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Collateral Damage
(Reviewed January 30, 2002, by James Dawson)
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A dimwitted and surprisingly cheesy waste of time, with an ending that will impress any viewer who feels the irrepressible urge to stand up in a theatre and shout, "This movie could not possibly get any
dumber!"
Regular-Joe L.A. fireman Arnold Schwarzenegger, all by his lonesome, goes hunting a Colombian terrorist whose latest handiwork killed Arnold's foxy wife and his adorable little munchkin. The message
here seems to be that relatives of World Trade Center casualties would get up the gumption to ditch work, lock-and-load and hop on a plane to Afghanistan, if they really cared about their losses.
Instead of acting as a catharsis for every bigmouthed couch-bound warhawk with a hard-on for Osama, "Collateral Damage" comes across more as a slap in the face to anyone who prefers letting
Operation Expensive Fiasco handle the job instead of getting off their overfed asses and hooking up with a mercenary squad to take out the trash. "Every day you sit in your warm, cozy theatres watching
millionaire bad actors in flashy movies, bin Charlie hunches in his cave, getting stronger."
Absolutely the only thing good about this flick is some character's comment that the United States should get the hell out of Colombia. Ha-ha, fat chance! Empty your pockets, taxpayers, because the
"War on Your Wallet"...oops, I mean the "War on Terrorism"...is here to stay! Buy a car flag and grab your ankles!
Back Row Grade: F
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