Perverting The Course Of Justice

Once more, they descend the ladders from the safehouse down to the lower floors of the warehouse and Jihan peeps out of the door to see whether there is anyone around. Once again all is quiet. they move silently through the door once more, and start to make their way towards 'The Coach & Horses'.

This time, Robert takes the point position, with Jihan following closely behind him. The two rogues lead the rest of them in groups of twos and threes in the direction of the inn. By now, Jihan has repeated the operation for guiding the party though the shadowy street of Hradetz Kralovye so often that he starts to feel quite at home in the place.

Although The Coach & Horses is located not far from the safehouse, the journey takes quite a while. Compared to the other journeys through the narrow streets of the city, there is a great deal of activity at the moment. On several occasions, the party has to cling to the shadowy walls as a company of goblins rushes past them. On other occasions, Robert and Jihan spot small groups of rogues, members of the Black Diamonds presumably, who are also hurrying in various directions. Luckily, all of the nighttime traffic in the city is hurrying towards different destinations, and is not actively searching the streets for breakers of the curfew, which is lucky for the party, as they would otherwise have undoubtedly been seen. Eventually, Robert sees, to his relief, the faded hanging sign that tells him that he has located the tavern. The rest of then catch up with him and they form a small group in front of the inn.

Telling the rest of them to stay back, Jihan walks up to the door of the tavern and tries it. It is open. He silently walks through the doorway, leaving the rest of them standing outside for a couple of minutes.

'The coast looks clear' the elf informs them upon his return. 'There is a night porter at the reception desk, but he is fast asleep. Try and remain as quiet as possible.'

Jihan enters the inn once more and they all file behind him. As they creep through the inn, they all see the night porter, a middle-aged man in a badly fitting uniform, who is snoring loudly as he sleeps with his feet on the desk.

Jihan leads them up the stairs, which creak a little as they ascend, but do not awaken the sleeping porter. Jihan then walks across the landing until he stands in front of room #4, the room occupied by Tharnald and Darry. Jihan stands in front of the door for a few seconds, trying to rehearse a speech that will explain the situation to the dwarves as simply as possible. The elf in dwarven form takes a deep breath and taps lightly on the door. There is no sound coming from the door. He knocks a little harder. He hears movement from within the room, a candle is lit and a few words are exchanged in Dwarven. Then Jihan hears footsteps coming towards the door.

The door opens and Darry appears at the door, dressed in what can only be described as a nightie.

'Ah, Darry….' Jihan starts.

Sleepily, Darry looks at Tharnald standing before him. There is a look of confusion on his face. Then he looks at Tharnald sitting on the bed, then back to Tharnald at the door. Then he faints, hitting the floor with a loud '*Thud*'

'Tharnald, don't be afraid' shouts Jihan quickly. 'I know that I look like you, but I'm in fact Jihan, the elf that was talking with you last evening. Remember me? I have taken on your appearance through the powers of illusion. Please, do not be alarmed.'

Tharnald is silent for a moment, and then he starts laughing in a deep belly laugh.

'I know that I have a habit of making an impression of people' he laughs. 'But no one has taken it this far before!'

'Tharnald, help me get Darry onto the bed.'

'Hey!' says Tharnald with mock anger. 'Just because you've taken my appearance doesn't mean that you can have your way with my boy as well. Ha! Ha! Ha!'

Tharnald then comes over and, together, the two Tharnalds drag Darry onto the bed.

'That ain't the first time Darry's had himself a stroke while looking at me' Tharnald laughs. 'Ha! Ha! Ha!'

The rest of the party files in behind the two Tharnalds and stand in the room. As the Tharnalds get Darry on the bed, the real Tharnald spies Faewen'il in the form of Darry. Tharnald looks at the fake Darry, the real Darry and then the fake Tharnald and starts to smile with a wicked twinkle in his eye.

'Don't even think about it, Tharnald' says Jihan, reading the dwarf's thoughts. 'We haven't got time for any fun and games.'

Tharnald looks a little disappointed at Jihan's words.

