With the abundance of Mercedes Lackey's work out in the real
world, various new phobias have sprung up. In an attempt to let the
public know that they're out there, I have decided to post the following
information to the people who are at the highest risk. This means you!
Please read the following, and if you or anyone you know have any of
these symptoms, please get help immediately!
Ma'ar'aphobia - (Ma-ar-a-pho-bia)
The fear of seeing Ma'ar, hearing about how demented he
is getting, and quaking at the mention of his reincarnations.
Cause: Too much Misty! Too much of seeing a 'Bad Guy'
over and over and over and over and...
* Related to the Energizer Bunny Syndrome.
Effect: Screaming "Damn you Ma'ar!" when things dont go
the subjects way, burning Black Gryphon, the Last Herald
Mage, and the Mage Winds series in hopes of ending Ma'ar
for good; Wearing seives on heads to prevent Ma'ar from
taking the subject over.
Bardophobia - (bard-o-pho-bia)
The fear of being written into a truly awful song, and
then being unable to torture the Bard over a roasting pit
Cause: Too Much Misty! Listening to terrible ballads and
wondering if the same fate is in store for you.
Effect: Subject becomes a quivering blob of goo when
songs such as 'Ice Maiden' are brought up. When songs
such as 'Ice Maiden' are sung, subjuct usually begins to
scream "I'M NORMAL IGNORE ME!" and then proceeds to do a
good impression of jello in an earthquake, and after five
minutes or so of this ridiculous behavior, usually collapses.
* Sub-group - Leslacophobia (Les-lac-o-pho-bia)
where subject goes temporarily insane at the mention of Leslac or his 'songs'.
Churchophobia - (Chur-ch-o-pho-bia)
The fear of Church conspiracies and the color red.
Cause: Too Much Misty! Hearing too much about Church
arsons and corrupted preists who happen to wear red.
Effect: Subject insists that the 'Church is watching' and
blames all acts of arson on Church officials who are
tone-deaf. Usually chants "Free-Bards Rule! Churches
Drool!" or some variation thereof. Goes into a frenzy at
the sight of someone wearing red or anything remotely
resembling a robe, and usually attacks the poor unfortunate soul
(Little Mermaid, I know!) and afterwards
is reduced to flapping the arms wildly, drooling, and
singing 'The Saucy Preist'. Subjects also seem to enjoy
poking out their eyes with sticks and then insisting that
they lost the eye in some heroic, or demonic, deed.
Sheepophobia - (Sheep-o-pho-bia)
The fear of flavored sheep.
Cause: Too much Misty! Being on Lists like this one.
Effect: Hiding under desks at the mention of flavored
sheep or Wallace and Grommet's 'A Close Shave'. Red Hazes
that cover the subject's eyes at the mention of the wooley
things, and subsequent sheep rustling opperations that
end up in Candy Coated Sheep which the subject promptly
gives away. Subject usually has no memory of what he/she
did, and close questioning usually produces another
sheep rustling opperation. Subject usually also begins to
insert the word 'sheep' into ordinairy conversation,
which, surprizingly, dosent produce the mysterious red
haze. Further study required.
If you see yourself or a friend in any one of the above phobias, GET HELP!
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