Forgive me, friends, for I have sinned--I have written something which
reads very much like a Janeway/Paris story. If that is going to cause
you angst, don't read it. Paramount owns the characters and the
holodeck, but they wouldn't presume to claim Da Vinci, would they?

BRONZE STATUES
by Your Cruise Director

One of the advantages of being adept at holo-programming is that no one
can ever deprive you of your own hour. It's a relatively simple thing to
have the privacy lock turn off automatically at the scheduled end of a
session; then the doors open for the next arrival, no matter what's
still going on inside. Usually people only get caught once before they
learn to keep track of time. I've had funny things happen once or twice-
-walked in on Chell laying an Orion slave girl, and the Delaneys in a
recreation of a Roman bath--but I never caught any of the senior
officers in a really compromising position before today.

Oh, god.

I should have known it was the Captain's program, but I wasn't really
thinking when I wandered in; I could tell it was a period piece,
probably Earth from the decor, but I entered in a foyer so it was hard
to tell. The big room smelled like old firewood and paint, and I could
tell it was some kind of studio, but there was a big bird-like thing
hanging from the ceiling and some other weird mechanical projects, so I
didn't stop to think that this was probably her Renaissance Italy
program. As far as I know, no one but Chakotay and Seven has ever been
inside with her. It's not my period; I'm into Earth a few hundred years
later, after cars and movies were invented. There were some sculptures
and stuff lying around the holodeck, but no artist and no Janeway, so I
went looking for whoever was running the program to announce that time
was up - Captain Proton was about to take over. I went down a hallway
lit by oil lamps to another large room. And then I saw her.

Da Vinci was sketching her, focusing on what he was doing, so I'm not
sure when he noticed me. Janeway had her back to me. She had one hand
over her head, one resting at her side, her ankles were crossed but her
thighs weren't quite together. Her muscles looked a little tense,
probably from holding the pose, but she gave off the overall impression
of being quite relaxed.

She was completely naked.

I just stood and stared. I didn't know what else to do at first - I was
afraid that if I moved at all, I'd stumble into something and alert her
to my presence. I couldn't have made myself look away even if something
terrible was approaching from behind me.

She was so beautiful, I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed in so long. It
struck me that she looked both larger than life and much tinier than I
expected. Her legs are so thin, and she's much better proportioned than
she looks in a Starfleet uniform; I knew it from seeing her in
Arachnia's costume, but by the next day I'd forgotten again. The room
was lit by candlelight, which gleamed off her hair. I always thought I
liked it better since she cut it and stopped tying it up, but now I wish
it had been long, hanging down in that light. Bronze and flame--even her
skin looked gold in the room. Like a statue, but not like a statue. Tiny
hairs on her arms, tiny creases where her ankle bent, but still so
smooth--I wanted to run my hands all over the curves, then lift both
arms over her head to make her breasts rise.

You know that metallic smell old sculptures have, which can sort of
remind you of blood, except it's cold? For some reason that smell
reminds me of women. When I see old statues, I always want to see if I
can warm them up. I know it sounds weird. Anyway, right then, I wanted
to press my face against her belly and see what she smelled like--what
kind of warm perfume. Then I wanted to pick her up, carry her over to
the couch, lay her down like a priceless antique, and rub her until she
glowed.

Dream on.

I'm not sure if I breathed too hard or what, but she and her artist both
glanced at me at the same moment. The captain looked too surprised to
say a word. As I stumbled backwards, Da Vinci said, "Is this your
Chakotay, Katarina?" For some reason that stopped me--the fact that
she'd told this hologram about Chakotay, and the hologram didn't think
it would be particularly odd for him to walk in on her posing nude.
Janeway made a noise like a shriek and grabbed something to cover
herself, which turned out to be a stack of sketches sitting on an end
table. When she had her breasts completely covered, the paper did not
quite cover her pelvis, though she didn't seem to notice. Ingoring Da
Vinci, she turned the death glare on me.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Paris?"

"I, uh, sorry, it was my turn for the holodeck and I didn know, um, that
is I wouldn't have come in..."

I probably would have buried myself deeper if Da Vinci hadn't laughed.
"You must be Tomas," the old man said cheerfully. "The one who builds
miniature sailing ships."

I stared at the captain. I didn't know how she knew about that hobby.
She blushed--after managing not to get embarrassed that I'd seen her
naked, she was ashamed I'd learned she talked to her hologram about me.
"Yes," I said to the artist, though I never looked away from the
captain. "I'm Tom Paris." My voice squeaked a little.

"Please wait outside the holodeck, Ensign." Janeway's voice brooked no
dissent. I dropped my eyes from hers, but that didn't help because the
tighter she clutched those sketches to cover her chest, the more she
revealed beneath. Much darker hair than I'd expected, and thicker... I
made myself spin around before I could inspect too closely, before she
thought to look at my crotch in return. Captain Proton's pants weren't
going to hide the rocket in my pocket.

In the foyer I crashed into a table and knocked some small sculptures
onto the floor. Fortunately none of them broke. I assumed they were Da
Vinci's but when I looked more closely, I realized that I recognized
them.

They were us. None of them were finished, but one had B'Elanna's
forehead, one had Seven's optical implant, one had a a Bajoran nose. The
one that was Neelix was holding a kettle. The one that was Harry was
playing a musical instrument. The one that was Chakotay was holding
something in his hands--an animal I think, some kind of reptile, I
couldn't tell what it was but I could tell he was gazing at it
reverently.

The one that was me was flying.

I don't mean like a bird--she had me in flight goggles, sitting in some
sort of ancient mechanical contraption. But I knew it was me. A cross
between Ensign Paris and Captain Proton. I kept turning it over and over
in my hands, so I was still standing there like an idiot when she came
out of the back room. She stopped short when she saw me. Having seen her
naked, I will never be able to look at her in uniform without that
vision superimposed. It made me jump, and I dropped the little sculpture
so that it rolled right to her feet.

She looked at it and at me and through me, put the sculpture back on the
table with the others and walked past me without saying a word. Heat
radiated from her; I thought it was anger, but when I said her title to
make her turn around, I could see she was mortified. "I'm sorry," I
mumbled sincerely, and I was--not about seeing her in the nude, I'll
never be sorry about that, but I shouldn't have pried. She nodded
stiffly and walked to the arch. I bet she'd never run late on the
holodeck again.

After she'd gone, I turned to find Da Vinci watching me from the doorway
of the back room. I felt like it would be rude to end the program
without asking him, so I walked over when he gestured me to his easel.
His drawing of Janeway showed me the full-frontal view I'd been denied.
She was so beautiful...I felt my face growing hot, and knew the artist
was staring at me.

"I would like to sketch you," he announced. "Perhaps as a study for a
statue." I realized that he wanted me to take off my clothes. The
weirdness of the situation--and having just seen the captain naked--had
left me in a somewhat, um, overexposed state, so I stalled.

"Will you make a sculpture of her?" I nodded at his easel.

"Perhaps." The maestro smiled inscrutably. "Perhaps one of my
apprentices will make bronze gods of both of you, and Katarina will
adorn her private study with them." I couldn't help laughing at the idea
of Janeway putting naked statues of me and her in her Ready Room--
Chakotay would spontaneously combust.

Da Vinci beamed along with me. "Pose for me, and I shall give you this
drawing as a gift."

I knew that the sketch couldn't leave the holodeck, of course. But the
offer of a naked captain was irresistible. "You won't give the one of me
to Janew--uh, Katarina, will you?" I demanded as I stripped.

The old man just smiled again. "Perhaps I will make a gift of the
statues to you instead."

Click here to read "Oops!", Cybermum's comic poetic sequel.