens' face, old-timer! We'll knock your head off and
send it to Alaska ... postage due!
[Marone]: Figures. Big-time stable and they're too cheap
for stamps. That's sad, really sad.
Oh, and Nic Vorpal ... yeah, we know that the Northwest pilots
*really* went on strike just so that they wouldn't have to fly
you around anymore, but please, show up at one of these shows ...
there's just *so* much we have to talk about, son.
And in the meantime, and in-between time, that's it ... another
edition of Straite Talk is in the bag. So long for now ...
{Music blares back up as Jerry makes his way out.}
>ANNOUNCER'S TABLE<
[Escobar]
Strong words, as usual, from the North American champion ...
and speaking of strong words, let's go to the back, where
Chad Duncan has found another pair of opinionated superstars.
=================================================================
{Chad Duncan is standing in the locker room next to Rich
Greenspear and Sam Richards of the Honor Guard, who both sport
street clothes and serious expressions.}
[Duncan]
Gentlemen, last week I'm sure you heard Kerry Master's reaction
to what you said. Any comments?
[Sam]
Well, Chad, first off, I hope Kerry's feeling better. NO ONE
deserved what happened to him, and especially given that it was
at the hands of Steven's little crew, it makes it even worse. I
will say this ... we have, or, more specifically, Rich has some
problems with Kerry. We don't think he's changed all that much,
we don't think he's providing a good role model for children
out there, but I for one see what he's going through, the pain
he's having to take because of his new attitude. I applaud him
for that, and I can see how he's at least trying to clean up
some of the mess he helped create here in the AWI.
This is more for our benefit than Kerry's so it's a little ...
selfish, but if you need help, if you need back up against
Robbie's crew, Masters ... we will be there.
[Rich]
You still owe me a match, though.
[Sam]
The whole deal with that can be handled later. Now I know what
you're gonna say: that you don't need help, you don't need
anybody. I'm not saying you do. It's an open offer, from two
people that hate Robbie Stevens and anyone allied with him, to
another. We've been hurt by him and his cronies, both
physically and mentally. You're getting a taste of it, and we
are here to say that will will back you against him. This doesn't
solve our problems, but that's not important now. There's bigger
fish to fry.
Like I said, me and Rich both agree on this ... IF you want help,
we'll be there. If you don't, that's OK, too. The ball's in your
court, and we won't be upset either way you pick. We'll get our
hands on Stevens at some point.
[Rich]
You still owe me a match after this is over, Masters, und I vill
collect.
[Sam]
Rich ... we talked about this ... not now, not after what
happened last week.
[Rich]
... All right.
[Sam]
Nice to talk to ya, Chad.
=================================================================
{The camera zooms away from the locker-room scene, to reveal its
image on the video wall, as the St. Louis fans cheer the Honor
Guard loudly, before cutting to ringside.}
>RING<
[Rod Allen]
The next event is scheduled for one fall, with a 15-minute time
limit ... already in the ring ... from Jim Thorpe, PENNsylvania,
weighing 216 pounds ... the Wrestling Expert ... ED CARR!!
{The fans have reason enough tonight to cheer Ed wildly, and do.}
And his opponent ... from Germany, by way of the U.S. of A. ...
KARL ... VON EICHMANN!!!!!!!!!
{"Voice of America" by Sammy Hagar blares over the speakers,
as Karl climbs into the ring, and offers a handshake to Ed,
which Ed accepts. Karl and Ed lock up collar to elbow; Karl
gets the advantage, and twists Ed into a front facelock. He
breaks away after one press, then extends a hand; they shake
again.}
[Escobar]: We see here a clean start -- and maybe a little
good-natured ribbing -- between these two competitors ...
{They square off again, each making a couple false lunges; Karl
drops to one knee and pulls down Ed with a single-leg takedown.
Ed quickly recovers, bringing Karl to his level with a drop
toehold, then wraps Karl into a leglace. He reaches up to add a
hammerlock, but Karl breaks free and gets behind him, applying a
hammerlock of his own.}
[Escobar]: Ed Carr focussing his attack on Karl's leg ...
but Karl's well-schooled in this kind of technical approach,
and he finds a counter ...
[Swayze]: I'd like a counter -- the LUNCH counter. I'm gonna
be so bored by the time this is done, I think I'd rather
just knock off for snacks.
{Carr breaks out; Karl grabs him in a front facelock, lifts him
up to his feet, and swings it into a neckbreaker.}
[Marone]: Oh, good -- if you find it, could you bring me
back something?
[Escobar]: Another front facelock from Von Eichmann -- and
NO joke there, as he makes good on an impact followup!
[Swayze]: Uh ... sure, Mike. Just gimme a sawbuck or two
and I'll nab you whatever they've got down there.
{He rolls Carr facedown, then stands up and bounces off the ropes,
dropping an elbow; Ed rolls aside and Karl hits the mat. Ed moves
in to capitalize, but Karl cuts him short with a forearm uppercut,
then gets back to his feet; he scoops up Ed and bodyslams him.}
[Escobar]: Karl Von Eichmann takes a little self-inflicted
punishment there -- but he shrugs it off and plugs along,
keeping Ed off his feet!
[Marone]: Yeah! He's showing the same kind of hard-bitten,
never-say-die staying power we counted on the Germans for in
the Cold War, standing tall by the Wall ever vigilant to
protect the Western World from ... uh ...
{Karl waits for Ed to get up, then whips him into the ropes; he
bends over for a back drop, but Ed leapfrogs him, and rebounds
from the other side.}
[Swayze]: ... the other Germans.
[Marone]: Uh, right.
[Swayze]: THAT'S it, I'M outta here. {shuffling noises}
{Karl turns around and throws up a knee, but Ed snags his leg and
throws him to the mat. Carr locks on an inside toehold.}
[Escobar]: Don't worry, Mike -- it's the thought that counts.
[Marone]: Hey, I'm not worried -- he said he was gonna bring
me back something, right? And he's Team Stevens, so you know
it's the truth!
