Mergers
Potential Mergers we should never see
- Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs
- Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
- Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker
- W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
- 3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood
- John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi
- Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home
- Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine
- 3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera
- Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants
- Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!
- Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New company will be called Zip Audi Do-Da
Stolen shamelessly from an eMail which went round in 1999.