Putdowns for all occasions

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.
I'll have my people fuck your people.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
Since my last report this employee has reached the bottom and started to dig
His men would follow him anywhere, if only out of curiosity
I would not allow this person to breed
He is not so much as a has-been but more of a definite won't be
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet
This young lady has delusions of adequacy
He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them
This employee is depriving a village of an idiot
This employee should go far, and the sooner the better
He doesn't have ulcers, he's a carrier
I would like to go out hunting with him sometime
He has a knack of making strangers immediately
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one
Donated his brain to science before he had finished using it
He has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
If he were any more stupid he would have to be watered twice a week
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change
If you stand close enough to him you can hear the ocean
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead