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Blood Work
(Reviewed July 30, 2002, by James Dawson)
-
About a half-hour into this movie (at most), you will quietly muse to yourself, "I know exactly how this is going to end, but only if the wrap-up is absolutely, completely stupid." That's because the lousy ending you will be imagining is so bad, so completely predictable, so flat-out moronic and wholly illogical that you won't believe the filmmakers could possibly foist it upon the viewing public.
Well, guess what? They foisted.
There's another thing that bugged the hell out of me about this movie (beyond the bad direction, the bad 1970s-TV-cop-show atmosphere, and the jaw-droppingly bad performance from cop-with-requisite-chip-on-shoulder Paul Rodriguez): For about three-quarters of the movie, you will be thinking that finally--FINALLY--this is a movie in which the senior-citizen-superstar leading man (Clint Eastwood, in this case) won't end up banging a girl young enough to be his granddaughter. And then, sure enough, a 30-something Latina eases up to shirtless septaugenarian Clint, lustfully runs her hands over his aged upper body, and we get the quick fade to black that means they are making Ye Olde Beast With Two Backs.
That scene provided the only enjoyment I got out of the entire movie, but not because of what was onscreen. In the audience, reacting to the fact that Clint has the transplanted heart of said Latina's dead sibling beating in his manly chest, an audience member responded to their pre-coitus clutch by yelling, "SHE'S HIS SISTER!"
Ho ho, it is to laugh.
Back Row Grade: F
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