Once upon a time, in a strange and dark netherworld of winding paths and purple chasms called Dorkfae, there lived an evil and wicked queen named Arantia. So great was her evil that her reputation was known in all the corners of all the lands above her own, from the pathetic pink palace of TirNaSnog to the frigid wastes of Chilldom.
She was feared and dreaded, mostly by those jealous of her powers. Arantia, often peeved at the demands placed upon her to be the living embodiment of evil, would post edicts, also known as rants, in every kingdom. Bright and glaring edicts in which she told her rivals just how full of hot air they were. This, of course, only added to her reputation.Within her own kingdom, Arantia weilded a mighty axe, at times beheading those unworthy to trod upon her soil. Her subjects, a loyal lot of vegetables happily known as minionions, served their diabolical queen unquestioningly. These minionions were, of course, evil by default, evil by their very association with Arantia.
This piqued not a few of them, those who were positive they should be known as evil in their own right, but never would they dare to challenge the supreme evil that was their queen, for fear that her bloody axe would find its way to their necks. Arantia sat at the center of her kingdom like a great, black spider, weaving all who crossed the borders of Dorkfae into her seductive web of tyranny.This web was a source of much contention among the realms. The minionions themselves were quite blind to Arantia's manipulative ways, unaware that their very minds had been ensnared by her evil powers. In the other realms, this blindness was discussed with much shaking of heads and many tut-tuts to be heard. "Poor, mindless minionions," the nobles from the other lands would say, "they have no hope of discovering Arantia's deceptive nature on their own."
Finally, the nobles from these realms decided to launch a campaign against Arantia, and began spreading far-reaching rumors and issuing edicts of their own in an attempt to break the hold that Arantia had on her minionions. "Arantia is evil", they said, "free yourselves from her wicked power!"The minionions, upon hearing these rumors and reading these edicts, were much amused, and in complete denial of the truth. For indeed, Arantia had cast a wicked spell upon her lands that caused all who entered her domain to desire nothing more than complete submission to her person. She would have it no other way. This spell was of such magnitude, so great were her magicks, that all who even breathed the air surrounding her kingdom immediately fell prey to its charm.
None would have thought to see Arantia that she would be capable of such vast wickedness, for she had a fragile demeanor, but unfortunately, that demeanor was only one of her many disguises. She was subtle as well, so subtle that none ever noticed when she infiltrated their minds and filled them with hints of memories that would later erupt and cause the recipient to go into a dazed reverie for weeks, thereby giving the queen even more power over them in their stupor. None of the minionions were aware of anything other than their need to avoid the axe, and so the edicts and rumors fell on deaf ears.
The nobles gave up in a huff of self-righteousness, though to this day once can hear in the far courts words of pity and scorn concerning the minionions of Arantia. The minionions themselves continued on as they had been for centuries, debating pointless semantics and boring issues while bending knee to their evil queen and bowing head beneath her great axe. Arantia herself, eternally undisturbed by any truths other than her own, ignored the entire episode.
©1998 CHAMAELIRIUM