Moments of Regret
By Nicoleia (Nic) (stardestiny@bigfoot.com)
-
On the third day, Jack began to accept the fact that Daniel wasn't
going to show up. He'd checked the hotel, and the restaurant, and
the market across the road countless times and always found nothing
but scared people waiting for the day when the Goa'uld would come.
Jack was surprised that the Lamplighter was still operating (on a
barter basis now) and it gave him a reasonably comfortable place to
sleep and served passable food.
He sat in the restaurant watching the harried waitress scurry from
table to table. She needed more help but it was very unlikely any
would appear. Jack wondered if he could offer his own assistance,
because he felt a little guilty bartering with his knowledge of the
Goa'uld no matter how many willing buyers there were. If he could
work in return for his accommodation....
....Then again, time was running out. Three days and no sign of
Daniel, and as each day passed, Jack felt his heart growing a
little heavier. He knew Daniel and he knew Daniel would have made
it to their rendezvous no matter what. Nothing would have kept
Daniel away short of capture or death. It was the latter option
Jack never wanted to consider.
Poking the charred pancakes one last time, Jack forced himself to
swallow them. Who knew when he'd get another chance to eat? He
knew that emergency rations were stashed in various installations
around the country but finding one intact was always a problem.
The thought didn't help the pancakes go down any more easily and he
swallowed his shot of orange juice in one gulp, hoping that his
stomach wouldn't hate him later. He then cleared his plate away
(life in the military had taught him well) before wandering back to
his room one last time. Past the now empty swimming pool, down the
open air corridor and across the empty car park. The sun blazed
down and the sky was impossibly blue, the blue colour of hope that
made Jack angry every time he saw it. What right did the sky have
to be so happy when the whole world had gone to hell?
It was time to go. Jack gathered his somewhat clean jacket from
his tiny room and sighed with regret. "Bye, Daniel," he said
softly to the empty room.
*
If Daniel was the type to swear, he would have been cursing under
his breath right at that moment. But since he never felt exactly
comfortable doing that, he chose a random stream of curse words
from alien and ancient languages. The satisfaction was still there
even if people couldn't understand him.
He was late. And it wasn't just a little bit late, say five
minutes or an hour. Three days late was certainly Daniel's best
achievement yet and the worst thing was, he didn't even really have
a good excuse. Well, he'd been helping people as much as he could
and the whole process of being constantly on the run was
exhausting. So when Daniel had finally found a safe looking barn
to hide in, he'd slept. And slept. As far as Daniel knew he'd
lost a good 2 days or so, he wasn't exactly sure, but upon resuming
his trek down to Santa Fe Daniel had suddenly realised that he
didn't even know what date it was anymore.
It was easy to do, he told himself over and over. And not many
people were bothering to look at the old calendars so how could he
be expected to know when the thirty days were up? It wasn't that
he didn't want to meet Jack, in fact, it was the exact opposite.
Looking forward to seeing his old friend was the only thing that
kept him going most days. He was so tired of the loneliness and
the despair he saw all around him.
Truth be told, he was afraid of being alone. And as every day
passed, Daniel's longing for things to return to the way they used
to be crumbled just a little more and he had begun to believe that
he would never get his family back.
The car began to chug its way up yet another mountain and Daniel
paused in his quasi-litany to encourage the engine instead. "Come
on, you can do it...." His eyes were on the dwindling speedometer
and as a result, he almost didn't see the motorbike that came
roaring over the hill and screeched to a stop two feet in front of
the car, throwing its driver onto the bonnet.
Instinctively, Daniel slammed on the brakes but not before the
rider had become firmly plastered to the windscreen, blocking
Daniel's view. There was a terrible grinding sound of metal on
metal. Daniel resumed his cursing - it was something to do - and
this time let the odd English word slip out as the car finally
shuddered to a stop and the rider slid back to the ground, right
next to the newly-mangled motorbike.
Daniel burst out of the car. He'd recognised the colour of army
fatigues and he recognised the figure on the ground. The word,
"No," fell from his lips but he was barely aware of it, his heart
thrumming in his ears as he took step after terrible step closer to
the person he had maybe killed, the one person left alive and free
to care about. The unmistakable boots, which Daniel had once been
coerced into cleaning, confirmed the truth. "Jack." And Daniel
was alone again.
