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Television Network
P R E S E N T S
=================================================================
{Fade into a hospital waiting area. Steve the Insane is off to
one side pacing back and forth. Chad Duncan, along with his
cameraman, slowly approach.}
[Chad Duncan]
Steve, any word on Angela's condition?
{Steve merely continues to pace.}
[Duncan]
{pausing} Steve, I understand, you're kind of upset, but is there
any update you can give ...
{Steve suddenly stops pacing and jerks the microphone out of
Chad's hand.}
[Steve the Insane]
Go away.
{Duncan starts to say something but wisely thinks better of it
and starts to leave. The cmaeraman begins to follow but is pulled
back.}
[Steve]
You I still need here ... {pauses in thought} Y'know, I've been
in this sport for awhile now. It's always been fun for me ...
heck, I probably would do this for free. Even back when I was
teaming with his Lordship, it was fun. Tonight was probably the
first night that it just wasn't fun at all ...
I know everyone's concerned about Angela. Believe me, so am I.
You don't know how much ... {stops to regain composure} I wish
I could tell you folks how badly she's injured, but the doctors
haven't told me yet. I may not know her condition, but there is
an injury update I can give you -- Jade Tiger's. Tiger, I've
tried to be nice. Really I have. All the stuff you've done or
tried to do to Angela -- she'd been handling it, and getting the
better of you mostly, so I didn't put my foot down. Turns out I
should have.
No more playing, Tiger. You set this whole thing up, that's
obvious ... well, I don't have a huge complicated master plan
for revenge. Mine's simple -- you're dead. Crow gets in my way,
he's dead. Dream Succubus, Sara Victory - I don't care who I have
to pay, they're dead if they get in the way. I'm not gonna yell,
not gonna scream and throw things ... this isn't a warning
Cat-man ... this is a promise. {to cameraman} Ok, now *YOU* go
away.
{Fade out on a distraught Steve the Insane.}
=================================================================
{Fade in on scenes of technicians working on various elements of
a NASA-style rocket platform, doing diagnostics and stuff ... a
pair of serious-faced men carry a gleaming metal canister up the
gantry elevator, stepping off to approach the rocket's "warhead";
they pause to open the top of the canister, and a bright glow can
be seen within, flashing out to 'blind' the camera ... the glow
fades into several quick scenes of AWI action featuring Steve the
Insane, Ken Mischief, Danny Boy McGill, the Fallen Angel, the
Crystal Crow, and Justice ... the scene brightens into white
again, then fades back into the gantry as the canister is closed,
then slotted into a port on the warhead. The men give a thumbs up
sign to the technicians, and walk away.
Moments later, we see the rocket during takeoff, speeding through
the atmosphere; as it disappears from sight, there's a flash of
light like a sci-fi explosion, and a logo appears:
Allied Wrestling International
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{The camera pulls back to reveal a "Houston" control center which
is watching all the following on a large central monitor; all the
personnel begin slapping hands congratulations, as the monitor
view switches to the below and the camera closes back in.}
=================================================================
{We come to a "virtual studio" set, with a number of ostensible
video-panels floating in mid-air in the background ... in front
of the panels are three rotating seats, in which are seated a
finely-groomed individual in a 3-piece suit; a blond preppie type
dressed in a light green shirt, beige Dockers, and a pink sweater
draped over his shoulders; and a familiar man in black
Western-style shirt and jeans, and a buckskin jacket ... the
music wraps up, as we zoom in on the trio.}
[Suit]
Welcome fans, to the first, ALL-NEW edition of Allied Wrestling
International's Mission Control! I'm your host, Johnny Rocket,
and with me for the next exciting hour of wrestling action is
the irrepressible Kyle Esprit and the irreplaceable Stan
Jurgens--
[Esprit]
Correction, Johnny my man: I am the never-falter, never-fade,
never-another-to-be-made managerial GENIUS, whose Corps d'Esprit
will run this federation into the ground from dominance!
[Jurgens]
Really? So, who's in the Corps d'Esprit right now?
[Esprit]
Well, we're sort of in a reorganizational mode, actually--
[Rocket]
You mean, you don't HAVE any wrestlers under contract.
[Esprit]
That would be one way of putting it, I suppose.
[Jurgens]
You gotta admit, Rocket, it's an innovative strategy.
{Behind them, the AWI Mission Control logo dissolves on the
center video panel, to reveal a still shot of Angela Dante lying
on the floor, with medics and Steve the Insane around her.}
[Rocket]
In that case, we'll move from innovative strategy to infernal
strategy. This was the scene of Tuesday's Armageddon, where the
first mixed match of the AWI was to take place. As you can
plainly see, gentlemen, Steve the Insane is not a happy camper.
[Jurgens]
Wrong. Boy Scouts who left their knives at home are unhappy
campers. Steve's tenting out at Crystal Lake right now, and he's
the one in the hockey mask.
[Esprit]
Hey -- whatever happened to women's lib here? Angela wanted to be
a big wheel, play with the boys, and all that junk. So she gets
the bruises coming to her, and now Steve's in a funk about it?
Grow up, Blondie.
[Jurgens]
I've got two very good reasons to disagree with that. One,
there's a big difference between beating an opponent who's after
you, and beating an opponent you sought out all the way to the
hospital.
[Rocket]
And second?
[Jurgens]
Steve might have a VCR.
[Rocket]
Astute ... Whatever the case, we have here today in this show,
the Jade Tiger in action. Knowing Steve's mental state, what
could happen?
[Esprit]
Hopefully something that gets our local looney-tune locked up for
a long time.
[Rocket]
In other matches, we have a tag match featuring Ms. Dante and her
partner Brenda Storm, the AWI Women's Tag Champs, as they take on
Trish Williams and Sara Linstrom; the Toxic Twins, well on their
way in the North American Tag Tournament, are also in action, as
well as a newcomer to the AWI, Doug Abercrombie.
[Esprit]
That's "Mr. Excitement" Doug Abercrombie, Rocket! Pay these new
talents some respect -- they're the wave of the future!
[Jurgens]
Reckon we can get 'em to wave goodbye?
[Rocket]
Our feature match pits the return of two major stars to the AWI,
the Right-On Reverend Jeremiah James, former TV Champion and
leader of the Flock, and 'Awesome One' Kerry Masters, a former
North American Champion.
[Jurgens]
Which y'all may have missed while hittin' the fridge for snacks.
[Rocket]
He may only have held it for 15 minutes, but he held it
nevertheless. James and Masters will be an interesting battle of
strength vs. speed. With Kerry's experience in battles with
bigger men, and the vileness of James and his Flock, it will
truly be a test for both men.
[Esprit]
The only thing that this is going to test is my digestion. First
Masters is going to make me sick pandering to the corn-fed sows
in the audience, then James is going to make me sick showing us
The Awesome Internal Organs. The Reverend may just perform a
miracle and let Kerry walk out in one piece ... but I wouldn't
bet your next Sunday offering on it.
[Rocket]
We'll also have comments from AWI stars, commentary from my
esteemed colleagues about the goings-on in the AWI, an edition
of Straite Talk, and much more! Now, let's get things started,
with some comments from our first participants ...
=================================================================
{Camera opens on a locker-room, two men can be seen on a couch
watching a tape of Robbie Stevens and Smilin' Joey's match. The
first man, fairly handsome with shoulder-length blond hair, is
wearing jeans, a red t-shirt and Nikes. The other man is slightly
agitated as he watches the match. He makes cruiserweights look
big. He is wearing multi-color Bermuda shorts, Nike cross
trainers and a baseball jersey that reads "Cervesa" on the front.
He has short dark hair and is holding a black baseball bat,
which he seems to be having an animated conversation with.}
[Man 2]
See Louie! I told you I can take Robbie Stevens!
[Man 1]
Weasel, chill out, dude. {notices camera} Hey! What are you
doing in here?
[Cameraman]
Uhhh, they sent me ... to get ...
[Weasel]
Who sent you? Chris Hairie?
[Cameraman]
No ... I, they sent me to talk and ...
[Man 1]
That's it! You're over!
{The man in the red shirt leaps off the back of the couch and
bodypresses the cameraman. Weasel can be heard in the background,
yelling "All right Doug! Woohoo!!" The camera lands on the floor
aiming at the door and shows the cameraman hastily scurrying out.
The camera is picked up and swung around so reveal Weasel aiming
it at himself, but it's sideways.}
[Weasel]
Hellllllllllllllllllloooooooooo in tv land!
{Camera moves to show Doug, still sideways as Doug starts to
speak}
[Doug]
Well, I guess this is where we are supposed to talk and tell
people how cool we are. OK ... I'm Doug "Mr. Excitement"
Abercrombie, and this is my compadre, Weasel ...
[Weasel]: And Louie!!
[Doug]
And his tag team partner, 'Louie'. We're certainly not the
biggest athletes to walk in the door, but we are the best. I can
do moves that make other cruiserweights drool. And Weasel is one
hell of a competitor too. We know everyone here is going to want
a piece of us, so we're gonna do the only fair thing. We're going
to sign open contracts. That means first come, first serve, first
guy to fall to Doug and Weasel.
[Weasel]: And Louie!!
[Doug]
{Camera view leaves him as he talks and starts looking at random
things in the room} So step up and put your names on the dotted
lines, boys. And ladies, you can step up too, 'cause you're all
going to want a piece of "Mr. Excitement" too--just a different
piece than the boys. Well, hopefully most of the boys. Hey,
Weasel, let's get out of here and get a hot dog or something.
{The camera bounces as it's tossed on the couch and shows Weasel
start to leave. Then he cocks his head like he's listening to
something.}
[Weasel]
Good call, Louie! Better turn off the camera.
{Weasel winds up and the last thing the camera shows is "Louie"
crashing into it ... the camera pulls away from the video panel,
now blank, and zooms into the panel on the left, over our trio's
shoulder in such away as to merge them with the crowd in a
packed arena, with Alan Kinsman in the ring ...}
=================================================================
[Kinsman]
Our first match is a one fall, 10 minute time limit. Introducing
first, currently in the ring ... from Alexandria, Virginia,
weighing 251 pounds ... Chris Sprouse!!! And his opponent ...
{"Winning it All" by the Outfield comes on and Doug Abercrombie
comes out, dressed in red and silver wrestling pants and boots,
and a black and silver ring jacket. He's wearing sunglasses and a
cocky smile. Weasel follows in black windpants and a his baseball
jersey. He is carrying "Louie" and has a plastic souvenir
championship belt around his waist.}
[Kinsman]
And his opponent, hailing from Monument Valley, Arizona and
weighing in at 228 pounds, Doug Abercrombie!!
{Abercrombie whispers something in Kinsman's ear, then Weasel
does as well, giving Kinsman a confused look until Abercrombie
repeats it}
[Kinsman]
Ahem ... "Mr. Excitement" Doug Abercrombie ... accompanied by
the ... 'Weasel Wrestling World Television Champion' ... the
Weasel ...
[Rocket]: And they've proven that they can intimidate a
ring announcer. How wonderful.
[Jurgens]: That may end up in Weasel's resume before long.
It may be the first person he ever HAS intimidated.
[Esprit]: Hey, I LIKE these guys! They've got talent,
they've got style! They've got spunk!
[Jurgens]: They've got the combined brains of a roadkill
armadillo.
{Weasel takes off his plastic belt and shows it proudly to the
crowd and the camera before leaving the ring.}
[Rocket]: And we're underway--wait a minute ... someone is
walking to ringside ...
{A big man dressed in a well-tailored, three piece suit makes
his way to ringside to watch the match. He stands over 6', with
a decidedly rotund build, which is well hidden by his exquisite
fashion sense (it's a wonder what pinstripes can do to the
density-challenged). He wears a top hat, white gloves,
suspenders, and has a short brown horseshoe of hair encircling
his crown, attached to a meticulously trimmed beard and
mustache.}
[Rocket]: An immediate drop kick by Abercrombie ... he now
seems to be announcing to the crowds how that is the perfect
dropkick. Oh, good. He can talk. That makes him immediately
a possibility to join Team Stevens.
[Esprit]: We KNEW he could talk! Weren't you paying
attention earlier? And of course he's a possibility to join
Team Stevens! They're a premier wrestling organization, he's
a premier wrestler ...
[Jurgens]: Did you thump your head on the door on your way
over here? If this Abercrombie fella wants to get some
respect, he's gotta do three things. One, dump that last
name. Call himself Doug Olsen or something. Nobody respects
wrestlers with long names. Second, dump the runt on the
outside. He's only going to drag him down. And third, pay
more attention to his opponent than the fans, who don't
seem to like him much anyhow.
[Rocket]: Sprouse himself is certainly not amused ...
{Chris retaliates with a clothesline, which is ducked by
Abercrombie, who then spin wheel kicks Sprouse. Doug then dumps
Sprouse out of the ring, and starts prancing around the ring
again.}
[Esprit]: This IS excitement!
[Jurgens]: Pontiac is excitement. This is a waste o'my
valuable fishin' time.
>>RINGSIDE<<
{Weasel walks up to Chris.}
[Weasel]
{to Sprouse} Wanna see my belt?
{As Chris dazedly tries to make sense of this request, Doug jumps
over the top rope to bodypress him.}
[Rocket]: Sprouse just standing there looking at this
idiot-- PLANCHA BY ABERCROMBIE!!!!!!!
[Weasel]
Guess not.
{The finely-dressed newcomer at ringside shakes his head and dabs
his brow with a white handkerchief.}
[Rocket]: Between Weasle, Doug, and that stranger outside
... I guess we've entered wrestling's version of the
Twilight Zone, huh?
[Jurgens]: Yes, but you're missin' the aesthetic beauty of
it all.
[Rocket]: How's that?
[Jurgens]: None of those men are named Robertson.
[Rocket]: You may just have a point there ...
>>RING<<
{Sprouse back inside, just in time to get hit with a springboard
moonsault by Doug.}
[Rocket]: ASAI MOONSAULT on Sprouse!!! WOW!! Cover ... 1 ...
2 ... 3--no!
{Doug picks Chris up instead of taking a third count. As Sprouse
tries to make it to his feet, Abercrombie runs to the ropes; he
leaps on the top rope and springboards off to nail Sprouse with
an elbow to the face.}
[Esprit]: Gentlemen, if we're not watching the next Light
Heavyweight Champion of the world, I'm buying lunch.
[Jurgens]: Well, you may be right -- this boy does seem to
be able to jump around somethin' crazy ... but just in case
you're not, I'll have the salsa melt.
{Sprouse staggers to his feet, even slower this time, as Doug
climbs the corner turnbuckle.}
[Rocket]: Sprouse is absolutely stunned, but courageously
coming to his feet ... SHOOTING STAR DROPKICK BY DOUG!!!
AMAZING!!!
{Doug makes another cover: 1 ... 2 ... 3!}
[Esprit]: Too much Excitement for poor Mr. Sprouse! You may
not see him step in a ring again, after being dominated like
that! You know, Robbie might not get a CHANCE at Mr.
Excitement -- you may JUST be looking at the first new
member of the Corps d'Esprit!
[Jurgens]: I think you're barkin' up the wrong tree, Kyle.
If these two are a package deal, you're probably better off
without them. I wouldn't trust the runt to carry my soda,
let alone his weight in a wrestlin' ring.
[Esprit]: Ahh, but that's where you've missed something. He
doesn't have all that much weight to carry.
[Jurgens]: Hey, good-- HUH? OK, that's it. Five minutes
until you talk to me again.
{Weasle gets back in the ring, and hits Sprouse in the back with
the bat.}
[Rocket]: Weasle inside to congratulate his friend, I
suppose, and-- what?!? I don't believe this!
[Jurgens]: I suppose that's to calm him down.
[Rocket]: Wait ... our stranger is making his way to the
ring -- he seems to have something to say about this ...
{Indeed, the man is entering the ring, with a microphone in his
hand. He slowly takes off his jacket, and rolls up his sleeves,
while Weasle and Abercrombie continues to attack Sprouse. He then
grabs Weasle and tosses him out of the ring.}
[Rocket]: LOOK AT THAT!!!
[Esprit]: Talk about a travesty -- he's got no business
interfering in Mr. Excitement's match like this!
[Rocket]: Kyle, the match is *over*.
[Esprit]: Has Abercrombie left the ring yet?
[Rocket]: No, but--
[Esprit]: Kyle's Style, Rule #1: The match is over when the
victor leaves the ring!
[Stranger]
You there! You call yourself an Abercrombie?! I defeated an
Abercrombie in Paris ... Sir Winston Abercrombie was his name, a
fine gentleman indeed. And you acting so atrociously ... and
associating with, with ... THAT!! {indicates Weasle}
[Jurgens]: What did I tell you? You can't get respect
runnin' around callin' yourself "Abercrombie". Even butlers
like this guy think they can beat you up.
[Esprit]: Hey, do you think he needs work? I recently had a
falling out with my last one.
[Jurgens]: Hush -- you've still got three minutes.
[Rocket]: What happened?
[Esprit]: Can you believe it? He said I was too abrasive and
obnoxious for him to be around!
[Jurgens]: No comment.
[Rocket]: No comment.
[Stranger]
You do your family crest poorly, young Abercrombie. It is clear
with those dreadful tactics I saw earlier that you are not a
descendant of Sir Winston!
If you feel you must deviate from the established rules of
combat, then perhaps you should find a worthy opponent? One who
will not tolerate your brash behavior! I did not spend years in
the greatest schools around the world to have ruffians like
yourself demean my endeavors! Nay, I intend to defend the virtues
of this sport to the best of my ability. Ability which *earned*
me the title of Grandmaster on the battlefield of the mind, young
Abercrombie.
{The man starts to help Sprouse to his feet, as Weasel sneaks up
from behind; suddenly, the man whirls and points a finger}
[Stranger]
Think before you act, I implore you. Ask yourself before you make
a regretful decision ... will the gambit be accepted or declined?
For Grandmaster Alexander Spassky always plays for keeps.
[Jurgens]: Grandmaster Spassky? I thought that was a Boris.
[Esprit]: Emphasis on the "spaz!" He's going to get knocked
into left field for this!
{Weasel pauses for a moment, then swings "Louie", but Spassky
ducks, and Louie hits Abercrombie straight in the shoulder. He
kicks Weasle in the knee, drops him with a single leg takedown,
and then turns him over for a Boston crab.}
[Rocket]: A textbook combination, and Weasle is neutralized!
Oh, no -- here comes Doug!
{Abercrombie rushes Spassky, who drops the crab and kicks Doug's
knee, then bends him down and DDTs him. The crowd cheers loudly,
as the dastardly duo roll to the outside.}
[Rocket]: This Spassky fellow has just cleared the ring of
BOTH Abercrombie and Weasel!! And the crowd loves it!
[Esprit]: He's an idiot! Sure, you can get the drop on a guy
like Mr. Excitement, surprise him and make him look bad ...
but he's only going to return the favor tenfold later on!
And let me tell you, nobody comes out on the winning side of
a matchup with a Louisville Slugger ...
[Jurgens]: He has to hit him, first ... and anybody that
misses a Brahma bull like that Spassky character may as well
go on back home and watch the real wrestlers on TV.
[Rocket]: We'll be back after these messages!
================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK: Umbrella galoshes cucumber SUUURRRGGGE ...
Coming Memorial Day: GODZILLA. Giant Lizard. New York City. They
don't mesh real well ... if your dog's not eating Science Diet,
he'll probably hate you when he's older ...
================================================================
{And we're back to the AWI Mission Control virtual-studio, where
on the back video-panel is still-framed the last shot of an
eerily calm Spassky}
[Rocket]
Well, that was ... interesting.
[Esprit]
Interesting? It was DEPRESSING! Here we have the--let's face it,
there's no other word for it--the EXCITING debut of Doug
Abercrombie, every inch of him MISTER Excitement, and some Euro
who's obviously packed away too much Paris cuisine comes in and
tries to steal his thunder!
[Jurgens]
Methinks the preppie doth protest too much ... there's somethin'
about this Spassky fella that bugs me. Maybe it's the civilized
bit--any time you see somebody who knows how to mix it up, and
who's claimin' to be 'refined' ... this guy's got a past.
[Rocket]
I'm sure we'll be hearing more of it in the coming weeks.
{The center video panel morphs from the still, to the AWI logo,
then to a still of the Mississippi Kid holding up the Light
Heavyweight Title}
[Rocket]
As many of you know, we have a new Light Heavyweight Champion in
the AWI: the Mississippi Kid. He shocked the wrestling world by
defeating Bryan Bachman at Armageddon last week, and seems to
truly fit the requirement, being the lightest champion in the
history of men's titles in the AWI. He has heart, courage, and
even a little sneakiness to him, and the backing of the
Mississippi Queen.
[Esprit]
Don't even START with me on that little tart! You know, she's
tried to steal the spotlight from everything one of my wrestlers
ever accomplished?
[Rocket]
Whereas you would just steal the credit from them.
[Esprit]
Right, whereas-- HEY! You're talking to the most effectual
intellectual you're ever likely to meet, Rocket! I've got good
friends in high places, and bad friends in low places, so unless
you want your bones broke in several places, I'd watch that
tongue!
[Jurgens]
Mind if I watch your tongue too, Rocket? I'm gettin' dizzy
watchin' /his/ yammer on.
[Rocket]
Gentlemen, please, we're being serious. My question to you two
is: how long do you think he can hold on to that title?
[Esprit]
As long as he wants, if he dumps Miss Insipid Queen and picks up
the Mind from Malibu for his corner, yours truly.
[Jurgens]
Yeah, right -- they share half a name, Kyle. Don't bet the summer
home on it. To be honest, Rocket? He'll hold it as long as the
Bulldog doesn't want it back. The Kid's good, but he's barely
cutting his teeth on solo competition, while the Bulldog's likely
got as an impressive a rapsheet as any light-heavy in the AWI
right now. He'd better hope Wrath distracts Bachman for a long
while.
[Rocket]
The Kid has a title defense coming up at the Pay Per View, the
question now becomes ... to whom will he defend against? The next
wrestler scheduled for the shot is "Canadian" Chris Sim, but you
can't discount Bachman's right to a rematch. And what about Jason
Wrath?
[Jurgens]
Please. Name one thing Wrath's done to earn a shot, besides
givin' half the Competition Committee an Alka-Seltzer diet. My
money's on a Bachman rematch, if the Plague Dog's smart enough to
get that paper signed. Otherwise, I wouldn't be surprised to see
a top competitor from another organization make the trip. A
wet-behind-the-ears pup like the Kid with gold around his waist?
Tempting target for a superstar lookin' for a quick weight-gain
diet of heavy minerals.
[Esprit]
What about the man we just saw, Mr. Excitement? He's CLEARLY of
championship caliber! And while I'm at it -- what has Jason Wrath
done? How about intimidate every wrestler in his division? How
about dominating all the competition he's faced? Wrath is in a
class all by himself!
[Rocket]
Remember what the wise man once said: "Mouth makes not a
champion." Wrath certainly has the mouth.
[Esprit]
What's that supposed to be, Shakespeare?
[Rocket]
I think it came from Rocky V.
[Jurgens]
Eh, easy mix-up.
[Rocket]
We'll be right back after this...
================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
================================================================
{From commercial, to logo, to studio, zoom into arena again}
[Kinsman]
The next match is a one fall, 10 minute time limit contest.
Introducing first, already in the ring, from Parts Unknown ...
here are Grey Guardians III and IV!!!
[Rocket]: Remember, they pronounce that "Eye-Eye-Eye" and
"Eye-Vee". Dare to be different.
[Esprit]: But if we ALL pronounce it like that, how are we
being different?
[Jurgens]: Do you need a Time-Out?
[Kinsman]
And their opponents ... they are led to the ring by their
manager, TAMARA ... Tyler ... Perry ... THE TOXIC TWINS!!!
{The Toxics, coming to the ring, scream "We have places to be!",
and as the bell rings, Tyler IMMEDIATELY jumps on GG III, while
Perry tosses IV out of the ring.}
[Rocket]: Boy, the ref sure knows how to keep control of a
match RIGHT from the start ...
{The Toxics double-whip III to the corner, and kick him in the
stomach when he bounces out; they then lift him up for a double
vertical suplex.}
[Esprit]: YES!! I tell you, there's just a feeling that
comes over you, watching a quality tag team like this!
[Jurgens]: Don't make any sudden, jarring moves, and it'll
pass.
[Rocket]: The referee enforcing a *little* order here ...
{The referee ejects Perry to the apron. Tyler clotheslines III,
then picks him up to deliver an atomic drop.}
[Rocket]: Tyler brings in Perry *legally* ...
{Tyler tags out, and Perry drops III with a spinning neckbreaker.
He then drags up III and slaps on an abdominal stretch.}
[Rocket]: Perry tags back Tyler, and drops the abdominal
lock ... and there's the TOXIC BOMB!!!
{Tyler performs a slingshot powerbomb, holding it for the pin:
1 ... 2 ... IV rolls in the ring, but is stopped by Perry ...
3!!!}
[Kinsman]
Your winners ... The TOXIC TWINS!!!!
[Rocket]: And the Twins rolls right out of the ring and
hotstep it out of the arena. What was their hurry?
[Jurgens]: Maybe their TV dinners were getting cold.
[Esprit]: See, that's the failing of a manager. Don't get me
wrong, it's obvious that Tamara has her ... assets, but
she's too close to her charges. This was a perfect
opportunity for them to work on the tactics that can move
them to the next level, but she lets 'em treat it like a
quick catnap.
[Rocket]: Let me guess: whereas a "genius" like yourself
would've pushed them harder?
[Esprit]: Well, not to name names, but yes, I can think of a
few managers out there capable of providing superior
guidance ...
================================================================
{Back to the studio.}
[Rocket]
Well, the Toxics evidently decided time is money, and ended it
quickly. It just goes to show you how efficient they can be in
the ring, and how much of a force they are in the AWI. I would
be hard-pressed to think of a tag team in the North American
Tournament that can beat them, with the exception of Cross
Body.
[Esprit]
/I/ certainly wouldn't bet against them. They've got the
experience, they've got the talent, and, while they don't have
the BEST manager in the world, they've got a pretty good one.
[Jurgens]
My gut here says go with the Chaos Brothers. Call me crazy, but
those two have got something about 'em -- a little Cut'n'Shoot,
maybe, maybe even a little Outlaw Riders about those two. But
to get to that title, they ARE gonna have to go through the
Twins.
[Rocket]
Of course, if I was playing the Devil's advocate, I could say
the Guardians weren't exactly the greatest tests for the
Toxics, though.
[Jurgens]
Well, keep in mind they're only Grey Guardians. They've still
got green, red, and black to move through as they achieve higher
levels of enlightened lameness. {*snicker*}
[Rocket]
Speaking of the North American Tourney ... isn't it a little
unfair that Agony and Ecstasy in effect will have no clue who
they will be facing next? Not to defend Team Stevens, but a
couple of things are hard to understand. First, Chamberlain
tells him he has to find someone of "comparable" talent to
team with. Swayze, although not the greatest of talent, did
defeat Jack Robertson. And second, Corey Bonham was expecting
to wrestle the 200-ish pound Mist Angel. Instead, he gets the
300-pound Oracle.
[Esprit]
A LITTLE unfair? Rocket, this is the greatest scandal involving
an executive officer since yesterday's USA Today ... Apparently,
that DDT Daki Chamberlain took way back travelled through time
to give his kid a concussion, because Jamahn's brain is out to
lunch! "Roadhouse" Chad Swayze is a fine competitor, and I
wouldn't be surprised if he was lodging a grievance against the
league right now for such an insult!
[Jurgens]
A little reason here, people? Remember, Swayze was the first
joker Robbie ever /beat/. And we've got Robbie's own words back
THEN claiming Chad was no match for him.
[Esprit]
That was BEFORE he needed a tag team partner.
[Jurgens]
{rolls eyes} In any case ... Bonham's match was just pure dumb
luck. If anything, he should thank the league for the wake-up
call. You have to be ready for anything, and apparently Robbie
didn't have his partner at quite that level.
[Rocket]
Still, it just doesn't seem right, that's all.
{And we zoom over their heads into a video panel again.}
=================================================================
[Kinsman]
This match is scheduled for one fall, 10 minute time limit. It is
a non-title match.
[Rocket]: This match was taped about a week before the
attack on Angela Dante, and we still have no word on her
condition as of yet.
[Kinsman]
Introducing first, at a combined weight of 255 pounds ...
already in the ring Tricha Chapman, and Helen McCale!!! And
their opponents ... At a combined weight of 253 pounds ... they
are the AWI WOMEN'S WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ... Angela Dante
... Brenda Storm ... FIRESTORM!!!
{BIG pop for the duo as they make it to the ring, slapping hands
with the fans}
[Rocket]: Dante and McCale starting things off ...
{McCale starts with a pair of hiptosses, followed by a dropkick.}
[Esprit]: This is like watching one of those slasher movies
... you just KNOW Angela's going to get it, but you've got
no idea when ... do we have any popcorn?
[Rocket]: Don't be crass -- Dante's injuries are very
serious, and we still don't know their extent ...
{Angela gets put into a headlock; she breaks it, and McCale
throws her to the ropes. Dante tags to Storm as she bounces off
the ropes, and baseball slides between McCale's feet, just as
Storm jumps off the turnbuckle with a flying leg lariat -- which
McCale ducks. Helen picks up Brenda and delivers a spinning
neckbreaker, then makes a cover: 1 ... and Storm kicks out.}
[Esprit]: You know why Angela's sitting in the hospital
right now? It's not because of Jade Tiger ... it's because
of what we just saw -- Brenda has no awareness. A REAL tag
eam partner would've BEEN there for her partner! Maybe
Brenda was even in on it ... probably dumped her partner for
a fine Asian catch like the Crow!
[Rocket]: WHAT?!
[Esprit]: It all makes sense! She can't resist his Chinese
charms, but she doesn't want to hurt her phony reputation
admitting it! So she helps cook up this little scheme, and
then she gets to cook up all the other stuff she wants to
-- like lunch and dinner!
[Jurgens]: Wouldn't it have just been simpler to jump her
partner herself?
[Esprit]: Women are very conniving creatures ...
[Rocket]: And I think I know why they don't spend much time
around you ...
{McCale tags to Chapman, who throws a double axehandle into
Storm; she whips Storm into the ropes, and bends over for a
backdrop, but Storm catches her with a DDT instead. Storm then
whips *her* into the ropes, and jumps on the top rope, leaping
off with a springboard sunset flip as Chapman returns: 1 ... 2
... and McCale breaks the pin with a stomp.}
[Esprit]: There's that lack of awareness again -- no
concentration! You can see it in her eyes, Rocket -- she's
pining for her Beijing boytoy!
[Jurgens]: I'm startin' to pine for a Pepto-Bismol, myself.
{Brenda tags in Dante, who scoops up Chapman for a bodyslam, and
follows with a quick elbow drop. She puts on an armbar and holds
it for a few seconds, then picks up Chapman and lifts her into an
atomic drop.}
[Rocket]: BIG move from Dante!
{Dante waits for Chapman to get to her feet, and fells her with
an enziguiri kick.}
[Rocket]: ... and a hard back brain kick chaser!
[Esprit]: That's how her and Steve first started goin'
steady, you know -- they back-brain kicked each other, and
when neither one of them had brains to hurt, that's when
they knew they were a match!
[Jurgens]: Tell me, Kyle -- should those two ever get
married, would I have to get to bring a gift, or would the
handbag Steve's gonna make out of you count?
[Rocket]: Dante to the top rope ... HIGH FLYING ELBOWSMASH!
1 ... 2 ... 3!!!
[Kinsman]
Your winner ... FIRESTORM!!!
{And we pull back out of the panel into the virtual studio}
=================================================================
[Rocket]
A fine victory for Firestorm, but will they be ready for their
title defense against Dream Succubus?
[Esprit]
Dante will be ready -- ready for a transplant! {laugh}
[Jurgens]
Can we get some sort of Steve Proximity Detector for the studio?
I want to put some distance between Kyle and me in case he shows
up ... say, North America.
[Rocket]
That's not the worst suggestion I've heard today ... we'll be
right back after these comments from Jade Tiger.
=================================================================
{Sounds of exaggerated sobs echo off the stone hallways as the
camera weaves its way down a corridor, the orange glow of
dancing candles swaying with the sorrowful wails. Turning the
corner, Jade Tiger is seen with his head down on an oaken table
shaking in a fit of despair ... or is he?}
[Jade Tiger]
BOO HOO HOO HOO ... {SOB} ... WHY? WHY? WHY? ... BOO HOO HOO ...
{Suddenly, he stops and his grinning face looks up with a
cackling fit of laughter}
[JT]
HAHAHAHA ... Steve the Insane ... sensitive superstar, shed a few
tears for your beloved Angela Dante?! Hmm? Tell me, is crying
good for the Western soul? Big, bad Steve the Insane, the how you
Westerners say ... Phil Donahue girly man who is in touch with
his feelings? How about Steve the Sensitive, eh?!?
I told all of AWI, Angela Dante did not possess the resolve to be
in this sport. Her place is in the home ... but now, I suppose
Steve the Sensitive can stay home in apron and bake cookies too.
HAHAHA!
If you had treated her with the respect she was due, she would
have quit long ago. What happened to Angela was your fault, Steve
the Sensitive. You know it, that is what is eating at your
corrupt heart. You are to blame! All could have been prevented if
you had taken your hand to her foolish dreams and disciplined her
properly. Now, she causes you to lose face before the world.
Tell her, Steve. Tell her that you led to her pain because you
are a weak man and should have punished her for thinking of such
a folly. She cannot hope to compete with superior women like
Dream Succubus and Sarah Victory. Tell her Steve ... after you
have dried your tears and dusted the house!! HAHAHAHA!
================================================================
[Jurgens]
North America may not be enough. Is there room with Glenn on
that shuttle flight coming up?
[Rocket]
You're exaggerating just a little, aren't you?
[Jurgens]
I've never been more serious in my life, Rocket. I can say this
with absolute honesty, that in my entire career, I've only met
three men I'd avoid getting in the ring with. One of them is
Steve the Insane. Jade Tiger's normally about the craftiest
fellow you'd ever run into, but he's lost me here.
[Rocket]
I don't even want to talk about him, because I figure he won't be
in the AWI very much longer once Steve the Insane gets a hold of
him. I honestly think this is the first time I've seen StI
actually angry, and we all know what he's like when he's happy.
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
[PA]
Ladies and gentlemen ... it is time, once again, for another
edition of ... STRAITE TALK!!!
{"The Rascal King" by the Mighty, Mighty Bosstones kicks up as
Jerry Straite breaks through the curtains and makes his way to
the ring, greeting the fans with waves. He's dressed in jeans and
a t-shirt advertising the '99 Pan-Am Games, to be held in
Manitoba.}
[Straite]
Alllllrrrriiiiiight!! Straite Talk is once again *on* *the*
*air*! But this is a very *special* Straite Talk. For the first
time, but maybe not the last, I will be joined by a special
guest. Yes, that's right ... for the next few minutes you get to
hear *him* rant about what's buggin' him, instead of havin' to
listen to *me*!
In the past few months, my guest's been put through the wringer.
He doubted *everything* that he thought was important to him. He
had some very rough times, and maybe it made him a little nuts.
But now, he's got his head on straight. Now, he's found what was
missing. And now, he's painted a bullseye on the man he blames
for his troubles. I'm gonna turn to Alanis Morissette for the
words to introduce him: {singing, and not *too* badly}
And all we really want ... is some comfort ...
A way to get our hands untied ...
And all we really want ... {starts turning} is some ...
{points to the entrance} JUSTICE!
{The crowd gets into it as Justice slowly steps through the
curtains, looks around, and raises his hands in acknowledgement.
He then quickly makes his way to the ring to the strains of
Alanis' "All I Really Want". Justice shoots Straite a
questioning look.}
[Straite]
{smirking} Yes, that's right ... Jerry Straite *is* the music
man, and the AWI dances to the tune I call! Anyway, Justice,
thank you for agreeing to be on the show.
[Justice]
Well, I'd like to thank you for having me, Mr. Straite. I've had
little chance to spend time with the fans in the past few
months ...
{Straite turns away from the mic and coughs}
[Justice]
... but it's good to know that, after all my difficulties, that
so many of you {clearly talking to the fans by this point} still
believe in me, and still believe that I *will* redeem myself!
Thank you!
{The fans briefly pop for themselves.}
[Straite]
Ah, and that would be the first question that pops to mind: what
exactly *did* happen in the past few months?
{Justice looks a little uncomfortable}
[Straite]
Buck up, kid, I'll make it quick. Lessee ... you lost a series
of matches under ... odd ... circumstances. That seemed to
rattle you just a bit.
[Justice]
I had come to deliver judgement upon those who had earned it--
Ken Mischief, Crystal Crow, and others like them. And yet ...
they all escaped their punishments. I am here on a simple
mission: make the guilty pay for their crimes. But when it was
*that* difficult to succeed, when so many walked away
unpunished ... I began to have my doubts.
[Straite]
Pretty serious doubts, it seemed, when one night you went out,
battered one kid into the hospital, then decked the War Machine.
[Justice]
I am not ... proud ... of my actions that night.
[Straite]
{shrugs} Oh, I don't know ... puttin' Gardner on his butt with
one shot would make most guys' careers!
{A smattering of laughter from the audience.}
[Straite]
Not long after that, you had a match with "Superman" Mike
Piersall. And you seemed ready to finally turn your backs on
your friends, and your fans.
[Justice]
I was ... very confused. All I knew for certain was that a
decision had to be made.
[Straite]
That decision was whether or not to club Mike with a pair of
knucks brought to you by Robert Lupo. You chose not to,
obviously. And from those events, you decided that it was *Lupo*
who had forced you into that situation.
[Justice]
{angrily} *Somebody* had been pushing events to occur the way
they had! *Somebody* wanted me vulnerable. And when I was at my
most vulnerable, who appeared, ready to destroy what was left of
my mission and my friendships? Lupo -- with a way to end all the
questions; the only price was my soul! He played it well, but
*not* *well* *enough*! Now, he and his lackeys will know what it
means to play games with Justice!
[Straite]
{lets the mild pop run out} Buuuuuuut -- Bobby Lupo came out and
said it wasn't him. *He* says that he saw an opportunity to make
you a member of the Syndicate, but that he didn't *create* that
opportunity. Now, let's think about this -- while Bobby Lupo's
many things -- a bad taste in associates, among others -- he's
still a businessman. And if he's going to put together a takeover
this big, like this was, he'd want to be pretty sure of a payout.
But let's face it: betting on you turning against your friends
is *not* a definite payout!
[Justice]
{darkly} What are you trying to say?
[Straite]
I'm saying that, this once, maybe Lupo's telling the truth!
Justice, I know you want to punish *someone* for what you went
through. And God knows, Lupo's a guy who should be punished for
something ... but not necessarily for what happened to *you*!
[Justice]
{upset, not quite coherent} But *someone* was affecting what
happened! It all fit ... Lupo showed up ... I was at my
weakest ... Who else could it be?!?
{Suddenly the loudspeaker sounds out...}
[Voice]: Strange you should mention God, Mr. Straite ...
{Gentle harp music plays as The Philosopher Mikhail Tzskova walks
through the curtain and onto the stage -- the crowd boos as he
walks onto the stage. He has a blue-tinged envelope in his hand.}
[Straite]
Oh, bloody ...
[Jurgens]: Yeah, I'd say that about covers it.
{Justice gets real focused real quick.}
[Philosopher]
Perhaps it *was* the God that the goodly Reverend Jeremiah James
kept talking of that led you to the point of decision, but I
doubt it. Perhaps it was the aptly named Robert Lupo that caused
your moment of truth, but, again, I doubt it.
You wonder within yourself what caused you to behave the way you
did. I ask you this ... this man you injured and put in the
hospital ... has he returned to wrestling? No. When you did what
you did, you passed the First Test: the test of Understanding ...
you may not have consciously meant it, but within yourself you
began to understand the true meaning of what I have been teaching
you ... and you used that lesson to teach the young man that
violence was not the way.
The Second Test was the shrugging of all things past, and you did
that when you liberated yourself by leaving the War Machine. He
was holding you to the past, trying to turn you from the Cause,
and you reacted just as I expected.
You wonder who led you *astray* from your missions. The correct
question should be ... who was leading you *to* your TRUE
missions? My question to you now, Brother Justice ... will you
pass the Third Test?
[Justice]
{angrier than before} Tests?!? TESTS?!!? I've spent months
separated from my friends, doing my best to turn the fans against
me and you call it a test??!! I INJURE a young man who's only
crime has been to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and
you think that's an ACHIEVEMENT??!?! {calms down slightly, but
still fuming} I remember the wrestlers you injured. I remember
you and your little doxy running whenever I showed up. I also
remember swearing to bring you down! You use what happen to me as
tests, as if ... {Justice stutters to a stop, as he realizes
something} you-- used-- you ... set me up ... {still seems
stunned by what he's just realized.}
[Philospher]
Ah ... anger. One shouldn't be angry. I mean you no harm. You
talk of tests. You dislike them. You fail to understand that
EVERYTHING is a test.
{The arena lights dim slightly as the strains of Handel's
"Hallelujah Chorus" ("For unto us a child is born" movement)
strikes up.}
[Philospher]
Ah ... it seems my friend has arrived.
{A spotlight targets Reverend Jeremiah James, who passes through
the curtains with arms outstretched and head bowed; he makes his
way to the ring at an even pace, not looking up until he reaches
the steps, at which point he lowers his arms and the lights
undim.}
[Straite]
{backs a still-stunned Justice to one side} Well, well ... if I
knew the whole gang would be here, I'd have selected appropriate
entrance music ... "Lunatic Fringe" sounds about right ...
{Reverend James steps slowly into the ring, and begins speaking
in a deep, calm voice that would most likely be inaudible were it
not for his lapel mike.}
[Reverend James]
Would that I could spare your sins or protect you from your own
words, Jerry Straite ... for it is written by the LORD that He
mocks a mocker, but shows favor to the humble. Know you that the
time of your own reckoning is indeed close at hand; the LORD
writes your fate unseen upon these walls: you have been weighed
and found wanting, and the days of your prideful scorn have been
numbered.
{You know that scorn he was talking about? It's written ALL OVER
Jerry's face at this moment. Justice, in the meantime, has
recovered, and actually looks composed.}
[James]
But the LORD can be merciful ... for the sake of one pure soul
He would have spared Sodom and Gomorrah, and now for the sake of
one man He may show His mercy within this wicked land. {He turns
to face Justice.} Purge your anger, you who call yourself Justice
... he that despises discipline also despises knowledge. Listen,
if you would be wise ... you seek a life of honor, and you
suffer. You seek to bring punishment to the guilty, and still you
suffer. You question the will that has brought you to this moment
-- and still you suffer.
{He folds one arm across his chest and extends the other towards
Justice, open handed.}
True justice belongs to the LORD, for he alone parts the
righteous from the wicked. Your suffering can end ... you *can*
deliver justice to this association ... if you but step onto the
path of the LORD ...
[Justice]
{who is, rather surprisingly, calm and quiet. He holds one hand
to his lips, and talks slowly} I do not know, exactly, where my
mission came from. I do know that I have always been driven. I do
what I must, but sometimes ... sometimes it gets to me. Now you
... you offer me a way to end the pain, end the doubts.
{The crowd's getting audibly antsy.}
[Justice]
And you tell me ... that I don't have to bear the burden of the
choices, that the judgements will be made ... and all I have to
do is enforce it. That would be soooo glorious; to sit at side of
He who knows right from wrong and to go forth and *smite* the
guilty.
{He's even beginning to talk like Rev. James. The crowd's really
nervous, and a few boos can be heard. Justice's gaze returns to
the ground.}
[Justice]
But our Lord is not here on Earth ... and I cannot see him and
ask him what is right and what is wrong. Instead, we trust His
Earthly agents to tell us what He wants. And when He does choose
His agent to speak to me, to tell me what to do ... IT SURE ...
AS HELL ... WOULDN'T ... BE ... YOU!!!
{The crowd ROARS, Straite grins, James merely stares coldly at
Justice, while Tszkova smiles at the outburst, and reaches into
his pocket to reveal the blue tinged envelope.}
[Justice]
I'VE SEEN what you two call JUSTICE, and I ... WILL ... STOP
YOU!!! AND IF I HAVE TO WALK THROUGH HELL TO DO IT, IF I AM
DAMNED FOR ALL *ETERNITY* FOR STANDING UP TO YOUR "TEACHINGS",
_THEN SO BE IT_!!!
{This scene freezes for a few moments, as nobody dares to move
but the crowd who are hooting and hollering ... Jerry finally
breaks the moment.}
[Straite]
Well, boys ... I do believe you've gotten your answer. Maybe
time for the two of you to toddle on now, eh? I don't think I
want to clean up any blood after my very first show.
[Tzskova]
It has been said that we go where we are not wanted. We go where
we are NEEDED, and you need us. Both of you need us very badly.
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It is a talk for another
time. This {holds out the envelope} is for you, Mr. Straite.
{Jerry takes the envelope from Tszkova with his free hand and
just looks at it.}
[Tzskova]
Go ahead, Mr. Straite ... go ahead and read for all of us ...
