A Tragedy of Telepaths
Reviewed by Lady Keela Shanri
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Again, this episode has two main plotlines and one subplot--the telepaths, the Centauri Prime plot, and the raiders. And again, the Centauri stuff of course outshines everything else. But let's start off with the raiders' subplot, 'cos it's the shortest and easiest:
Basically, what's happening is that now, the Alliance Ambassadors have someone SPECIFIC to blame for the attacks on their ships--each other. Of course. As Garibaldi, depressingly yet truthfully, tells Sheridan, people basically just like to see big things go BOOM, and right now, the Alliance is it. That's why everyone seems to be trying so hard to pull it apart rather then trying to hold it together. The Drazi have found a piece of debris from a ship from one of the attack sites--it's of Brakiri origin! And the Gaim have found ANOTHER chunk at a site where some Brakiri ships were attacked that is of DRAZI origin! So they both basically all but declare open war on each other in the middle of the Council chambers. I must take a moment here to say that I was pleased with the actors they've chosen for this plotline--they used Kim Strauss, who is easily the best Drazi, and Jonathan Chapman, who is easily the best Brakiri, to pit against each other. It added a nice touch to the scene. Anyway, to keep them from going at each other's throats, Sheridan and Delenn (his "lovely assistant", operating the remote. "Can I buy a vowel?" I thought at this point) put the White Stars out on their borders to attack THEM if they should attack each other. They protest this but it WAS right there in the agreement that Delenn outlined back in "Rising Star", and in the constitution...they should have done their homework...
If that wasn't bad enough, the edges of both pieces are way too smooth--analysis says that they were CUT off, not blown off. Someone--and they still don't know who or why--is TRYING to trick them, to pull the Alliance apart from the inside. And that's rather scary. Of course WE know who...but when are THEY going to find out...?
Now on to the telepath story of the title, which in my opinion was not all THAT tragic. (Okay, okay, I've heard that according to Straczynski, "a tragedy of telepaths" is like a name for a GROUP of them, like a flock of geese or a school of fish, etc. But that is never SAID in the episode so I gotta go with the real, normal meaning of the word "tragedy".) And it was, of course, the weakest part of the episode. But then, I'm thinking that about EVERY scene with the teeps now. If Byron is in the plot-thread, I don't care HOW good the rest of it is, I automatically WON'T like it, just because he's there. And he is, of course. Thank god he doesn't get to do all THAT much in this episode; most of the lines go to other teeps, including "Lara the brave and beautiful" whom we get to hear speak for the first time (and she's another Brit, turns out) and...Bester.
But wait a minute, I can hear you asking. Bester wasn't supposed to come back for another 60 days! It can't POSSIBLY have been 60 days already, that was just a couple episodes ago!
Ah, but you've overlooked the Human Stupidity Factor. Lochley, possibly because she is forced to work out and eat Wheaties every morning (the breakfast of Captains...), has, in her infinite wisdom, decided to INVITE Bester BACK ONTO THE STATION!
Much as I like Lochley--and I DO still like her, don't get me wrong--she can be a real BUTTHEAD somestimes.
This is definitely one of those times. From her boneheaded decision to bring Bester back on purpose to her crawling through the maintainance shaft right past "High Voltage" wires and ducking under tubes, with a flashlight in her mouth, ALONE, Lochley certainly seems to have left her brain at home this week. WHY do I always have to pick people and races to like in this show that require so much "defending"...why can't I just pick someone who is an outright good-guy to like so that I don't have to go to all that work all the time? First the Centauri, now Lochley...
(Side-note--that shot of her crawling around in the duct looked SO much like something out of "Aliens"! Tracy Scoggins would make a GREAT "Ripley"-type...).
Meanwhile, the teeps which are out, which include Thomas, the blonde guy with CURLY hair, and Lara, the "brave and beautiful" who started to freak me out a little bit towards the end ("We're going to need a handprint for identification." says Thomas. "Oh," she says in her snippy British accent, with a CREEPY little smirk on her face, "I think we can arrange that...") are beating up guards with metal pipes, forcefully ripping information out of people's minds, and end up SHOOTING at Lochley, Zack, and Bester! Not good...
I must say, I rather liked the bit with the tiny little worker dude (I swear, he's way shorter than BESTER, that ought to tell you something! I'll bet the Regent could probably beat him up!) thinking there was a bomb in the wall, and STILL thinking that later on. "I'm TELLING you, there's a BOMB in there!" he shouts, trying desperately to "warn" the others. Finally Bester stares him straight in the eye--DOWN into his eye--and says, "There's....no....bomb." And all by HIMSELF, Bester is able to block ALL the other telepaths.