His hands trembling, Daniel reached down to lift the visor on
Jack's helmet. Part of him was hoping that his instincts were
wrong and this was just someone with a similar figure, the same
outfit, but when the visor was up two familiar brown eyes stared up
at him. And blinked. "God, Danny, now you try to kill people to
get their attention?"
Daniel just stared back.
"Would you help me up here? I don't think anything's broken but
that car packs a punch." Jack started to push himself up on his
arms and groaned, Daniel instantly reaching to help him.
"Jack, I am so sorry, I didn't see you come flying over the hill,
I wasn't thinking, it's so good to see you, I'm so glad you're
alive! Where were you going anyway?" The apologies and questions
tumbled from his lips as he helped Jack to his feet, reaching out
to steady the older man when it looked like Jack would tumble over.
"Well, I'm gonna be sore tomorrow," Jack stated, tilting his head
and arching his back. He then proceeded to shake out his arms
while giving the bike a sorrowful look. "There goes another one."
After a half-hearted laugh, he continued, "You'd think I'd get used
to it by now, wouldn't ya?"
"Um...yeah. No." Daniel didn't have a clue what Jack was talking
about. All he was really aware of was the fact that he was still
trembling and he was pretty sure that Jack was too. "Are you
really okay?"
Jack shrugged. "I will be." He glanced around, taking in the
lonely mountain spot. Large green trees decorated each side of the
winding road and other hills loomed around them. "What are you
doing out here, Daniel? And why weren't you in Santa Fe? I waited
three entire days!"
"I - I lost track of the date," Daniel admitted, his face glowing
red.
Jack was almost speechless. "You forgot?!" He looked like he
couldn't believe it. How could Daniel forget?
"I didn't forget, Jack, I said I lost track of the date! I got
confused! You should understand that at least - I was helping
people out there and all the days started to blur into one
another."
Jack was shaking his head with complete incredulity.
"Geeze, Jack, you were gonna go off and leave me behind just
because I was a few days late?!" Daniel continued, his heart
pounding as the emotion of the near-miss caught up with him. He
needed to rant and scream, he needed to prove that they were alive.
"I had every right to leave you!" Jack shouted back. "For all I
knew you were dead just like everyone else! And Sam's rotting away
in that prison while I just sat there!"
That stopped Daniel short. "Sam?" Hope coloured his face. "You
know where she is?"
And just like that, the accident and fight were forgotten and Jack
told Daniel what he knew, about how some prison facilities had been
set up for important people and since Daniel had seen Sam being
tended to in a makeshift camp then the Goa'uld had probably figured
out she was worth keeping alive. The only Goa'uld-occupied prison
facility relatively near to the old mountain base was several days
hike north of them, in Florence, Colorado.
Taking one last look at the totalled bike, Jack said, "I'm
driving." Daniel didn't dare protest.
*
They travelled north for days, abandoning the car shortly after the
Colorado border as they returned to populated territory. Jack knew
that climbing the mountains would be agonising without the speed of
vehicular transport, but his first escape from Cheyenne all those
months ago had also been on foot and he had survived. So had
Daniel.
He said as much late one evening and Daniel only wearily pointed
out, "Yes, but we were going *down* at the time." Jack didn't have
the energy to debate the point. His legs ached intolerably from
the intensity of the climb and he was finding it difficult to
believe that the roads truly were the best ways up and through the
mountains. The bruises from the accident didn't help much either.
Still, there was no one to complain to but Daniel and that was the
last thing Jack wanted to do.
"Do you ever think about what it'll be like after?" Daniel suddenly
asked, breaking the night silence.
Jack tossed aside the crumpled wrapper from his ration bar, and
then retrieved it after Daniel's gentle but chiding glare. "After
what?" He stuffed the wrapper into the base of his pack, wondering
just who would care about trash out here because there certainly
weren't any more hiking tours.
