Liberalism

The Top 14 Signs You're Married to a Liberal

• In your wedding vows, "love, honor, and obey" were replaced with "legitimize, empower, and respect reproductive freedom."
• Pile of burned Ken Starr effigies in the back yard is starting to block the sun.
• Supported Al Gore for President in 2000, but has no idea why.
• After a poor performance in the bedroom, you find yourself enrolled in a federal program to correct your shortcomings.
• Misses your funeral to protest the harsh sentence given your killer.
• You casually mention your "Euthanize the Homeless" idea and - BANG! - no sex for a month.
• What, the family budget is *BALANCED*? Quick, let's get to the mall and buy something!
• Insists his socks are not mismatched, they're "diverse."
• He was a tireless advocate of gun control until the impeachment hearings started. Now he owns a rocket launcher.
• At the height of passion, cries out, "Tax me!!!"
• It's bad enough that he looks like an extra from "Deliverance" - now he can't keep his loudmouth Cajun trap shut on those talk shows.
• Constantly pelts your cats with ketchup, screeching, "Fur is murder!"
• She's got the kids playing "Barbaric Imperialists and Innocent Native Americans" again.