'Perhaps a little later then?' Tharnald adds hopefully.

Jihan ignores this question:

'Could you try and arouse…'

Tharnald starts grinning madly.

'Let me re-phrase that' says Jihan, with great embarrassment. 'Could you try and AWAKEN Darry, please. You are in great danger and I need to explain why.'

'Let me try and give him the kiss of life' grins Tharnald. 'It always works in the stories. I just hope that he turns into a handsome prince and not an ugly frog.'

You all look away as Tharnald kisses Darry - a frenchie, obviously. However, this approach has little effect and still Darry is out cold.

'Can you think of another solution?' asks Jihan. 'We really need to hurry.'

Tharnald takes a pitcher which is half full of flat beer. He empties it upon the unfortunate Darry.

Darry awakes with a start, in some confusion. He immediately realizes that he is soaking wet. He brings up his nightie to his nose and sniffs it, then looks at Tharnald:

'Phew! Tharnald' Darry says, with some relief. 'I thought you'd….'

'Ha! Ha! Ha!' laughs Tharnald. 'You wish!'

By this time, Winnacer is starting to tire of the dwarves' antics and tries to speed things along, conscious of the fact that Nyemetz could be descending on them at that very moment.

'Look, we haven't got time to explain the whole story' says Winnacer impatiently 'Basically, we took on your identities in order to complete a task that we had been assigned. Unfortunately, we didn't think the outcome through completely and, regrettably, it would appear that the two of you, and Barra, are implicated in the act, with the result that you are now wanted by the Nyemetz. For this, we can only apologize and swear that we shall protect you to ensure that you will not come to any harm.'

Tharnald and Darry are silent for a moment, trying to work out what the hell Winnacer is talking about. Slowly, it starts to sink in:

'So we're wanted by the Nyemetz because you did something that they think we did and they didn't like it?' Tharnald asks.

'Yes, that's the situation, I'm sorry to say' replies Winnacer guiltily.

'So what would the Nyemetz do if they captured us?' asks Darry, naively.

'Well, they think that you are a witch, Darry, and that Tharnald and Barra are assassins' answers Winnacer. 'As a result, I think that they would probably capture you, then lock you up and try you for the crimes.'

'So we would get dragged off by a group of strong men?' asks Tharnald.

'Probably' answers Winnacer.

'And would they throw us into a dungeon?' asks Darry.

'Definitely' replies Winnacer.

'And would they tie us up in chains?' adds Tharnald, starting to smile.

'Errm…yes' adds Winnacer.

'And would they strip us naked in front of them so that they could revel in our humiliation?' adds Darry, his eyes starting to burn bright with excitement.

'Well…errm…well…I…don't….' stammers Winnacer.

'And would they beat us mercilessly?' cries Tharnald.

'Torturing us until we begged them to have mercy upon us?' adds Darry, almost frothing.

'Yes, yes' says Winnacer, now getting extremely impatient.

'BUT THIS SOUNDS GREAT!!!' exclaims Tharnald with glee. 'We paid a lot of money for that treatment when we went on holiday to Mnyesto last year, didn't we, Darry?'

Darry nods his head excitedly.

'BUT THEN THEY'D KILL YOU, FOR PRIRODNA'S SAKE' shouts Yaz, butting in.

'That's why we need to get you out of here now' pleads Winnacer

Tharnald and Darry look sad at that news and are quiet for a moment.

'Errm…I don't suppose you could let them capture us and let them torture us for a few days and then rescue us before they kill us, could you?' asks Tharnald, hopefully.

'Absolutely not' says Winnacer, starting to get a little cross now.

'Bugger!' says Tharnald.

'Spoilsport!' adds Darry.

'Oh well, then' says Tharnald, resigned to their fate. 'If you simply MUST rescue us now, then I guess that we'll have to be rescued.'

'Good' concludes Winnacer, glad to have got his message through to them finally. 'Please hurry up and get dressed straight away. We have no time to lose.'

Tharnald and Darry start to pull on their regular clothing while the others all look away.