[Straite]
{hesitant, but curious} Ah, gee, you shouldn't've ... And here I
didn't get you anything. {Jerry opens the blue envelope, pulls
out the letter inside, and starts to read.}
"Jerry, as Justice did already ... can you pass the second test?
You tried to. You tried to break away from the past by coming to
the AWI. But now, your past is coming back to haunt you as most
often times it does."
Oh, gee, my past ... considering that can mean anybody from Tom
Carr to Giant Baba, you gotta give me a better clue 'n *that*!
{as Jerry finishes, a man in black jeans, a black ripped t-shirt
and a black mask jumps the ring divider from the audience and
slides into the ring ... he holds a chain in his right hand. He
stands behind Jerry visibly breathing heavily ... his veins can
be seen popping out of his forearms ...}
[Jurgens]: Uh, Jerry ... Jerry, you might want to turn
around ... you're about to make our generation look very
bad, Jerry ...
{Despite Stan's pleas, Jerry doesn't notice the man until it is
too late, when the masked man clubs Jerry over the head with a
double axe handle with the chains rapped around his fists ...
Justice turns but is leveled by Tszkova and James who batter him
to the mat with fists and stomps ... the crowd is jeering like
mad ... the masked man takes Jerry's mic from the mat.}
[Masked Man]
Your past has come back Jerry ... does this ring any bells for
you?
[Rocket]: Wait a minute ... I know that voice ... no, it
can't be ...
{the masked man starts whipping Jerry with the chains violently.}
[Masked Man]
Does it, Jerry? For I have come back to purge you for your sins,
Straite ... welcome to your hell!
{At this point the masked man takes off his mask to reveal
himself as none other than ...}
[Rocket]: It is! NICK VORPAL! This man nearly hospitalized
Jerry in the WOW!
[Esprit]: Looks like he's going to finish the job, Johnny!
{The fans boo tenaciously for this sick, sadistic display of
violence.}
[Esprit]: YAYY!! YAHOO!! BEAT THE--
[Rocket]: Kyle, get a hold of yourself ... this is
sickening!
[Jurgens]: Why couldn't we have started this virtual BS NEXT
week? If we were live ...
[NV]
Wait ... there's more ...
{Nick picks Jerry up by the hair and tilt-a-whirls him as so he
is in a tombstone position ... he pulls Jerry up though, onto his
shoulder and places his hands under Jerry's arms and lifts him up
in the air for a front face crucific shoulderslam ... Jerry
crashes hard to the canvas face-first onto the coiled chain.}
[Rocket]: NICK VORPAL HAS JUST TOMBSTONED STRAITE onto that
coiled chain! Jerry's face is a mess! Justice held back by
James and Tzskova -- being BEATEN by James and Tzskova --
Justice OH MY GOD! Tzskova has just locked on the Final Word
as James chokes Justice ... Straite TOMBSTONED AGAIN by
Vorpal on the chains, and here comes security from the back!
{A BUNCH of security officers rush out to the stage, as the
wicked trio let go of their victims ... the Reverend stops in the
aisle as Tskova grabs the mic and medics rush to the scene, and
they are cordoned off by the officers; he spreads his hands in
the air, bowing his head towards Justice.}
[James]
{Low, but with purpose.} And still, "Justice", you suffer ...
[Tzskova]
Pain is a very horrible thing to bear, but there is a Lesson
in it, a Test. Do you know what it is, Justice? You will.
{He drops the mic, and the three exit the arena.}
=================================================================
[Rocket]
That was horrible! James and his groupies set that whole thing
up from the start. They knew what was going to happen! It was
preplanned, and they need to be punished, fined, something for
what they did.
[Esprit]
Punished! They should win a Tony! That was the best stage
performance I've seen since they started _Cats_ on Broadway! If I
was a religious man, I'd say Praise the Lord ... but since I'm
not, I'll just say "Praise the Flock!"
[Jurgens]
I always told Jerry one of these days he was gonna be too old to
keep up. I just didn't think it would come this soon.
[Rocket]
I ... I don't want to talk about this right now. James has the
Feature match this evening, and I do believe if I know Justice,
that it will be served tonight on the "goodly" Reverend.
[Rocket]
Speaking of the Feature match, we have these comments from the
other participant ... the Awesome One.
=================================================================
{Open up to an attractive black male driving to the goal of an
otherwise empty basketball court. The male jumps from the bottom
of the key, pulls the basketball WAY back, and thunders in a hard
slam. As he lands on the ground, he retrieves the ball, and
starts to move closer to the camera. He appears to be somewhere
in the six foot, 220 or so range, with a bald head and goatee.
He wears a pair of Fubu shorts, the newest line Jordan
basketball shoes, and an Anfernee Hardaway Orlando Magic jersey.
Long-time AWI fans recognize him as "The Awesome One" Kerry
Masters. As Masters holds the ball, he walks toward and addresses
the camera.}
[Kerry Masters]
It's been a long time since I slammed a basketball on AWI TV. It
still feels pretty good.
AWI Television ... the epitome of production and quality in the
world of wrestling. The epitome of action on your TV set. The
epitome of competition and athletics in the world. And it's
ironic that, just when the action ... just when the competition
is at its best ...
{Clips of Chris Sim with the Crosshairs, Robbie Stevens with a
Wicked Awesome Superkick on Toshiaki Hasegawa, and the
Mississippi Kid pinning "Bulldog" Bryan Bachman for the Light
Heavyweight title}
... the Epitome of What Everyone Wants To Be returns.
This should be an interesting time. See... just as the AWI has
changed and grown ... the Awesome One has changed and grown. I
admit ... I did a few things in my last stay here that weren't
exactly honorable ...
{Clip of Dr. Hyde getting jumped by Masters ...}
I've manipulated people and taken advantage of them ...
{Clip of Masters challenging War Machine for the North American
title after a GRUELING match with Jack Fury; Clip of TAOKM
pinning an exhausted War Machine and holding the title above his
head ...}
I've said a few things I may regret ...
{Clip of Masters telling Jack Robertson "I'm not your pimp, so
stop calling out my name like you're my whore".}
Well ... I may not regret that one ... I mean, you have to admit
-- it /WAS/ pretty funny.
But anyway, just as the AWI has changed, so has The Man The
People Pay To See. Yes ... the phoenix is now dead ... and, has
arisen as {gasps dramatically} a /FAN FAVORITE/. {He, now
standing behind the three point line, shoots a three ... which
of course, flies in perfectly}.
I wish War Machine were here ... I'd love to see the look on his
face as I shook some hands and kissed some babies. {smiles}
My time in the FWA taught me alot. It taught me that ... ya know,
the fans may cheer a guy like me ... as long as I don't go /TOO/
far over the line. And, ya know, I like the fans cheering me.
It's quite the ego boost. And you /KNOW/ a humble man such as
myself needs every ego boost I could get.
So, the new beginning ... nay ... the new era of the AWI begins
tonight ... appropriately enough in the inaugural episode of AWI
Mission Control. And it begins with you, Reverend Jeremiah James.
The self-proclaimed savior of the AWI. Well, James ... I'd love
to exchange Bible verses with you ... but they just don't go
well with my charismatic verbiage. So, let's keep it short and
sweet. You say you're on a mission from God? That's good for you
... because if you're going to need Heaven's armies on your side
to get past me.
Reverend James ... the Flock ... Team Stevens ... the Syndicate
... Crystal Crow ... Jason Wrath ... heck, whoever wants to lose
both a war of words as well as a match to me ... take note. The
Epitome of What EVERYONE Wants To Be ... "The Awesome One" Kerry
Masters is back in the AWI. And this time around ... YOU'RE THE
TARGETS.
=================================================================
{And out to the studio, and into the ring}
[Kinsman]
The next match of the evening is a one fall, 10 minute bout.
Introducing first, already in the ring, from Detroit, Michigan
... Matthew Murdoch! {No crowd response.} And his opponent,
master of The Order of the Dragon, from the Celestial Temple of
the Orient ... JADE TIGER!!!
{Jade Tiger walks confidently down the aisle dressed in his
traditional jade colored robe with an embroidered tiger poised to
strike on the back. He grins incessantly batting away debris
tossed his way, badmouthing fans, and running down the West.}
[Rocket]: And the Jade Tiger making his way to ringside,
seeming terribly satisfied with himself.
[Esprit]: Why shouldn't he be? He's just proven himself to
be the second greatest manager in the entire AWI! They
should be showering him with cheers and money, not boos and
garbage ...
{After sliding through the ropes, Jade Tiger asks for the ring
mic.}
[Jade Tiger]
HA HA HA ... yes, you are all welcomed to watch me destroy this
fine American athlete. Do you hear me boy? I will hurt you just
because I can.
You represent what is corrupt in this country, look at the fat
about your middle! Look at your pimple-marked face! BAH! you are
soft because you revel in mediocrity, just like all these fans.
They do not recognize superiority when it presents itself.
Instead they cheer for the likes of Jerry Straite, Danny Boy
McGill, and yes ... Steve the Insane!
{JT pauses for the cheers to die down at the last one ... he has
to wait awhile, as a "Kick his a**, Stevey, kick his a**" chant
starts up}
[Jade Tiger]
Young boy, yes ... I can see in your eyes you want to be like
Steve the Insane, don't you? I did destroy his woman and cut his
heart out because he is weak, he lacked discipline to put Angela
Dante in her proper place. Discipline which I had to teach him
... and will teach you too! Prepare to cry a river like your
hero.
{Suddenly the lights in the arena go out, and Jade Tiger doesn't
miss a beat.}
[Jade Tiger]
Typical American craftsmanship. Some fat union worker
demonstrating his poor workmanship, honestly people how can you
expect to compete against the world when you cannot field a
competent workforce! Hmm? Come here little boy, here kitty-kitty-
kitty ... Jade Tiger has swift punishment for your misfortune of
being Occidental!
{As quickly as the lights went out, they come back on to see Jade
Tiger in a pose reminiscent of old women beckoning a a reluctant
cat to come indoors. He really doesn't have time to react as a
sharp *KRACK!* is heard as Steve the Insane, who is now in the
ring in place of Murdock, SLAM a chair right into the head of the
Tiger, and keeps hitting him as he falls. The crowd ERUPTS in
bloodthirsty cheers.}
[Crowd]: STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!
[Rocket]: Steve is {**KRACK**} just CRUSHING Jade {*KRACK*}
with the chair! Someone needs to-- {*KRACK*} Here comes the
Crystal {*KRACK*} Crow down the {*KRACK*} ring, and--
[Esprit]: SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING! WHY CAN'T THEY GET
THE POLICE IN THERE! THEY'VE GOTTA SAVE JADE TIGER!
[Jurgens]: Remember when I said I wish we were still in the
arena? I was young and foolish then ...
{Crow jumps on the apron, only to be slammed with the chair by
StI and knocked off it.}
[Rocket]: And Steve continues this crazed assault on the
Tiger! {*KRACK*} Crystal Crow is {*KRACK!!!!!!*}-- He's HIT
FULL FORCE! LOOK AT THAT DENT!!! Crow is down, and it looks
like he's out! Jade Tiger is still struggling, though, and
Steve the Insane nails him again, and he stops.
[Crowd]: {Mousketeer style} S-T-E, V-E-I, N-S-A-N-E!
[Esprit]: Those people make me sick! What kind of cretins
are they?
[Jurgens]: People with wives, and daughters, and mothers,
and sisters?
[Esprit]: What about the ones with mothers-in-law or exes?
[Jurgens]: Leave my ex out of this.