Of course, that's only because Lyta wasn't there with the others petting the wall (don't ask)...
And at the very end of the episode, after two security guards (redshirts, even if they're actually wearing black) are killed and Bester gets all depressed about the inflation rate and the fact that hemlines are going down again (DON'T ask...) his Thugs-R-Uss bunch, a.k.a. the Bloodhound Units, comes back on board.
OH, boy...
Back on Centauri Prime, Londo and G'Kar are eating dinner. Well, actually, G'Kar is, stuffing his face. After all, it's "bad luck to die on an empty stomach" as he said in the last episode. He is eating...ew...ick...FRESH spoo, which insults Londo when he offers it to him. "Spoo has to age in order to cultivate its flavour!" he protests. "Only a NARN can stomach it fresh! Where did you get it?"
"I got it off a tray that was heading for the south wing of the palace, I did not think anyone would miss it." Then it suddenly hits him. "Londo..." he asks, very slowly, "if I'm the only Narn in the palace, then who was that fresh spoo for?"
"I don't know..."
"What's in the south wing of the palace?" he presses.
"Old living quarters, they've hardly been used for years, the memorial gardens, and...and underground cells..."
G'Kar is naturally rather disturbed by this news. "Take me there. NOW!"
So, after a nice conversation about gardening "TOO ANNOYING TO LIVE") they leave for the cells. When they get there, a very very LARGE guard lets them in, (sorry, but I ALWAYS notice when someone is an unusual size in either direction; get used to it) and they find, huddling pathetically on the floor, dressed in rags and chains--
NA'TOTH!!
Na'toth! You remember her!! G'Kar's aide, my personal favourite Narn character, who's been missing for ALMOST THREE WHOLE FRAGGING YEARS?!! The one who was presumed dead--but never actually said one way or the other--since mid-Season TWO?! The one whose name was used to "lure" G'Kar into what was actually Lord Refa's trap in "And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place"?
That Na'Toth. I've been wanting to know what happened to her for YEARS! (Well, okay, months, but that's only because I watch these on the weekday-ly reruns on TNT so they go by faster for me than they did for the fans the first time around.) Maybe some people don't care about minor recurring characters who fall through the cracks--but I do.
Na'Toth (played by (Julie) Caitlin Brown, the FIRST one, not Mary Kay Adams, the second, although I would like to point out for the record here that I never hated Mary Kay Adams the way the other fans did) is thin and gaunt to the point of starvation, and looks pathetically glad to see G'Kar again. (And something seems to have happened to her eyes--they are BROWN, not red as they should be. Of course, the real reason for this is that both actresses could not STAND the red contacts and Julie Caitlin Brown probably made them promise not to make her wear them or else she wouldn't do the guest appearance.) First, she wants to know what's going on outside--she doesn't even know that the war is over! She tells them what REALLY happened to her. During the attack on Narn, 5 MILLION people died in the first few minutes! Yikes. "Words cannot describe..." As she tells about how nothing seemed wrong until "the second star appeared in the sky...and then the sky exploded..." we see both what happened from her point of view, down on Narn, and we also see inside Londo's memory, as he stands looking out the window of the Centauri flagship at the "pretty light show" with a look of absolute disgust--both at the situation, and at HIMSELF--on his face. Then she explains about how the last thing she remembered before she woke up here was having a Centauri boot on her neck "and trying to BITE it", then she was in the Palace. They were brought back, her and some other Narns, who are all most likely dead by now, as trophies, slaves, or "entertainment". "I guess I was not sufficiently 'entertaining'", she says with a trace of rancor in her voice. Oh, dear. Poor girl. And especially considering who was Emperor then...
Sigh. Like I said, WHY do I have to keep picking favourites that need so much defending...but I've said it once, and I'll say it again--even though the Centauri CAN be truly evil sometimes, they are STILL easily the most interesting and fun race on Babylon 5, and they always will be. Nyah.
Anyway, enough Centauri Pride, back to the episode. G'Kar gets very very VERY upset about this, saying that Na'Toth was his aide, his friend (friend? I'd always gotten the impression that they were a bit more than that to each other, if you get what I mean...) and he cannot believe that she is still here! Why was she left here?!