'If we're unlucky, then we might have to combat some Nyemetz on our way to safety' says Jihan as the dwarves finish getting dressed. 'Do either of you have any way of defending yourselves?'

'I think we know how to handle ourselves' says Tharnald, which starts Darry tittering afresh.

With that, Tharnald pulls out a large leather sack and pulls out a large leather whip with nine studded thongs to it.

'Now THIS is a weapon that I know how to handle' says Tharnald, thrashing it against the palm of his hand.

Winnacer rolls his eyes to the heavens.

Darry then reaches into the bag and produces a very strange looking instrument. It is around eighteen inches long and seems to be an ornate carving of a fist made out of highly polished wood.

'What's that for?' asks Faewen'il innocently.

'Play your cards right, lovey, and we'll give you a demonstration later!' says Tharnald, winking at her.

'OK' says Winnacer. 'If you've got everything, then let's go.'

They all move out of the room, with Tharnald and Darry bringing up the rear.

'Now we need to get Barra' says Jihan. 'Let's hope that it goes a little better than this one'

Jihan knocks on the next door after insuring that Robert is kept well out of sight. He knocks on the door and it is shortly answered by Barra.

Carefully, Jihan tells the barmaid exactly what has happened, telling her to please remain calm. It takes quite a while for the full story to sink in with her, but eventually it does. Once Jihan is of the belief that she is ready for it, he shows her the remainder of the party, including the two Tharnalds and two Darrys, before ending up by showing the barmaid her doppleganger.

When the two barmaids are face-to-face, it becomes apparent to them all just how optimistic Robert was in his attempt to clone Barra. The real Barra's eyes fall to the fake Barra's breasts. Her face darkens for a moment and then she gives Robert an almighty slap across the face:

'One track mind, most of you have got' says the barmaid in a huff before quickly getting changed and retrieving her belongings from the room.

With all assembled, they start to descend the staircase in order to steal out of the inn. They pass the porter who is still snoring away, oblivious to the strange procession passing in front of him. They go through the door and into the street.

Once in the street, they look up through the dim half-light with horror to see a group rounding a corner, heading towards them. The group consists of a Witchfinder dressed in the Hradetz Kralovye colors, who is being accompanied by a company of 20 goblins, inclusive of their standard bearer and orc sargeant. They are as surprised to see the party as the party are they, especially considering the fact that there are double the people that they were coming for.

The sargeant reacts quickly, barking an order to the goblins. Half of the goblins bring shortbows from their shoulders while the other half start to ready their spears. The Witchfinder rummages in his bag and is about to start uttering.

Darry starts to scream as he sees the goblins approach. Barra starts to join him.

"Oh shit..." Jihan blurts out. "Split to the sides for the safehouse!"

With that, he draws two extra daggers from his belt and sends them twirling in the direction of the Witchfinder.

The Witchfinder finishes her casting, nothing seems to have happened, although she does not seem disappointed.

Winnacer shouts "Retreat to the Rusted Barnicle!" as he draws his sword and attempts to head off back to the headquarters. However, as he does so, Faewen’il produces a small piece of cobweb from her pouch and begins to utter an arcane incantation that the others have never heard her say before. She then gesticulates towards the company of goblins.

From the gables of one of the houses overhanging the street, a vast, glistening cobweb begins to form, which quickly descends to the street below, entangling the orc sargeant plus seven of the goblins. They start to struggle as they are engulfed by its sticky strands, but the more that they struggle, the more entangled in its strands they become.

‘Don’t run’ shouts Bennett, drawing Sorrow and charging towards the goblins. ‘We can take them now’

The party is in chaos. Some had started to run for cover, others for escape, but now they see that there is a chance to take out the goblins after Faewen’il’s spell had brought the odds back in their favor.

"What the- Where the f*** are you going?" cries Yaz.

He stays where he is and begins to chant and gesticulate towards the Witchfinder.

Jihan’s daggers continue to fly towards the Witchfinder. The first is way off target, but the second hits her full on.

