Title: Candles of Life
Author: Gill, Jr.
E-mail Address: Mement0Mori@aol.com
Rating: NC-17
Category: TRA
Spoilers: The whole Scully cancer arc, basically.
Keywords: CHARACTER DEATH, MSR, Adventure
Summary: Scully is sick with her cancer again, and has just one month to live.
Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and any other X-Files character that I mention
in this story belong to CC, 1013, Fox, and the talented actors who portray
them. The song I put at the end, "Tighter and Tighter," belongs to
Soundgarden. No infringement intended.
Author's Notes: I just want everyone to know that despite the fact that this
is a character death fanfic, I would recommend you read it. It is not
depressing, (honestly, I think I handled it well), and throughout most of the
story, there are many happy times. I, myself, don't even like to read Mulder
or Scully death fanfic, unless it is extremely well-written. And this story,
IMHO, is very well written. It is my longest one yet, and hopefully, my best
one yet. So please, read it! :)
Feedback: A must-have!! Please, if you take the time to read this, would you
take just a few minutes to let me know what you thought of it? I will read
letters of encouragement, constructive criticism, but I WILL delete flames.
Be kind! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~35 Candles~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fanfic by Gill, Jr.
When Dana Scully woke up that morning, she felt something trickle down
her lip. She knew instantly what it was.
She tried to get out of bed, but
found it took a lot of energy. But she pushed herself up and then positioned
herself so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She slowly dabbed her
finger under her nose and felt the wetnes. She then lowered her finger to
her line of vision and cringed at the sight of the single, crimson drop. She
looked down and then realized for the first time that her t-shirt also had
blood on it...a lot of it. Her eyes then traveled over her pillow. There
were traces of blood there, as well as on the sheets. There was more blood
there than there had ever been before. Shocked, she got up and walked to the
bathroom, each slow step matching the beats of her heart. She picked a wash
cloth out of the linin closet, ran the water in her sink, and stripped off
her blood-stained t-shirt; the usual routine. Wetting the washcloth under
the cold water, she lightly dabbed at the skin above her lip. Never looking
away from her reflection in the mirror, she dabbed at the trail of blood that
went from her nose, to her lip, to her chin, to her neck, to her breast. She
then went back into her bedroom and gathered up her sheets. She hoped
washing them would get the stains out. If not, she would have to buy a new
set. What did it really matter? Her cancer had returned. She felt her eyes
sting, a familiar feeling, and let herself fall to the floor, crying.
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Dana awoke a few hours later, finding herself curled up in the fetal
position. She quickly touched her nose. No nosebleed this time. Shaking
her head, she got up and stepped into her bathroom, ready to take a bath.
Not a shower. She needed the peace and tranquility of a bubblebath to clear
her mind. As if that was possible.
She scanned the row of bubblebath fluids in the glass containers. She
picked up the white one. Vanilla. It was her favorite. She filled up the
tub with warm water and poured a tiny portion of the bottle into the steaming
water. She then took off her remaining clothes and climbed into the water,
which was now almost filled to the brim. She reached forward and turned off
the faucet. She sunk down into the water, so her whole body was submerged
except her head, hoping the water would strip her of her shock, worry, or
maybe even help her get away from life, itself.
came an inner
voice.
For the second time that morning, she felt her eyes sting with tears.
She sunk all the way down into the water, whispering, "Oh, God..."
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As soon as Dana got out of the tub, she called her doctor, Dr. Phillip
Kantor. She got the receptionist.
"You've reached the office of Dr. Phillip Kantor, how may I help you?"
the secretary said so fast, Dana almost had trouble understanding her.
"Yes, I need to schedule an appointment. It's urgent that I come in
immediately."
"Name, please?"
"Dana Scully."
"Okay, what day and what time would be good for you?"
"Well, actually, I'd like to see him *today...*"
"Okay, that's fine," said the receptionist. "Is 3:00 good?"
"Yes, that's fine. Thank you."
"Buh-bye."
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Shock. That was the first thing that had registered in her mind when
she'd been given her prognosis.
She walked through the doors of her apartment building and rode the
elevator up to her room. She walked slowly down the hall. Time seemed to
slow, along with her heart, the beats in synchrony with her footfalls. Shock.
She took out her keys and opened the door. She walked inside and threw
her keys on the coffee table. She then shut the door, but did not move.
With her back against the door, she slid down slowly, until she was sitting
on the floor. Shock.
She sat there for the longest time, until she decided she'd have to do
what she'd dreaded most; tell Mulder.
It was then that she wished she had psychokinetic power to make her phone
magically lift off the table and go into her hands. The blood they'd drawn,
and all the other tests they'd done had left her weakened. She forced
herself up and picked up the phone, dialing Mulder's number. She kicked off
her shoes and stretched out on the couch. the phone seemed to ring on
forever until she heard his voice: "Hi, this is Fox Mulder. Leave a message,
please."
she thought. She was just about to hang up when the answering
machine was cut off by someone picking up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Mulder. It's me," she said.
"Oh, hey, Scully. Is...something wrong?"
she thought, but did not say aloud.
She knew her news would scare him; she didn't want to make matters worse.
God, how did he always know when something was wrong?!
Without giving him a 'yes' or 'no' answer, she said, "I need to talk to
you."
"Now?" he asked.
"Yes. Now." she thought.
"Okay. I'll be right over."
"Okay," Scully murmured, barely above a whisper.
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Scully hung up the phone and then stretched out on her couch, waiting for
Mulder to come. She didn't know how she would tell him. She didn't know how
she'd tell *anyone*. But, as hard as it was, she'd have to do it. Sighing,
she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
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Scully was startled out of her sleep by the sound of knocking at her
door. She yelled, "Coming!" and got up to answer the door. As expected, it
was Mulder. Opening the door, she forced a smile.
"Come on in," she said to him, gesturing towards the inside of her
apartment. He stepped in and waited for her to tell him it was O.K. to sit
down.
"Have a seat." She followed behind him to the couch. Mulder took a seat
on the far end, but turned himself so that he could look at her when she
talked.
Scully delved right into the conversation, knowing it would just be
easier to get it over with.
"I woke up with blood on my pillow this morning, Mulder."
Instantly, Mulder went pale.
"We can, we can give you tests, though, Scully! You'll be allright!"
Scully shook her head slowly.
"Not this time." Mulder's jaw dropped open.
"Mulder..." she continued, "Mulder, I went to the doctor today. He
said..." she bit her lip, no longer able to control her emotions. Before she
could finish her sentence, a tear fell from her eye and trailed down her
face. "He said..."
"It's okay, Scully, go on," he urged, though he, too, knew he was close
to tears.
"He said that I'm dying and have three weeks to live."
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After the words were out of her mouth, Dana felt herself break down.
She put her head in her lap and wrapped her arms around her knees, shaking
violently from the sobs that wracked her.
Mulder moved forward on the couch and reached out for her. Scully
quickly let go of herself and reached for him, wrapping her arms around his
neck. She clung to him as if she were drowning. Mulder buried his face in
her hair and stroked the titian strands while his other hand did the same to
her back. His tears fell then, despite his will.
"Shh, shh. It's okay, Dana, it's allright. It's allright," he whispered
to her over and over. Hearing this lie she wished so desperately were true,
she clung even tighter to him. After a while, she realized it was time to
let go.
She gave hime one last, assuring squeeze, and then slowly withdrew from
him. She went back to the position she was in before and put her chin on her
knees, trying to gather her thoughts. Sensing that she wanted to speak
again, Mulder sat there, patiently.
"Mulder, I feel that...that we should spend as much time together as
possible. I don't know when exactly I'll go...I might not even have a month.
I need you to be with me when I die," she said, taking his hand.
Mulder nodded, silently agreeing with her. She continued on.
"I know it's extremely hard for both of us, now. I think we need each
other so that we can deal with this. Mulder...what I'm trying to say is...I
think you should move in with me for the month."
Mulder nodded again, once again, in agreement with her.
"You want me to get my stuff back at my apartment, pick something up for
us to eat, and come back here?" he asked, knowing that she was too weak and
emotionally strung-up to cook.
Scully looked up at him and nodded, but did not speak.
"Okay," mulder breathed. He got up from the couch and touched her arm.
"I'll be right back," he promised. He then walked out of her apartment,
to h is car, and drove home.
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He opened the door to his apartment. The door flung back from the force
of hitting the wall, and came back, slowly closing. Absent-mindedly, he
stuck his food out to stop it. He studied his apartment as a stranger, as an
outsider, knowing that this would probably be the last time he'd see it
before Scully died. Before half of himself would be missing. Before his
worst nightmare came to life.
Putting the ugly thoughts aside, he walked into his apartment and past
his coffee table. A glinting object caught his eye. He was just about to go
into his bedroom, but his feet protested, and his eyes stayed glued to the
object. He lifted it up off the table and studied the object's sleek curves
and contours. It fit perfectly on his fingers, and the cold, cold metal felt
so good on his skin. He slowly lifted the black object to his temple. Oh,
how good it would feel! He closed his eyes. If he killed himself, all his
troubles and worries would go away. He wouldn't have to keep searching for
the truth, for Samantha. He wouldn't have to live with the guilt of his
sister's abduction, or Scully's. He wouldn't have to see her die. Freedom.
Plain and simple. Freedom. And all it would take was one pull of the
trigger. He stood there, desperately trying to clear his mind so he could go
through with it. But her face came into his mind. He shook his head
violently, trying to forget about her. But it did not work. Her face came
back again to haunt him. She had a grip on him and would not let go. And
then, he knew it. If he took his life, so would she. He could not live
without her, and she could do no different without him. The thought of
Scully, *his* Scully, committing suicide repulsed him. The thought of her
dying in any way repulsed him. Yet he knew that she was going to die soon,
anyway. If he killed himself, she would kill herself, and it would all be
his fault.
He ripped the gun away from his head and slammed it down on the table
beside him. A sudden range of emotions overtook him at once, causing him to
kick at the door with all his strength, only to fall to the floor. He felt
the tears coming and pounded his fists into the floor.
"Why?" he sobbed to no one in particular.
"Why?" he asked again, crying even harder.
Her image enterted his head once again. "Scully..." And that was all it
took for him to flip over the edge, bawling and desperately pleading like he
never had before.