[Rocket]: Here comes security now, who are having a busy
night tonight ... AND STEVE NAILS ONE OF THE SECURITY
OFFICERS AS HE ENTERS THE RING!!!
[Esprit & Jurgens]: Uh-oh.
[Rocket]: There goes the referee, who had been keeping out
of the destruction, as Steve is hitting anything that enters
the ring. I can't make out what he's screaming, though.
[Esprit]: Allow me -- I happen to be an expert in Yappian
... he's saying, "Somebody shoot me now, I'm a poor dumb
rabid animal" ... honest.
[Rocket]: Oh. He's just screaming. I don't think he's saying
anything.
[Jurgens]: Well, technically, he's saying,
"RAIIIIIIGGGHHHHH!!!!!"
[Esprit]: OW! You're paying my ear specialist!
[Rocket]: Steve is still holding off the security officers.
We need to take a break. We'll be right back after this ...
=================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
=================================================================
[Rocket]
A few minutes after the video footage you just saw, Steve the
Insane finally dropped the chair, walked out of the ring, and was
escorted out of the arena by security. He didn't give a fight at
all to them, and in fact seemed to be pretty happy. Crow, after
that vicious shot to the head, was sent to the local hospital,
where he was released the same night after 7 stitches to the
head. Jade Tiger, even though he took over 6 hits by a steel
chair, was seemingly not seriously hurt, and was not admitted to
the emergency room.
I'll admit it: I was glad to see Steve the Insane do what he did.
After the Jade Tiger and Dream Succubus did what they did to
Steve and Angela Dante, JT deserved it.
[Esprit]
WHAT?! What kind of sick message are you sending to the kids out
there! Steve's an ANIMAL -- a MONSTER -- he beat up an INNOCENT
old man, not to mention AWI /security/ ... they oughta lock him
up and throw the key to Jade Tiger!
[Jurgens]
I think Kyle may actually have a point ... Steve's done crossed
a line, and I'm not sure there's any cross-backs.
[Rocket]
Well, we have other fish to fry, gentlemen ... and to help us
light the fire, we have with us tonight the Chairman of the AWI
Competition Committee, Roswell Gates. Welcome to Mission Control,
Mr. Gates.
{A thin, exceedingly well-dressed man with aquiline features and
tinted wire-rimmed glasses comes out; he shakes Rocket's hand,
but does not sit down.}
[Gates]
Thank you, Mr. Rocket.
[Rocket]
You have an announcement about the upcoming Pay per view,
correct, Mr. Gates?
[Gates]
That is indeed the case. As I'm sure you all know, the AWI has
always intended that the Union Pay-per-View, as our anniversary
of incorporation, be uncontestably the best show the AWI -- or
any other federation -- has to offer in the year ... and believe
me, this year we wish it to be no exception. During the last
meeting of the Competition Committee, we compiled and finalized
the list of pay-per-view events to occur this year, and the years
to come. We have made some changes, with which we intend to
propel the AWI into the future of sports entertainment.
In order to maintain the integrity of Union, both in terms of
drama and promotion, we have delayed the event until April 21,
1998. We will be adding a new set of pay-per-view events to
supplement the current schedule, which will be known as
"International Incidents" -- each of the year's four
International Incidents will be held in a venue outside of the
United States, to take advantage of and better service the AWI's
wealth of fans worldwide. The first International Incident will
be held on Fedruary 22, 1998, at the Molsen Arena in Toronto,
Ontario, Canada.
We have currently secured the following contracts for this
inaugural event: the Fallen Angel versus Sara Victory, for the
Women's Championship; Intensive Care versus Perfection, for the
World Tag Team Championship; Firestorm versus Dream Succubus --
Miss Dante was adamant about signing this contract despite her
condition -- for the Women's Tag Team Championship; the Crystal
Crow versus Jerry Straite, for the North American Championship;
the final match of the North American Tag Team Championship
tournament, yet to be determined; and "Ringmaster" Dacia
Blackthorne versus "Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston.
[Rocket]
Thanks for the information, Mr. Gates. We'll be right back after
this ...
================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK
================================================================
[Rocket]
Our next match actually occurred at the beginning of last week,
in an AWI Armageddon taping ... it was Robbie Stevens and his
protege Corey Bonham, a.k.a. "Headbangers 2001", against the
exciting new team of Cross Body, facing off in the North American
Tag Team Championship tournament -- the producers ran out of
time, but the cameras kept rolling, and we can bring you that
footage now right here on Mission Control!
================================================================
Match joined in progress
[Rocket]: Robbie Stevens not surprisingly starting in the
ring with the big man, Waylon Templar ...
{The two lock up in a collar-elbow tieup -- Robbie breaks it
with a cheap shot to the eyes.}
[Rocket]: AGAIN not surprising ...
{He grabs Waylon by the front of his tights and falls back,
sending Templar into the turnbuckle.}
[Rocket]: Robbie with an irish whip ... he's NOT going
any further, though, as Waylon grabs him and whips him
to the opposite turnbuckles!
[Esprit]: Which he wouldn't have thought of by himself --
he's just stealing Robbie's strategy!
[Rocket]: Robbie bounces back -- and right into a bodyslam!
And another typical Robbie tactic, a shot below the belt.
[Esprit]: Typical in that nobody else in the ring thought of
it, or typical in that it worked?
{Robbie attempts a dropkick, but Waylon backpedals out of the
way, and Stevens hits the mat. Waylon closes in, but Robbie
legsweeps him from the mat, and then rolls to his knees to hit
him with a closed fist punch. As they return to their feet,
Templar scoops up Robbie for a bodyslam.}
[Rocket]: The POWER of the Paladin -- Robbie's looking VERY
hurt!
{Waylon drags him up and sends him to the ropes; Robbie slides
under the ropes and out of the ring. He rests for a moment,
holding his back; he looks directly at a nearby camera.}
[Stevens]
Hey, what ever happened to 'love thy neighbor'?!?
{He scrambles back up on to the ring apron.}
[Rocket]: Robbie's back in the ring -- and Waylon whips him
crashing back into the Cross-Body corner! He tags in Isaiah,
who's going up top ...
{A drop toehold by Waylon sets Robbie up for a moonsault legdrop.}
[Rocket]: MAJOR moonsault action from he what flies with the
angels!
[Esprit]: Isn't one of the Commandments "Thou Shalt Not Show
Off?"
[Jurgens]: Eh, wrong Bible there, Kyle. I think that's from
Scientology.
{Isaiah pulls Robbie up, and Robbie slaps him}
[Stevens]
C'mon, turn the other cheek! {slaps him again}
[Jurgens]: I'd have bet anything that wouldn't work.
{Robbie whips Isaiah to the ropes, and rebounds from the opposite
side to take down O'Brien with a Lou Thesz press.}
[Rocket]: Referee makes the count: 1-- no, not even! Looks
like Robbie's out of tricks for the moment, as he's tagging
in Corey ...
[Jurgens]: This ought to be good -- a technical display from
a long-haired rutabaga.
{Corey stomps on O'Brien, then hits him in the ribs with a turning
kick as he stands up; Isaiah replies with a dropkick of his own.
He climbs the turnbuckles, and leaps off with a flying clothesline
as Corey is getting up, then tags in Waylon.}
[Esprit]: I can't believe all the cheating Cross Body's doing
here -- half of their tags have been phony, you know.
[Rocket]: Don't start ...
{Waylon grabs Corey, who drives him off with a shot below the
belt, then slams Templar headfirst into the turnbuckle. Waylon
shakes it off, and scoops him up for a press slam.}
[Rocket]: Waylon presses him HIGH into the air! AND DOWN TO
THE MAT!
[Jurgens]: Corey /has/ to prove he's being underestimated
here, or he'll be in real trouble. If Cross Body doesn't
have a reason to take him seriously, they'll just keep
assuming the next move's illegal and act accordingly, which
is taking away any advantage the Headbangers might put
together.
{Corey staggers to his feet, and the Paladin sends him to the
ropes, then rushes to the opposite side, but it's Corey who gets
the clothesline. Corey keeps his momentum, rebounding from the
other side to return with a double-foot stomp.}
[Rocket]: RIB CRUSHER STOMP! That HAD to hurt ...
{Corey drops to the mat and locks on head scissors ... Waylon
chops his way out, only to take another shot to the eyes, and a
dropkick as he tries to stagger his way back up.}
[Jurgens]: That's exactly what I'm talking about. Now let's
hope he doesn't do something brain-dead to muck it up.
[Esprit]: What's THAT supposed to mean? Way Cool Jr. is a
CONSUMMATE professional, a credit to his sport!
[Rocket]: Well, the credit to his sport just missed a knee
drop coming off the ropes -- and Waylon makes the tag! Isaiah
hopping to the top in the blink of an eye, and --
Moooooonsault! But Corey kicks out before the counts ... and
keeps Isaiah on the mat with another scissorlock.
[Esprit]: See? We've seen breath-taking agility, canny
scientific technique, fearless mix-it-up brawling ... Corey's
got it all!
[Jurgens]: We've seen a couple lucky moves, Kyle.
[Esprit]: Yeah, all this and luck too!
{Isaiah finally breaks the lock, and Corey pokes him in the face,
then levels him with a drop kick as he tries to regain his
footing. He tries another kneedrop, and misses again.}
[Rocket]: Corey apparently considers this a sign, as he tags
Robbie back in ...
[Jurgens]: Who's probably looking about as forward to
re-entering the ring as he would be to showering in San
Quentin.
{Robbie rushes in with a punch, followed by an eye gouge; he
attempts a bodyslam, but O'Brien blocks him. He tries again,
and Isaiah rolls him into a small package: 1 ... 2 ... Robbie
snags a handful of hair to get out!
[Jurgens]: That may explain that whole sack-cloth and
shaven-head thing, if HB2K1 pulls this off.
[Rocket]: Isaiah's not letting him off easy -- there's the
wakigatme armbar, the same move that put down Perry Toxic!
[Esprit]: Yeah, but Robbie Stevens is no mere Toxic Twin!
[Jurgens]: Yeah -- he can scream for his mommy in four
languages.
{Robbie drags himself out as quickly as he can, but Isaiah grabs
him with a headlock, and pulls him to the corner for a tag to
Waylon.}
[Rocket]: DOUBLE DDT!!! Waylon has Robbie back on his feet,
and sends him to the ropes -- what is Corey doing?!?
[Jurgens]: Something bad, I'm assuming?
{Robbie hits Waylon on the rebound, and Waylon goes down HARD.}
[Rocket]: BIG punch from Robbie-- waitaminute ... I think
Robbie's got something in his hand! No wonder the Paladin
is so slow to recover -- I think we've just seen a Memphis
Special!
[Esprit]: No way, not a chance! Robbie's a fine, upstanding
competitor, and anyway he's not from Memphis! That's just
his classic martial arts training in action!
[Rocket]: Stevens adopting his trademark "karate" pose -- if
you ask me, I think the closest he's come to any formal
training is Chinese take-out ... but there it is nonetheless
-- the SUPERKICK!!!
[Esprit]: The "Wicked Awesome" Superkick, Johnny -- let's
not get sloppy.
[Rocket]: Robbie making a confident cover -- but Waylon's up
before one!
{Robbie tags in Bonham, who bearhugs the big man; Waylon breaks
out, and Corey front facelocks him, pausing for a moment before
dropping him with a DDT.
[Rocket]: A stomp to the head, with that decidedly
NON-regulation boot! And again! Brandie Mulroney is having
words with "Way Cool, Jr." -- apparently, she has her own
suspicions about the legality of that boot! Corey seems
undaunted, and drops a knee to the head.