Robert mimics Jihan’s actions and sends a couple of daggers spinning through the air towards the Witchfinder. The first bounces off some invisible barrier surrounding the Witchfinder, but the second manages to pierce it, embedding itself in the Witchfinder’s forehead.

The Witchfinder crumples to the ground, quite dead.

‘YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!’ shouts Robert, holding his hands up in triumph.

‘YOU TOTAL F***ING CRETIN!’ screams Yaz at the unfortunate Robert. ‘I was going to f***ing charm the bitch. She was going to be our alibi and now she’s f***ing dead!’

‘Um, sorry’ says Robert, sheepishly.

There is no more time for argument as the first volley from the five remaining goblin bowmen hurtles towards the party.

Two of the arrows head towards Winnacer. However, the first is off target and the second bounces harmlessly off his armor. Another arrow flies harmlessly over Yaz’s head, while they can hear snapping sounds as two of the goblins break their bowstrings in their haste to try and despatch the party.

Winnacer and Xavier draw their swords and charge towards the remaining goblins. Tharnald grabs his whip with one hand and Darry by the other, dragging him towards the goblins with fury burning in his eyes.

Another volley flies through the air from the goblins. The arrows fly out seemingly at random. One flies over Faewen’il’s head while another grazes Jihan’s arm. The third, they see to their horror, hits Barra in the neck, killing the unfortunate barmaid immediately.

Reaching the goblins, Bennett wades into them with fury. Too much fury, as he sends Sorrow flying out of his hand, seeing it fly through the air to land behind the goblins. Cursing his bad luck, he reaches behind him and brings his battleaxe, Regret, into his hand. While he is doing so, however, one of the goblins, which has now dropped his bow and drawn a shortsword, manages to hit Bennett in the leg, causing a bad wound. The goblin carrying a spear behind him fails to hit him.

Winnacer is next into the fray. He has more success ,as he hacks into the pair of goblins in front of him, separating one of the speargoblin’s heads from its body ,while avoiding the blow from its shortsword wielding companion.

Xavier, however, has similar luck to Bennett and stumbles in the dimly lit streets, falling over in front of the goblins. Luckily, none of the goblins manage to take advantage of his prone position, narrowly avoiding hitting him.

Tharnald and Darry rush in, screaming at the goblins while brandishing whip and dildo respectively.

Tharnald lashes out at the first of the goblins with his whip, which cracks into the goblin’s face. The goblin cries out in agony, leaps into the air and bolts away rubbing its smarting face. Darry just fails to hit another goblin with his dildo.

Sadly, the goblins exact their revenge, as Tharnald is hit in the leg by a spear, sending him yelping in agony, while Darry gets slashed by a shortsword, sending him spinning to the ground, unconscious.

Faewen’il rushes over to Barra, in order to see whether she may be saved through her healing herbs. The situation looks bleak, however.

Yaz, Robert and Jihan all draw their weapons and head off to join their colleagues in the fight.

Bennett hacks into the goblins with Regret, but the goblins are able to avoid the heavy head of the axe. The point of a spear hits his armor, but fails to penetrate.

Winnacer brings ‘Old Bohavia’ crashing down upon the goblin beneath him, cutting the creature in two.

Xavier pulls himself up. As he does so, however, he is badly gouged by a spear adding to his already considerable injuries from the fight with Pavlichek’s bodyguards.

Tharnald lets out another scream as he sees Darry fall next to him. He rips off Darry’s lacey shirt and starts to bind his wounds, oblivious to the dangers from the goblins in front of him.

Luckily for him, before the goblins have a chance to finish him, Jihan dashes in front and starts to lay into the goblins with a dagger in each hand. Both daggers find their mark and one of the goblins crumples beneath him.

Robert is next to him and brings his shortsword to bear on another of the goblins. His blade is on target and yet another goblin falls. As he brings the goblin down, however, a spear stabs him in the shoulder making him cry out in pain.

Yaz singles out the goblin standard bearer and brings his scimitar above his head, bringing it down hard into the side of the goblin. The goblin cries out and tries to exact his revenge upon Yaz, but to no avail, as the kid manages to duck the blow.