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Mulder came out of his trance nearly a half hour later. He hadn't been
asleep, yet he was close to it. He'd been crying half the time, bawling like
a baby. And when the tears subsided, he fell silent, staring at the hard
wooden floor beneath him, not a single thought in his mind. But it wasn't
long before the spell was broken and he rose up to start gathering his things
to take to Scully's. He started in the bathroom first, taking his soap,
shampoo, shaving cream and razor, toothbrush, and comb. After
double-checking to make sure he had everything he needed, he went to his
bedroom. He was about to pick up his pillow to take along, but then he
remembered that Scully had an extra pillow or two that he could use. He took
his deoderant off his dresser and threw it into his bag, along with his
cologne. He then took out his suitcase and packed every outfit he had. He
scanned his apartment one last time and then decided he was ready to go. He
took one last look at the apartment before slamming the door shut.
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Scully sat on her couch wondering where the heck Mulder was. He'd been
gone for over two hours! He said he was going to bring his things from his
apartment and pick up some food.
she thought. Suddenly, a terrible thought
entered her mind.
As if that wasn't bad enough, the image of
him putting that revolver to his head that happened not so long ago entered
her mind.
she assured herself. But she knew, in reality, he would.
Her mother and sister had told her how sad and depressed he'd been when
she'd gone away. He was only half a man...so brittle and unstable. She knew
that if she'd died in that hospital bed, he would have killed himself, for
sure. Their lives had become so entwined together, that they could not live
without each other. Their bond was incredibly strong, even through
near-death.
Melissa had told her on more than one occasion that she believed that her
and Fox were soul mates. Oh, she'd denied it, allright. She'd denied it at
the first mention. Being the professional, no-nonsense woman she was, she
told Melissa that she didn't share in her beliefs that they were soul mates,
and that even if they were, things would just never work out. But a small
part of her knew that there definitely *was* something between them and
flirted with the thought that they just might be soul mates. And now she was
sure of it. She was head-over-heels in love with him, and she knew he was,
too. He'd gone all the way to Antartica with only a parka, snow-mobile, and
a syringe to save her. He was given vague directions as to where to find
her. He was lucky, oh, so very lucky to stumble into that hole underground
that led to the spaceship. And in her heart, she knew that he would travel
the universe for her. He would swim to the bottom of any ocean for her.
And, as much as he hated it, he would walk through fire for her.
He would kill himself for her.
As that last, horrifying thought entered her mind, she
heard a knock at her door. Her heart leapt into her throat. She jogged to
the door and looked into the peephole. It was Mulder.
She let out the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding in.
She opened the door immediately and hugged him, right there in her hallway.
He was still holding his carry-on, a bag of food, and his suitcase, but he
quickly set it all down so he could hug her back. She squeezed him so hard,
he could hardly breathe. But it felt really good.
"mulder, I'm so glad you're home!"
he thought.
"Sorry it took me so long," he said when she released him. She took his
carry-on and suitcase and set it down by her coffee table, letting him get
the bag of curiously good-smelling food.
"What took you so long?" Scully asked, getting up to shut the front door.
"Um, traffic," he lied. Even before he said it, he knew that she
wouldn't believe it. But she said nothing.
"I, uh, brought us some Chinese take-out. Your favorite," he grinned,
trying to change the subject and lighten the mood a little.
"Oh, good!" Scully smiled slightly.
"I'll go to the kitchen and get out the silverware," he said, already
starting to get up. She put her hand on his arm. "That's okay. I'll take
care of this."
"You really shouldn't - "
She cut him off. "This is *my* house. *You're* the guest. *I'll* get
it? And with that, she was off. Mulder cringed. She was just trying to
show him that she was strong. The 'I'm fine' routine. He hoped she wouldn't
be like this for the rest of their time together...
Just then, Scully came out with two plates, two sets of silverware, and
two napkins, setting them down on the coffee table in front of them.
"What do you want to drink?" she asked him.
"Water's fine." Scully nodded and walked back into the kitchen. She
came back with two large glasses of water and set them down on the table
before them. She sat down next to him on the couch and said, "Go ahead and
start," encouraging him to start dividing out the Chinese food.
Saying nothing, he reached inside the bag and pulled out the container
that held the entree, Won Ton soup.
"We'll need two bowls," he said, knowing that she'd be willing to get it.
She nodded and went back to the kitchen.
And that's the way dinner went. Not much talking ensued. But the
near-silence wasn't uncomfortable. They didn't need to talk. What they
needed was simply the presence of each other, which was just about all they
had.
Scully dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and then leaned back against
the couch.
"That was great, Mulder. Thanks." She let herself smile a little.
"Yeah, that was pretty good, wasn't it?" he asked, looking over at her.
She nodded in agreement.
After a few more minutes passed, Mulder asked, "So...what do you want to
do now?"
Scully paused to think. "Well, I guess I have to tell my family, the
sooner the better...Skinner, too. I guess I'll call them now." She looked
back at him for approval. He got up from the couch, nodded, and said,
"Okay." He went into the kitchen so she could have her privacy in the living
room. But he could hear her voice as she said, "Hi, Mom. It's Dana.
I've...got something to tell you..."
It was going to be a long, hard night.
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Mulder yawned. Scully had been on the phone for a few hours now, and all
he'd been able to do was put his head in his hands and wait for her to
finish. He knew it would take her a while, and he respected that, but he was
extremely tired, both physically and emotionally. He definitely needed his
sleep. Speaking of which, he wondered where he was going to sleep. He
really hoped he wouldn't end up on the couch. Just then, he heard Scully say
'goodbye' and hung up the phone.
"I'm done, Mulder!" she called.
"Okay!" he called back as he stood to stretch. He walked back into the
living room, stifling another yawn.
"Tired?" Scully asked, noticing his yawn. He nodded in response.
"Me, too," she said. "Let's go to bed."
Mulder thought. But he wasn't totally sure. He decided it would be
safe to ask.
"Where do you want me to sleep?"
She smiled. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt if you slept with
me...would it?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Guess not."
She smiled again. "Okay, just as long as you don't steal the covers."
"No problem," he beamed.
"You can change in my room. Just put your dirty clothes on the floor.
I'll pick them up for you and put them in the hamper as soon as I'm done
changing in the bathroom."
"Okay," he said, following her into the bedroom. He watched her take out
her PJ's and leave with them in her hand.
He felt weird taking off his t-shirt in her bedroom. This was only the
second time he'd been in her room. The other time was when his father was
shot. He had come to her with his father's blood smeared on his shirt,
slightly disoriented and highly feverish due to the LSDM he'd ingested. He
was sick, and she'd taken care of him. She was the one stripping him. She
was the one calling the shots. Come to think of it, she was calling them
again because she told him it was okay to unchange in her room and sleep with
her in her own bed. He then finished changing and then stood there, clad
only in his black boxers. It was then that Scully stepped out of the
bathroom wearing boxers, herself, and a grey tank top. He picked his clothes
off the floor and handed them to her. She went back into the bathroom to put
them in the hamper and came back seconds later.
"Ready?" she asked him, getting ready to flip the light switch.
"Ready when you are," he said. She then shut the lights off and walked
over to the window to open her curtains. The moon outside was full, and cast
a dull light on the bed. She then walked back to the bed and said, "Hop in!"
Mulder finally climbed in bed, then, relishing the feel of the soft
covers against his skin.
After his mysterious water bed leaked, he went back to sleeping on his
couch. Even though he was used to sleeping on his couch that he'd slept on
for years, the bed was so much nicer. Scully's bed was very welcoming to him.
"Goodnight, Scully," he said, already close to falling asleep.
"Goodnight, Mulder." She reached out and caressed his face. She held
her hand there and gazed deep into his eyes, smiling at him. He reached his
arm out and stroked the arm that was holding his face, smiling into her eyes
as she did the same. She then released him and moved back to her side. She
saw his eyes close, the hint of a smile still on his face. That beautiful
face. She watched him for a good amount of time, watching the rise and fall
of his chest, watching his feet move slightly, and watching his mouth part as
he fell asleep. She studied his lips, those perfect, full, lips that were
now emitting a tiny snoring sound. She smiled and then turned over on her
other side, hoping to sleep a restful sleep.
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Scully woke up at 9 a.m. She yawned a good yawn and looked over at
Mulder, who was still sleeping. It felt so good to sleep in for once, but
bad, once she remembered why she didn't have to wake up early to go to work.
A part of her wanted to be there right then. She'd feel secure there, as if
none of this had ever happened. But she knew she couldn't. She knew she
needed to be at home, resting, and spending time with the ones she loved.
Skinner had been totally understanding about her and Mulder taking time
off to be together. He'd offered his condolences to her and had told her to
'take it easy.' And she honestly had every intention to do so. But she
figured she'd better get the heavy-duty stuff out of the way first, which was
why she was going shopping that day.
She slowly crept out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping partner.
She then went into the bathroom to shower and start her day.
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Scully walked over to her coffee table and grabbed her keys,
completing her mental checklist. She had also left a note on the table for
Mulder, letting him know that she'd gone shopping. But where, she hadn't
told him. Nope! He couldn't know where she was shopping or what she was
buying. Not this time.
Smiling to herself, she quietly closed her front door and walked out of
her apartment complex to her patiently awaiting car.
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Her first stop was at a furniture store called Bailey's. She picked out
a shopping cart and wheeled it through the aisles until she'd found what she
was looking for.
she thought to herself. For the
second thing she needed, she had to go to the opposite side of the store. It
took her a long time, but she finally found what she was looking for.
She then went in line, bought her stuff, and left to go to one last store.
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Scully's last stop of the day was at a tiny store, simply called, 'The
Shoppe.' She went inside and immediately picked out a mini shopping cart.
She would *definitely* need it.
Since the place was so small, it only took her a few minutes to find what
she was looking for.
When she went up to the front desk, the clerk gave her an awkward look
because of her purchase. Patiently, she waited for the clerk to finish up.
It took a while. When he'd finally finished and had bagged her order, she
said a terse 'Thank you' and grabbed a complimentary pack of matches on her
way out.
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When Scully got home, Mulder was up, sitting on her couch while watching
TV.
she thought. She had with her a light bag
that she took over to her bedroom.
"Hi, Mulder," she said on her way in.
"Hey, Scully. Whatcha got there?" he inquired, still paying more
attention to what was on TV.
"Oh, nothing." She walked out of her bedroom and past Mulder on the
couch and said, "I'll be back."
She went back out to her car and brought back a bag much heavier than the
one before it. She really hoped she'd escape Mulder's radar.
She considered walking slow. Nah. He'd see her and what she had way too
easily. She then considered walking fast. But then, he'd think that
something was up. She decided to compromise with herself and walk somewhere
between those two speeds.
He looked at her, but then turned his attention back to the TV screen.
she thought to herself. "I just need to get one more thing, Mulder," she
said before going to her car for the last time.