{Von Eichmann breaks out, and staggers up; Ed tries a go-behind
takedown, but Karl blocks it, then turns around and scoops up Ed
into a backbreaker. He drives a knee into Carr's back, then drags
him to his feet in a front facelock, pausing a moment before
DDTing him headfirst to the mat.}
[Marone]: And if he doesn't, I can just show him these moves.
[Escobar]: Uh ... you're going to run the instant replay?
[Marone]: No, I'm just going to show him those moves.
{Both men get to their feet; Karl picks up Ed and slams him back
down. Von Eichmann pulls Ed back up by one arm, then whips him to
the ropes, throwing him high over one shoulder on the rebound; Ed
gets up quickly, only to get felled again by a dropkick.}
[Escobar]: Karl Von Eichmann is showing us a surprisingly
well-rounded approach -- power, speed, stamina, and even
some of the "old school" style which Ed Carr himself
attests to so strongly ... a package like that could
quickly make a big splash here in the AWI.
{Karl closes on Ed as he's getting up; Ed pulls him down with a
legdrag, then stands up, keeping hold of the leg -- which he
swiftly spins into a figure-four.}
[Marone]: Oh, I don't think it would be THAT big ... he's
only about two hundred and fifty pounds. I mean, that's
nothing compared to a splash from a guy like Riverboat ...
[Escobar]: It was a fig--
[Marone]: And then there was always Megaton ... now THERE
was a BIG SPLASH. {*pause*} Two of them.
[Escobar]: Mike ...
[Marone]: But you know, I don't think the size of your
splash is all THAT important in this sport. Karl here's
got plenty of good stuff he can use instead, so I think
he'll go far.
[Escobar]: Mike, that's what I MEAN-- oh, forget it.
{Karl breaks out; Ed gets on his knees, and drives a forearm into
Karl's leg. Karl kicks him away, and the two return to their
feet. Ed knocks down Karl with a dropkick; Karl brings him down
with a drop toehold.}
[Swayze]: {shuffling noises} Hey, boys and girls -- Chad's
back, the party can start! I'm assuming out of hand, of
course, that I didn't miss anything with THOSE two losers
at work ...
[Escobar]: Oh, joy ...
{Von Eichmann gets up, and picks up Ed's legs to start a Boston
crab; Ed locks his legs around Karl and pushes him down while
twisting sideways, sitting up to leverage for a pin: 1 ... Karl
breaks out, and Ed slaps on a hammerlock.}
[Escobar]: Close call on Karl Von Eichmann -- he reacts
quickly to save himself from a surprise predicament!
{Both men get to their feet; Ed whips Karl towards the corner, but
Karl reverses the whip. He then rushes in to drive a knee into
Ed's gut.}
[Marone]: Hey, Chad, what's the deal? A kiddie drink and
a bag of peanuts? I gave you twenty bucks!
[Swayze]: Stadium prices, man -- these places'll kill ya!
[Marone]: Oh, right -- gotcha.
{Karl attempts to whip Ed to the other corner, but this time Ed
reverses it, and then hits Karl with a dropkick as he's staggering
back from the turnbuckle.}
[Escobar]: Karl Von Eichmann goes for two, but the Wrestling
Expert has a trump for that play!
[Marone]: So, how'd you get all THAT stuff?
{Ed climbs the corner, and jumps off, connecting with a back elbow;
he then takes a moment to rest.}
[Swayze]: Hey, man, membership has its privileges! My man
Robbie could score /caviar/ from the concession -- if any of
us felt like scarfing raw fish eggs instead of real food.
{Ed drops to one knee and slaps on a hammerlock.}
[Swayze]: As opposed to Mr. Carr here -- you sign up with
him, and you'll be lucky to eat one square a meal a day, after
paying his school fees -- you know, the ol' "don't forget the
'extra charges' like heat and showers" system ... most of the
Academy staff are indentured servants paying off THEIR tuition
from last year ...
{Ed adds a crossface grip.}
[Escobar]: Chad, that's *ridiculous* ... I think it's
painfully obvious that your description is just a *little*
tainted by your mentor's current inexplicable animosity to HIS
mentor ...
{Karl breaks free; Ed drags him up in a front facelock, but Karl
swings it into a neckbreaker.}
[Swayze]: Sure, believe what you want, Justino -- but *I*
know the truth ... I've seen it, bay-bee -- up close and in
your face, where you can't deny it!
{Both men stagger to their feet; Karl grabs Ed, picking him up to
slam him back to the mat. Ed rolls to one knee, and fells Karl
with a single-leg takedown as he's closing in. He applies a front
facelock.}
[Swayze]: Don't believe the hype, people -- those videos he
films for our shows in the "Academy"? BUNKO, baby! Faked from
top to bottom! Phonier than Pamela Anderson's chest!
{He reaches across Karl's back, wrapping him into a reverse
toehold with his free arm; after holding this for a moment, he
rolls to one side, inverting Karl.}
[Escobar]: Chad, this is NOT--
[Swayze]: If you knew what Team Stevens knows, bay-bee,
you'd get yourself a torch and go MOB that heap! Ed Carr's
Wrestling Academy makes "Oliver!" look like prep school!
The toughest sparring partners are the roaches that live in
the kitchenette!
{Karl breaks out, and drops to the mat. He smacks Ed with a
forearm uppercut. Both men get up; Karl does a go-behind and
attempts a belly-to-back suplex, but Ed blocks, moves around
Karl, and drops him with a go-behind takedown.}
[Escobar]: You know, this is very close to libel--
[Swayze]: Students pay a "fire tax" on their tuition --
that covers the bribes to the fire marshall to avoid being
condemned!
{Standing up, he grabs one of Karl's legs, and leaps forward into
a hamstring stretch; he then slaps on a headlock. Standing up, he
pulls Karl into the corner; Karl breaks the hold with a forearm
uppercut, then wraps Ed into an abdominal stretch.}
[Swayze]: And that's just the beginning! He--
[Marone]: Oh, no, Chad! Your mouth is leaking! You're losing
precious air!
[Swayze]: --what? I-- {*scuffle*} mmphgh!
[Escobar]: {*sigh*} Thanks, Mike.
