Lady Keela and Emperor Cartagia's Humour
How many members of Psi Corps does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They leave it alone and then make you THINK they changed it.
How many Shadows does it take to change a lightbulb?
No-one can tell; they always seem to do it when you're not looking...
How many Centauri does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. (And not THAT kind of "six", you pervert!) One to actually CHANGE the bulb, one to bring drinks for the party afterwards, one to bring food for the party afterwards, one to decorate the place for the party afterwards, one to take notes on how everyone acts at the party afterwards so he can blackmail their Houses into oblivion, and finally, one to poison the drinks and KILL everyone at the party afterwards!
VIR to LONDO: I hope you ENJOYED that wine, because it will be the last thing you remember! You see, it contained the SECOND part of the poison! The first part was in the fried spoo you ate at breakfast. I'm TIRED of waiting for you to kick the bucket, I wanna be Emperor NOW!
LONDO to VIR: Et tu, AAACCCCKKK!
MARCUS to GARIBALDI: You say this Talia had an affair with my dear lady Susan? I'll cut her heart out with a SPOON!
GARIBALDI: But wouldn't an axe work better? Or maybe a knife?
MARCUS: A spoon is DULL, you half-wit, it would hurt MORE!
IVANOVA to SHERIDAN: I'm telling you, VIR is Kaiser Sojag!
ISN REPORTER to THE VIEWING AUDIENCE: In interstellar news today, Emperor Cartagia admitted that he DID have "improper relations" with one of the palace slave-girls, but claims that it was not MUCH of an affair because he, quote, "never got past one". And now, here's Na'Pryn, with our "Being of the Week".
Centauri Night Fever
Indiana John and the Pit of Za'ha'dum
What if the Characters on Babylon 5 Had Their Own Businesses?
Lady Adira's of Kiro City--All the latest exotic nightwear, in the most sumptous fabrics. Guaranteed to make your male want to put his hands (or whatever) all over you.
Lennier's Bagels
Marcus's Kutlery Korner--For ALL your Minbari weapon needs! Elocution lessons extra.
Garibaldi's Italian Restaurant and Motorcycle Repair
Vir's Self-Improvement Clinic
In just a few short years, you, TOO, can go from a toadying flunky to someone capable of killing an evil monarch, AND loose lots of unsightly pounds along the way!
Delenn and Sinclair's Makeover Palace
Change yourself from Human to Minbari and back again with help from these two brilliant professors, in only a few short centuries!
Psychic Enemies Network--run by Psi Corps. We will scan anyone on the station that you consider to be an enemy and tell you what they are thinking at that moment, right over the phone. Mindwiping extra. Call 1-900-KIL-MIND.
Sheridan's Flarnshack--not for the weak of hearts.
The Shadows Information Hotline--we can make a deal with you to get you ANYTHING you want! Just name it! Of course, we might have to blow up your homeworld, but hey...Be sure to consult our allies too--their advice is SURE to be a real Keeper!
The Starshine Cab Company--run by Zack Allen. Just DON'T call him "Bobby", WHATEVER you do.
The Psi-Abilities Enhancement Center--run by Lyta Alexander and Jason Ironheart. Come in a lowly P5 and come out a...who knows? And if you aren't satisfied, you'll get your money back in a million years.
The Regent's Locksmithy. Everything you need to make sure those angry Narns STAY locked up! All keys and locks available in a variety of attractive pastel colours.
Click HERE to go back to Emperor Cartagia's Humour Palace.
Click HERE to go back to Centauri Prime.