She was worried mostly about bringing up this last thing. It was so
heavy, and in such a big box, Mulder would almost definitely be able to see
her. She knew about his inquiring mind. Oh, Lord.
She climbed her way slowly up the stairs until she got to her front door.
She had to actually set the box down in order to open her door. Somehow,
she made it in. Now, for the hard part: sneaking past Mulder. She stalked
slowly up to the couch, crouching, and looking from side to side, checked for
nothing and no one. And for some reason, she had the theme from 'Mission:
Impossible' going through her head.
She finally got close enough to the couch to peer over it, at Mulder.
But what she saw was no one. He wasn't there! Where was he?
It was then that Scully heard the sound of her toilet flushing.
She made a mad dash for her room, hoping that she'd get the heavy box in
her closet before he came out. She was lucky that he washed his hands for a
long time.
Then, Mulder came out of the bathroom. Scully stood there with her hands
clasped neatly behind her back, an innocent-looking grin upon her face.
"Want some lunch?" she asked, still grinning.
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Lunch went pretty well that day. Scully was relieved that Mulder hadn't
asked her about the bags and box she'd brought in.
she'd thought, When in reality, he hadn't.
He knew Scully was keeping something from him. It wasn't like her to do
that. She usually wasn't so secretive. He knew exactly where she'd put her
stuff. He'd probably have plenty of opportunities to find out what it was,
but he wouldn't. He doubted Scully would be keeping secrets near the time of
her death. He trusted that she'd open up to him later.
they'd spent much of the rest of the day not doing too much. Scully was
still full of energy, so she made dinner that night. She made spaghetti.
Later on, while sitting on the sofa in the living room, Scully announced,
"Im' bored."
"Me, too," Mulder agreed.
"Well, I have a pretty big tape collection. Wanna watch a movie?" she
asked.
"Sure. Let's see what you got." He got up with her to go to the cabinet
next to the TV which held dozens and dozens of movies. Mulder scanned the
titles...Durango, Pretty Woman, October Sky...ah-ha! The Exorcist.
"Hey, Scully, what about 'The Exorcist'?"
"Sounds good. Good choice, Mulder!"
"Why, thank you," he mocked. She lightly elbowed him and put the tape in
the VCR.
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Both Mulder and Scully were dog tired after watching the movie. But
especially Scully. She got up from the couch and grasped Mulder's hand.
"Come on, Mulder. Let's go to bed."
She helped pull him off the couch and onto his feet.
"I'll get my pajamas and change in the bathroom. Same routine as last
night," she explained.
Mulder yawned and nodded at the same time. "Gotcha," he said, following
after her to the bedroom. He again waited for her to get her stuff and go
into the bathroom. He stripped down to his boxers and soon after, Scully
knocked upon the door.
"Are you decent, Mulder?"
"Yeah. Come on in!" he said. She opened the door then and showed
herself. She was wearing a short, white nightgown.
he thought,
Little did he know, Scully was having the same thoughts about him.
"All set?" she asked, absolutely ready to shut off the lights so he
couldn't see the blush he'd caused to creep up her face. It was so hard to
look at her partner in his boxers. But it was *quite* an indulgence.
"Yeah," was his reply. He climbed into bed, then, as she shut the lights
off. She climbed into her side of the bed moments later. She reached for
her water on the nightstand next to her and took a tiny sip. She then
settled herself under the covers, lying on her back. Even though she was
extremely tired, she found that she could not sleep. She knew exactly why,
too. It was because she needed to be closer to Mulder. They were always
worried about their jobs, their professionalism, let alone their lives, that
it was rare that they got to share those few, sweet, intimate moments. They
both treasured each one.
Scully thought.
She looked at him. He had the covers up to his waist, exposing his chest
to the pallor of the night moon. She then moved over and placed her head on
his chest, just below his neck. He was a little surprised at first, but
then, he reached up a hand to stroke her hair. She leaned into him, leaving
absolutely no space between them. He kept on stroking her hair, until he
felt her left hand rest protectively on his chest, next to her head. And
then, he could have sworn that he felt her turn her head slightly and kiss
him lightly on his chest. He smiled and returned the favor by kissing her
the same way on the very top of her head.
"I love you, Dana..." he whispered, stirring her hair a little.
Dana's eyes opened at his words. She had heard him say them to her once
before, when he was doped up on drugs at the hospital. She had believed him
then, and she believed him now. She was surprised to hear herself whisper,
"I love you, too." It was almost as if someone other than herself had forced
the words out of her m outh. But she didn't care. She meant it. And to
prove it, she kissed him on the neck.
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The next morning, Scully woke up alone in bed. Since just about all of
her nights *were* spent alone, it was nothing new to her. It was then that
she remembered Mulder.
she panicked. But it was ten that she
recognized the smell of coffee.
Smiling, she stood up and got out of bed.
"Morning, Scully," Mulder greeted her as she entered the kitchen.
"Morning," she said as she plopped down on one of her stiff, hard-backed
chairs.
"I made us some coffee," he said, pouring it into two mugs.
"Oh, great! Thanks, Mulder," she said as he handed her a mug. She got
up from the table to put some cream and sugar in it, and then, she sat back
down at the table.
"Hey, Mulder, I forgot to mention this, but I'm visiting my mom tomorrow.
She wants you to be there, too."
"You sure you want me to go?" he asked.
"Of course, Mulder. Besides, my mom can't get enough of you." He smiled.
"Allright, then. I'll go with you."
"Good," she smiled. She had another very important thing to ask him, but
she decided to wait a few minutes. They sat there in silence for the next 3
minutes. It was then that she decided it would be the right time to ask her
question.
"Hey, Mulder?"
"Yeah?" he asked, shifting his gaze to look at her.
"I have a death wish."
For a second there, it looked like Mulder's eyeballs were going to pop
out of his head and fall to the table. For one instant, he forgot that she
was dying. But he quickly regained his composure and asked,
"Yeah? What is it?"
"I want you to go on a camping trip with me."
"With me?" he asked, almost as if he thought she wouldn't want him around.
"Yes, with you, Mulder."
"Why a camping trip?" he asked. He didn't very much like camping ever
since he found a raccoon in his tent as a young boy.
"Well, don't you think it would be fun?"
Mulder hesitated. "Sure, I...guess so."
"Great! Then it's settled," she said.
"Scully, are you sure you'll be up to this? What if something happens to
you, what if - "
She cut him off. "Then we go home."
There was another pause. "Look, Mulder. I have a first aid kit we can
bring. Also, are you forgetting that I'm a doctor? We'll be just fine."
There was another momentary pause. When Mulder never answered, and just
kept staring at her, she decided to speak again.
"So...will you go with me?" she pleaded with him.
He thought about it some more. He would definitely have said 'yes' if
Scully wasn't ill. But she was. It *was* her death wish, though. Who was
he to deny it?
"Allright," he gave in.
"Thank you, Mulder." She put her hand on his. "You know, this means a
lot to me."
Making eye contact with her, he nodded his hand in understanding.
"So when do we leave, and how long are we staying?" he asked.
"I figured we could leave the day after tomorrow and stay for a week.
We'll be going to a forest in Suttersville, Virginia."
"Have you been there before? I mean...do you even *know* the place?"
"Relax, Mulder. I went there a few times with my dad to go hunting.
Besides, we won't venture very far into the forest."
"Okay."
And that was that.
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The rest of that day was pretty much similar to the day before it.
Scully made dinner again that night, (grilled chicken sandwiches and macaroni
& cheese), and they watched a movie just before going to bed. Scully, as
usual, changed into her PJ's in the bathroom while Mulder changed into his in
her bedroom. And again that night, they cuddled just as they had the night
before. But morning soon came.
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Scully and Mulder both awoke at the same time to the loud ringing of her
alarm clock. Scully nuzzled herself further into the chest of her partner,
not wanting to get up. She stayed there for an extra minute, and then got up
and headed for her shower.
She came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, wearing only a towel, and
dashed for her room for her clothes. Luckily, Mulder didn't see her. He was
sitting on the sofa, watching TV again.
She quickly put on her clothes, her crucifix, and lightly spritzed on her
favorite perfume. She then went into her bathroom to brush out her hair,
brush her teeth, and wash her face.
When she was finally done with everything, she called Mulder.
"Hey! You gonna take a shower, Mulder?" she asked, poking her head into
the living room.
"As if I need to!" he mocked.
"Yeah, well, you were smelling kind of ripe last night. Come on, big
guy. Hit the showers," she said, throwing a towel on his head.
Smiling, he got up, pulling the towel off his head, and walked towards
her with a mischievous grin on his face. He waited until he was behind her,
and then snapped her on the butt with his towel.
"Hey!" she exclaimed. She punched him lightly in the ribs.
"Ow!" he said. He had to admit it: even though she wasn't trying, it
*did* hurt a little.
"Get in there!" she said, walking away.
"Yes, ma'am!" he muttered, not realizing he'd said it loud enough for her
to hear. She just turned around, smiling, and shook her head at him in mock
disbelief.
It was then that Mulder realized he was really having fun staying with
Scully. They had so much more time to goof around than they did on the job.
Smiling, he let his boxers fall to the floor and stepped into the shower.
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After Mulder stepped out of the shower, the smell of breakfast flooded his
nostrils. He wrapped his towel around his midsection and went back into
Scully's bedroom to change. Once he'd finished changing, he grabbed his comb
out of his duffel bag and combed his hair while walking into the kitchen.
"Smells pretty good, Scully," he said as he entered the kitchen. "What
are you making?"
"Pancakes," she answered, "pancakes with a special ingredient of my own,"
she said, a slight smile on her face.
"Oh, really?" he asked. "And what would that be? Alien DNA?" he joked.
Still smiling, she said, "You'll just have to wait and see..." With
that, she lifted a pancake off the grill and set it on a plate. She lifted
three other pancakes off the skillet and placed them neatly on top of the
other one. She then set the plate down in front of him, proudly. She sat
there for a minute, waiting for his reaction. The top pancake had little
chocolate chips formed in two, diagonal, intersecting lines, forming an 'X.'
"Dig in!" Scully said, waiting for him to taste it. First, he poured
maple syrup (and a whole lot of it) on his tower of pancakes. Then, he took
a big bite out of it.
"Well?" Scully asked.
"Delicious," Mulder replied, mouth wide open while he was chewing.
"Mmmm, good," Scully said, going back to the stove to check on her
pancakes. She stood over the stove, monitoring her food for a few more
minutes before it was ready. By that time, Mulder was only halfway done with
his pancakes.