Furious now, Bennett tries once more to despatch the pesky goblins. He makes up for lost time by beheading one of the goblins and inflicting a terrible wound upon the other. Winnacer also lashes out and takes out another of the goblins with a terrible blow from his noble longsword. Xavier, not wanting to be outdone by Winnacer, repeats his actions and hacks another of the vermin in two. Jihan is not so lucky. His daggers fail to find their target and he is stabbed in the leg by a goblin spear, although the wound is not severe.

Robert is not so lucky and fails to find his target. Yaz similarly fails to connect with the standard bearer, but the goblin manages to slash into the druid’s arm, causing a wicked rent in it.

Seeing the situation as hopeless, the standard bearer begins to bang on the gong, taking advantage of Yaz’s discomfort. The standard bearer begins to run, along with the three surviving goblins that are not caught in the web.

As the goblins bolt away, Robert takes one of them out and Yaz exacts his revenge upon the standard bearer by bringing him down with his scimitar. Two of the goblins manage to evade the warriors’ blows however, and run for their lives.

As the fighting ceases, Faewen’il shouts out with sadness:

‘I canna do naught for Barra. She’s no more for this world.’

Yaz brushes the weeping Tharnald aside and looks at Darry’s unconscious form.

‘Don’t worry, Tharnald. Darry will live’ the druid says, as he reaches into his herb pouch in order to help aid Darry’s recovery.

The rest of them look on at the two fleeing goblins plus the seven goblins and their orc sargeant who are still struggling to extract themselves from the sticky web.

Immediately that the combat is over, Bennett reaches into his pouch and withdraws an oil-soaked rag that he uses for cleaning his weapons, which he lights using his tinderbox. As soon as the rag is aflame, he tosses it onto the web.

The oily strands of the web explode with a loud 'WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF'

The scene inside the web is truly horrific, as the burning strands of the web melt onto the unfortunate goblins contained within. The goblins start to scream horrific screams as they start running from the webs. However, there is no escape from the conflagration, as the burning strands melt into their flesh inflicting horrific injuries upon them. The majority of the goblins are dead before they have managed to move more than a few feet. Their immolated bodies lay on the ground, burning until their bodies are nothing more than blackened husks.

The orc sargeant somehow manages to survive the conflagration, but stumbles around screaming with the pain. Bennett takes his axe and puts the orc out of its misery with one well-aimed blow to the head.

Winnacer is dripping sweat and leaning heavily on the gore-covered 'Old Bohavia', and it is obvious to all that he is still beaten down from his recent poisoning. He tries to start to pursue the two fleeing goblins, but his body just won't let him. As a result, two of the goblins escape the slaughter that befell the rest of their company.

"Let the runners escape" says Jihan, seeing them flee. "There were plenty of witnesses at the bar last night who were circulating our appearances. A few more won't matter."

They take your eyes off the gruesome sight in order to deal with more pressing matters.

Jihan angrily resheaths his daggers, ignoring the wound on his leg, and moves towards the fallen form of Barra. Crouching down beside her, he cradles the slain woman's head in his hands. He sniffs and lets a single tear fall before looking up at the rest of them, wiping at his eye with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Well," he begins, "we have broken our trust. We have drawn this innocent woman to her death in a battle we could have avoided. What say you all on this?" He says, glaring around.

"When only OUR lives are on the line, then yes, staying and fighting is an option, but she depended on us to return her whole to the safehouse, to begin her life anew. What now of that hope!?!"

Xavier notices the pain of Jihan. A pain which he can no longer feel after so many campaigns. How many innocent people has he seen die in such periods of war? Too many. Only for children can some emotion be seen to be forced from his soul. Evidence the transformed gnome girl in the Witchfinders' Building.

He walks over to Jihan's side and speaks the single word of elven he knows. An astonishing action!

"Jihan, my friend, you can do nothing for her. Her life is but one more victim of der tyranny of der Nyemetz. Use your anger, not towards us but to der bastards who killed her. For her and all der others of this nation, fight and bring them freedom. Only then will her death have meaning. Come, I vill aid thee to carry her. Ve must move quickly."