"After this." Gesturing expansively, Daniel seemed to take in the
entirety of the heavens above. "This thing we're doing. This war.
There's only so long that we're going to be able to fight."
"Yeah, we fight until we win," Jack said, but his tone was far from
matching the optimism of his words.
"And then what?" Daniel repeated his question. "Do we go back to
the Stargate program? We have no way of knowing if our old lives
will even exist." He paused to rub at his temples. "I guess they
won't exist, I mean, the entire world knows about the Stargate now.
It's not exactly a secret and I can see every published scientist
vying for time to study it."
"Hey," and Jack gave Daniel what he hoped was a supporting grin.
"We're the best, Daniel, and I think we get first dibs."
"As long as they don't stone us to death for withholding
information," Daniel responded grimly. There was silence after
that for a while until Daniel repeated his question. "Seriously,
Jack, what do we have to go back to?"
Jack shrugged. He didn't like to think about the future too much,
he was focussed on the here and now. "Let's say we manage to find
Carter, and Teal'c, and maybe even General Hammond. If we win
we're gonna need to do something to make sure this never happens
again. And if we lose-" Jack shrugged "- then I don't think I'll
be around that long."
"Don't say that!" Daniel suddenly interrupted, almost violently.
Shaking his head, Jack said, "Get used to it, Daniel. Chances are
that neither of us will make it out of this war alive. We've been
lucky so far, that's all."
"No," said Daniel and he put his hand on Jack's arm. "I want you
to promise me that you won't go off and get yourself killed. No
matter how bad things get there's always a reason to go on
fighting."
The intensity in Daniel's voice chilled Jack and he tried to shake
it off. If he admitted the truth, he could see himself in a
suicidal state again if he lost everyone. As long as there was
something to fight for then Jack was going to continue the
struggle. But afterward....
He lifted his eyes to meet Daniel's. "I can't promise that," he
said sincerely, hoping Daniel would understand. Hero's death and
all that. "I'll do what I have to do and if it comes down to it
then I'm prepared to make the sacrifice."
Daniel nodded. "So am I," he echoed softly "But not unless we
have to," he cautioned. "Jack, think about it first. Okay?"
Daniel's face was in shadow and Jack suddenly wished for a fire, so
he could see what the younger man was thinking, but he had to make
do with the words, the voice, and the gentle pressure on his arm
that seemed reluctant to let go.
"Yeah, okay," Jack finally granted and nothing more was said.
The endless trek was filled with silence during the long, hot days,
and only at night were stories share. But there were some things
that were too awful to be recounted, things that Jack knew to keep
to himself. And even though Jack and Daniel didn't talk much,
their actions spoke volumes. They were in this together, on a
mission, and even if it nearly killed them to get there, they were
going to see it through. "First Carter, then the world!" Jack
joked one sunny morning. Daniel had grinned in response.
A look was all Jack required to know how Daniel was feeling and
vice versa, and for the most part they were feeling exactly the
same thing. Despair mixed with desperation and hope as they
approached their destination, and an almost overwhelming fear of
what they would find.
They didn't speak of the accident, nor of the fact that they so
easily could have lost track of each other again. It was almost as
if fate had a hand in it and that was something Jack didn't want to
dwell on too much. His focus had to be in the here and now.
*
The installation in Florence used to be a prison, that much Jack
could tell. For a moment he wondered what had happened to the
original occupants but then decided he was probably better off not
thinking about that at all. It was low-security style although the
security had certainly been increased as demonstrated by the
patrolling Jaffa. Jack counted one every half hour, more near the
entrances. However, the guards rarely seemed alert and their
parading was apparently more a show of strength than much else.
It made perfect sense, Jack reflected, because this long after
invasion they probably weren't anticipating any attacks. He said
as much to Daniel who rapidly agreed. "I don't think they're
actually expecting anyone to break *in*," Daniel added. He smiled
softly causing Jack to wonder just what Daniel was thinking.
They hid, sprawled on their stomachs underneath conveniently placed
bushes, watching and learning as much as they could during the long
first day. Jack carefully noted times of deliveries and the like,
although he didn't know how useful his measurements would be given
that they were based upon a time system that the Goa'uld probably
paid no attention to. Once his watch batteries died, Jack knew
that he wouldn't rely much on 24 hour time either.