She sat down and poured some maple syrup on her two pancakes and was just
about done eating them when Mulder had finished eating his.
"Hey, you almost ready to go?" Scully asked, getting up to put both of
their plates in the sink.
"Sure. Are you?" he asked.
"Well, just about. All I have to do is blow-dry my hair, and then we'll
be able to leave."
"Okay." Mulder got up from the table to sit on the couch and wait for
her, while Scully went to the bathroom to plug in her hair dryer. Within
five minutes, her hair was done, and they were ready to go.
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"Oh, Dana!" Mrs. Scully exclaimed after seeing her daughter at the door.
She reached out and hugged her daughter closely.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Fine, Mom. I'm doing great." And in all honesty, she was.
"Hello, Fox!" Mrs. Scully said, reaching out to hug him.
"Hi, Mrs. Scully. Good to see you again."
"Come in," she said, inviting them both into her house.
"Sit," she said, pointing to the couch. Once they'd sat down, she'd
asked them if either of them wanted coffee, to which they'd both replied
'no.' they'd already drank a lot at breakfast. So instead of going into the
kitchen, Mrs. Scully sat down in a chair opposite the couch, where Mulder and
Scully were sitting.
"So...what have you two been doing lately?" Mrs. Scully asked. Mulder
knew that even though the question was addressed to both of them, it was
meant more for Scully, so he let her answer.
"Not too much, Mom. We've been staying at home, taking it easy, just
relaxing."
"Oh, that's good. No, you certainly shouldn't go rough on yourself. You
need to relax as much as you can."
"Yes, Mom, I know. I am." Then, the room grew uncomfortably silent, and
Mulder knew that Scully wanted to talk alone with her mom.
"Would it be okay if I used your bathroom, Mrs. Scully?" he asked.
"Go ahead, Fox. It's the first door to the left," she pointed down the
hall.
"Thank you," he said, getting up to head down the hall. Mrs. Scully
waited until she heard Fox shut the door to speak.
"Dana?" she asked.
"Yes, Mom?"
"I need to know, dear...are you and Fox, um..."
Dana shook her head adamantly. "Mom, I've told you this before, and I'll
tell you again. Mulder is my partner at the FBI, and my best friend.
There's nothing going on between us."
"Dana, I can't believe that. I can't believe that you would lie to your
own mother about this!" She used her finger to lift her daughter's chin, so
that she would be forced to look at her. She continued.
"Your father and I were best friends, too. I used the same excuse as
you. I can see it in your eyes when you look at him and hear it in your
voice when you speak of him! The same goes for Fox. I know that you love
him, and I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind that he loves you, too." She
paused again.
"I think you should take advantage of your time left with him. Let him
know that you love him."
Realizing that her mom was absolutely right, she nodded and whispered,
"Ok." It was just then that Mulder, who hadn't heard a word of their
conversation, entered the room.
"Well, I'm going to go back into the kitchen and watch the chicken," she
said, getting up from her chair. "Go ahead and watch whatever you want on
TV," she said, leaving the room.
"Wanna watch some TV?" Scully asked him.
"Sure. Why not?"
She reached for the remote and instantly put on the Discovery Channel.
To her surprise and delight, one of her favorite shows was on. It was
Interior Motives, a show that had a very...um...colorful host.
As soon as the man with the strange-sounding lisp talked, Mulder and
Scully turned toward each other and burst out laughing, both knowing exactly
what was on each other's minds. They watched the show for another half hour,
when dinner was ready.
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The dinner that night was delicious. Mrs. Scully had made her specialty:
seasoned chicken. And no one made it better than she did.
After dinner, Mrs. Scully, her daughter, and Mulder went out into the
living room to talk. But not once did they mention Scully's cancer. She and
her mother had agreed over the phone two nights ago that they would not speak
of her cancer or mention her approaching death. They had agreed to talk
about nicer things to make the evening memorable.
They'd talked for hours, but neither Scully or her mother had wanted to
say goodbye. But when the clock chimed the eleventh hour, it was painfully
obvious that they needed to leave.
"Well, Mom, we'd better get going. It's pretty late," scully said,
standing up.
"Okay, dear." Mrs. Scully and Mulder got up as well, and walked to the
door.
Tearfully, Scully turned around to face her mother. She studied her up
and down, not wanting to forget one single detail of her. And as they looked
each other in the eyes, they both knew it would be the last time they would
see each other ever again.
Scully reached out her arms to hug her mom. They held on to each other
for a long time, hanging on to each other with incredible strength. A few
tears slipped from Dana's eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
"I love you so much, Dana," Maggie Scully told her daughter one last
time.
"I love you too, Mom." Scully turned her head to the side to kiss her
mother's cheek. Her mother also kissed her cheek and let go of her daughter,
but took hold of her hands.
"Dana. You...you call me every night, okay?"
"Of course, Mom. I promise." They hugged again, one last time. Then,
Mrs. Scully reached out to hug the man that she wished so very badly could
have been her son-in-law. She then released him and looked him in the eyes.
"You take good care of my Dana, okay?
"I will, Mrs. Scully," he promised, "I will."
Despite the tears that blinded her, she was able to open the door for
both of them.
"Bye, Mom," Scully said, stepping onto the porch.
"Goodbye, Dana," she said, watching her daughter leave with Fox's arm
around her. This gesture made her cry even more. She watched them get into
the car and slowly pull out of the driveway until they were on the street.
Smiling, Fox and Dana waved at her. It was the last time she saw her beloved
daughter.
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The next morning, both Mulder and Scully awoke to the loud ringing of the
alarm clock.
"Oh...do I *have* to get up?" Mulder groaned.
"Yes, Mulder. We both do." She slid out of his arms and went into the
bathroom. She picked a towel from the rack and threw it to Mulder, who was
still sprawled out in her sheets.
"Your turn for the first shower this morning!" she said.
Grumbling, Mulder grabbed the towel and stood up, walking to the bathroom.
"Breakfast will be ready by the time you're done," she said. "Oh, and
make sure you wash up really good. You won't be getting a shower for a
week!" she reminded him.
Grumbling some more, Mulder stepped into the shower.
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All freshly-showered and squeaky clean, Mulder stepped into the kitchen.
"What'd you make this time?" Mulder asked, sitting down at the table.
"Egg bagles. Speaking of which, what do you like on yours?" she asked.
"I'll have some cream cheese with strawberry jam, if you have it."
"Wow...you like cream cheese with strawberry jam on your bagles, too?
Hey, Mulder, you and I actually have something in common!" she teased.
He laughed lightly and waited patiently for her to fix up his bagle.
"Hey, Scully? What are we bringing with us?" he asked about the camping
trip.
"5 boxes of cereal, 14 hot dogs, two packages of buns, two loafs of
bread, lots of lunch meat, and, oh, a huge bag of marshmellows for bedtime,"
she grinned.
"Sounds good to me, Scully," he said as she came over to the table with
their bagles. "But what if the lunch meat or the hot dogs spoil?"
"Well, I'm going to put them in a cooler. And if they go bad somehow,
there's a food store nearby."
Mulder smiled. "Jeez, Scully. You have everything very well-planned!"
She smiled modestly, but said nothing.
"Hey, Scully? Two sleeping bags, or *one*?" he asked, waggling his
eyebrows at her.
"Two!!" she said, trying to fight the grin that was starting to appear on
her face. That was one of their in-jokes from a couple years ago. Suddenly
getting serious again, she asked, "You have a sleeping bag, right, Mulder?"
"Yep."
"Well, how about we stop at your place on the way there?"
"Sounds like a plan."
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"Scully? Are we there yet?" Mulder whined like a 10 year-old.
"Patience is a virtue, Mulder! Now, to answer your question, we're
really close. Be on the lookout for the 'welcome to Suttersville' sign."
Sighing, Mulder turned his head and leaned back in his seat, glancing lazily
out the window. They'd been driving for a few hours and had already made a
couple of rest stops. He was feeling a little carsick. He just wished
they'd get there sooner rather than later. It was then that he spotted the
sign.
"Hey, Scully? I just saw that sign you were talking about."
"Great!" she looked over at his mopey form. "Don't worry, Mulder. We'll
be there in about 5 minutes." He lightened up a little.
Suddenly, Scully went off the main road and ventured onto a dirt road
that slanted upwards. The tires made loud crunching sounds as they rolled
over the gravel.
Scully went a mile or two up the road until she reached the hill's
plateau. To Mulder's delight, she parked the car and then shut off the
ignition.
he thought. His queasy stomach rejoiced. He
went to the trunk of the car to help Scully get the tent out. He held one
end of the folded-up tent while Scully got the other.
"Where are we putting it, Scully?" With her free hand, she pointed to a
small clearing not too far away from where they'd parked, yet it was slightly
out-of-view.
"Over there," she said.
They walked a little ways into the forest and then set the tent down in a
space where it fit perfectly.
"Hey, Mulder? Would you go back to the trunk of the car and pull out the
small brown bag? It has the stakes in there, and the hammer should be
somewhere near it."
"Ok." He walked back to the car, easily found the hammer and the stakes,
and returned within a few minutes time.
One thing Mulder never knew about his partner was that she was *very*
skilled with setting up tents. They had it up right away. Mulder stood back
to admire their handiwork, the place they would have to dwell in for one
entire week.
"Good work, Scully m'dear!" he said. She smiled at him.
"Okay, next thing we need to unpack are the sleeping bags. Come on," she
said, leading him to the car.
After they'd put in their sleeping bags and pillows, it only took them a
few more minutes to get everything else.
Once they were done, they sat there on their sleeping bags, just thinking
and staring off into space. Mulder was the first one to speak.
"I'm hungry," he simply said. Scully laughed.
"It's only 3 o'clock!"
Sighing, Mulder fell back against his sleeping bag and found himself
staring at the top of the tent, listening to the quiet sounds of the forest.
It was very relaxing to listen to it.
"It's really serene out here, Scully, isn't it?" he asked her.
She turned over on her sleeping bag to look at him.
"Very." She smiled at him. "Nothing has changed since my dad took me
here."
"Hey, you said you went hunting with him...right?" he asked.
"Uh-huh."
"Well, those deer...or whatever you were hunting...they don't come around
here, do they?"
She smiled again. "Oh, no, they don't come around here. They like
staying near a stream a few miles out. Nothing to worry about.
Mulder said nothing after that, just concentrated on the sounds of the
forest once again. But with Mulder, there was never a dull moment. He was
getting wrestless.