{Ed breaks free, and pulls Karl into a small package rollup: 1
... Karl kicks out. Ed grabs him with a front facelock, drags
him into the corner, and sets him on the top rope; he climbs up
after him, only to be knocked down by a forearm smash.}
[Escobar]: Ed Carr prepares for a major attack ... but
Karl Von Eichmann turns the tables! That could cost Ed
dearly in the long run.
[Swayze]: {sudden gasp, followed by deep breaths} GEEZ,
you thug ...
[Marone]: Hey, it was an emergency, I hadda do it. Right,
Justin?
[Escobar]: Uh, yes -- {very deliberated} I'm sure any
doctor in my seat would condone your action, Mike.
{Karl hops down, bounces off the ropes, and dropkicks Ed as he's
standing up; getting up, he rushes to the opposite ropes, and
rebounds to jump into a sitdown splash.}
[Marone]: HEY! I guess you were RIGHT, Justin -- he DOES
have a pretty nice splash!
[Escobar]: Uh, yes. Thank you.
{Karl slides back Ed's arms for a camel-clutch, but Ed rolls to
one side and bridges his legs for a pinfall: 1 ... Karl twists
free.}
[Escobar]: Karl Von Eichmann looks to be ready to apply
the Iron Kros-- no, wait! Ed Carr has him down! Karl kicks
free -- but it goes to show you can never count out the
Wrestling Expert!
[Marone]: Well, not unless you keep him outside the ring
for 20 seconds.
{Ed gets the jump on him, and wraps him into a leglace. He
attempts to add a crossface grip, but Karl hits him in the head
with a forearm. Ed recovers, and locks Karl into a hammerlock.}
[Escobar]: Ed Carr is looking to try his own hand at the
big submission lock -- but Karl Von Eichmann won't let him
keep a grip ...
{Ed twists Karl to add a leglace. After holding this for a few
seconds, he takes Karl's other arm, and cinches it into a double
chickenwing.}
[Escobar]: There -- he's got this hold locked on good! I'm
not sure Karl Von Eichmann will be able to escape ... he's
certainly trying hard, though ...
[Marone]: {intoning deeply} Confucius say, 'Do, or do not.
There is no try.'
[Swayze]: That was YODA, from STAR WARS, you fuzzhead!
[Marone]: No, *Yoda* said it like this: {*'Grover' voice*}
'Do, or do not. There is no try.'
[Escobar]: Karl's face is definitely showing the strain --
he's nodding to the referee! Karl Von Eichmann finally
submits! The referee signals for the bell, and that's
going to be a "W" for the Wrestling Expert!
[Swayze]: I think the entire Fatherland must be dunking
themselves in the Rhine to hide from the shame of how
soft Karlie turned out to be!
[Marone]: Hey, you can't blame him for losing one
match -- 'specially with all them twists and turns,
some in the same hold.
[Escobar]: Carr seems to agree with you, Mike -- he's
helped von Eichmann up, and the two shake hands one
more time ... and Ed raises Karl's hand to share the
victory! What a show of competition AND sportsmanship
from these two!
[Swayze]: Here, Mike -- take the pizza slice. I've
lost my appetite all of a sudden.
[Marone]: Pizza? For me? That's the first thing you've
said tonight that makes sense!
=================================================================
{The screen cuts to an image of a pair of crash-test dummies
fitted with tights in a mock-wrestling ring; they are driven
together by motorized pistons, colliding in the center of the
ring with a CGI explosion that fades to reveal the "GM" logo in
the background, with the words "General Motors CRASH TEST!"
superimposed over it ... it then splits apart, opening like
doors to show slow motion footage of:}
[Escobar]: Tonight's General Motors Crash Test features
the rising star Karl von Eichmann, dropping the hammer
on the Wrestling Expert Ed Carr with this running
vertical splash ...
{The scene changes to the double-hammerlock leglace at the
end of the match ...}
[Escobar]: ... but but even moves like that can't
keep Ed Carr from walking away with the victory ...
Talk about impact! Talk about tension! You're talking
about the General Motors Crash Test for this week! And
the kind folks at General Motors would like to remind
everyone that seatbelts save lives, so buckle up! Let's
take a break for these messages ...
=================================================================
WHEN WE RETURN: Who Will Fury Fight???
COMMERCIAL BREAK: "Possibly the greatest game ever made"--Final
Fantasy VII, for your Sony Playstation system ... new ball, $9,
newballnewballnewballnewball--OK, what we're saying is that two
guys are out $594 each, and that's priceless ... Got athlete's
foot? Get tough-actin' Tinactin ...
=================================================================
>>SNIPER'S NEST<<
{Chad Duncan is once again in the AWI Sniper's Nest, looking
decidedly unhappy ...}
[Escobar]: Poor Chad.
[Swayze]: Hey, thanks for the support! I /do/ need a
raise, after all.
[Escobar]: I /meant/ Chad DUNCAN.
[Swayze]: He doesn't need a raise! He's got the privilege
of interviewing The New Jersey Ninja himself!
[Marone]: How much does that work out to in food stamps?
[Chad]
Joining me at this time, the AWI TV Champion Robbie Stevens and
one half of the AWI North American Tag Team Champions, "Tank"
Bradley ...
{The crowd boos as Robbie Stevens runs out the back wearing the
TV belt and holding the NA Tag belts. He's wearing an airbrushed
shirt with Kerry Masters' head severed off his body on the front
and "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KERRY!" on the back. Tank walks down
wearing his ring gear.}
[Swayze]: STE-VENS! STE-VENS! GOOOO TEAM!!
[Escobar]: Please, at least try to control yourself.
[Marone]: Hey! Where'd that pizza slice go?
[Swayze]: STE--oh, well, I got my appetite back.
[Robbie]
Before I let the big man speak ... I would like to point out
that once again, I have outsmarted you, Ed! You may have cost me
the match against Justice ... but Ed, the belt's still here and
once again, you were dropped on that big fat head of yours! So
looking at the score board, it's Team Stevens 2, Ed Carr ...
ZIPPO! Ed, you are dealing with superior intellect here. In fact,
I will give a demonstration of how intelligent I am ... Chad-du,
hold these please ...
{He hands Chad the tag belts and pulls a Rubik's Cube from out
of his pocket.}
Be amazed by the speed at which I solve this puzzle as the big
man, tells you like it is ...
