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The Caveman's Valentine
(Reviewed February 10, 2001, by James Dawson)
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It's going to be hard for Hollywood to produce a worse movie this year than this ridiculous, jaw-droppingly stupid bore. Samuel L. Jackson stars as a cave-dwelling psychotic in a New York park who cleans up his act long enough to...get ready...SOLVE A CRIME. The whole movie, believe it or not, is played "straight." Actually, it is played worse than straight, because the deluded filmmakers also attempt to slather on a glossy veneer of earnestness and artistic pretension.
A better approach would have been to do the same idea as a total farce, with a rag-wearing nutcase serendipitously coming upon clues and witnesses, then reaching a spittle-flying conclusion based on babblingly absurd non-logic. Hell, I've even got a great title for that movie: "Sherlock Homeless." Sort of a crazy cross between "Columbo" and "Being There."
Attention, development execs: I'm in the book.
Back Row Grade: F
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