He sighed. Again. "I'm *bored.*"
"Well, how about you put those hands to a good use and collect some
firewood. That way, we can eat our hot dogs sooner."
"Good idea," he said, getting up from his sleeping bag. He unzipped the
tent, crawled out, and then zipped it shut, setting off on his search for
firewood. He then noticed that to get some good wood, he'd have to go down a
rather steep, rocky hill.
he thought.
Smiling at his own thoughts, he started down the hill.
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A half hour later, Mulder returned to the tent carrying a bundle of
thick, short branches. He then went off in search for smaller twigs, which
were much more abundant. All-in-all, it had taken him almost a half hour tp
fomd tje twigs. By that time, he was *really* hungry. He set up the logs
and twigs and then called Scully out of the tent to light it. He figured she
might use the old gunpowder method. He was surprised when she pulled out a
blue matchbox that said "The Shoppe' on it. She held a lighted match to the
twigs in the middle and lit them on fire instantly. Mulder had a look of
amazement on his face. Scully noticed.
"I made sure not to forget to bring matches," she said. "We "willI have
a fire!" He laughed.
"Hey, Scully, I don't know about you, but I'm starved. Can we start
cooking our hot dogs now?" he asked.
"Sure. I'm pretty hungry, myself." She got up from where she was
sitting and crawled back into the tent. She brought out the cooler and
opened it, pulling out a package of hot dogs.
"Have your stick ready?" she asked, tearing the package open.
Mulder looked frantically around him until he came upon a good, long
stick.
"Yep!" He held it out for her to slip the hot dog on. he then held it
just above the flames and patiently waited for it to cook.
Scully had to actually get up to find a stick long enough. But it didn't
take her long to find one. She came back, put a hot dog on her stick, and
held it over the fire with one hand as she attempted to wrap up the other hot
dogs in the package. Deciding that it would not work, she put the stick
between her knees to free her hands. She made sure everything was wrapped up
tightly and securely before slamming the cooler shut and refocusing her
attention on her hot dog.
A few minutes later, Mulder's hot dog was finished.
"Hey, Scully, can you pass me the cooler so I can get a bun for my hot
dog?" he asked. She grabbed the cooler with her left hand and met Mulder
half-way. Opening up the cooler, he saw all the foods Scully had brought
along with them. There were 14 water bottles - 1 for each day, and even
Hein's ketchup and good, old stadium mustard.
"Jeez, Scully...you *really* came prepared!"
"Yep! And I had to drag along this huge cooler to fit everything, too!"
Mulder pulled out the buns, took, one out, put his partially-burned hot
dog in it and squirted on some ketchup and mustard. He then put everything
back and leaned against the tree behind him, warming his feet by the fire.
Scully had finished her own hot dog by then, and was ready to put it in a bun.
Mulder took his first bite. He hadn't cooked a hot dog over a campfire
in really long time. The taste surprised him.
he thought. By that time,
Scully was just about ready to take a bite of hers. She was also pleased
with the results.
"Pretty good, huh, Scully?" he asked.
"Yeah! Almost as good as the hot dogs my dad and I made."
Mulder smiled, knowing how fond she was of her father. Too bad him and
his dad never got along.
"So how many times have you been here with your father?"
"Hmmmm..." she thought, smoothing a few strands of hair behind her ear.
"I think once or twice," she replied. "A few years ago, me and my friend
Ellen came here. She really loved it here, too." She smiled then,
reminiscing.
"Yeah? How long did you stay?" he asked.
"Two days."
Mulder took another bite of his hot dog, then asked, "So why do you want
to stay out here so long?"
"Because I thought it would be good for us. We both needed to come here,
to get away from our problems for a while and just *be* together. I really
think we'll have fun," she explained.
Mulder smiled then, finishing his hot dog.
"Hey, you got anything else to eat?" he asked, still hungry.
"Well, there's 12 more hot dogs, but you know how that works...you have 6
more, and if you eat another one now, you won't have one for dinner tomorrow."
"How about the marshmellows?" he asked, desperate.
"Nope! I'm saving them for tonight. We can't eat them until nightfall,"
she grinned.
"Huh?" he asked.
"It's one of the cardinal rules of camping!" she explained.
"Cardinal rules of camping..." Mulder muttered under his breath.
Scully looked at her watch. It was 4:20.
"Hey, Mulder? Wanna take a hike with me? We really don't have anything
else to do."
"Okay, sure," he said, getting up and brushing the dirt off his jeans.
"Well, hold up, Mulder," she said. "We both need to bring a bottle of
water with us." She unlatched the cooler and dug to the bottom, pulling out
a bottle for herself, and one for Mulder. She then shut the cooler and put
it inside their tent, zipping it back up once she'd crawled out.
"Ready to go?" she asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be," he replied.
"Okay, then." Scully took the initiative to take the lead. Then, Mulder
caught up with her and matched her pace. They walked on a man-made path.
After a while, Mulder began to feel uneasy in such a huge forest with such
humongous, towering trees.
"Scully, you know the way back to our tent, right?"
She laughed. "Of course I do! If you haven't noticed, we've been
walking on a path the whole time. The only way we could get lost was if we
wandered off the path, something I have no intention of doing."
So they kept on walking until the path lead them to a gigantic hill.
"Hey, uh, Scully...you don't plan on climbing this, do you?"
"Sure I do! I've climbed this hill many times. You worried?" she asked.
"I don't care about me, Scully. I just don't feel that you're up to
this. I don't want to see you getting hurt," he said, sincerely.
She looked down, took his hand, and held it in hers.
"Mulder." She looked into his eyes. "I feel *fine.* And I know that
just about every time I have said that to you in the past, it's been a lie.
But now, I am telling you the truth. I feel alive! I feel great! I'm
*ready* for this! I just need your trust."
Mulder smiled. "Okay, Scully." Smiling back at him, she squeezed his
hand and continued to hold it, all the way to the top of the hill.
Once on top of the huge hill, Mulder and Scully found that they were
almost elevated above the tops of the trees. Scully smiled.
"Look, Mulder! You can almost see our tent from here!" she said.
Suddenly, something disturbed her excitement. Looks like her old friend had
returned for a visit.
Quickly, she dove for her pocket and pulled out a tissue.
"Oh, Scully..." he whispered, his heart breaking as he saw her dab at the
blood coming from her nose.
She sat down then, holding the tissue to her nose. Mulder sat down next
to her.
"Is there any way to stop it?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No. We have to just wait for it to stop. It won't
be long," she explained, trying to remain emotionally stable. Mulder could
just hear the pain in her voice. His heart broke for her once again. He
then put his hand on her back and smoothed it over her gently, trying to
soothe her. It was then that she layed her head against his shoulder, biting
her lip, still refusing to cry. She was Mulder's tough little soldier.
Within a minute or two, the bleeding had stopped, and she was ready to leave
and just get off the damned hill.
"Let's go back to the tent, Mulder," she said.
"Okay." She reached out for his hand again, which he eagerly gave to her.
For an hour and a half, they walked back in the direction of their tent,
hand-in-hand, drawing strength from one another. When they made it back, it
was 7:30, and it was just starting to get dark.
"Hey, Mulder. Won't be long before we can toast our marshmellows!" she
said, trying to be cheerful.
"Oh, good!" he said. "I'm still pretty hungry. You know what else?
Nature's calling, Scully," he said.
"Oh, great," she said, sarcastically. "Well, they *do* have a restroom
here. Let me just grab my flashlight here, and I'll show you the way," she
said, reaching for it inside the tent. When her hand came back out, Mulder
saw that she was holding her huge flashlight, the one they'd used on their
earlier cases.
"You lugged along that big thing?" he asked.
"Yep! Well, hey, it could be useful out here," she said. She then led
him down the same path they went down before. They kept on walknig until
they came to a fork in the road. Scully lead Mulder down the path on the
left. They walked for a few more minutes, until they came upon a porta potty.
"This is *it*?" Mulder asked.
"This is it!" she repeated. "Have fun," she added.
Smirking, Mulder opened the door and stepped in. He shut the door and
left Scully outside to stand guard. She moved forward a little, waiting for
him to finish. She looked up at the sky. It was really getting dark, and
fast. She knew that when Mulder got out, she'd need to use her flashlight to
make it back to the tent.
Just then, Mulder flung the door open and stepped out.
"Shall we?" Scully asked, turning on her flashlight.
"We shall," he said, smiling.
So they trudged forward with Scully's powerful flashlight in hand. And
within 15 minutes, they arrived at their tent. Mulder sat down by the fire.
"Stay there," Scully said. "I'm going to put the flashlight back and
bring out the marshmellows. See if you can find another good stick."
Nodding, Mulder reached next to him and found the stick he'd used to make his
hot dog.
Scully came out of the tent, then, a bag of marshmellows in her hand.
Seeing that he had a stick already, she handed him the bag and said, "Go
ahead and start."
Scully went looking near the tent for a good, long, clean stick. By the
time she'd found one and had returned to the fire, Mulder was still trying to
open the marshmellow bag. Sighing, she took it from him.
"Jeez, Mulder, don't you know how to open a bag of marshmellows?" she
teased. Opening it easily on her first try, she handed it back to a smiling
Mulder.
She then sat down next to him and waited for him to finish getting his
marshmellows out of the bag. She reached in, took out two marshmellows, and
strung them on the end of her stick, on top of each other. Setting the bag
down between them, she put her stick over the fire. They didn't say anything
for a while, until they'd finished toasting their marshmellows. Scully was
the first one to take a bite of hers. It was slightly brown, had a hardened
outer layer, but was gooey inside - just the way she remembered.
"Wow, Mulder. These are great!" she said. She took another bite and
waited for herself to swallow.
"I can't remember the last time I had a toasted marshmallow...I must have
been 14!" she said, reminiscing again.
Mulder nodded. "Yeah, I think I must have been the same age." They ate
away in silence for a few more minutes, when they'd both finished their
marshmallows and went for more.
"So have you ever been camping, Mulder?" she asked, taking another two
marshmallows from the bag.
"Yeah, I went a few times with my family. Some place in Pennsylvania,"
he said.
"You have any fond camping memories?" she asked.
He thought for a moment. "Yeah, actually, I do," he smiled, thinking
about it.
"Do tell!" she said, listening intently as her marshmallows heated up.
"Well, when Sam was 6 and I was 10, she brought along her make-up kit.
Our plan was to make my dad up when he was asleep and have him wake up with
make up all over his face!"
Scully laughed. "Did it work?" she asked.