{Robbie starts moving the cube around in an attempt to solve it
as Chad turns to Bradley.}
[Chad]
Now Tank, the question I'm sure is on everyone's mind: just why
did you attack Kerry Masters last week?
[Tank]
That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Well the reason is
simple ... BECAUSE I COULD! Masters, I never liked you. "Good
Guy", "Bad Guy", there's one constant with you ... you talk *WAY*
too much. And I think you know how I feel about guys who talk way
too much ...
{Chad glances over at Robbie who stops playing with the cube
long enough to make the zipping his lips, locking them and
throwing away the key motion with his hands.}
[Tank]
Masters, you talk a good game, but you have yet to back it up.
I've been here for a long time and been busting up everyone who
gets in my way. I'm sick of you and your big fat mouth. You want
to sign a match against the World Champ and then take me on the
very next week? Hey, it's your funeral ... and that powerbomb was
just a sample of what you're in store for this week. Kerry, I'm
going to finish what I started last week, I'm going to leave you
a broken man tonight. You can't do a 20 minute interview when
you've got a tube down your throat keeping you alive. And that's
what you have to look forward to.
{Tank grabs the belts from Chad and leaves. Robbie continues to
play with the cube.}
[Robbie]
I'll have to get back to you with this, but I'm a busy man come
up with strategys and stuff ... but trust me, you will be amazed
when I finish this thing ...
{Robbie leaves the ring too, still working on the cube.}
[Swayze]: We ... have been in the presence ... of
greatness. Feels awesome, doesn't it?
[Marone]: Wow. Greatness feels just like I did 10 minutes
ago. Is it always this subtle?
[Escobar]: As entertaining as it would be, I'm afraid I
can't let Chad answer that -- or try to -- because we've
got our next match coming up ...
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, our next bout is set for one fall, with a
time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first ... weighing in
at 265 pounds ... he is a former NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT
CHAMPION ... from Indianapolis, Indiana ...
{The boos begin even before "Here Comes Trouble" by Bad Company
starts up ...}
JAAAAAAACK FURY!!!!!!
And his opponent, accepting an OPEN CHALLENGE from Mr. Fury ...
{Allen pauses in his notes, and the video wall flares to
life ...}
=================================================================
{Fade into shot of "War Machine" Greg Gardner standing in front
of a CGI background (a "blueprint" of himself, with the words
"War Machine" riveted in iron across it).}
[Greg Gardner]
It's funny ... Jack Fury, two weeks ago I was hoping for the
chance to talk things out with you, to smooth over whatever
wrong you thought I'd done you ... and now here we are, just
half a month down the road -- and I'm *sick* of hearing you talk.
Because, when you open your yap now, it doesn't sound like a
two-time North American champion speaking ... it sounds like a
pitiful little dog, yipping at anything that passes by its yard
like it was going to DO something.
You get in my face, use my matches to spout your nonsense -- I
might have been able to deal with that. But you just had to go
one step further, Jack -- you had to call me a coward to my
face. YOU opened the door, Jack -- now you have to face what's
on the other side ...
=================================================================
>>RINGSIDE<<
He stands weighing in at three hundred and ninety pounds ... from
the city of Olympia, Washington ... the IRON MAN of the AWI ...
the "WAR MACHINE" GREEEG GAAARRRDNEEERRR!!!
{The fans cheer heavily as the "War Pigs" cover by Faith No More
fills the arena, and Greg Gardner stalks down to ringside. He
gets about halfway down the aisle when Jack hops out of the ring
and grabs a microphone.}
[Jack Fury]
You have to be kidding me! I'm not going to wrestle THAT guy in
this bingo hall of an arena on FREE TV!!! Any match I sign is
PAY-PER-VIEW caliber, but to have to carry that fat slug through
a match isn't worth my time unless AWI wants to make it worth my
time. I know I signed an open challenge, but I want Chamberlain
to come out here with a million dollar advance RIGHT NOW or I'm
not wrestling!!!!!
[Swayze]: Go tell it to the man, Jack! This is what it means
to live in a labor-empowered nation, bay-bee!
[Escobar]: What? You have GOT to be kidding -- this is pure
cowardice, AND hypocrisy! He practically DARED the War
Machine to sign this match, and now he wants to extort the
Commissioner as an excuse to chicken out?
[Swayze]: {chanting} UN-ION! UN-ION!
{Gardner practically charges the rest of the way, managing to
catch Fury off-guard with the sudden rush, and clotheslining
him.}
[Escobar]: And Gardner isn't letting the matter be put up
for discussion! He came armed and loaded for bear tonight,
and he's NOT letting Fury get away without a fight!
[Swayze]: He can't do this! Jack Fury is a free man! He
has rights! The State can't oppress the workers like
this!
{Gardner drops a pair of forearms into Fury, then hoists him up
in the air for a northern-lights suplex, flips him around in
mid-air, and brings him crashing back forward in a powerbomb,
bringing an audible "KA-BOOM!" chant from the first row ..}
[Escobar]: UNBELIEVABLE powerbomb on the outside of the
ring!
[Marone]: I think my chair shook. Come to think of it,
I think my planet shook.
{Gardner goes to roll Fury into the ring, but Fury grabs onto
the ropes to stop himself, then takes Gardner's legs out from
under him with a swinging kick ... he then reaches under the
ring and pulls out a large piece of metal structure, and
bashes the big man broadsides with it ...}
[Escobar]: Looks like this match could finally get under
way for real--NO, Fury managing to slip away ... wait
a minute--he's digging under the ring apron! And it
looks like he's managed to find something -- OHH -- he
bashes the War Machine with a piece of leftover ring
support!
[Swayze]: Which just goes to show, leave no stone
unturned in the search for justice!
[Marone]: He's not going to have to look for Justice
if he keeps that up--Justice'll be out here to kick
his tail!
{Fury keeps up the attack, driving the metal piece into
Gardner's legs, then clotheslining the hobbling giant ...
he then drags the ringside steps over to Gardner.}
[Escobar]: Fury going to work on the War Machine,
and it looks like he's going to do with steel what
he couldn't do with flesh a few weeks before --
permanently injure one of Gardner's limbs! Hey--
he's got the steps -- he's going to drop the STEPS
ON GARDNER'S LEGS ... and HERE COMES LOOKING FOR
A FIGHT, and Justice right behind! Fury slips out
into the crowd ...
[Swayze]: Can you believe that? We were finally
going to get our money's worth, and they had to go
and ruin it ... if I was a St. Louis fan here tonight,
I'd riot.
[Marone]: But we didn't pay to get in.
[Swayze]: Don't split hairs.
[Escobar]: Justice helping the big man back to the
locker room area, while Joe's following, and
Steve ... Steve is, uh ... coming this way? And
here comes Joe behind him, too.
{Steve the Insane and Joe Walker come plodding back;
dressed in civvies; they turn towards the press table.}
>>PRESS TABLE<<
[Escobar]
It would appear that Looking For A Fight is ... looking for US.
{He pauses as the pair come on camera}. I'm assuming you two
have words for our viewers tonight ... what's on your mind,
Steve, Joe?
{The audience stalls the oncoming flood of words as best they
can with wild cheers ...}
[Steve the Insane]
{picks up a mike} Boy, everyone always wants to get to the point
right away. If there's one thing I've proven in my career, it's
that there isn't always a point to things.
[Swayze]
Great. That explains your careers.
{Joe drops what he's carrying on the table in front of Mike
with a subtle nod; the camera zooms in momentarily to reveal
a bucket of fried chicken, which Marone happily tears
into ...}
[Steve]
In this case, though, there is. See, after Perfection's little
comments, everyone figured they'd be dead and buried. I mean,
sure, Joe and I can be a little violent, slightly temperamental, occasionally off the deep end ... but c'mon, we're nice guys.
Do we look like the type of people who would immediately jump
into action and beat other people within an inch of their
miserable lives just because of a couple innuendos?
[Swayze]
I see -- this is some kind of trick question, right? Or just a
Freudian slip?
[Joe]
{to Chad} As if life wasn't short enough.
[Steve]
{shakes head} Nah, we're not like that.
[Joe]
Entirely.
[Swayze]
Yeah, their toenail clippings are pretty peaceful.
[Marone]
Sshh. {lowered voice} Man, this is good stuff.
[Steve]
Perfection, you've got a month to get your affairs in order.
See, Joe and I have a little bit of stuff to take care of in the
meantime. Weasle and I, for example -- weird kid, but he hit me
with a bat. Again. Weasle, tell ya what -- let's have a one on
one match. You can bring Louie. I'll bring George.
[Escobar]
George ...?
[Chad]
{snort} That'd be his sister, I'm guessing.
[Joe]
Sshh -- don't spoil the mystery, Justin. {grins} And while we're
on the subject of "wierd kids" ... there's this new face in town,
name of Dominic Nightshade. Weasle thinks he's in Little League
every day -- Dominic thinks it's trick or treat time. Only, he's
been visiting the SAME DAMN door every week, and you know, I
think one trick on Paul Stone -- PERIOD -- is enough. You like
scaring people, huh, "Scarecrow"? Well, I got me a contract with
your X on it for next week, and when we step into the ring, the
trick's on you: you might scare crows -- but you don't scare JOE!
[Marone]
{whisper heard on mic} Why would she be named George? Is that
like short for Georgia? Or Georgina?
[Joe]
But frankly, even Ray Bolger there pales on the blather chart
compared to Kim and Jill. Herfection, you keep going on about how
you're the best at everything you do. I MIGHT want to point out
how your "best" wasn't good enough to squeeze a win out from
Steve and I's 9-to-5 ... but given that the ONLY thing you seem
to do is make excuses, I guess that just makes sense. So it's
only the fair thing to do to give you at least a month to learn
how to FIGHT.
[Swayze]
Or for Angela to learn how to say 'no'.
[Steve]
Perfection, finalize your wills, sublet your apartments, kissed
your loved ones goodbye, 'cause in a month - oh are you two gonna
be sorry. Like I said before, I'm a nice guy, but there's a few
things I don't have a sense of humor about. You've been running
your mouth on one of those topics. I dunno if you're trying to
make me flip out or not, but if you are ... well, I've been told
I can't play with fire anymore, so I guess you'll have to settle
for merely the broken bones.
[Swayze]
You broke Angie's bones? Jeez, go easy on the lovin' there,
pal ... maybe let her lead next time ...
[Steve]
Hey, Chad?
[Swayze]
What--AIIIIGHGRFFG---{thump}
{The fans' roar drowns out Swayze's yelps, as Steve pulls him
out of his seat and slams him across the safety railing ...}
[Escobar]
MADRE DIOS! Chad's mouth went one step too far, I think, and
Steve's making him pay with interest!
{Interest here consisting of a series of axhandles to the back
from both Steve and Joe, then Steve hoisting Chad on his back
for a Canadian backbreaker ... Chad reaches feebly towards
Justin and Mike ...}
[Swayze]
Hel--hel-me--
[Marone]
Hold on there!
{Mike reaches up past Chad's outstretched arm, and carefully
reels in the headset and cord off Swayze's head, right before
Steve charges into the turnbuckle to slam Chad into it ...}
>RINGSIDE<
[Swayze]
NOoooooasiigiih--
[Marone]: Whew! That was close! These things are pretty
expensive, you know.
[Escobar]: {trying to keep from laughing} Y-yeah, I,
uh, I know that.
{Chad scrambles into the ring for protection, but instead
just finds Joe waiting for him with two kicks to the chin
and a discus punch, which sends him right into the Frontal
Lobotomy from Steve behind him ... they then drag Chad to
the top ...}
[Escobar]: This is incredible ... Looking For A Fight
is just DISINTEGRATING Chad Swayze as we speak!
[Marone]: As you speak -- as I eat ... you want a
piece?
[Escobar]: I'm a little busy ... Steve and Joe have Chad
up at the top of the turnbuckle now, and it could be the
Yappian Bulldog -- hold on -- oh no -- they're going to
do the Super Yappian Bulldog to the OUTSIDE! Wait a
minute ...