Night fell and with it, the number of guards increased. Jack
sighed as he looked at his companion. "Guess that means we attack
by daylight."
Daniel shook his head, lightly punching Jack on the arm. "We're
not attacking it, Jack. We're going to do this using the time
honoured method of being surreptitious."
"You mean sneak in?"
"Yeah." It wasn't much of a joke but it was enough to cause them
both to smile and Jack knew they needed it.
"So how much longer do we stay here?" Daniel shifted in his
position, obviously uncomfortable. "My arm is dead and I don't
really like the idea of hiding under a bush all night...."
"Shhh," Jack suddenly hissed in his ear, resisting the urge to
clamp a hand over Daniel's mouth because that would make more noise
than it was worth. "I see something."
That something was a side door opening as a small man wandered out.
Alone. He glanced from side to side before scurrying off to the
left. "Stay down," Jack said to Daniel and carefully got up into
a crouching position. He left the safety of the bush's cover and
stayed close to the shadows as he followed the little man. Jack
watched with interest as the man met with another shadowy figure,
this one somewhat taller. A parcel was handed over in exchange for
what looked like a packet of cigarettes. Jack's assumption was
proved correct when the little man lit one and exhaled blissfully
while his contact slithered off into the night.
Naturally, Jack had to follow. He shot one look of regret over his
shoulder - after all, he was abandoning Daniel - but there was just
no time to go back for him. Jack had to find out *now* if this
avenue was worth pursuing. It could just be there ticket in there.
Down street after street Jack followed, wanting to get as far from
the prison facility as possible. When Jack deemed the location
safe enough, he burst free from the shadows and before the man had
time to react, Jack had the Zat gun pressed to the man's temple and
a hand across the man's mouth. "If you want to live, don't make a
sound."
He waited one moment for an answer before realising that his
prisoner wouldn't be able to answer anyway. "Okay, I'll trust you
on that." Jack lowered his hand.
"Please don't kill me!" Thankfully it was a whisper rather than a
shout.
"Give me one good reason why not," Jack countered, taking the time
to assess the figure before him. The man showed all the signs of
yet another destitute human who had nowhere to go now that the
Goa'uld had taken over everything that was part of his former life.
"We only wanted medical supplies, nothing more. My wife is dying!
Please, let me go to her."
Frowning, Jack said, "These supplies...you got them from the
Goa'uld?" The man shook his head almost desperately.
"No, not the Goa'uld, not directly. I didn't steal them! I
bartered for them, it's what we all have to do now to survive,
surely you know that. I can see it in your eyes, you're fighting
them too."
Jack finally dropped the Zat gun. "Yeah," he admitted. "Listen,
I'm not going to stop you helping your wife. I've lost enough
people in this war and I know what it's like."
The man's relief was obvious even before he said, "Thank you."
"Just one thing," Jack added. "You got the supplies from the
prison."
"From the hospital section," the man said. "We're very lucky to
have a contact in there."
"Someone military?"
"No, no, nothing like that." The man gave a nervous laugh. "If
you ask me, he's crazy in the head and there's no way a man like
that should be allowed to tend to patients. He works for the
Goa'uld but he'll trade almost anything for a cigarette. The only
tricky thing is finding them - the factories stopped making 'em
months ago now and they're kinda scarce."
"I see," Jack said casually. "This contact of yours - does he have
a name?"
"Dr. Martin," was the response. "Be careful because he's not
exactly discreet. Maybe that's why he hasn't been caught yet, the
Goa'uld know about his little drug problem and don't care."
Shrugging, the man said, "He comes and goes as he pleases. He's
probably tagged or something. But he's the only hope for my wife."
Suddenly aware of how vulnerable and exposed he was and knowing he
had the information he required, Jack sped up the end of the
conversation. "Right. Thanks. Bye." And he crawled back into
the shadows, all the way back to Daniel who was almost having
kittens with worry.
"Where did you go?" Daniel hissed. "The man went back inside
almost an hour ago! God, Jack, I thought they'd caught you!"