"Nope. Sam had fallen asleep with the make-up kit under her arm. I had
to pull it out of her hands and then get up. I had the lipstick out and
ready to go, but Mom heard me figeting."
"Did she know what you were up to?"
"I'm not sure, but I don't think she did. She just told me to go back to
sleep." He then strung two more marshmallows on his stick and held them
above the fire.
"Do you have any fond camping memories?" he asked, turning to look at her.
"Hmmmm...well, there was this one time me and my dad were canoeing on a
lake not far from here. I was only 9 years old, yet my dad expected me to
row with incredible strength that I just didn't have. He was yelling at me
to row, over and over an dover." She pulled her marshmallows out of the fire
and then continued telling her story.
"Anyhow, at one point, it just got to be too much, and I refused to row.
I don't know exactly *what* happened next, but I found myself suspended in
the air, watching my father below me. I guess our weight wasn't balanced or
something. Anyhow, I fell out of the canoe and into the cold water, along
with my dad. The water was shallow, though, so I'm lucky." She then pulled
the top marshmallow off the stick with her teeth.
"Dad made me take a hot shower after that, but I ended up getting
pneumonia a few days later, anyway." Mulder smiled at her, picturing his
tiny Scully falling into the water as a young girl.
They ate many more marshmallows, eating and talking the night away, until
Scully realized she had to go to the bathrom.
"Hey, Mulder, I've gotta use the bathroom. Will you go with me?"
"Sure." Scully reached back into the tent and grabbed the flashlight and
then walked with Mulder down the path that got even more familiar with each
passing.
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The next two days of camping went exactly the same as the others...Mulder
and Scully would wake up, eat breakfast, drive into town for something to do,
eat lunch, hike, roast marshmallows while sharing stories, and then curl up
together in their tent to tall asleep. But by the sixth day, they had once
again used up all of their firewood. Mulder had volunteered to go out again,
but this time, Scully wouldn't let him. It was just starting to rain out
there, and it was cold, very cold. It made absolutely no sense for Scully to
go out there - if she even so much as got a cold, it would be that much
easier for her to die. But she had insisted upon going, saying that she'd
get back to the tent before the rain did any damage to her, and that since
Mulder's back had been giving him so much trouble, it would only be fair for
her to go. And, not wanting to ruin the bond that they'd created while being
together, he'd let her go.
Scully started cautiously down the hill behind their tent. There were
many stones sticking out of the dirt, and everything was wet from the
rainfall that was steadily increasing. She went down the hill step, by step,
by step. Just then, she felt herself lose her footing. She fell to the
ground and started rolling down the hill, trying desperately to stop, but
found herself unable to. When she finally reached the bottom of the hill,
she was met by a tree. It smacked her on the forehead and cut it open,
instantly knocking her out. Her head slipped down the tree and met the cold,
hard floor of the forest.
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Mulder sat on the floor of the tent with his knees drawn up to his chin,
rocking back and forth. It had taken him an hour to chop up firewood, and
Scully had promised it would only take her half the time.
When she had been gone for 45 minutes, he had begun to worry.
he wondered.
He looked at his watch. 1 hour and 10 minutes.
He then took notice of how the forest was so quiet. The only sound he
could hear was the sound of the falling rain. It scared him too much. He
knew that he should have heard the sound of chopping wood somewhere in the
distance. But he didn't. It was then that he decided to abandon the tent to
go look for Scully.
He sprang out of the tent and walked to the top of the hill. He scanned
it up and down, until he found her lying face down on a stone.
Thinking only of her, and nothing else, he went down the hill as fast as
he could and finally reached her side. Quickly, he turned her over, to find
her face covered with bloody smears. He felt the bile come up into his
throat, but he quickly swallowed it back down.
He noticed that the tree standing there had a smear on it, too, and so
did the rock, where her head was resting a few moments ago.
Before doing anything else, Mulder checked for a heartbeat. She still
had one, and it was still pretty strong. Next, he listened to see if she was
still breathing. She was still breathing.
He then found the spot on her forehead where all the blood was coming
from. She had a small wound above her left eyebrow. He lightly slapped her
cheeks and shook her, trying to wake her up, but to no avail. The rain
suddenly poured down with a vengeance, hitting Scully's face, mixing with her
blood.
Knowing that he had to get her to the hospital, he picked her up and held
her in his arms like a baby. He charged up the hill with amazing speed and
agility and didn't stop until he'd reached the car. His legs were on fire
and his lungs were in pain that he'd never felt before. He had amazed even
himself at how quickly he'd been able to get there.
He threw open the door to the back seat and put Scully back there,
stretching her out on the seat. He shut the door and was just about to run
across and hop into the driver's seat, when he realized he would never be
able to make it to the hospital safely in that kind of weather. He didn't
even know where the hell they were, so he couldn't call an ambulance on his
cell phone. The rain was now practically coming down in sheets. It was then
that he stood in the pouring rain, realizing that they were stranded.
He looked up at the sky and threw his hands up into the air like a
madman. "Why me?" he asked in a whisper. And then, not knowing exactly why
he did what he did next, he screamed at the top of his lungs,
"WHY ME?!?!"
He stood there, motionless, waiting for an answer. But the only sound he
heard was the rain battering down on the car. It was then that he remembered
why he was there and what he was supposed to be doing.
He sprang into action and was about to open the trunk, but then he
remembered that Scully had the keys for the trunk in the pocket of her hooded
sweatshirt.
He dashed back to the door and opened it. Once he was in, he pulled the
door shut, harshly. He had to keep the temperature in the car as warm as
possible. If she caught a cold...it would be *that* much easier for her to
die. It was then that he realized he had been with her for nearly a month.
Her time was almost up. He knew he would have to deal with it, and also,
prepare himself for it, but he had no idea how he'd do either.
Focusing on the task at hand, he reached into her pocket and pulled out
her key ring. Jingling the keys in his hand, he pushed open the door and
forced himself back out into the rain.
He seleted the first key on the key ring and tried it. Didn't work. No
big deal, eh? So he tried the second key. Then the third one. Then the
fourth, and so on. He stood out there in the harsh rain, letting it
practically weather him down as he tried to open the trunk, key after key,
after key. It wasn't until he used the very last key, did the trunk open.
he thought sarcastically.
He threw the trunk open and rummaged through it until he found a nice,
thick blanket.
Quickly, he ran back to the back seat and threw the blanket inside. He
followed after it and immediately shut the door behind him.
He went over to Scully and felt her forehead. No sign of a fever - that
was good. He tried waking her up, but to no avail. He gently peeled back
her eyelids...thank God everything was all right! She was simply
unconscious, and by the way she was shivering, he knew he had to get her warm
somehow, and fast! He moved her so that she was sitting up, and situated
himself so he was sitting under her. He spread his legs outward, and then
positioned her so that she was laying on top of him, facing away from him.
He then the slightly rain-dampened blanket from the floor and spread it
out on him and Scully, resting his head on the window. Though cold at first,
he got used to it. He kept a close watch on Scully, and tried not to nod
off. But the warmth of Scully's body against his, and the sound of the rain
falling outside lulled him to sleep.
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A few hours later, Scully was stirred out of her unconscious state, and
awoke. At first, she panicked, not knowing where she was. But then she
realized that she was in Mulder's arms - she could tell by his scent...that
wonderful MulderScent that was his, and truly was unique - and they were in
her car, avoiding the rain.
It was then that she remembered that her tent was out there, not exactly
avoiding the rain. Oh well. She wasn't going to worry about it. She was
going to just relax into Mulder's embrace and drift off to sleep. And that's
exactly what she did.
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The pleasant sound of birds singing fell upon Mulder's ears the very next
morning, awakening him from his deep sleep. He fluttered open his eyes, to
see Scully's tuft of red hair, illuminated by golden sunlight, just below his
chin.
Curious of the time, he raised up his arm to check his watch. 10:13 in
the morning.
He decided it would be a good time to wake up Scully, that is, if she
were really just sleeping.
He took his head off the back of the window to lean forward, but as soon
as he did, he felt a surge of pain in the back of his neck. He knew he would
pay for sleeping so oddly-positioned. Oh well.
"Scully? Wake up, Scully."
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she yawned a long yawn. She was
conscious, after all!
"Hey, Scully! How are you feeling?" he asked.
She put her hand to her forehead and came across the wound she'd incurred
the night previous.
"Weak, Mulder. Weak."
"You, um...lost quite a bit of blood last night," he told her.
"That's allright," she said. "The head contains a lot of blood. I'm
sure the blood I lost last night was minimal."
Mulder nodded. And for a few minutes, nothing was said.
"Up for some breakfast?" he asked. She slowly got up and turned around
to face him.
"Not really, Mulder. My stomach hurts."
Mulder noticed that the normal color that was in Scully's face most of
the time was now replaced with pallor. And he knew then that last night had
taken a few days out of her, and that she needed to get home and rest
immediately.
"I think we should go home," he said, fnally.
"I think so, too," Scully said, trying desperately to keep her emotions
in check.
"Okay. Tell 'ya what, Scully. I'll let you rest back here in the car.
I'm going out there to gather up our things."
"All right," Scully said, sitting up.
Mulder slowly got up and stepped out of the car. He took a moment to
stretch, and then walked over to their waterlogged tent.
He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to survey the damage. He
hoped the sleeping bags and everything else in the tent were okay.
Kneeling down in front of the tent, he pulled down the zipper to reveal a
waterlogged world.
No, seriously, it wasn't *that* bad. The sleeping bags were soaked, and
there was a few centimeters of rain on the floor. There suitcases, duffel
bags, bag of dirty clothes, and cooler were sitting right in it.
Sighing, Mulder pulled out his sleeping bag and started rolling it up as
he pulled it out. When he was done rolling it back up as compactly as he
could, he walked back to the car with it. He repeated the process with the
other sleeping bag and stuffed it in the trunk along with all their other
belongings. By the time he was donw, his shirt and pants were soaked. It
would just have to dry some time between when they left the campsite and when
they got home.
Slamming the trunk shut, Mulder walked around to the driver's seat door,
to find Scully awake, sitting in the passender's seat. He climbed in, shut
the door, and put the key in the ignition, asking, "Ready to go?"
Scully reached over and put her hand on his arm.
"Actually, Mulder, there's something I have to do first."
"What is it?" he asked, taking the key back out of the ignition.
"The last time me and my father came here," she said, staring off into
the distance, " we climbed to the very top of that hill over there. He
picked out the tallest tree up there, took out his carving knife, and carved
out 'Ahab and Starbuck's Tree' on it. I...need to go back there one last
time."