"The war had nothing to do with this" Jihan replies with a mixture of anger and sadness. "It was US, our actions, our responsibility. We could have ran... We should have ran... Why must we always cry for blood first? I will fight without mercy to defend country or innocents, when I must. We are not indestructible... we did not have to fight here..."

Looking towards Faewen'il for some support, the elf drops his gaze to the ground.

"I am too frail, serondil," he says to Xavier. "Please carry her..."

Xavier walks over and starts to pick up the fallen body of Barra. However, the Saxon too is weak from all of the injuries sustained during the long evening. Bennett, somewhat guilty at leading the attack, comes to help Xavier support the form of the deceased barmaid.

For one who looks like a Witchfinder, Winnacer's eyes are very sympathetic to the elf's feelings:

"There is no justice in it, my friend. But do not be forgetting about those who still depend on us."

Winnacer looks towards the real Darry and Tharnald.

"Hold your feelings and resentment in check until we all are safe. Let us make haste."

Nodding, Jihan turns and motions for the others to follow as he makes his way back to safety.

Cautiously, they start to make your way back to the safehouse, with Yaz and Robert carrying the fallen Darry between them. On the journey, Yaz speaks with Robert:

"Uh, look, I flipped out at you, old boy. I'm sorry. I really lost it. You're not a cretin. You're a good chap. And you did what you thought would help. No worries, OK?"

He gives him a friendly pat on the back of his knee and looks up at him with big round eyes.

Robert grins back at his diminutive mentor:

'That's OK, Mr. Liebermann. What is a cretin, anyway?'

Once again it is a slow, circuitous journey back to the safehouse. It becomes obvious to them all that they just avoided meeting more of the Nyemetz patrols who were alerted to the scuffle in front of The Coach & Horses, as they see a great amount of movement headed in that direction. However, the Nyemetz hurry to get to the scene works in their favor, as they are paying little heed to the shadows that hide the party members. After half an hour, the welcoming sight of the doors to the safehouse come into view.

Upon knocking the coded knock upon the door, it swings open and two of Boris' henchmen welcome them inside and help to hurry them inside and up the ladders to the rooms.

Boris looks concerned as he sees them all emerging through the trapdoor, seeing how almost all of them seem to be suffering from one injury or another. As he sees the forms of Darry and Barra being carried up, he closes his eyes and turns his back on the room, so as to be alone in his grief.

Marketa starts wailing as she sees the form of Barra with an arrow still stuck in her neck and her dress covered in blood. Jihan tries to comfort her, but struggles to find any words of consolation for her. Darry's eyes open briefly and he smiles as he sees the form of Tharnald watching over him, and then he falls into unconsciousness once more. At least he will live, however.

Yulius the Apothecary is still amongst those in the safehouse. He reaches into his sack and brings out some vials of a yellowish colored liquid, giving one to all of those who are injured.

'Rub these on your wounds' he says to them all. 'They will not cure you immediately, but will aid the speed of your natural recovery.'

He then looks down at the broken form of Barra and shakes his head.

'It is with deep regret, however, that I cannot do anything for her.'

Boris takes a deep breath and returns to the party. He tells some of his henchmen to escort Marketa back to her home. Before they take her away, Yulius gives her a pinkish colored vial and tells her to drink it, telling her that it will help to calm her nerves and allow her to sleep. The henchmen escort her away from the safehouse.

They all sit around the room feeling both tired and distressed from the events of the past few hours. Boris speaks to them all:

'It is late now and you must be very tired. Please, get some sleep now. You are in no fit state to move for a while. We shall meet again in the morning and discuss what assistance I can provide for your next actions at that time.'

As the adrenaline that has been pumping through their bodies starts to subside, they realize that it is 4.00 a.m. and that they have not slept in almost 24 hours. With the extra numbers that they have picked up during the past two days, there are no longer sufficient rooms for them to have one each, and so they are forced to double up. Sonya leads Faewen'il away and takes her into one of the rooms.

All of them then fall asleep, glad that the day is over.