{Angela Dante comes into the camera view, having made her
way to ringside ... she appears to be "talking Steve" down ...
reluctantly, after several moments, he shrugs and dumps
Chad back into the ring in the hands of Joe.}
[Escobar]: Dante apparently thinks chivalry only goes
so far, and that length is not from the ropes to the
floor ... and Steve seems happy with the damage done--
HOLY--
{After several moments, Joe shrugs and nails a tilt-a-whirl
inverted atomic drop. Chad staggers around the ring, then tumbles
through the ropes to lie flat and motionless outside the ring
area.}
[Escobar]: What a parting shot by Joe! Chad completely
disoriented--LOOK OUT CHAD--
[Marone]: You know, I can't decide which chicken I like
better? This, or the one that just fell out of the ring.
[Escobar]: Chad's a pancake right now, which may make it
tough to continue here ... we'll take a break, and be back
after this ...
=================================================================
{The scene fades in on grainy, black & white footage of an
Olympic style amateur wrestling match -- no real action, just a
pair of guys locked in stasis on the mat.}
Wrestling.
{The scene cuts to footage of Joe Walker picking up Kim "Tiger"
Lee, spinning him around in a tilt-a-whirl inverted atomic drop,
then footage of Joe hitting Doug Abercrombie and Weasle
alternately with a gasoline can.}
Wrestling Joe.
{More grainy, black-and-white footage, this time of a vintage
era baseball game, an aerial shot of a somewhat out of shape
guy sending a grounder past the mound and jogging towards first.}
Baseball.
{Cut to scenes of Joe Walker and Steve the Insane, dressed in
baseball jersies, storming a ring with Doug Abercrombie and
Weasle (carrying his bat).}
Baseball Joe.
{Cut to picture of rolling mountain streams, like from
stereotypical beer commercials.}
Water.
{Scene cuts to an exhausted Joe Walker in the locker room,
popping the cap off a blue-labeled bottle and chugging it down
in a long gulp. He sighs in obvious refreshment, and thrusts
the bottle towards the camera, revealing the label.}
WATER JOE
[Voiceover]: Water Joe is the ONLY 100% pure artesian
spring water with the caffeine kick of one full cup
a'joe ... or Joe! No artificial flavors or colors,
bottled at its source in Wisconsin ... go Water Joe!
=================================================================
>RINGSIDE<
{The camera zooms in on the still-motionless form of Chad
Swayze ...}
[Escobar]: It looks like "Roadhouse" is going to need
a little more time to re-open ... I'm actually a little
surprised the paramedics haven't shown up.
[Marone]: They're probably eating the rest of his pizza.
[Escobar]: Well, he needs more time, and we have more
commercials, so ...
=================================================================
WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: The Main Event!
COMMERCIAL BREAK: RUSH HOUR -- what's not to like about a Jackie
Chan movie that gets two thumbs up? ... Chili's burgers--
monuments of inefficiency ...
=================================================================
{"Misirlou" by Dick Dale and the Del-Tones kicks on over the
speakers. Melissa Wright bursts through the curtain in full ring
attire to the whistles and hoots from the males in the crowd. She
glides to the ringside area, grabs a mike and enters the ring.}
[Melissa Wright]
I bet you guys would like to see what I've got under this
jacket!!!
{This summons both more whistles mixed with boos.}
{shuffling noise} {loud thump}
[Swayze]: {a little woozy} Mmm ... now this is what I need
for a pick-me-up ... {muttering} bigshot losers think they
run the place ...
[Melissa Wright]
Hmph ... well, maybe later. This is a shout-out to my sister
Miranda, who chose to ruin the career of D.A. Bookthrower and
their marriage because she just couldn't satisfy the poor man ...
{The boos get louder at the mention of D.A.}
Well, sis, I know you would be too afraid to break a nail to step
into the ring with me, but I know that we each manage a guy who
hates the other one so bad they can taste it. And I know you'd
like a chance to try and kick my perfectly-shaped booty, so we're
issuing a challenge to you for you to answer next week on Line of
Fire ... we're challenging you to a mixed tag-team match. D.A.
and me versus you and Danny Punk McGirl. If you guys think you
can handle the heat ... {She snaps open jacket and shrugs it off
to reveal a scanty green bikini top with dollar signs on the
cups.} ... come into our kitchen ... {giggles}
("Misirlou" starts up again while she parades around the ring, to
the delight of the male fans (or at least a portion therof).
Eventually, she's satisfied with the spectacle she's made, and
slides out of the ring.}
>>PRESS TABLE<<
[Escobar]
{looking disgusted} What an incredible waste of--
[Swayze]
Hey, bay-bee, why stop at the waist? EVERYTHING's incredible on
that body!
[Escobar]
{exasperated sigh} Anyways, now that our ring is clear ... we can
bring you the main event ...
>>RINGSIDE<<
[Rod Allen]
Ladies and gentlemen, our final bout for tonight is set for one
fall, with television time remaining ... introducing first, from
the city of Camden, New Jersey, weighing in at three-hundred and
sixty-four pounds ... accompanied to the ring tonight by his
manager, Robbie Stevens, he is one half of the North American
Tag Team champions ... SCOTT ... "TANK" ... BRADLEY!!!
{"Peace Sells" by Megadeth blares over the speakers, as Tank and
Robbie make their way to ringside; if anything, Tank looks even
more grim and sour than usual.}
[Allen]
And his opponent tonight ... weighing in at two-hundred and twenty
one pounds ... from the city of Orlando, Florida -- "The Awesome
One" ... KERRY MASTERS!!!
{"Gett Off" by Prince wails through the arena, as Kerry foots it
down the aisle, taking his own sweet time to mooch with the fans.}
[Allen]
Your referee for this match is Tom Newman.
{The bell rings, and Masters gets behind Tank and locks him into
an armbar. Tank drives him away with a kick to the legs, then
slams his forearm a couple of times into Kerry's back, before
whipping him into the ropes. Masters surprises him with a
dropkick, knocking him down; he stands up and stomps on Tank's
leg, then bounces off the rope behind him to build momentum for
a somersault legdrop across Tank's knee.}
[Escobar]: Kerry alternating between arm and leg --
apparently looking to find any opening possible.
[Swayze]: He can look all he wants -- they don't call him
"Tank" because he has an overabundance of vulnerabilities!