"Okay. We'll do that." With that, Mulder pocketed the keys to the car
and stepped out. Locking the doors, he met Scully on the other side and
followed her toward the hill.
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Within 25 minutes, Mulder and Scully made it to the top of the steep
hill. Along the way, they had to stop 3 times for Scully. Her mind and body
were slowly weakening, and it was now starting to show.
Once Scully found the tree, Mulder walked on a little further, enabling
her to some privacy. He walked to the edge of a cliff, overlooking a lake.
He leaned over the guard rail, his mind an absolute blank, his face, taut
with worry.
Several minutes later, Scully slowly approached Mulder, arms folded, and
put her hand on his arm gently.
"I'm reado to go now, Mulder."
He turned to face her, with that concerned look on his face. His eyes
met hers, and in their own silent communication, they started down the hill.
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Mulder and Scully ended up getting home around 1:45 p.m. Both of them
were extremely tired from teh long ride home, and the first thing they did
when they got in the door was collapse on the bed. They had a nice, restful
sleep, and woke up a few hours later. Again, Scully didn't feel like
cooking, so this time, they ordered out for a pizza. They ate on paper
plates on the coffee table in the living room, but avoided talking, or even
looking at each other sometimes.
After they were both done eating, Scully excused herself to the bathroom
to take a look at the cut on her forehead. The cut was big, but just small
enough that she didn't need stitches. She cleaned it and dressed it with a
butterfly-shaped bandage.
While alone in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, she was reminded of
her mortality. She was almost prepared to die, and had accepted the fact
that she would die soon, but she knew Mulder hadn't. She knew it from the
look in his eyes he'd had that morning, and from the way he was barely
speaking to her. And it was then that she realized she needed to go out
there and face him.
Walking out of the bathroom, she softly called his name.
"Mulder?"
Hearing his name, he turned his head.
"Yeah?"
"I think we need to talk."
"About what?" he asked.
"Just come here, sit down with me on the couch, and 'll tell you," she
said.
Obeying, Mulder got up from the floor and sat on the couch next to her.
For a minute, nothing was said. Scully was composing in her head what she
was going to say to him. Finally, she spoke.
"Mulder, we both know that I am going to die soon," she started out.
"But there are some things you must know before I do," she said, making eye
contact with him. He sat there silently, waiting for her to continue.
"I know how much of a self-blaming person you are. And I can tell that
you blame yourself for my condition. I know that I can't stop you from doing
it. But you have to know what I do not, never have, and never will blame you
for my cancer."
"Scully..." he started out, "let's face it. If you hadn't been assigned
to work with me, you would be much better off..."
"See?! There you go with that self-blaming stuff again!
"Mulder, I am happy with the way my life has turned out. I wouldn't have
it any other way. I could *never* blame you for my cancer. I blame the men
who did this to me, but not you. No, not ever you." She grasped his hand
and held it in her own, making eye contact with him.
"I...*love* you," she said, pausing before the 'love' to add meaning to
it. "And I could *never* hold it against you!" she added.
There was another momentary silence. But then, Scully heard the faintest
sounds. She looked over at Mulder to see that he was crying.
"What is it?" she asked, touching his knee.
Sniffling back the tears, he looked up at her. "Everything and everyone
I love has been taken away from me! My sister, my father, and now, you!"
She moved in closer to him and put an arm around him.
"Mulder, I don't know exactly what you believe, but I *know* that you and
I will be together again someday, somehow. I know it will be extremely hard
for you without me, but you can survive it. But I will wait for you up
there, for as long as it takes, and you and I *will* be together again!"
"Are you sure?" Mulder asked.
"Very sure," she said. "But there is one thing I need for you to promise
me."
"what is it?" he asked.
"When I'm gone, promise me you'll continue our work. You can't let Them
win."
He nodded his head, his cheeks still tear-streaked. "I'll do my best,"
he promised.
"Ok," Scully whispered. "that's it, then." After a minute passed, she
went over to him and asked, "Want a hug?"
"Yeah," he breathed.
She moved gracefully into his arms and buried her nose into his neck, the
way she'd been doing recently. They stayed clinging on to each other for a
long time, tears falling every now and then. When they were close to falling
asleep, they got up from the couch and walked hand-in-hand to the bedroom for
sleep.
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The next ten days were mostly spent at home for Mulder and Scully. Just
about everything they did, they did together, except for shopping, cooking,
and cleaning. Scully had finally come to her senses and let Mulder do the
brunt of the work.
In the morning, they would sit at the kitchen table reading the newspaper
and sipping their coffee. Sometimes, they'd stay in the living room and
watch TV.
In the afternoons, they'd find a game to play, and on Scully's more
energetic days, they'd go to a theater and watch a new movie.
In the evenings, they'd enjoy a nice meal together, curl up on the couch
with each other and watch a movie, and at the very last part of the evening,
before going to bed, Scully would call her mother on the phone.
And at the end of the day, they'd cuddle up next to each other in bed.
It was a great way to keep warm, and after all the time they'd spent
together, they'd come to depend on it.
In fact, the more time they spent together, the greater their bond
became. They were so lost in their own joyous world of love, caring, and
trust, that they were oblivious to just about everything on the outside.
But 12 days after they came home from camp, Scully felt different. More
weakened than she'd been recently. And though it pained her to admit it to
herself, she knew that it would be her last day. But she was prepared for
it. She had been preparing herself for it ever since she found out.
She had the day all planned out, knew exactly how she wanted it to work
out. She wasn't going to directly tell Mulder that she was going to die that
day...no, that would freak him out. She would have to hint it to him.
That last morning was just like the others - she didn't give anything
away. But that afternoon, Scully started dinner earlier than on most days.
And she absolutely did *not* let Mulder into the kitchen or dining room
before dinner. She told him just to simply find something on TV to entertain
himself.
When Scully had finished making dinner, she set everything down on the
table. She ran to her linen closet, pulled out a slender, long, vanilla
candle, and ran back to teh table. She put the candle in the middle of the
table as a centerpiece, then went back into the kitchen. She came back with
a matchbox. She lit the candle, put the matchbox back, and then called
Mulder to the table.
"Dinner's ready!" she shouted into the living room. After a few seconds,
Mulder got up and shut the TV off. He followed Scully into the dark dining
room, lit only by a single candle sitting upon the table.
"Whoa," he said as he entered the dining room. The table was adorned
with a nice, white tablecloth, Scully's nicest china, a nice, big turkey, and
all kinds of side dishes. It was just like Thanksgiving!
Smiling, Scully asked, "Like it?"
Still in awe, Mulder replied, "Yes, yes I do!"
"Well, go ahead and sit down," she said, doing so herself.
Across the table, he could see her beautiful face, illuminated by the
glow of the candle. It did wonders to her. Made her look energetic, a lot
more energetic than she'd looked in the past several days. Who knows...maybe
it wasn't the candle's glow at all...
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Dinner went very well that night. Both Mulder and Scully ate very good
at dinner. They of course, had leftovers - they had a very large turkey to
contend with, plus cole slaw, mashed potatoes, cottage cheese, and steamed
vegetables.
After dinner, Scully picked out a very cute, romantic, comedic movie for
them to watch that night. The two main characters never failed to remind her
of Mulder and her. She hoped that after watching it, Mulder would think so,
too.
When the movie was done, instead of changing in the bathroom like she
usually did, she took the bedroom and asked Mulder if he'd change in the
bathroom. It was really no problem for him...he didn't honestly care where
he changed...he just thought it a bit strange.
When Mulder was done changing, he took his clothes with him and sat on
the couch.
he thought after a
few minutes. He sat there for a few more minutes, when he heard the door to
Scully's room creek open...
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Scully's POV
I crept into my room, hoping he wouldn't be mad at me for making him
change in the bathroom. My fingers and toes were tingling from the
anxiousness I was having about what was destined to happen.
Opening a drawer in my dresser, I reached to the bottom and came up with
a blue matchbox. I then crossed over to my closet and pulled out a heavy
bag. Before I started setting things up, I checked the door to make sure it
was definitely shut.
I then carried the bag with me to the bed and set it down, pulling out
the first candle. It was short, fat, and had a fancy swirling pattern on the
top of it. There were 34 other candles just like it in the bag.
I went to the first candle and struck a match. Lighting it, the first
image that came to mind was a picture of me when I was an infant that my mom
has hanging in the living room.
I went about lighting the rest of the candles until I came upon the
eighth one. I was flooded with the memory of me and my brothers going out
into the woods, shooting that poor snake with the B.B. gun.
I kept on lighting more candles, each candle giving me a pleasant memory
or two from my past.
The next significant one was the fourteenth candle. Lighting it, I was
reminded of my first kiss, with my junior high boyfriend, Joe Porter. I
smiled, licking my lips, wanting badly to kiss only one other.
When I lit the eighteenth candle, I was reminded of the shenanigans of
me, my boyfriend Marcus, and my other friends on graduation night.
Lighting more candles, I remembered past boyfriends and all the good
times I had with them.
The twenty-eighth candle was an especially important one to me. That was
the year I was paired up with Mulder. I was reminded of mosquito bite
inspections, two mischievous twin girls, snobbish Scottish detectives, my
father's death, Jack's death, a certain liver-eating mutant, and the death of
Mulder's mysterious informant.
The next candles brought various memories...nice ones and scary ones.
Memories of giant flukeworms, circus freaks, Clyde Bruckman, Bambi, Robert
Modell, the Peacock family, Leonard Betts', my hallway experience in a
hospitall in Allentown, Pennsylvania, with Mulder, Eddie Van Blundht,
Post-Modern Prometheuses that were really into Cher, mothmen, a vampire town,
a psycho doll and her owner, a near-kiss, Mulder's first 'I love you' to me,
going undercover with him as Rob and Laura Petrie, him teaching me how to
swing a baseball bat, and more.
Then, I frowned at the last candle. the 26th candle. It was different
from the other ones...long, slender, and more elegant-looking. It wasn't
like the other candles, which represented the 35 years in my life...this
candle represented the love Mulder and I shared.
Finally, I decided to move one of my nightstands in front of the bed. I
set the candle - which was now lit, and in the holder - on the table and
climbed onto my bed to look at it. Almost perfect. The only thing I needed
to do was shut off the main, overhead light.
I dashed over to the lightswitch, flicked it off, and then dashed back to
the bed. *Now* it was perfect.
The room was lit up in a heavenly glow, and smelled just as beautiful.
It was a nice, pale, soft light.
I sighed, knowing there was more work to be done, but not awnting to
waste too much more of my energy.