Londo explains that things like this happen in a monarchy--only an Emperor can countermand an order given by an Emperor, and sometimes they just forget all about it after they've given it. (I imagine Cartagia forgot EVERY order after he gave it, especially--he was so flighty.) For example, there is a guard who stands out in the courtyard all the time guarding NOTHING, and why? Because over two HUNDRED years ago, the Princess saw the very first flower of spring peeping up through the snow and did not want anyone to step on it, so she set a guard there, morning, noon, and night. And long after the Princess died...the guard was still there...(a different one of course, after each one retired they'd get another one to fill the position). G'Kar insists that Londo HAS to order Na'Toth to be freed, but Londo cannot go against the order of an Emperor (even a bad one), that would be treason punishable by death. Only the Regent could do it, and they can't exactly count on him lately. So they will have to do this the hard way...
"So," says Londo to G'Kar, once they are back in Londo's quarters, "all we have to do is free Na'Toth without killing a guard, raising the alarm, or letting anyone know that she is gone. For my next trick, I shall fly around the room under my own power!" (hee hee.) Then a lady comes in to tell him..something (I forget what) and Londo says, very good, yes, I'll be right there, whatever--and then tells her to turn around so he can look at her. She obliges, "Oh, yes, my Prime Minister!" Then he tells her to shut the door, and looks at her some more. "Take off your clothes." (WHAT?!) "But you don't have to do it right NOW, and certainly not in front of..." he trails off as he realises that the dress is already OFF and she's standing there in a skimpy, lacey, red-and-black miniskirt negligee, black fishnet stockings, and a smile. She seems to be perfectly calm about the idea of stripping for "her Prime Minister", like she's asked to do that kind of thing all the time! (Lady Tarinia, anyone? Well, if you haven't read my Centauri fanfic--and only a few people have--you won't get that one. Let's just say that Tarinia is a noblewoman who will "mate with anything" at a moment's notice. The Official Palace Slut.) Londo looks sideways at G'Kar. "Animal magnetism", he smirks. "I just can't help it!"
"What else do you require of me, Prime Minister?" says the lady.
"I will have need of your clothes for a short while."
She gives him a knowing coy smile. "Of course, your Excellency, Emperor Cartagia used to play this game with me all the time." (EEEEEEKKKK!! I was ON THE FLOOR!! I'd always kinda imagined that Cartagia dressed up in drag, because after all his real-life "soul-twin" Caligula did, so I was curious as to just HOW far the parallell went, and now it seems I was RIGHT!! "I am the Goddess of the Dawn...tra-la-laaaa...") "But I am not exactly Your Excellency's size." (Translation: "Even though I'm quite tall, you're a BLIMP! Sir." That wouldn't be a problem with His Imperial Anorexic Nuttiness...)
"Oh, I'll make do." says Londo, shooing her out of the room in her UNDIES! (This episode is full of undressed or actually semi-dressed, I should say, women. Between "Lady Tarinia" in her lacy negligee and Captain Lochley in her little sports-BIKINI (!) nightclothes, we've got a bit of a theme going on here!)
So then Londo gets Na'Toth out of the palace using "Lady Tarinia's" clothes as a disguise (for the record--those couple of you who HAVE read my story, Lady Tarinia does not look like this--she's a Dolly Parton-type Centauri, only brunette instead of blonde--very short, very petite, kinda chunky-boned--and a FIGURE out to HERE, if ya get what I mean. Like that. Not about 6 feet tall and slender with no ponytail. I'm just using the name to be humourous.) along with a veil to hide her face and gloves for her hands--and a very clever plan. They will avoid calling attention to themselves by CALLING attention to themselves. First, they tell the HUGE guard to go away and never come back to this wing, that the prisoner will "not need" food and drink any longer, and to wall up the entire hallway after they are gone so that no-one will find "what is left of her". Used to having prisoners killed for no reason, the guard says okay and leaves.
As Na'Toth "gets in line" to kill Londo, he explains--people at the Royal Court have been trained NOT to notice anything unpleasant or untowards--so the more obnoxious he acts, the more invisible they will be! Isn't that just GREAT?!
So Londo gets a bottle of brevari, throws some of it on Na'Toth and G'Kar, and goes STAGGERING out through the main hallway with Na'Toth on his arm, lurching "drunkenly" past everyone and going on and on about how their PASSION will last for DAYS, and it will be the best time of her LIFE, my little flower, lunging right up into people's faces, KISSING a woman on the lips, making a very embarrassed young guard pull his helmet down over his face, etc. until they are out. And from there, they can get Na'Toth into a Centauri ship that will take them halfway to Babylon 5, and from THERE, they will be met by a Narn ship that will take her home.
They watch her depart from the windows of the Centauri ship, and G'Kar, standing in a window JUST like the one Londo stood in during the bombing of Narn, says that it will take her spirit a long time to heal, but he thinks she can do it. And with that artful shot, yet ANOTHER parallell between the two characters, Londo and G'Kar, is shown...
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