{He slaps on an armbar, and uses it to leverage Tank back to his
feet, then twists around to the front, grabbing Tank's head and
dropping him with a single-arm DDT.}
[Escobar]: He may not be finding any vulnerabilities -- but
he certainly has had no problems maintaining an offensive
... High impact maneuver from the Awesome One!
[Swayze]: Save your adjectives until Tank gets going,
Escobo, or you're going to have to rescale ...
{Kerry tries to pick up Bradley, but Tank cuts him short with a
headbutt. He turns Kerry around, and bends down to drive another
headbutt into the small of his back. He stands up and tries to
headlock Kerry, but Kerry blocks him with knee and slaps on a
headlock of his own.}
[Escobar]: Maybe it's just as well, since Masters himself
prefers just one--
{He then twists around to put Tank's head over his shoulder, and
diamond cutters him.}
[Escobar]: ... AWESOME!
[Swayze]: Admit it -- he's paying you to say that.
{Kerry picks up Tank and whips him to the ropes; Tank gets the
jump on him off the rebound, nailing him with a clothesline that
sends him spinning.}
[Marone]: TANK, man, TANK!
[Swayze]: Huh?
[Marone]: Hey, I could always use the extra dough.
{Tank pulls Kerry to his feet; Kerry manages a standing dropkick
to knock Tank down. He then locks on a toehold.}
[Escobar]: Masters seems to be reasoning that the best way
to deal with this Tank is to clip its treads ...
[Swayze]: Yeah, like Tank NEEDS both legs to throw the Nail
in the Coffin ...
{Tank manages to push Kerry off; Kerry rushes into the ropes as
he's staggering back up, and drops Tank with a leg lariat. He
gets up and climbs the turnbuckle as Tank stands, leaping off to
cut him down with a flying dropkick.}
[Escobar]: Maybe not, Chad -- but he DOES need an opening,
and Kerry Masters is NOT giving him one! A SOARING aerial
attack takes down the big man!
{Tank hits Kerry with a low blow to break his momentum, then
shoves him under the ropes to hit the floor. Climbing outside the
ring himself, he scoops up Kerry and bodyslams him on the floor.}
[Swayze]: All RIGHT! Alone with Tank Bradley outside in no
man's land, no friends in sight, no help forthcoming, and no
rules to stop the pain -- BOOM, bay-bee! Right now, believe
you me, Kerry is the Epitome of What NOBODY Wants To Be ...
{He grabs Kerry by the hair, and drags him out to the aisle, then
scoops him up for another bodyslam onto the bare concrete. He
drags Kerry up by one arm, then whips him into the railing.}
[Swayze]: Let me tell you, this is sure how I'D pay to see
Kerry.
{Tank hops back inside the ring to break the referee's count;
Robbie uses a towel to "shine" Kerry's head.}
[Escobar]: Now THIS is just adding insult to injury ...
[Swayze]: And?
{Tank rolls back outside, and hoists Kerry up for a slam; Kerry
hops over his shoulder to land on his feet behind him, then locks
him up to send him crashing down with a side russian legsweep.}
[Swayze]: Face it, Escobo, Kerry Masters is-- what?!?
[Marone]: I think the word you want is, "BOOM!"
{Kerry half crawls, half staggers back to the ring, resting up
as Tank recovers.}
[Swayze]: {mumbling} outside the ring ... no man's land ...
no friends ... no help ... {aloud} Ok, what did I miss?
WHERE DID HE CHEAT HIS WAY OUT OF THAT?
[Marone]: Hey, you keep saying this match was suicide --
maybe he just cheated death!
{Tank climbs his way back into the ring; Masters whips him to
the ropes when he's in, and turns around, jumping backwards to
fell him with a standing moonsault bodypress: 1 ... Tank breaks.}
[Escobar]: Masters doing his best to press the advantage --
there's the EPITOME PRESS! And-- no, Tank's up.
{Masters rolls Tank over, and cinches on an armbar with arm
scissors.}
[Escobar]: Kerry wastes no time, as he subjects Tank
Bradley to his 'Masterlock' ...
[Swayze]: Oh, man, you just gotta sound out the names
here -- one's a twenty ton piece of devastating military
equipment, the other's a padlock. Which do YOU think is
going to last longer?
[Escobar]: That's a ... novel analytical tool ...
[Marone]: I guess it WOULD explain why the Cubs lose so
much ... so why don't the Bears win?
[Swayze]: Graft.
{Tank breaks, and catches Kerry in a chokehold before Masters can
react. The referee counts him to "4"; Tank breaks the choke, then
immediately reapplies it.}
[Escobar]: Now THIS is just thumbing his nose at the
rulebook ...
[Swayze]: No, I'd say THIS is just squeezing the life out of
Kerry -- the rulebook doesn't say anything about letting
scrawny, mouthy, pandering wimps leave the ring still
breathing!
[Marone]: It's in there -- you gotta read between the lines.
{This time, he stands up while holding Kerry; when he reaches his
feet, he 'breaks' the chokehold by chokeslamming Masters.}
[Escobar]: CASTIGO! I hate to add to the hyperbole that Chad
has been building -- but even I have to say, one too many
moves like that can end /careers/!
{He pulls Kerry up by one arm, and whips him hard into the
turnbuckle; he closes in, but Kerry wards him off with a shot
below the belt. He whips Tank into the ropes, and bounces off the
other side; Tank ducks, Masters leapfrogs him, and the two
rebound off the opposite ropes. Kerry meets Tank this time with a
hurricarana.}
[Escobar]: BIG takedown by the Awesome One! Kerry Masters
has taken some hard hits so far, but he still can run rings
around Tank when the chips are down ...
{Kerry gets to his feet, and attempts to wrap Tank into a
scorpion, but Bradley kicks him away. Bradley stands up, and
throws a forearm shot at Kerry; Kerry ducks aside, and twists the
arm into an armbar, which he presses a couple times before
grabbing the head for a single-arm DDT. He then rolls into a
wakigatme armbar.}
[Swayze]: I gotta give him credit, Kerry's got guts.
[Escobar]: Seriously?
