Once upon a time in the land of Dorkfae there lived a mischievous trickster named Wacky Lantern. He had had to leave his home of HarpyHigh for playing one too many tricks on the hornicorns there, and so he and his dog Hellion made their way from place to place, finally discovering an old, abandoned wheelbarrow in a forgotten field in Dorkfae, where they made their humble home.
The wheelbarrow was no little source of wonder to the Dorkfae who stumbled across it, for Wacky had painted it in a swirl of color and had hung bells and beads and feathers from its handles. Nearby, Hel, showing an amazing amount of dexterity for a dog, had erected a towering and hollow figure built of smiley-face stickers. While Wacky was out playing tricks on the unsuspecting Dorkfae, Hel spent his days searching for any stray wanderer to put into his stickerman.
Wacky Lantern was obviously quite insane, for who in their right mind would want to live in a wheelbarrow? When Wacky made an appearance in the city of Dorkfae, the nobles there trembled in fear, for no one knew who the next victim of Wacky's foul pranks would be, or worse, when he would actually try to talk to them. Wacky's vocabulary, you see, sent not a few of the Dorkfae into spasms of actual thought, and we all know how the Dorkfae hate to think.
It was necessary, however, to think upon Wacky's words, because Wacky had an annoying habit of creating them in the recesses of his warped mind, and so no one really knew what he was talking about except himself. Most of the nobles politely ignored him, which was much easier than to make the effort to figure out for themselves what he meant.
Even more rarely, Wacky would bring Hel into town, and then the nobles hid in terror! For as troublesome as Wacky was, Hel was a hundred times worse. Why, Hel had been known to actually lift his leg on certain of the nobles' skirts, and none of them much appreciated that happening to their finery, not even those who liked dogs! The two of them combined, Wacky and Hel, were just a wee bit much for even the dorkier of the Dorks to handle. Wacky and Hel were quite pleased with their antics, for they had long ago determined that their only goal in life was to bring all nobles down a peg or four. At this goal they succeeded quite often, much to the dismay of the ever-snobbish nobles of Dorkfae.Once Wacky Lantern and Hellion were satisfied that they had created enough trouble to last a few days or more, off they would go, back to the wheelbarrow, where they would no doubt scheme together, plotting even more mischief to unleash on the poor, defenseless nobles. In this strange fashion, the balance of Dorkfae was maintained, and it is the humble opinion of this writer that Wacky Lantern and Hel are sorely needed in every realm known to the Otherkinky.
©1998 CHAMAELIRIUM