Children: tips on dealing with them

1. If you hook a dog to the ceiling fan, the fan is not strong enough to make him fly like Batman. However, it is strong enough to fling paint out of a paint can in a 20 foot radius.
2. If you hear the toilet flush and the words UH-OH, it is already too late.
3. When you mix clorox and brake fluid, it makes smoke. Lots of smoke. And not the greatest smell.
4. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill your entire house with 4 inches of water.
5. No matter how many boxes of Jelly you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
6. VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Tried and tested - ham sandwich & video. "It was hungry."
7. You should always look in the oven before you turn it on.
8. The spin cycle on the electric dryer makes cats extremely dizzy.
9. A dizzy cat can throw up 4 times its body weight.
10. Half a pound of biscuits divided by two children=1lb biscuit crumbs.

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