[Swayze]: Yeah, working the arm like that? I know *I*
wouldn't spend that much time messing around with the Camden
Cannon -- it's likely to go off!
{Tank breaks free, and Kerry stands up; as Tank gets up, Kerry
whips him into the ropes. As he returns, though, Tank scoops up
Kerry and spins him into a spinebuster slam. He pulls Kerry to
his knees, then lifts him onto one shoulder for a Canadian
backbreaker.}
[Swayze]: Shhh ... if you listen VERY closely, you can
actually hear Kerry's vertebrae being ground into powder ...
[Escobar]: *Please*, Chad, give it a rest ...
[Swayze]: Hey, I'm trying to be, you know, educational-like!
For the kids and stuff!
[Escobar]: Chad, I'd be hard pressed to think of something
more disturbing than children learning ANYTHING from YOU.
[Swayze]: Try this--Felony Slade ... in a thong.
[Marone]: WHOA ... he's right, Justin. I'm SERIOUSLY
disturbed now.
[Swayze]: Just remember, muchacho, you said it.
{Kerry manages to slip free, and Tank rewards him with another
forearm shot to the back. Tank pushes him into a corner, but Kerry
counters with a kick to the groin, and then knocks him down with a
savate kick. Kerry climbs the turnbuckle and jumps off as Tank
stands back up, but Tank ducks the flying dropkick. Bradley scoops
him up and delivers a running powerslam.}
[Escobar]: What IMPACT! You could just about feel the earth
shake with that slam -- and this could be it for Masters! One
... two ... thr-- no! He's up!
{Bradley pulls Kerry up and attempts to reapply the Canadian
backbreaker, but Kerry twists out of the clutch and snaps Tank
down with a neckbreaker. He attempts the scorpion leglock again,
but Tank again kicks him away.}
[Swayze]: HA! You know, if he was a REAL master, he'd figure
out THAT AIN'T GONNA WORK!
{Tank stands up, and grabs Kerry in a bear hug; he presses the
hold for a few long moments, then snaps it into a belly-to-belly
suplex. Getting to his feet, Tank drags Kerry up and attempts to
whip him into the corner; Kerry reverses the whip and sends
Bradley into the ropes, meeting him on the return with a savate
kick.}
[Escobar]: Bigtime reversal from Kerry Masters ...
{He then applies a standing figure four leglock.}
[Escobar]: ... and now he's cinched a leglock on Tank -- and
Tank's got nowhere to go! He's reaching for the ropes,
trying to drag himself further ... Robbie's egging him on,
but with there in plain view of the referee he can't cut in
... and Tank Bradley taps out! Tank Bradley has thrown in
the towel!
[Swayze]: WHAT?? Th-that's not possible! Th-you made a
mistake, Justino--tell the people you made a mistake!
{As Kerry breaks the hold, staggering back, he gets nailed in
the back with a steel chair by Joey Hasegawa, who practically
materializes out of thin air ... he's quickly followed by
Robbie, who helps him start a two-on-one stompfest as Tank
drags himself to his feet and joins in to make three ...}
[Escobar]: I did NOT make a mistake, Chad, and you can
see the ref calling for the bell ... Kerry's the--NOT
AGAIN! Toshiaki from out of NOWHERE with that chair,
and now he's going to work on Kerry's legs almost as
if in retaliation for his partner!
[Swayze]: YESYESYES! I KNEW IT! One piddling tap-out,
and Kerry NEVER WALKS AGAIN! Even-up trade! Boss-man,
you're a genius! I'll never doubt you again!
[Marone]: I'm having problems seeing the ring with
all that B.S. you're piling up ...
[Escobar]: Tank now upright, and HE joins in the fray
as well ... Kerry is practically a rag-doll at this
point ...
{Tank helps Joey lift Kerry up, which allows Joey to snap
Kerry's leg over his shoulder back-breaker style ... he
then drops a corkscrew elbow into the knee ...}
[Swayze]: I love autumn ... the leaves falling off
the trees, the rain falling from the sky, the legs
falling off Kerry's body ...
[Escobar]: Doesn't ANYBODY in your little gang have
ANY decency? This is abominable -- WAIT! HERE COMES
JUSTICE! AND HE'S GOT THE HONOR GUARD WITH HIM!
Team Stevens piles out of the ring ... but they've
done their damage for the night ... Kerry Masters
has the win, but he may not walk out of here with
it ... that's all the time we have tonight -- until
next week, I leave you with these words from the
man who just helped save the day ...
=================================================================
{Fade in to a darkened arena hallway, a lone figure partway down
the hall. The person starts to speak, and most recognize the
voice of Justice, even with the slight echo.}
[J]
Well ... I was a fool. I suppose I perhaps should have realized
that it was the Flock who orchestrated my doubts, but it no
longer matters. Now, I know. And now, the reckoning will come.
The Philosopher, Mikhail Tszkova. Reverend Jeremiah James. These
are men who believe they know the truth. It's very interesting
how different they are, yet how similar. James has his truth
given to him from on high ... a vision, if you will. If you
believe him. Tszkova has spent his life in study, divining the
secrets of the universe and gaining knowledge unknown to the
mortal man. If you believe him. And they both use this knowledge
to claim the moral high ground -- to 'teach' and to 'show' others
the 'right way'.
Some people might say that I'm describing myself. They would be
wrong. I don't claim to know anything that anyone else doesn't.
Justice resides in the hearts and minds of all people. It is
very simple: there is right, and there is wrong. And sometimes,
something must be done to keep the balance.
What the Flock has done was try to make me believe that they are
right. They have failed, and in that, they have made me very,
very angry. And now, they can spend their time contemplating my
words ... {even more softly} Justice ... will ... be ... served.
=================================================================
This work copyright © 1998 by Allied Sports Enterprises. Allied
Wrestling International is a member of the Summit Wrestling
Alliance; permission is given to distribute or rebroadcast AWI
footage in cooperation with Summit Wrestling events.
"CBS Eye" is a registered trademark of Columbia Broadcasting
System, used without permission for purposes of parody; no actual
association between the writers and CBS should be inferred.
"Promotional" trademarks likewise used without permission or
affiliation for purposes of parody.
=================================================================
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