Daniel seized his arms, way too hard, his blue eyes almost staring
into Jack's soul. "You can't leave me alone in this, okay?"
"Calm down, Danny," Jack said. "I'm fine. Listen, we should
continue this somewhere else. I think I have our ticket into that
place."
But Daniel did not calm down, not even when they were holed up safe
in an empty house and preparing to get at least a little sleep (in
shifts, of course). "I meant what I said earlier," Daniel said,
crossing his arms across his chest and leaning against the wall for
what little support it provided.
"What?"
"Don't take off again. Don't leave me. I've lost everything and
everyone else in my life, Jack, and I don't think I could handle it
if I lost you."
Daniel was so sincere and desperate it was frightening. "Hey,
Daniel, I'm here. It's okay."
"No, it's not okay!" Daniel near exploded. "We're fighting for
our lives and you are just the same as always, going off and doing
your own thing with no concern for anyone else! Jack, there's no
point in rescuing Sam if you're going to get yourself killed in
doing so!" He paused to take a deep breath. "If anyone's going to
sacrifice themselves it should be me."
"No," Jack instantly protested.
"Why not?" Daniel said morosely, threading his fingers together.
"I'm the one who lost her, I'm the one who's falling apart now.
It's you this country needs."
Sighing, Jack sat back against the wall next to Daniel and was
gratified to see the younger man slide down to his level. He
couldn't deny the truth of Daniel's statement but at the same time,
he rejected it. "Daniel, you are not going to sacrifice yourself
for Sam. No one is. Tomorrow we're going to find out if anyone
knows where she is and then plan a rescue. Plan being the
operative word here."
"Promise?" And Daniel sounded like a scared, lost little boy.
"I promise," Jack said, and took Daniel's hand to seal the vow.
They gazed at each other, Jack seeing all of Daniel's fears, and
the pain of loss, reflected from his own eyes. "We will survive
this." They held the stare for endless moments until Daniel
finally dropped his gaze and wryly smiled.
"Guess I'm kind of going off the deep end here," he said.
"Nah," Jack instinctively replied before responding with his own
smile. "Well, maybe just a little."
Daniel was shaking his head as he said, "I thought I was stronger
than this. After all I've seen, you'd think I could cope with a
little thing like the Goa'uld invading Earth and destroying the SGC
and probably killing half my friends."
"Hey. That's not a little thing," Jack said. "It's a freakin'
huge thing and neither of us is dealing with it too well." To be
honest, Jack had barely begun to deal with it at all. It was the
classic soldier training - to put it out of his mind until it was
all over. He would have time for regret and grief later, much
later when it was all over or when he was dead and by then it
wouldn't matter much anyway. At least Daniel had the sense to be
scared and everything that came with it *now*.
"We have to deal with it, though," Daniel said softly. "Now or
later, but...things will never be the same, will they?"
"No."
There wasn't much that could be said after that. After a while,
Jack reluctantly dropped Daniel's hand, regretting the loss of
contact because something, or someone, tangible to hold on to was
reassuring somehow. And it was more proof of what Daniel had
gotten him to realise, that they were in this together now because
the war wasn't about defeating the Goa'uld, it was about winning
Earth back so that people could connect and live free in the
knowledge that they, and those they cared about, were safe.
*
"Dr. Martin!" Daniel called in what he hoped was a friendly and
trustworthy voice. It didn't stop Martin from jumping about three
feet into the air in terror.
"Who's there, who is it, who knows my name?" Martin babbled in near
panic.
"Shhh, it's okay!" Daniel peeked out from behind the bush and held
his hands up in a universal sign of peace and friendship. "My name
is Peter and I'm looking for a friend of mine. A friend of yours
told me that you could help."
"A friend of mine?" repeated Martin, sending furtive glances to the
left and right before pulling out a cigarette. "Ah," he said.
"Never used to smoke, no no no, they were bad for me, but in this
place you see bad things and you need something good." He held the
pack out to Daniel who quickly shook his head in the negative.
