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- The Contender
(Reviewed October 7, 2000, by James Dawson)
- This astonishingly awful crock of crap is one of the very worst movies of 2000, right down there with "Coyote Ugly" and "Loser." It is not even redeemable as one of those
"so-bad-it-is-perversely-entertaining" disasters such as "Battlefield Earth." This one just plain stinks.
Where do I begin? The crack-brained plot would have us believe that Joan Allen's character, a senator nominated to succeed a vice president who (presumably) died in office, is a former Republican
who
became a Democrat after the Clinton impeachment. How utterly preposterous is it that this character ever, in any bizarre universe, could have been anything other than a radical left-wing Democrat? During
her confirmation hearings, she says she wants to remove all handguns from every American home, is pro-choice, and wants the death penalty abolished. The only reason the plot makes her a former GOP
member is to include a vote for Clinton's impeachment on her list of accomplishments, which she says she cast (as a Republican, remember) because Clinton was "not guilty, but responsible." What? I
repeat:
What? That was the argument used by snivelling hypocrites who voted AGAINST impeachment, not for it! They admitted that what Clinton had done was wrong, but claimed he nevertheless was not guilty
of
perjury and obstruction of justice.
Evidence arises that Joan Allen's character took part in a college gang-bang, but she refuses to answer questions about her personal life, which she regards as "sexual McCarthyism." Her stoic
silence
is presented as if it is a good thing -- as if elected officials who trot out their families at every occasion, and whose character determines how they will vote on matters of conscience in the legislature, should
not
be expected to lower themselves by addressing questions about their own morality. Please.
Jeff Bridges portrays the president as a purely one-dimensional good-old-boy, so poorly fleshed out that we have no idea if he even has a wife or kids. Virtually every time he appears onscreen in
the
Oval Office, his tiresome running gag is to ask the White House chef for increasingly exotic things to eat. This is the kind of sophisticated wit that one usually must watch a WB sitcom to enjoy.
Gary Oldman plays the stereotypically despicable and likewise one-dimensional Republican who is out to sabotage the would-be VP's nomination. Look, I'm sorry, but I am so sick and tired of
liberal Hollywood constantly presenting Democrat politicians as flawed-but-noble saints and Republicans as snake-eyed psychotics that I could puke. Don't get me wrong, I despise Democrats only slightly
more than I dislike Republicans. (I'm a Libertarian, so I say "a pox on both their houses.") But movies like this one could have been sponsored by the Democratic National Committee.
Along those same lines, the very worst thing about this stupid movie (and that's saying a lot) is its jaw-droppingly moronic twist ending, in which the director may as well have made angel wings
sprout from Joan Allen's shoulder blades and had her ascend unto the heavens. Honestly, even the most die-hard Democrat will be left agog at the flat-out ridiculous lengths to which the movie goes to
restore
Allen's character's virtue.
After the fade-out, we are presented with the absurdly pompous closing words "FOR OUR DAUGHTERS" in white capital letters against a black screen.
They deserve better. We all do.
Back Row Grade: F
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