[Jurgens]: I think Corey's making a mistake ignoring her --
that's likely to be as much attention from a woman as he'll
get all year.
{Bonham pushes Templar into the Team Stevens corner, and then
shoves his head into the turnbuckle.}
[Rocket]: Turnbuckle smash, and now Corey-- he turns around?
He's talking to Brandie Mulroney -- what IS he up to now?
[Esprit]: Socializing -- he's just taking Stan's advice!
[Jurgens]: He's on a screen, Kyle, he can't even hear us!
[Esprit]: That didn't stop you from trying to warn Jerry.
[Jurgens]: It was worth a shot.
[Rocket]: OH, NO! Robbie nails Waylon from behind the ropes
with that fist load -- Corey's satisfied with his deceit,
and turns back to give the Paladin a pair of side kicks to
the ribs ... but Waylon grabs him and whips him to the
opposite corner of the ring! AND THERE'S THE TAG!!!
[Jurgens]: If Waylon has that much left after playing target
dummy for Robbie's toy collection like that, the 'Bangers
are in DEEP trouble.
[Esprit]: Have faith, Stan -- Robbie won't be outthought by
a couple of lugs like Cross Body!
[Jurgens]: Out-thought, maybe not. Out-FOUGHT's a whole
other story.
{Isaiah ducks to the center of the ring, and starts a handspring;
Corey rolls out of the way, and Isaiah collides with the
turnbuckles. Bonham grabs him around the chest, and gives him a
belly to belly suplex. He then locks on head scissors.}
[Jurgens]: If I didn't know better, I'd think Corey was
clock-watching.
{Isaiah gets out of the hold; Corey makes it to his feet first,
and tries to stomp on Isaiah, but O'Brien ducks out of the way,
then jumps up to dropkick Corey. He climbs the top rope and jumps
off with a flying clothesline. He then climbs up top again.}
[Rocket]: Isaiah determined to repeat his high flying attack
... MOONSAUL-- NO!!! Nothing but mat! Once to the well too
often!
[Jurgens]: Robbie HAS to get Corey to capitalize here if he
wants to walk out without a loss.
{Corey shakes off his daze and grabs O'Brien in a front facelock,
grinding it twice before snapping it into a DDT! He tries to
stomp on Isaiah, but again Isaiah rolls away, and gets up -- just
in time for a Corey kick to the lower body. Corey whips Isaiah
into the ropes, and rebounds from the opposite side, to catch
O'Brien with a a clothesline. He follows with a knee drop, but
O'Brien rolls aside again.}
[Jurgens]: Dump Corey, Robbie ... Chad Swayze was a more
focussed partner, for pete's sake.
[Rocket]: Corey recovers his momentum in his usual fashion
-- an illegal shot at the eyes!
{Corey drags Isaiah back to his feet for a standing drop kick.
As he closes for more abuse, Isaiah armdrags him to the mat.
Corey recovers quickly, pulling O'Brien into a front facelock;
Isaiah escapes, and Corey switches to head scissors. O'Brien
breaks again, and Bonham abandons the holds for a sharp kick to
the side. He picks up O'Brien and throws him to the ropes -- but
O'Brien comes back with a jumping lariat.}
[Jurgens]: I almost feel sorry for Junior there ... he's
actually starting to have some success keepin' Cross Body on
the mat ... but this ain't a match where you can afford to
waste any time.
[Esprit]: See? See? This whole match should be fought under
protest -- it's under unfair conditions!
[Rocket]
{Isaiah puts Corey in the corner and backs off; he starts a
handspring rush, but Corey rolls aside.}
[Rocket]: Corey gloats to see Isaiah eat the corner post
again ... and maybe that cost him, as O'Brien hiptosses him
hard out of the corner -- and tags in Waylon!
{Waylon lifts Corey on his shoulders as Isaiah climbs the ropes;
O'Brien jumps off to hit Corey with a flying somersault diamond
cutter.}
[Rocket]: THE LAST NAIL!!! Waylon makes the cover, as Robbie
enters the ring looking to make the save -- 1 ... 2 ...
Isaiah dropkicks Robbie! THRE-- no, the referee breaks the
count! Corey has a foot on the ropes!
[Jurgens]: If Corey was a cat, he'd be approaching double
digits in lives right now ...
{Waylon headlocks Corey, and drags him to his feet, as Brandie
ushers their partners out of the ring. He lifts up Corey on his
shoulders, and falls backwards to slam him to the mat.}
[Rocket]: ELECTRIC CHAIR SUPLEX! Another cover: 1 ... 2 ...
but Corey kicks out!
{Corey tags in Robbie, who steps into the ring just in time to
get scooped up in a bodyslam by Waylon. Robbie stands back up,
and Waylon grabs his head, dropping him with a DDT. Waylon whips
him to the corner, and follows him in with a leaping avalanche.
As Robbie staggers out of the corner, Waylon slaps on a sleeper.}
[Jurgens]: Well, Robbie can at least /dream/ he won this
match.
[Esprit]: I'm TELLING you, this is all part of his master
plan!
{Robbie breaks out of the hold, but Waylon responds with a full
nelson suplex.}
[Rocket]: Robbie is beginning to look on his last legs, as
Waylon makes the tag ... he lifts Stevens up -- AND THE LAST
NAIL!!! Isaiah makes the cover this time, as Waylon leaves
the ring ... 1 ... 2 ... AND ROBBIE KICKS OUT!
[Jurgens]: Apparently, his master plan is to take the
beating of his life.
{Isaiah climbs the turnbuckles, and jumps off for a moonsault:
1 ... 2 ... and Robbie still gets a shoulder up. Both men get to
their feet; a dropkick from Isaiah puts Robbie back down. Isaiah
tags out, and Waylon enters, lifting Robbie on his shoulders
while Isaiah climbs up top again.}
[Rocket]: THE LAST NAIL--no, wait, Brandie's too close! She
gets edged by Isaiah as he flies past!
[Esprit]: What were you saying about the master plan, Stan?
[Rocket]: Oh, surely you can't claim that was intentional!
[Esprit]: Hey, she's not exactly wearing spike heels in
there to trip on!
[Rocket]: Robbie's on his feet -- and it's another Memphis
Special for Templar!
{Robbie drags Waylon to his corner, as Isaiah seems to be trying
to help Mulroney recover her senses.}
[Rocket]: And now Robbie and Corey in a foreign object
assault on the Paladin, Robbie punching away with a loaded
fist while Corey kicks with a loaded boot ... now Robbie's
leaving the ring, letting Corey handle Waylon alone ... but
Waylon explodes with a clothesline, escaping the trap!!!
[Esprit]: Uh-oh ... c'mon, Robbie, tell me your plan has a
contingency for this ...
{Waylon makes the tag to Isaiah, and they double-dropkick Corey.
Waylon heads outside while Isaiah climbs the ropes, jumping off
to hit Corey with a solo flying somersault diamond cutter.}
[Rocket]: The Serpent's Tooth!!! 1 ... 2 ... THREEE!!!
They've done it! Cross Body will advance in the tournament
... but LOOK OUT!
>>RINGSIDE<<
{Close-up of the Toxic Twins sliding into the ring, charging
Cross Body from behind even as the referee is lifting their hands
in victory.}
[Rocket]: I can't believe thi-- no, scratch that: I can
believe this kind of backstabbing all too well from the
Toxics ...
[Esprit]: How dare you abuse their character like that! This
isn't backstabbing ... I'm assuming they'll concentrate
mostly on the ribs and shoulders.
[Rocket]: Robbie ducks out quickly -- probably a wise
decision, given that Tamara and her boys are none too fond
of him, either -- as Cross Body does their best to hold off
this brawling assault from the Toxics ... but -- another two
men run into the ring -- and they're taking on the Toxics!!!
[Esprit]: Now what sick individual would be demented enough
to HELP Cross Body?
[Rocket]: I have no idea who these newcomers are, but they
are laying into the Twins like men possessed ... if I'm not
mistaken ... one of them looks like ... Power, of the Real
Americans?!?
[Jurgens]: Say ... I think you're right! But where's Glory,
and who's the black guy, then?
[Esprit]: Power, what are you doing?! You should be HELPING
the Toxics, not stopping them! Oh, how the mighty have
fallen {sniff}.
[Rocket]: The Toxics do a little math, and decide four on
two, even with half of the four worn down, is not in their
gameplan ... in any case, they've sent their message -- and
now we have to take time off for some other messages ...
=================================================================
{The electronic notes of the "Dr. WHO" theme cue up as we fade
into a starfield, flanked on each side by a scrolling line of
unbroken film images that move towards the viewer as if the
camera were zooming between the walls of a hallway; the images
show two masked wrestlers performing a variety of different
wrestling maneuvers. A face wearing a black and white mask
somewhat resembling a skull appears in the distance between the
"walls" and slowly floats towards the camera; as it reaches a
point nearly filling the screen, it dissolves to a different
mask, one covered with circuit-like patterns, which slowly
recedes into the distance. As it disappears into "space", the
camera tilts up out of the "hallway" to display the words
"F U T U R E S H O C K" in high-tech silvered lettering, as
an voice distorted by electronic warble (akin to the Daleks)
can be heard.}
[Voice]: There is no time to prepare ...
================================================================
COMMERCIAL BREAK: AWI Explosion '98 for Sony Playstation or N64,
coming soon ... I did mention GODZILLA, Memorial Day, already,
right? ... Foster's: Australian for beer ...
================================================================
[Rocket]
... no, I don't know why they keep changing the PPV. I'm not in
charge around here ... OH! We're back!
[Esprit]
See, Rocket, if you had a manager, you wouldn't make mental
mistakes like that.
[Rocket]
Um ... let's go to the main event of the evening.
================================================================
[Kinsman]
Our MAIN EVENT of the evening is a one fall match with TV time
remaining. Introducing first, from Salem, Massachusetts ... and
accompanied to the ring by "The Philosopher", Mikhail Tzskova
... he stands 6'4" and weighs 258 pounds ... REVEREND JEREMIAH
JAMES!!!!
{Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus" plays, and the crowd brings its
biggest boo of the night. James, complete with blonde hair and
brown goatee, enters the ring, nodding a quiet blessing to the
booing crowd and otherwise giving no recognition to them.
Tzskova walks behind him, showing off his velvet belts with a
freshly sewn "J" on it, next to "CM" and "SM". As they reach
the ring, Reverend James hops on the apron and turns to address
the crowd.}
[Reverend James]
Let us pray, my congregation ... {raises his hands above his head
and bows his head.} This night, the LORD continues to call to his
prodigal son, to the man who calls himself "Justice" ... let it
be known that it is for his sake that the LORD's hand, in the
form of the Reverend Jeremiah James, does do battle ... for once,
the man who will soon enter this arena was served the "justice"
of mortal men, and to what end? Still, this man walks among the
good and the innocent, still he continues the sins for which this
"justice" was desired. Tonight, he shall receive the TRUE
justice, the justice of the LORD, and sin no more ... such is the
will of the LORD. Amen.
{He steps into the ring and begins divesting himself of his
rings, while the Kinsman continues.}
[Kinsman]
And his opponent ...
{The music begins with a loud Prince scream, signifying "Gett
Off" by Prince. The crowd jumps to their feet.}
[Kinsman]
He stands 6'0" and 220 pounds ... and is a former AWI North
American Heavyweight Champion ... please welcome back to the AWI
... The AWESOME ONE ... KERRY MASTERS!!!