"Smoking is good, it makes me calm." Martin suddenly flashed a
smile at Daniel. "They let me smoke, you know, they let me come
out here because they know how much they need me."
"I'm very glad for you," Daniel said carefully. "Dr. Martin, I
understand you are an important person to the Goa'uld." This was
a guess on Daniel's part but as he studied the little man, he got
the impression that Martin was no longer a competent doctor of
anything and based his life upon the opinions of others.
Martin took another long drag before his face unexpectedly
rearranged itself from bliss into surprise. "You've heard of me,
then, oh how wonderful!"
"Yes," agreed Daniel. "I've also heard that you can show me the
way inside." He gestured towards the complex.
"Inside? Why would you want to go inside?"
"I need to find out if my friend is in there," Daniel said. "She
was very sick and since this is a hospital I thought she might be
here." A worrying thought came to him. "Do you ever see the
patients?" He highly doubted the Goa'uld would trust Dr. Martin to
even go near them. Then again, they needed the man for something.
"I see the patients all the time!" Martin seemed a little
indignant. "I am a *doctor*, remember, and a doctor isn't very
good unless he sees his patients! I see all of the patients they
bring in here and they all like me, yes they do."
Hope rising in his heart, Daniel was nonetheless careful to keep
his voice carefully neutral as he asked the next question. He
certainly didn't need to hear Jack hissing from the bushes
reminding him to ask about Sam. "Then maybe you already know my
friend and you can tell me if she's here. Her name is Sam."
The man frowned. "Sam? That's not much of a name for a girl, no
it's not!" He shook his hear. "No girls here called Sam."
"Oh," Daniel said softly, trying not to let his disappointment
show. Then again, Sam could have given an alias. "Maybe she used
another name?"
"Now why would she do that," Martin said matter-of-factly. "They
always find out the real names in here, yes they do. No point in
lying!" He suddenly glanced around and then at his watch. "Oooh,
time is up. I have to go, Peter."
"No, wait!" Daniel protested, because Martin was already turning
around. "What about Carter?" No response. "Samantha?"
And that got a reaction. Martin turned, a huge smile on his face.
"Oh, Samantha! Lovely, lovely Samantha, my friend Samantha. Such
a lovely girl but oh, what lies she did tell!"
"You know her?" It was a stupid question and earned him a thwack
on the ankles from the still hidden Jack.
"Yes, yes, I know Samantha." He paused, frowning at Daniel. "Are
you Daniel? But no, your name is Peter. Maybe you know Daniel or
Colonel or Daddy."
Daniel's jaw dropped. This was the proof they needed - that it was
their Sam, but surely she wouldn't have spoken of them unless she
was under great duress? It was something Daniel didn't want to
think about. "Yes, I know them," he finally answered. "I can tell
Sam - um - Samantha all about them if you help us find her.
"Take you to her, I can, but not now." Martin spun on his heel.
"Not now? Then when?"
But Dr. Martin had already gone back inside, muttering to himself
all the way.
Unable to keep the smile off of his face, Daniel ducked back into
the bushes and tripped over the anxious Jack. He knocked the
breath out of both of them but somehow, Daniel didn't think Jack
would care. "Did you hear that? Sam's here!" he said jubilantly,
as loudly as he dared.
"I know," Jack replied and the grin on his face matched Daniel's
exactly. It was their first lucky break of the entire war. Maybe
things were starting to go right after all. Maybe their hoping
hadn't been in vain.
*
What seemed days later but in reality was only about four hours,
Dr. Martin finally reappeared at his little side entrance. Jack
nudged Daniel in the ribs but the warning was hardly necessary.
Both had not moved from their position and sleep or loss of
concentration was impossible. Slowly, they began to scramble into
crouching positions, shaking out limbs deadened from lack of
movement.
The ritualistic glances were performed by the doctor and Daniel
allowed him to light his cigarette and enjoy a few drags before
finally emerging, Jack close behind him. They hadn't really
discussed a strategy for this, the general plan being follow Martin
in to Sam and then get back out. Somehow. Jack of course had his
weapon and had given Daniel careful instructions on using it if
necessary.
