Top Ten Abandoned Valdemar products from FireBird


10 ) The Complete Anti-Reincarnation kit
Hey kids, now _you_ can be like Ma'ar! Choose your life, and gain in power as the years progress. Have fun manipulating people! Rule entire kingdoms!
9) Lives (TM) : The Board game
Can you make it from bondbird to kyree to Herald to Companion without stepping backwards? The first one to make it to Havens, wins!
8) Songs from Valde-.. er.. Never mind.
7) The Artificer's Kit
Now, even you can figure out Magic with the new Artificer's kit, endorsed by the American Science Foundation! Find the secret that saved
Valdemar from Mage Storms! Confuse your friends with strange and unexplainable descriptions of what's happening!
6) Make A Villain Book and Word Wheel
Want to make a cliché and totally mysterious and obscure villain? Buy the Make A Villain book and Word Wheel to find out how! With the word
wheel, you can choose random menacing names and the four or five word quotes you need, and the blank book will show you exactly how much you need to say about the villain and his motives!
5) Herald Unifor..oops.
4) Lutes and Gitterns : Your guide to archaic music
Want to play the instruments Stef and Medren do? Well, now you can with the Lute and Gittern book and set! Learn how to sing suddenly and unexpectedly, and control the minds of all those who are listening!
3) Companion doll.. Darn.. I did it again..
2) Silver Bells Horse Kit
Want your Horse to look like a Companion? With this coat of pain..er.. specialized dye and twinkling bells for the mane, even the blackest of horses can look as good as Rolan! (Warning: Wear gloves when applying to horse, may melt skin.)
1)Spot the Herald!
Want to be like a Companion? Now you can, with our new Spot the Herald! Books, with Hints like : Herald's families are invariably backwards,
the ability to withstand rape trauma is important, & a Herald is always terribly depressed when chosen!
0) (Don't tell me you're as naive as the Greeks, Romans, and Letterman; zero does exist..) The Ancar Torture Kit
Wonder exactly what Talia went through? Invite a friend, and with our equipment and instruction book, you can find out! (Warning : May cause limping.)

by Sarah Margaret


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