{Masters walks into the entrance ramp, stands there as the
fireworks explode around him, and takes in the crowd cheers.
Smiling, he walks to the ring.}
[Kinsman]
Your referee is Clay Evans. {The bell sounds.}
[Rocket]: Masters is still posing for the-- JAMES WITH A
choke ... INTO A CHOKESLAM!!! WOW!!!
[Esprit]: Time to say grace ... "Oh Lord, we thank you for
the beating Kerry is about to receive ... please make it a
bountiful beating."
[Rocket]: That was devastating, and clearly hurt Masters, as
he is rolling around the ring now holding his neck. His body
just bounced off that ring in a very unnatural angle.
[Jurgens]: That would be with the mouth closed, right?
{Short arm clothesline by James; keeping hold of Kerry's arm, he
whips Kerry to the ropes. Kerry ducks a clothesline as they
cross, grabbing James's arm quickly for an armbar. He wraps his
free arm around James's head, but James grabs him by the neck and
chokeslams him again.}
[Jurgens]: This may be goin' out on a limb, but I'm guessin'
that wasn't the result Kerry was after.
{James picks up Masters, and tosses him out of the ring.}
[Rocket]: Masters lands right on his head on the concrete!!!
His head and neck have got to be REALLY hurting, and this
isn't good for the start of the match.
[Jurgens]: I think Kerry could be in real trouble. He's gone
too soft to be his old connivin', schemin' self ... but he's
still not one of those chuckleheads like McGill or Justice,
which in this case is a /bad/ thing -- he doesn't trust the
crowd to stay behind him, which means he doesn't have that
confidence he needs to take on a man like James.
[Esprit]: He's missing something else -- TALENT! You're
looking at a man who tells the angels where to tread, a fire
and brimstone bruiser, and Kerry's getting in there with
nothin' more than a season's worth of ring rust. That's
GOTTA be a sin SOMEWHERE in the Good Book ...
{James walks out of the ring, as the Philosopher, noting the
referee staring right at him, decides to move out of the way.
James picks up the hurting Masters, and attempts an irish whip,
but Masters reverses it; James stops short of the railing, and
gives Masters a European Uppercut for the trouble.}
[Jurgens]: Yep. He's in real trouble. Even when he's on his
game, he's off his game.
[Rocket]: James picks up Masters ... going for a fallaway--
asters slides out the back ... SAVATE KICK on James!
[Esprit]: ILLEGAL! Loaded boot!
[Rocket]: Loaded? It barely staggered the Reverend!
[Esprit]: Just getting it noted in the record ...
{Masters gets James back in the ring, and climbs to the top
turnbuckle. He jumps off to attempt a flying thrust kick.}
[Rocket]: AWESOME AERIAL ATT-- AND JAMES MOVES OUT OF THE
WAY, as Masters slams into the mat! He went for it a little
too early, as James was nowhere near where Masters was
aiming. BIG BOOT by James as Kerry stands up!
[Jurgens]: I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but-- snap out
of it, Kerry! This ain't a musclebound oaf like that FWA guy
-- this here's a calculatin' creature, and he's going to
calculate your shoulders to the mat if you don't start
out-thinkin' him.
[Esprit]: I resent that last remark!
[Jurgens]: Later.
[Rocket]: Masters JUMPS TO HIS FEET!!! Dropkick by Kerry, as
the big boot didn't seem to affect him at all! And a BLATANT
low blow by the Awesome One gets him a referee in the face,
which is ignored ... JUMPING LEG LARIAT BY KERRY MASTERS!!!
[Esprit]: Maybe there's hope for Masters after all ... all
he needs is a good--
[Rocket]: Don't say it.
[Esprit]: --hospital, after James gets through with him!
{Kerry grabs the Reverend's arm for a single-arm DDT.}
[Rocket]: Kerry hit that beautifully!!! James is now the one
rolling around in pain! Uh-oh ... Nick Vorpal is now making
his way down to ringside, and is now standing beside the
Philosopher. Three against one is not very good odds, even
if you are "Awesome."
[Esprit]: And if you're merely Yawnsome like Masters, it
means you're going to get your limbs yanked out of their
sockets and used as hymnal stands.
{Masters climbs up top, and leaps off, only to be caught by the
Reverend and thrown into a belly to belly suplex.}
[Jurgens]: For the love of ... Kerry needs to hook back up
with the 'Queen. He'd never have gone for that move with her
on the outside ... SOMEBODY needs to tell that boy, he's got
to get the Reverend on the mat, wear him down, make him lose
that smug look ... 'course, a chair'd do the same thing, but
I don't think the ref'd let that slide.
{James drops an elbow, but Masters rolls aside.}
[Rocket]: James hits mat as Masters moves out of the way ...
how in the world did he do that after getting suplexed like
that?
{Masters and James both get to their feet; Masters throws another
shot below the belt, and follows it with a somersault leg drop.}
[Rocket]: WOW!! That connected perfectly!
[Esprit]: Yeah, but James is winning the battle of the soul
... if Masters can't beat him without being the old Kerry
Masters, this is probably the last time they'll ever have to
wrestle ... this time next year, Kerry will be directing the
choir for the Flock.
{Masters lifts James to a headlock; he attempts a DDT, but the
Reverend pushes him away, and then locks a bearhug on the
surprised Masters -- who begins punching wildly at the head of
James. James releases the hold; Masters charges him with a
running clothesline, but James ducks and pushes Masters through
the ropes.}
[Esprit]: YES! Kerry, meet the congregation!
[Rocket]: MASTERS GRABS THE ROPES, and pulls himself into
the ring ... INTO A JAMES CLOTHESLINE!!!
=================================================================
{Replay: James tosses him out of the ring, but Master holds on to
the ropes, pulling himself back in, only to be completely turned
around by James and a running clothesline.}
=================================================================
{James picks up Kerry, and lifts him for a fallaway slam, but
Kerry hops over his shoulders; as James turns around to face him,
Kerry leaps into a sunset flip: 1 ... IMMEDIATE kick out by
James.}
[Rocket]: WHAT a counter by Masters!
[Jurgens]: Even I'll admit it--I'm impressed with Masters's
resiliency. It's obvious he's still as cocky as ever -- he's
wrestling James with no warmups and apparently no scouting
--but he still manages to take beating after beating and
come up with moves like that.
{Masters rakes James in the eyes, and the locks him into an
armbar.}
[Rocket]: The referee again giving him an ear-- LOW BLOW by
Masters, and I think he did that just to show the referee
how little he cared about his warnings!
{Masters dropkicks the Reverend, then DDTs him while he's getting
back to his feet.}
[Jurgens]: The Reverend's lost control of this match ... I'm
thinking, maybe HE forgot to scout Masters, too -- you can't
wrestle the Awesome One like Justice. You have to mix in a
little Steve the Insane, and a little Chris Sim.
[Rocket]: Masters indeed in control, and he takes the
opportunity to do a little posing for the crowd ... STANDING
MOONSAULT by Kerry Masters!!! That's his "Epitome Press"!
1 ... 2 ... Kickout by James.
[Esprit]: James dodged a bullet on THAT illegal move!
[Jurgens]: ILLEGAL? What, did Masters have a loaded navel?!
[Esprit]: Of course not -- don't be silly ... he pulled the
tights.
[Rocket]: He did no such thing ... and now Masters is headed
for the top rope ... he could be going for his "Awesome
Ending" Sunset Flip.
[Jurgens]: Or he might NOT be ... this is what makes Masters
dangerous up top. He's not the aerial equal of a Sim or
Asylum, but he isn't limited to one specialty from the
turnbuckle -- you never know just how he's coming off.
[Rocket]: He's at the top ... AND HE JUMPS OFF THE TOP AT
TZSKOVA!!! TZSKOVA MOVES OUT OF THE WAY, and Masters
stun-guns himself on the ringside railing!!!
[Jurgens]: I'm tempted to call that a fatal mistake, but you
gotta admit it was gutsy -- he had to know the Flock would
interfere at some point, so why not try and get the drop on
them? But with three people to deal with, that's just too
many eyes for surprise.
[Rocket]: Masters isn't moving ... he really hurt himself
there ... James is making it to his feet ... as Tzskova and
Vorpal toss Masters back in the ring ... James covers ...
this one is over ... 1 ... 2 ...
[Esprit]: THREE! YES! YES!
[Rocket]: NO!
[Esprit]: WHAT?!
[Rocket]: MASTERS KICKS OUT!!! OH MY ... how in the world?
[Jurgens]: If I have to swallow my words one more time this
match, I'll have to skip lunch. That boy's tougher than a
Texas parole board.
[Rocket]: James seems a little surprised as well, but he's
not pausing to marvel at it ...
{James raises Masters to his feet, puts Masters' head between his
legs, then lifts him up into a crucifix-like position before
slamming him down to the mat in a powerbomb.}
[Rocket]: The "CROSS OF BURDENS"!!! 1 ... 2 ... AND MASTERS
KICKS OUT **AGAIN**!!!!!!
[Esprit]: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!
[Jurgens]: I'm startin' to hurt just watchin' this ...
[Rocket]: Masters is slumped down on the mat like a wet
rag ...
{James with a backbreaker, and ANOTHER cover: 1 ... 2 ...}
[Rocket]: AND ANOTHER KICKOUT!!
[Esprit]: He can't keep this up forever ... the Reverend
must be dragging this out! Yeah, that's it -- he wants
Masters to feel the wrath of sinners in the hand of an angry
God, or something like that!
{James calmly brings him to his feet, but Masters stops him with
a shot right to the groin.}
[Rocket]: DDT BY MASTERS!!! Where did he get the strength?
ANOTHER EPITOME PRESS BY KERRY!!! 1 ... 2 ... KICKOUT BY
JAMES!
[Esprit]: See? See? Even when he cheats, he's just
prolonging the inevitable! I hope the Queen IS watching
this! It's probably HER fault he's such a mess!
[Rocket]: We are seeing two men who just won't give up ...
Masters is still reeling, and he is shakingly making his way
up to the top rope as James struggles to his feet ...
Tzskova has jumped on the apron, and is talking to the ref
... AND VORPAL PUSHES MASTERS OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!
{The bell sounds.}
[Rocket]: Apparently, the ref saw what Vorpal did, and calls
for the disqualification.
[Esprit]: DQ'd! But why? I'm sure Vorpal's fully certified
as a lay worker!
[Jurgens]: You might be right at that -- he certainly just
laid Masters out.
[Rocket]: But the damage is done, as Masters is sprawled on
the mat, at the mercy of the three members of the Flock ...
Tzskova crosses himself, lifts Masters's legs, and ... FINAL
WORD ON KERRY MASTERS!!! Ref calling for the bell again, but
the Flock isn't hearing of it ... AND HERE COMES JUSTICE
WITH A CHAIR TO CLEAR THE RING! The Flock head for safer
ground ... we're out of time here ... we'll see you on
Armageddon!!!
=================================================================
This work copyright © 1998 by Allied Sports Enterprises. Allied
Wrestling International is a member of the Summit Wrestling
Alliance; permission is given to distribute or rebroadcast AWI
footage in cooperation with Summit Wrestling events.
"FOX" logo is a registered trademark of 20th Century Fox, used
without permission for purposes of parody; no actual association
between the writers and CBS should be inferred. "Promotional"
trademarks likewise used without permission or affiliation for
purposes of parody.
Written by Eric Roy and Bryce Berggren, in cooperation with the
players of Allied Wrestling International.
================================================================= (
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