I went into my closet again, pulled out a big, heavy box, and set it on
the floor. I then proceeded to strip the bed of its sheets, including the
pillowcases, throwing it all into one lazy heap on the floor.
I opened the box and pulled out the first new pillow sheet. It was red
satin, one of the smoothest things I had ever felt. I ran my fingers across
it, pleased with its softness.
I covered the other pillow in another red satin cover and set it down on
the floor. Then, I took out the giant sheet for the whole bed. It took a
good few minutes, but I fixed up the bed pretty nicely.
the next box I brought out of the closet was even heavier than the one
before it. I couldn't even lift it. I had to drag it across the floor,
hoping Mulder wouldn't hear me. I then sat down on the floor and opened the
box. It contained poles to attach to the bed for a canopy. That took me the
longest of all to assemble. When the poles were up, I draped a transparent,
white-netted sheet over the canopy structure.
Stepping backwards, I admired my handiwork. Mulder would just love it; I
knew it.
It was almost showtime.
As I crossed over to my dresser, a sudden chill came over me, and I got
goosebumps. I searched through the drawer until I came up with what I was
looking for.
I thought to
myself. Lingerie in hand, I walked slowly, somberly to my full-length
mirror.
I never took my eyes off my reflection in the mirror. Slowly, almost
ritualistically, I shed out of my clothes, to stand naked in the mirror.
I looked at my face. My sad, serious face. I tucked a strand of hair
behind my ear and continued on in my self-exploration.
Looking at my breasts in that warm, pale glow of the candlelight, I
suddenly realized how beautifulo they were, and how beautiful I was. Just
about everyone I had known growing up had larger breasts than I. But looking
at them now, I guess I sort of gained an appreciation for them.
My gaze continued down my body, to my belly. I saw curves, delicate
curves. My bellybutton was a nice feature, also. It was an innie. I had
always liked innies better than outies. But in this moment of great
self-appreciation, I was flying high and really could care less.
And then, my gaze settled on my vagina. It was then that I realized I
was wet, incredibly wet, and from what, I didn't know. Perhaps it was from
my own self-examination, or perhaps it was my incredible longing for him. My
strength was suddenly replenished.
I then looked down at the lingerie I was holding in my hand. I looked
back at my naked reflection in the mirror. Would I wear it? Or just stay as
I was?
I had bought that lingerie six years ago. It was when I went shopping
that one time with Ellen. It was only a few weeks after I had been paired
with Mulder. But by then, I'd had the opportunity to tell her LOTS about
him. We were passing Victoria's Secret when we saw this beautiful, black and
red, lace teddy. I clearly remembered her saying, "Oh, Dana! You should buy
this and wear it to the office for Fox!" We both laughed a lot, and when
we'd finally gotten over it, she dared me to go buy it. I don't know what it
was...maybe I was just caught up in the heat of the moment, but the next
thing I knew, I was in that store, buying it! For a little while, I viewed
it as nothing more than a gag gift. But soon after that, I realized that I
was in love with Mulder, and the lingerie became very important to me. I
wanted to wear it for our 'first time.' But as I looked at myself in the
mirror at that instant, I knew it wouldn't be right.
Mulder and I would make love that night, but not with me wearing that
lingerie. It would be our first, last, and *only* time. He deserved so much
more than to see me in lingerie. He deserved so much more than to see me
naked. he deserved to see my soul bared before him. And that was exactly
what I was going to do.
I walked back over to my dresser and tucked away the lingerie. Then, I
unlocked the door and slowly, deliberately opened it a crack, letting the
creaking nose drag out. I then drifted back over to the bed, ducked under
the see-through curtain, and climbed onto my bed. I lied down on the far end
of my bed with my back turned to the door, wanting Mulder to take in the room
first, and then, me. Tonight would be special. I could feel it in my veins.
Again, a chill ran down my spine.
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Mulder's POV
I thought. She had been in her room for nearly 20
minutes!
I
thought. Just as I was about to get up to check on her, I heard her door
unlock and creak open. I could smell the faint smell of something burning.
Getting up from the couch, I walked to her door. Without even asking to
come in, I swung open the door, to be met with something I totally didn't
expect.
Candles lined the walls of her bedroom. There was one tall one in front
of the bed, symbolizing what, I didn't quite know.
She had totally redone her bed. She had added a canopy, and red, satin
sheets. I then saw my Scully looking dead at me from inside the bed.
Never breaking her gaze, I walked straight towards the bed, lifted the
sheet, and climbed right in with her. We both reached out for each other at
the same instant and started kissing fiercely and passionately. Our tongues
met and mingled for the longest time, hands exploring.
Scully was absolutely, wonderfully naked, but even my boxers, the only
item of clothes I had on, were a huge restriction. She broke the kiss, but
only for a few seconds, to pull off the boxers.
She slid them off my legs and threw them to the floor in record time.
She wanted me like no one had wanted me before.
When she came back up, she grabbed my neck, which surprised me, and
pulled me into another passionate kiss. I was lost, so lost in her.
It was then that my fantasy came into my mind. Over the past six years I
had many a fantasy about Scully, but my favorite one had been this.
I left her mouth and slid downward, to her disappointment. She groaned
in complaing, unable to form words. But in a few seconds, she would complain
no more.
I grasped her legs and gently parted them, causing her to shiver. I felt
it through my fingers. It was then that I got my first glimpse of her
entrance.
It was juicy, and the hair surrounding it was a light reddish color,
making it look more and more like the peach I so desired.
With my fingers, I parted her and darted my tongue into her, doing things
to her I had never thought I'd live to do.
She smelled and tasted exquisite, exactly how she'd been in my dreams -
maybe even better.
I nipped at her with my teeth, which made her squirm above me, and then
smoothed it over with my tongue. I repeated the process over and over until
her moans got stronger, and she started bucking into me. I was so into her,
I barely heard her speak. I looked up at her expectantly.
I thought.
"Stop," she said.
"What??" I asked, as if she were nuts.
"It's time, Mulder."
I was just about to ignorantly ask her what 'time' it was, but looking
into her eyes then, I figured it out. I moved out from under her and went
back to her side. I then got up and hovered over her a few inches and looked
at her. Taking both of her hands into mine, I looked deeply into her eyes,
seeing there exactly what mine were reflecting...all the love, trust, and
care we'd built up for each other during the past 6 years. Her eyes suddenly
teared up, as did mine, knowing that this was it, and there was no turning
back. They were tears of joy, tears of pain, and tears of longing. Still
holding her hands, I asked, "Are you sure you're up to this?"
"I'm ready as I'll ever be. I have energy now, Mulder, I feel *alive*!"
She smiled at her comment, to which I nodded and whispered, "Ok."
Then, Scully's face got serious, and she said the words I had been
waiting eternity for her to say.
"Make love to me, Mulder."
As she said this, a tear rolled down her cheek. I leaned forward and
gently kissed her cheek where the tear had been, picking up the moisture on
my lips. Leaning back, I repositioned myself over her and let the tip of my
erection touch her entrance, but barely. Looking into her eyes, I glided
into her. We both sighed and closed our eyes as I slid ever so slowly into
her. She started purring like a cat, and purred even more when I touched her
magical spot, as far as I could go. I stayed there for a second or two, and
then drew myself back out, only to hammer into her again with full force.
"Oh!" she cried out.
I went in and out of her repeatedly, thrusting as hard as I could.
As I became closer to the edge, I found myself moaning softly, with no
control over it. And after every thrust, my moans became louder and more
desperate.
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Scully's POV
I was in Heaven, absolute Heaven when he thrusted into me. It felt so
good, it should have been illegal! I was high, high up in the clouds. He
took me higher and higher, stretching me to the limit.
A few seconds later, he thrusted into me even faster than before, and I
knew we were both on the edge of an orgasm. I met him thrust for thrust,
going at him just as strongly as he was going at me.
And I don't know exactly what happened next. But for sure, it was
magical. I looked into his eyes, and he into mine. And then, it was as if
everything were in slow motion. Using my very last ounce of strength, my
hips arched off the bed and met his with a powerful force. And in that
wonderful moment, he came in me, splashing my walls, and filling me with his
juice.
Shock waves radiated from deep in my belly and ran down my legs as I
slowly came down. Mulder threw his head foreward, next to mine. My face was
so soaked with sweat and tears, I barely noticed the blood that was now
coming out of my nose. But Mulder did. Lifting his head up to see what was
going on, he was pained.
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Normal POV
"Oh, Scully..." he said, gently wiping the crimson drops off her lip. He
then started to pull out of her, but she touched his face and said, "No,
Mulder, stay in me. It's time for me to go..."
Mulder's face paled. "Oh, no, Scully..."
"yes, Mulder. I have to go now. It's my time."
New tears began to form in his eyes as she continued.
"Promise me," she paused, starting to lose her breath, "promise me that
you will never...give up. Not on life, and not on the X-files."
"You have my word, Dana."
"We *will* be...together someday, so don't ever give up! I will be above
you, watching you...always! I will guard...and protect you."
"I know," he said, tears now rolling down his cheeks. Seeing this, she
wiped them from his face and kissed him on the forehead.
"Mulder?" she asked.
"Yes?"
"Would you kiss me...one last time?"
He leaned a little over to the side, to meet her lips in one sweet kiss.
Then, Scully opened her eyes, and looked up at the ceiling, seeing the light.
And then, she knew it really *was* time to go.
"Goodbye, my love..." she said, her words trailing off.
Trying to stifle his tears, he said, "I love you, Scully."
And then, she was gone.
Numb, he let the tears come out, then, burying his face in her hair.
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..." he cried repeatedly
into her neck.
And the candles burned on.
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You know, just after I finished writing this story, I got "Down On The
Upside," - a CD by Soundgarden - from my parents, a CD I'd been asking for
for my birthday. There's a song on there that I'd never heard, called
"Tighter and Tighter." I mean, this song fits the fic perfectly, especially
the last few parts. Here's the lyrics.
"Shadow face
Blowing smoke and talking wind
Lost my grip
Fell too far to start again
A sudden snake
Found my shape and tells the world
Remember this
Remember everything is just black
Or burning sun
And I hope it's a sweet ride
Sleep tight for me
Sleep tight for me I'm gone
Warm and sweet
Swinging from a window's ledge
Tight and deep
One last sin before I'm dead
A sucking holy wind
Will take me from this bed tonight
And bloody wits
Another hits me and I have to say goodbye
And I hope it's a sweet ride
Here for me tonight
'Cause I feel I'm going
Feel I'm slowing down..."
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All done, bye bye!
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