"Ah, Peter, my friend!" Martin said upon spying the emerging pair.
"And who is this? Another friend?"
"Yes," Daniel said quickly, "this is Dennis." He plucked the name
from thin air and heard Jack's obviously offended little snort
behind him but resolutely ignored it. "We both want to visit
Samantha. You said you would take us to her?"
For a moment, Martin appeared to be confused. His eyes darted from
one face to another before he finally said, "Ah yes, little
Samantha. Come, come." He threw his cigarette on the ground and
stamped it out, muttering, "Wasn't much left anyway. There's never
much left." Martin stepped up to the door and pushed it open.
With one last glance behind him he asked, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Jack answered for both of them and boldly strode forward,
Daniel following close behind. The gloom of the compound instantly
surrounded them - it was another impossibly sunny day outside but
of course, with electricity a precious resource, lighting was a
rare commodity. As soon as his eyes adjusted, Daniel was grateful
to notice that the corridor seemed mercifully empty.
"It's not so busy anymore," Dr. Martin revealed. "They took some
away and others got moved, just like Samantha did." He sighed.
"Poor, poor Samantha, but she should not have lied."
"Is she okay?" Daniel asked, pressing closer to Jack in an effort
to hear Martin's constant ramblings.
"She was a very bad girl but she's better now. She doesn't lie any
more!" Martin seemed almost gleeful at the revelation. His very
tone sent shivers down Daniel's spine and Daniel shuddered,
remembering what it was like to go through Goa'uld torture. He
couldn't blame Sam for crumbling.
They scurried through corridor after corridor, Martin apparently
knowing exactly how to dodge the Goa'uld and their servant allies.
At one time he roughly pulled them into a side room, hissing, "Keep
quiet now, yes?" While Jack had kept guard at the door, Daniel
took a brief moment to look around. There were two beds filled
with wasted figures. He could tell they were human but beyond that
not much else. Each had an IV drip attached to their arms
dispersing something that was orange coloured. Daniel felt bile
rise in his throat for the thousandth time but there was nothing he
could do to help them, he was there for Sam. They both were.
"Safe now," Martin finally said and they resumed their clandestine
walk through the corridors. "Close now, yes we are, just up ahead
is little Samantha!"
Daniel realised he was trembling. He reached forward to grab
Jack's arm and Jack let him and now it was almost like he was being
dragged along but that was okay, because Daniel needed something to
hold on to. So close now.
Dr. Martin grandly threw open a door. A blast of light blinded
both Jack and Daniel. "Here she is!" Martin announced. The two
men took a hesitant step forward, hearts pounding, nerves afire,
prepared for both an attack and a reunion.
But the place before them was calm. A small garden, with ragged
green grass decorated by crude white crosses. The garden was
empty.
"See, there she is!" giggled Dr. Martin and pointed to a cross on
the right. "My dear little Samantha, I put her here myself, you
know!"
Daniel didn't want to take the step forward and he didn't want to
proceed to the cross and the last thing he wanted to do was read
the name that said "Samantha Carter" but his body was moving by
itself by now and even as he fought against it, his mind
comprehended the name. Daniel stumbled backwards, his eyes
blurring with tears, but no one caught him because Jack had sunk to
his knees before the cross.
"Carter," Jack whispered, reaching out to touch it. "Sam."
"Sam," Daniel echoed. It was the only thing he could say through
the shock of it all. Endless moments passed as they paused at her
grave, staring, in shock, wondering how they could ever go on
again.
Jack eventually got to his feet and stood proud and tall. "It was
an honour having you under my command, Major Carter," he said, his
voice tight and strained. And then he saluted, the stiffness of
his body betrayed by the trembling of his hand.
The image embedded itself into Daniel's mind as he watched, unable
to move, unable to comprehend, unable to do anything except feel
the crushing numbness and despair that Sam was dead.
And he accepted, for the first time, that SG1 would never be
reunited.
And then Jack turned, his eyes blazing with fury. "The Goa'uld
will pay," he vowed. "They will pay. We will kick every damned
Goa'uld off this planet and straight into hell."
It was a promise they both intended to keep.
---
End.
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