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- "Almost Famous"
(Reviewed August 13, 2000)
- After you make a hugely popular, money-making hit like "Jerry Maguire," you will be able to get a studio to let you make just about anything your little heart may desire.
Unfortunately, what "Jerry Maguire" writer/director Cameron Crowe's little heart desired was to make this shockingly bad "personal" film loosely based on his own precocious beginnings as a writer for
Rolling Stone magazine. There is almost nothing to like about this unconvincing, badly acted, phony-from-the-get-go fiasco. Kate Hudson is bland as a groupie. Jason Lee is flat-out awful as a fake rock
group's lead singer. (Once more I wonder, "How the hell does this guy keep getting work?" Did a casting agent really see Lee's headshot and say, "Now THERE is a guy who looks like he could play a
convincing rock-and-roll star?") The kid who plays the young Cameron Crowe belongs on a bad TV show. Only Billy Crudup, as the rock group's guitarist, has the right look for his badly written
character.
Okay, and Philip Seymour Hoffman is kind of amusing as Lester Bangs -- but not amusing enough.
Not to mince words, this is the kind of shallow, unsubstantial entertainment you would expect to see if the Disney Channel produced a nice little made-for-TV movie about a spunky kid reporter covering the
groovy rock music scene. I was reminded of this year's absolutely horrible movie about Jacqueline Susann called "Isn't She Great" as I watched "Almost Famous." Both movies left me wishing that their
characters had been treated as if the filmmakers actually wanted audiences to care about them as real people.
There are two scenes in "Almost Famous" that deserve special mention in the "Making Me Want To Shout `This Sucks' At The Screen" category. First, the "let's all sing along to `Tiny Dancer' on
the
bus" scene, which is jarringly stupid. Second, the "this plane's about to crash, so let's all reveal our secret inner feelings to each other and then end with a sit-commy joke" scene. Didn't we all see this
once on a bad episode of "Cheers"?
Final warning: This movie ain't no "Jerry Maguire," folks, not by a loooooong shot. Trust me. You have been warned.
POSTSCRIPT (added October 6, 2000): Have you noticed how many no-taste movie critics have wet themselves over this abominably lousy movie? One by one, they have lined up to proclaim,
"Hey, wow, this is my life story, too! I was just like Cameron Crowe! I liked reading Lester Bangs, and I was misunderstood, but I kept on writing, and look at me now! That means this movie just has to
be the best movie of the year!" Jesus Christ, do these ass-sniffing suck-ups have no shame? In the past three days alone, I have read an Entertainment Weekly writer and a Premiere writer both trying to pass
themselves off as Cameron Clones that way.
Take a look in the mirror, guys. Just because you may have listened to Led Zeppelin and picked up an issue of Creem magazine in between your
teenage
yank sessions does not make you Cameron Crowe's spiritual twin. How about judging movies on the basis of their quality (or lack of it, in this case), instead of based on your delusional attempts to
convince
us that you have something in common with the lead character? Grow up, already. And get over yourselves.
Back Row Grade: F
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